Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Saved By The Bell Is Amazing

Harry Potter’s Ass

Um, so, I think this kid’s 17, so I may actually be trafficking in kiddie porn here. If that’s the case, um — authorities? — if you could just kindly alert me I will...

More Screech Drama

If you can believe it, it turns out Dustin Diamond (aka Screech) is every bit the classy gentleman that his Dirty-Sanchezed sex tape would make him out to be. Diamond, who is currently...

Screech Sex Tape: The Review

Evil T and I are not especially skilled in the fine art of film review, and Spiteful Lars prefers his pornography to involve Kevin Federline, so we left it up to those lovable pervs over at...

Link Me Hard

They are remaking Dirty Dancing, and Mario Lopez is on the short list of celebs to star in the Patrick Swayze role, and still I wait, patient and hopeful, for my Lark Voorhies comeback...

SNL is Really Just Sad Now

I don’t even know who the “comedian” is playing Screech in this Weekend Update bit on the Screech sex tape, but nothing about it is right. Not even the costume. How hard...

Clips from the Screech Sex Tape!

Watch it here! A lovely quote from Screech himself: “If you freeze-frame right at the blue jelly double-cock, um, I believe there’s poop on the end of it…I can’t...

Box-Office Hits for Your Weekend

Just a few random clips I thought I’d leave for anyone who swings by this weekend. Remember when Jessie Spano was abusing caffeine pills? Yes, you do. You reminisce about it at least...

Closing Time

It’s a slow news day. The things you might care about, before the week ends: Lou Diamond Phillips arrested for some good old-fashioned wife-beating. People epithets him as “Law...