So the Kennedy family matriarch, Ethel Kennedy, recently interviewed at the Robert F. Kennedy Gold Golf Tournament, and when inevitably asked about Taylor Swift and her place in the Kennedy family, Ethel answered, “… she is just spectacular. She is just sensational, inside and out. She’s very kind and… do you know what she really is? She’s game. She had never sailed before. She sailed… She played [everything] that everyone else was doing and she was good at it. And [with] no fuss.”
Oh Taylor. How perfect can you be?
October 15, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Sarah
“The way I look at love is you have to follow it, and fall hard, if you fall hard. You have to forget about what everyone else thinks. It has to be an us-against-the-world mentality. You have to make it work by prioritizing it, and by falling in love really fast, without thinking too hard. If I think too hard about a relationship I’ll talk myself out of it.”
- Taylor Swift makes complete sense while discussing the way she looks at love.
I’ll admit that the “it has to be an us-against-the-world mentality” could be taken in a different way, but the way I read it, it sounds like Taylor’s saying that when you love someone, you’re automatically on the defense, which is weird. I probably thought that because of the preceding thought, “you have to forget what everyone else thinks.” Because girl, to a certain extent, that’s true, but if everyone in your life thinks you’re dating a douchebag, then you might want to consider the possibility that you’re dating a douchebag. Or, in Taylor’s case, if everyone thinks you’re creepy for dating a high school junior, then, you know, maybe you’re creepy. Just think on that.
But the part where she says “you have to make it work by prioritizing it, and by falling in love really fast, without thinking too hard”? Oh, honey. That’s why she falls in love so much, isn’t it? Because she meets a guy and likes his sweater or whatever, and she decides “boom, in love now!” And that’s why she has so many songs about heartache. Because she’s mentally 12 years old.
It’s been fun dissecting her quote, hasn’t it? Should we do this more often? Should we all send Taylor Swift thoughtful emails about why she’s really a creepy creeper? Let’s think on that.
Oh, she also said that her house is “a whole Peter Pan, Alice in Wonderland structure,” because “it’s what the inside of my brain looks like.” No, for real.
October 12, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily
I’ll just show you her words first, all right? Then when we’re finished reading, we can all have a good laugh. Sound good?
Why does Taylor Swift avoid Google?
Because she would risk clicking on rumors like this one: that she so missed her 18-year-old boyfriend Conor Kennedy that she “kidnapped” him from his high school and flew him to Nashville on her private jet.
“How did I kidnap him?” Swift, 22, exclaims to Rolling Stone when told about the rumor du jour. “You can’t kidnap a grown man! These are serious accusations, now!”
Laughing, she adds: “It’s an interesting way to spin something into a story. … See, this is why I don’t read stuff.”
As for a more documented report – Kathie Lee Gifford confirming she witnessed Swift and Conor crash a Kennedy family wedding – the singer responds: “I have no idea what happened there.”
“I think that story was based on the biggest misunderstanding, ’cause I would never knowingly show up somewhere that I thought I wasn’t invited to,” she tells the magazine. “And I would never want to upstage anybody.”
Oh my god, I can’t. “You can’t kidnap a grown man,” honestly. He might be 18, but he’s a junior in high school. And no, I don’t know how that works, but I do know that school was in session when she took him to Nashville, and that seems a little shady. But then again, this whole situation seems shady, doesn’t it? Maybe that’s why she allegedly moved on to Patrick Schwarzenegger, so she could say that she was dating a high school graduate.
Never change, Taylor Swift.
October 11, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily
From Radar Online:
… Taylor secretly made out with Patrick [Schwarzenegger] at a family event she attended with Conor, and the family is up in arms over it, calling her a “hanger-on” who has an obsession with the Kennedys.
“Taylor was making out with Patrick all night … The previous day, she was all over Conor, so she hooked up with two cousins on consecutive nights! Taylor and Patrick weren’t kissing out in the open, but she wasn’t being as subtle as she thought she was. Conor doesn’t know, but everyone else in the family does.”
While Taylor adores Caroline and Ethel Kennedy, the insider says they don’t care for the singer.
“They think she’s a hanger-on and find her obsession with the Kennedy cousins disconcerting,” the source said. “Taylor lost the respect of everyone in the family. They despise her and don’t want her anywhere near Conor or Patrick.”
Wait a second. So Conor is Patrick Schwarzenegger’s cousin? How did I miss that? Is Taylor Swift really that obsessive-demented that she thought it would be OK to move from Patrick to Conor in a matter of weeks? Has she really worked her way through all of the Hollywood men who’d dare to hook up with her, only to move on from one family member to another? Ugh, this girl.
October 10, 2012 at 11:30 am by Sarah
Ok, I’ll ease up on all the Taylor Swift stuff after this, I promise. But I wasn’t about to just let a new song of hers go by without sharing it with you guys. That would just be silly.
This song, as you already know, is called “I Knew You Were Trouble,” and it’s probably one of the top five most annoying songs I’ve ever heard. I listened to the whole thing because I’m dedicated, but about halfway through the first verse I started sighing and squirming and rolling my eyes. This song made me physically uncomfortable, that’s how annoying it is.
And this one’s definitely about John Mayer, right? We don’t need to debate that? It has all the same themes as “Dear John,” but with more irritating music. Because that’s exactly what this world needs: a more irritating Taylor Swift.
October 9, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily
So probably I’m going to have to get Taylor Swift‘s new album when it comes out in just two short weeks. Not because I love the music or anything, because I really don’t, but just because I love ragging on her so much, and I feel like it would be a real shame to let all this new material just pass me by.
Like, ok, we’ve already heard “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” and that was a lot of fun, right? We got to guess who the song was about, because, as we all know, Taylor is incapable of writing a song that’s not about a boy, usually a boy that’s done her wrong. And then we got to hear “Red,” which was all about how Taylor Swift has a rainbow of emotions inside of her heart. But guys, there’s a lot more songs! And I’m going to show you the official tracklist:
1. State Of Grace
4. I Knew You Were Trouble.
5. All Too Well
7. I Almost Do
8. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
9. Stay Stay Stay
10. The Last Time
11. Holy Ground
12. Sad Beautiful Tragic
13. The Lucky One
14. Everything Has Changed
16. Begin Again
“Treacherous”? “I Knew You Were Trouble”? “Sad Beautiful Tragic”? These are all titles of songs that I wrote for my Taylor Swift parody band! This is such bullshit!
Nah, you know I’m pumped. And hey, that very last song, “Begin Again,” is one of the bonus tracks. What do you think the chances are that that one’s about Conor Kennedy, and she threw it on there at the very last minute to make him feel better about the fact that she has an entire album of songs dedicated to John Mayer and Jake Gyllenhaal?