So here at Evil Beet we’ve got some more fun stuff in the works for you guys. I know a lot of you are all like, ‘Bitch, don’t be tellin’ me to do stuff’ when you see the commanding ‘CAPTION THIS’ on select postings, so we’ve decided to be super awesome, and in return for your acerbic wit, we’re going to be giving stuff away.
Starting somewhere around April 1st, weekly ‘Caption This’ articles will run and you guys will get some kind-of-awesome Evil Beet-themed stuff shipped right to your door if you’re the funniest. We’ll draw a winner weekly and if your caption is the most amusing, it’ll pays off.
March 14, 2011 at 7:30 am by Sarah
I don’t know about you guys, but I am SO CRAZY IMPRESSED OVER THE FACT that Taylor Momsen is THIS HARDCORE. I mean, she FUCKS FOR SATAN, ffs. She wears GARTER BELTS as PANTS. She fronts a BAND called The Pretty RECKLESS and WALKS HER TINY, RAT-ASS DOG in PUBLIC, for ALL THE WORLD to see.
She MAKES ME TYPE IN ALL CAPS and THAT, my friends?
Is the be-all, end-all of HARDCORE.
March 3, 2011 at 10:30 am by Sarah
Taylor Momsen wore this charming top with the declaration “I FUCK FOR SATAN” scrawled across it to a The Pretty Reckless gig in Toronto over the weekend. I’m surprised she’s not above wearing a statement tee, to be honest. I thought the whole, “I partake in sexual activity with the devil” was like, assumed at this point.
Ugh. I used to defend this girl. Now I just wish someone will take away her copy of The Runaways and give her a bath.
February 28, 2011 at 1:00 pm by Molls
So ever since Taylor Momsen was kicked to the curb by Madonna for being too risque, and therefore, too much of a risk, Kelly Osbourne has been chosen to run as the face of Madonna’s Macy’s clothing line, Material Girl.
So now, instead of chasing after Taylor and her people with a scrub brush and some sanitizer, Madonna’s people are going to be chasing Kelly around with a measuring tape and Wheat Thins. I guess it’s the lesser of two evils, right?
Really though, joking aside, Kelly looks great and I’m SO glad to see how increasingly healthy she’s become over the past few years. She’s gorgeous, looks happy, and above all, doesn’t have that drug-and-food-induced pallor of shame and self-abuse that she used to carry around with her wherever she went. Anyone’s better than Taylor Momsen as the spokesperson for practically anything (aside from something like a gonorrhea prevention PSA), and who better to replace her with than someone who’s actually been on the road to recovery – not so much that entertaining-but-sad one known as ‘inevitable destruction‘?
February 24, 2011 at 9:00 am by Sarah
Our beautiful little flower Taylor Momsen just did the Korean version of Nylon Magazine (did you know there’s a Korean Nylon? Me neither.) and I’m so thrilled that this is probably what our Asian pals think American teens are like. Of course there’s absolutely no one more classy or qualified to represent the teenage masses. Taylor’s given us endless evidence that she’s a role model and a shining example of what an underage lady should be.
Kudos, Taylor! Kudos!
February 19, 2011 at 10:00 am by Molls
So this? Is what Taylor Momsen wore to the premiere of Justin Bieber’s Never Say Never movie that was held the other night.
I don’t exactly know what type of fashion statement girlfriend was trying to make, ’cause I was too busy staring at her pale, flaccid Marilyn Manson-like ass, but hey. I guess everyone’s got to get their attention somehow or another, right? It’s just a shame that a girl with such potential (you guys remember that fucking stellar performance as Cindy Lou Who in the big-screen rendition of How the Grinch Stole Christmas – bah, breathtaking) would result to wearing something that so closely resembles assless chaps to a premiere with peers of her own age group.
Hard to believe, I know.