1Sean Lowe Swears He and His ‘Bachelor’ Fiancee Catherine Won’t Have Sex Before Marriage

Sean Lowe is so full of shit. First he’s doing Dancing with the Stars despite having no interest in fame (because I guess he’s just a big fan of Bob Fosse or something), and now he swears that he and his chosen Bachelor winner and fiancee Catherine Giudici won’t be engaging in any rumpy pumpy before saying their vows. Uh, yeah, okay.

From People:

“I’m just so excited that the secret is out,” Lowe tells PEOPLE.

Adds Giudici: “Now, we can be a normal couple and hold hands in public!”

Hold hands they will, but Lowe and Giudici have vowed to save being intimate until after the wedding.

“From my perspective, I’ve lived life kind of selfishly for a long time,” says Lowe, a conservative Christian and born-again virgin. “Now, I’m going to try to live it the way I know to be right.”

As for his bride-to-be’s feelings on the topic? “I honor him,” she says.

Okay, I’m sorry, but I sort of feel like these two had sex way back on the night of the whole Fantasy Suite fiasco. Also, it’s not like he’s some random bro she’s just met and has barely spent any time with (oh wait…) – he’s her fiancé and when you are in that type of relationship and things get at all physical, it’s a bit hard to stop. I’m not saying that they can’t, or that it’s wrong if they actually are doing this – I’m just saying they’re most likely lying through their teeth and have been sleeping together since the show ended, at the very least. What do you think?

March 14, 2013 at 7:30 am by Jennifer

7Bachelor Sean Lowe To Be On Dancing With The Stars

Sean Lowe of The Bachelor is a surprise addition to Dancing with the Stars. Announced this morning on Good Morning America, Mr. Lowe with dance partner Peta Murgatroyd will join luminaries Andy Dick and Wynonna Judd among others on season 16 of ABC’s reality dancing show.

AND I AM SO PUMPED.

Did you guys watch The Bachelor finale? Sean chose Catherine, who seems okay but barely got any screen time and isn’t nearly as much of an audience favorite as runner-up Lindsay. Sean also really, really didn’t want to break up with Lindsay but he had to because that’s the nature of the show yet he also liked Catherine but one of them had to go, so he told Lindsay, “I have no real reason to break up with you” and “I love you” and sent her on her way and then proposed to Catherine a few hours later. GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW.

He and Catherine are going to marry on TV. Bachelor Biceps wants to make something clear though:

I’ve always said I’m not looking for fame. In fact, I don’t like the fame aspect of The Bachelor or Dancing With the Stars. But when an opportunity like Dancing comes along, it’s too good to pass up. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I wouldn’t have taken it had Catherine not been OK with it. She’s fully supporting me. She’s in my corner. She’s going to be on this crazy ride with me.

Translation: Oh my God you guys they paid me so much money you have no freaking idea, I can’t even, you guys, you guys if I could show you this check you would understand, I can’t even, you guys.

On Bachelor Biceps surprise addition, Andy Dick said,

Oh Lord. If he has those guns and he’s got the dance moves, then watch out America.

Translation: Oh my God you guys I am going to have try THAT MUCH HARDER to keep everyone’s attention on me at all times, you guys, you guys, oh my God.

March 12, 2013 at 4:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives

2Anderson Cooper Wants You To Know That ‘The Bachelor’ Isn’t Real

In “no duh” news of the day, Anderson Cooper has warned viewers that The Bachelor is fake during an episode of Anderson Cooper Live.

“Can somebody please explain to me why anyone: A) Watches this show, and B) Thinks this is real? Haven’t we learned that this is just fake? These people don’t stay together, they don’t even last together for the reunion show. This show, I just don’t understand.”

No shit, Sherlock. Next thing you’re going to tell me that Anne Hathaway is annoying or that chocolate cake is the best dessert. Some things are just known. No one watches The Bachelor because they’re a pure romantic and wants to see true love play out before their very eyes, they watch it for the LOLZ and the guarantee that there’ll be at least one crazy bitch on per season that’ll make it all worthwhile.

This season hasn’t disappointed, either. Girl, have you seen Tierra? She is an absolute nutcase and I love her so much (and was devastated – spoiler alert! – when she left this week). Hilariously, this news story is the gift that keeps on giving because Tierra is actually engaged to some bro she was dating before she filmed the show. He apparently realised when she left to film the show that he had strong feelings for her, so he put a ring on it. I’m devastated, because now she won’t be the next Bachelorette. RIP, Tierra’s TV career.

February 14, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer

1“WHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA–?!!? PAPARAZZI!?!? FOR ME!?!?!?!”

You know when you’re at a surprise party and the guest of honor totally knows that the surprise is coming, so when everyone jumps out they way over compensate by giving a really large, fake reaction? OK. So that’s all I can think of when I see these pictures of Jake Pavelka leaving a Banana Republic in NYC. His face is all, “Lalala, just leaving this store with a glass door that I can see out of–OH! WHAT?! WHAT!? It’s the cameras! Ahhh, hey guys. What a surprise. So nice to see you. It’s almost as if my publicist didn’t call you to come here. You rascals. Well, see you later!” And the best thing about these pictures, in my opinion, is that fierce ‘n’ sassy black lady walking out the door behind him. I worship how “over it” she looks. Worship.

August 4, 2010 at 11:25 am by Molls

5Jake Isn’t the Only One Who Hates Vienna These Days

According to exclusive prying into personal business sources at RadarOnline, Vienna Girardi’s ex-boyfriend (no, not this one here, a different one, but this one can’t spell, either) is pissed to the point where he’s spitting nails and wants to punch his former lover in the face.

RadarOnline got a hold of some pretty incriminating — and threatening — text messages sent to Vienna by her ex-boyfriend, Brian Lee Smith, who claims that she broke his heart, so for retribution, he wants to break her face:

Brian: “It’s your turn to once get alittle of the pain I feel if I will nit lie or make up anything all truth oh btw I’ll be comin to la soon…for the record u told me I could if u hurt me again (in those fake emails) lol”

Vienna: “Please stop! Look I get that your upset but this isn’t the way to get me back.”

Brian: “Upset is not the word I want to punch you in the face and whatever I say deny it’s cool I have proof on everything! I’m not dumb I won’t say anything I can’t back up…Just to show I’m a better person than u I sold u out for free!!!!!! I would not except one penny…f**k u Vienna hope ur happy now it’s your turn look like a f**king idot.”

(more…)

July 14, 2010 at 8:23 am by Sarah

0Bad Boy!

So this is a pic o’ the Bachelor, Lorenzo. He is chatting with an unidentified female companion. Now, my picture of them making out was too dark which makes me sad. Please take my word for this. I’m guessing his relationship with his bachelorette is over. Why do they still have this show on the air. It doesn’t really work…ever.

If I can photoshop up my darker pic I’ll post it.

Enjoy. The T is back in NYC so I’ll hopefully get a good scoop out of “contacts” here.

November 20, 2006 at 5:02 am by Evil Beet