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Sandra Bullock

7Caption This: This Week’s Photo

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Hello, beeters! It’s that time again – a new photo, a new chance to caption for some awesome Evil Beet prizes. Remember, the only sure thing about luck is that it will change! Therefore, take a look at the photo above and give us your funniest, most unique captions below, then check back next week to find out if you’ve won.

As for last week’s Mike Tyson photo, here’s the winner below:

Winner: Jocelyn with “When you hold Mike Tyson to your ear, you can hear the WINNING!”

Runners-up: nicole peach with “You is ear-isistable, Chuckles my man!”

xyz with “Still hungry after all these ears”

So come on guys, get captioning on this week’s photo!

April 23, 2013 at 10:10 am by Jennifer

13Who Is The Highest Paid Actress in Hollywood?

A photo of Meryl Streep

Oh, you guys, I’m sorry. When I asked the question of “who is the highest paid actress in Hollywood?” and then put a picture of Meryl Streep right up there at the top, that made it look like Meryl is the highest paid actress, didn’t it? I’m sorry, but it’s just not true. Meryl is on the list, but she’s not at the top. She deserves to be at the top, but she’s not.

Before I let you know the richiest rich lady in Hollywood, let me just show you the top ten list, all right? I’ll go ahead and tack on the amount of money they made in the past year, just so you can cry while you balance your checkbook like I do.

10. Jennifer Aniston – $11 million
9. Kristen Wiig – $12 million
8. Meryl Streep – $12 million
7. Sarah Jessica Parker – $15 million
6. Julia Roberts – $16 million
5. Charlize Theron – $18 million
4. Angelina Jolie – $20 million
3. Sandra Bullock – $25 million
2. Cameron Diaz – $34 million

Ok, but who do you think landed in the number one spot? Who do you think made nearly three times as much as the beloved Meryl Streep? Who do you think made a few million dollars more than Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston combined?

A photo of Kristen Stewart

1. Kristen Stewart – $34.5 million

Yes, thanks to them Twilight movies and Snow White and the Huntsman, Kristen Stewart is the top-earning actress in all of Hollywood. Does anyone else feel physically ill?

June 21, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily

2So, Here’s the Best Trailer of the Best Movie of the Year

I double-dog dare you to watch this trailer and not get goosebumps or even choke up a little bit at least once. I’m really not exaggerating, either, when I say that this is probably going to be the best mainstream movie of the year, and the fact that the trailer features my absolute favorite U2 song and the feature itself stars my absolute favorite actor, only reinforces my surety that this is going to be a box office hit. I’ve got a good feeling about this film, friends, so spread the word. I mean, how can you not, especially after seeing this adorable little kid playing such a huge role, too?

September 29, 2011 at 11:30 am by Sarah

1Love It or Leave It: Sandra Bullock Does the Short Hair Thing

photo of sandra bullock in a wig short hair pictures photos pics

Lookie, it’s Sandra Bullock on the set of a new movie!

Sandra dons a short, brunette wig, and in my opinion TOTALLY ROCKS IT. She’s one of those super lucky women who can pretty much do anything to her hair, face, or clothing, and she still looks amazing no matter how generally putrid it is.

I cut off all of my hair about eighteen months ago. Like, seriously. All of it. I had long, flowing hair halfway down my back and decided to go ape-shit and hack it all off. I ended up cutting off about nineteen inches in total and wound up with two-inch-long hair. I really loved it, and I thought it looked pretty OK on me, but the growing out process? WAS A BITCH. I looked like an utter FOOL for the better part of nine months until I could get some semblance of an actual hairstyle, and I’d often think of how lucky some actresses were that they could look totally awesome in pretty much anything.

Sandra could definitely pull off the weird in-between, though – I have positively no doubts.

Love it? Leave it?

June 10, 2011 at 10:30 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Sandra bullock

8Jesse James Slams Sandra Bullock, Says She Isn’t a Great Lay

photo of kat von d and jesse james pictures photos engaged

Oh man, of all the low, dirty, fucked up things a butt-hurt douchebag like Jesse James could do, he’s done the low of the low: on a live Howard Stern interview, after being asked about his affair with multiple skanky women, James compared his current chick (Kat Von D) with his ex-wife, Sandra Bullock and claimed that while Kat Von D was superb in the sack, Bullock left a lot to be desired. According to Radar Online:

In a raunchy appearance on Howard Stern’s Sirius satellite show today, James gave a thumbs up to fiancée Kat Von D for her prowess in the sack. He then alluded that Sandra Bullock lacks talent in dancing the horizontal manbo.”That one is an easy no-brainer,” Stern said after wondering who’s better. “Kat Von D. One hundred percent,” James replied. “She’s a vixen. If she cheated on me, I would forgive her and still love her.”

Jesse also sort of claims that the whole cheating thing went on for much longer than everyone originally thought:

“She could stand there in front of the world and say she loved me, but in my mind I was thinking, ‘Yeah? Bullshit. You don’t love me. I’m just some biker kid,’” he confessed, adding that he began straying from the Blind Side star two years after their 2005 wedding.

So there you have it, folks. Just in case there was a remote shred of respect that you might have had for Jesse James (for whatever stupid fucking reason your brain might have rationalized), it should probably go out the window, along with your stupid Monster Garage paraphernalia.

May 5, 2011 at 10:30 am by Sarah

1Quotables: Jesse James Outs ‘Sandy’ Bullocks Affair Response in New Book

photo of jesse james and sandra bullock in happier times pictures photos

“I admitted the affair. I told her the hard details. I let her know that I had never loved this woman, that I had never cared for her at all. The feeling of shame and sadness that washed over me as Sandy began to cry was almost beyond measure … I didn’t touch her. I sat frozen in my chair, watching, as Sandy’s small body shook with sobs. From there, Sandra rose to her feet. She unfolded her sunglasses and put them on her face … She walked steadily and purposefully to the front of the shop, opened the heavy, metal door. For a moment, the sunlight enveloped her. The door closed behind her, and she was gone.”

Ugh. Told you this guy was a twat. Way to embellish and sensationalize what was probably one of the lowest moments in another person’s life in a FUCKING TELL-ALL BOOK. Then again, if I were married to Jesse James for some reason or another, it might be the happiest moment of my life, because then I wouldn’t have to pay the douchebag alimony.

Whatever, Jesse. Go back to your grease-monkey girlfriend and get fucked.

May 4, 2011 at 10:30 am by Sarah
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