Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Tea Leoni

So, I Guess These Two Are Staying Together

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Ever since they announced their split last year, David Duchovny and Tea Leoni have been seen together all over the place both as a couple and with their children.  This weekend they spent Father’s Day weekend together in Malibu.  Sometimes, making an “impending divorce” statment is just the trick to re-ignite the spark in a marriage.

According to friends, the couple are “still in love,” and trying to make it work for their kids.  You don’t see too much of that in Hollywood — or anywhere, for that matter — so it’s nice when it happens.

Duchovny openly admitted to struggling with a sex addiction.  Here’s hoping he’s licked it.

One Big Happy Family!

There’s no better way to ask America nicely to stop talking about your no-longer-estranged husband’s stay in sexhab than to show up courtside at a Knicks game with your two young children.

David Duchovny and Tea Leoni brought their kiddos, Madelaine and Kyd, to watch the Knicks play the Pistons in New York on Monday night.

Those are very cute kids, although they do look terribly bored to be there. Also I always think it’s kind of shitty to drag children into a PR stunt, but I guess I see what they’re trying to say here. Like, “Please stop talking about how my husband’s a sex maniac; my children have to exist in the same universe as your magazines.”

Lastly, I have to say that I love their kids’ names. I think Madelaine (or any variation on the spelling) is always an adorable little girl’s name, and naming a boy “Kyd” is actually kind of a cool idea. It’s very cute on a child and very sexy on a man. I dig.

David Duchovny’s Close Friend Doesn’t Deny

Edit Pakay (pictured above, left), the 28 year-old tennis instructor and mid-life crisis to David Duchovny, is speaking out to The Daily Mail about their relationship.  What are the chances that Duchovny will ever take her call again?

“We have a very, very close friendship. I don’t want to be the third person in the marriage but I know it can be seen that way.  David and I are very close friends and we still play tennis together. He’s an excellent player. He likes physically strong, fit women.  He is in great shape. He is a wonderful man.”

When asked directly if they had a sexual relationship, she replied “I don’t want to say anything that might hurt David. I am not going to deny it. I don’t know what our relationship means to him.”

David allegedly told her that he was going to leave his wife so that they could be together.  And she believes him.  Young and stupid.

Ah…and my favorite quote of the interview: “I might talk more later.”  Really?  What else could you possibly say?  You fucked David Duchovny.  We get it.

Tea Leoni must be in awe of what a cliche her life has become.

Tea Leoni Surrenders All Public Goodwill to the Army of Billy Bob Thornton’s Penis

ZOMG.

So, like, after Tea Leoni’s husband, David Duchovny, checked himself into sex rehab, we were all like, “Awww, poor Tea! What a doll to support her husband through such a horrific and humiliating time. Hooray for Tea!”

But it turns out that part of the couple’s problems actually stemmed from the fact that she was having sex with the grossness that is Billy Bob Thornton.

Apparently David found sexual texts sent between the two, and witnesses report seeing Tea at a bunch of Billy Bob’s band gigs, where she “helps him load and unload his truck.” Heh. “Unloading the truck.” Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

If You Can Believe It, David Duchovny and Tea Leoni Are Separated

This should come as a shock to no one.

At some point after she realized her husband was a cheating, sex-addicted asshole, Tea Leoni left him.

They released a joint statement today:

“In light of continuous speculation over the lives and marriage of Tea Leoni and David Duchovny, the couple has confirmed that they have in fact been separated for several months,” the statement says. “The couple had hoped to keep this separation private for the sake of their children.”

So, ya know, there you have it.

Sex addiction and marriage, it turns out, are not all that compatible.

Tea Leoni Isn’t Feeling Particularly Festive Right Now

In the wake of the news that her longtime husband, David Duchovny, has checked into rehab for a sex addiction, Tea Leoni has cancelled her scheduled appearance at the Toronto International Film Festival to promote her new movie, Ghost Town.

And it’s easy to say that she did this because she doesn’t want to deal with the questions about her husband, but you know her publicist would have been very fucking clear with the journalists that they were to ask no questions about her personal life. No, what she’s actually doing is a huge favor to journalists, whose heads may have exploded if they had to sit in a room with Tea Leoni right now and keep a straight face while chatting with her for fifteen minutes about some fucking movie. “So, what was it like working with director David Koepp? Uh-huh, uh-huh. And, um, I’ve heard Greg Kinnear can be quite the prankster on set. Did you experience any of that firsthand? Yeah? Really? And, so, then, what’s it like being married to a total perv for eleven years? I mean, exactly how many STDs do you think you have at this point? I’m sorry, Tea. What I meant to say was, uh, what attracted you to this project?”

It would have been such a farce.

Related: the next person who headlines a Duchovny-related article utilizing the term “XXX-Files” needs to die in an unpleasant way.