4Jesse James Tries to Get Back in Sandra Bullock’s Good Graces by Talking Up Her Superb Mommy Abilities

I’m so over this guy. Yeah, and I totally expect half of you to be all like, “So why are you giving him more press, huh? Why?” Why? ‘Cause it’s my job. And there are probably some of you out there that aren’t sick of hearing about him, so I’m catering to that demographic. Besides, some feel that James is just starting to get fun, and by “fun,” I mean that he’s putting himself out there emotionally and allowing the press to take their digs at him. So yeah. “Fun.”

James speaks out to ABC’s Nightline last night in an interview regarding the fallout after skanking around on America’s Sweetheart, Sandra Bullock. He claims that though he was allowing his manic penis to take shots at every cheap-looking girl on the West Coast, the adoption of Louis Bardot Bullock brought him and his estranged wife closer together:

“I found a new trust for her, like I knew she wasn’t going to leave, and our relationship blossomed.”

So he was, what, worried that Bullock’s amazing star power was going to eclipse over their marriage and she was going to leave him for another (better) option? And so he cheated on her because he was vulnerable and worried that she was going to leave him? I guess that totally makes sense, in a not-making-sense-at-all kind of way, you know?

James also states that motherhood came as natural to Bullock as obnoxious tattoos come as a turn-on to him:

“She is like a fish to water. … As soon as she put that baby into her hands, it was automatic and amazing …
To see her in the role as mother is, like, one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen.”

And you’re, like, one of the most amazing tools I’ve ever had the luck to never meet, Jesse. Keep on with your sadboy stories and go back to being a philandering, glorified grease monkey.

May 25, 2010 at 8:45 am by Sarah

36Must…Resist…Temptation…To Pity… Jesse…James

Everyone’s talking about this Jesse James Nightline interview that’s supposed to air on Monday night and ugh, it’s not looking good for those of us who want to keep hating him. Perhaps his act will be as transparent as Tiger’s, but the soundbites that are being released by ABC are kind of heartbreaking.

In the interview Jesse calls himself “the most hated man in the world” and says that he knows he “took a pretty amazing life and amazing success and marriage … and threw it away by [his] own hands.” He also got so worked up that at one moment during the interview he starts to cry and asks to take a break.

I’ve got a softspot for that meathead somewhere, and while my desire is to keep hating him for what he did, I know that I can be broken. Sure, I won’t forgive him for what he did, but it’s like taking back an ex-boyfriend who used to be a cokehead or something. Part of you’s like, “he’s a sick man and I shouldn’t turn my back on him.” Ugh.

May 21, 2010 at 2:43 pm by Molls

2Sandra Bullock Must Be Thanking God That No One Listens To That Whore Her Husband Used To Be Married To

Sandra Bullock recently shocked the world by announcing that she had secretly adopted a baby boy from New Orleans, but if anyone listened to Jesse James’ ex-wife Janine Lindemulder, it wouldn’t have been much of a secret.

According to a statement that Janine made to Life & Style shortly after Sandy and Jesse adopted their baby boy in December of 2009, Jesse’s daughter Sunny accidentally told her mom about her father and step-mom’s new bundle of joy… and then Janine repeated whatever she knew right to the press:

“Sunny was on the phone and Sandra was right there trying to listen to what was being talked about. Sunny started to tell me she was really excited because somebody in the family was possibly pregnant. Then all of a sudden, the phone went silent. Sunny finally got back on the phone and said, ‘Oh, I can’t talk about that. That’s my secret with Sandy.’ I was upset, because you tell kids to please don’t keep secrets from your parents.”

There’s a host of reasons why Janine should be kept on a short leash when it comes to her interactions with her daughter, but the safety of her ex-husband and Sandy’s baby is definitely the best reason I can think of. However, Janine is willing to admit that her daughter has been in good hands with Sandy:

“Sandra’s organized and focused. She packs perfect lunches. She thinks of every little detail from sunblock to sanitary wipes and the perfect amounts of food. I can’t compete. If I could wish any stepmom for my daughter, it would be Sandra…She’s done a wonderful job with Sunny.”

With Jesse out of Sandy’s life, I’m sure that this toxic pornstar is more or less out of her life, too. Sandra has said that she intends to keep up a relationship with Sunny and Jesse’s other two children, so who knows how much longer Janine will be able to make statements about the state of her and her children’s lives. Let’s just hope there are no more secrets of this nature that need covering up for quite some time.

May 8, 2010 at 12:55 pm by Molls

33Michelle “Bombshell” McGee is Just as Stupid and Gross as You’d Think She’d Be

Jesse James #1 skank did an interview with Howard Stern yesterday and confirmed what everyone thought to begin with: James was not hooking up with this woman for her shining personality and witty intellect. And clearly, not for her stellar physique, either, so I don’t know what the fuck to think. I’m just positively baffled.

Anyway, McGee sat for the lurid talk radio host yesterday and answered all of the questions about sex with the Vanilla Gorilla that you were just dying to know:

On Sandra Bullock:

“I feel bad for her, I do… [But] They slept with 9 dogs in the bed … she liked to sleep with all the dogs in the bed.”

On what Bombshell “knew” about Jesse’s marriage:

“We watched her on TV one time,” she said. “[James] said they were separated, so I believed him.”

On why she fucked a married man:

“Boredom… Had nothing better to do. It was a sexual thing… I also wished it was a relationship — but I wasn’t in love with him. I was like, ‘Let’s go do something! Let’s go get food!’ He was always like ‘Shh!..Can’t go out in public, just be patient, just give it time, stuff like that.’”

On the frequency of their gross sex:

“Two to three, four times a night, two times a week,” often on James’ coffin-shaped couch [at his shop].”

On the sex itself:

“Yeah, it wasn’t excellent.”

On never dating black men:

“I’ve dated other races, just not a black guy. I’m not against it. I make a horrible racist Nazi. I have too many colored friends.”

On the skinny of whether or not James is a white supremacist:

“No, not very white supremacist. No. No, more like white pride stuff.”

So, yeah, let’s recap. McGee’s obviously an attention-seeking sex “addict” with no remorse for helping to break up a marriage. She’s got white supremacist ties and pretends it’s “white pride,” however the fuck different that’s supposed to be. Bombshell has no shame in talking about her sex life and continues to do so even though people only want to hear the details because it’s like watching the aftermath of a car accident. You can barely tear your eyes away, but not in a good way — in a way that you know is going to haunt you for the rest of your life.

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go take a hot bleach shower and try to scrub the chum from my eyes and brain that Bombshell’s comments have left imprinted on my soul. I’m definitely going to hell now.

May 6, 2010 at 8:57 am by Sarah

52Sandra Bullock Files For Divorce, Adopts Baby Boy

Well, I totally saw her divorce coming, but the newborn baby adoption has definitely got me kind of thrown, for real.

According to an exclusive interview with People, Sandra claims that she adopted her new baby boy, Louis, a New Orleans native, about three months ago. The process was started over four years ago and Bullock was finally able to bring him home this past January. Sandra states that the child was named after the other Louis that happened to be a New Orleans native — Louis Armstrong.

This is the first interview Bullock has sat for since news broke about her husband’s wandering eye weeks ago. She also confirms that she has filed for divorce. During the interview, the topic that’s been on everyone’s minds since James was photographed in Nazi garb emerged — Did Sandra know anything at all about his sordid obsession with Hitler and his army? Bullock states that she absolutely had no idea:

“The photo shocked me and made me sad. This is not the man I married. This was stupid, this was ignorant. Racism, anti-Semitism, sexism, homophobia, anything Nazi and a boatload of other things have no place in my life.

Sandra states that she has all intentions of raising her new son, Louis, as a single parent.

Good luck, girl, and really … you’ve given me even more of a reason to think that you have a stellar character.

April 28, 2010 at 8:32 am by Sarah

15Even Jesse James’ Dad Thinks His Son is a Nazi-Lovin’ Freak

Jesse James has been released from rehab and has been set out upon the world to resurrect his, uh, “image,” and he’s doing it sans wedding ring.

Anyway, Huntington Beach was a pretty big place for drama to go down yesterday, what with Jesse’s epic return home and Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson’s fight that resulted in Ortiz’s arrest. James arrived at his formerly-shared with Sandra Bullock home yesterday on the back of one of his hawgs.

However, while Jesse’s so obviously trying to rectify his mistakes (ha), his father had some less-than-productive comments on James’ embellished past and fascination with all-things-Nazi. According to James’ father, the Nazi obsession “… started at an early age. [He] liked their war machine, he liked their uniforms, he liked their guns, he liked everything about them.” The elder James admits that he bought books for Jesse on the war, and said that he had a friend “that was a Nazi, that [Larry James] used to do antique shows with.”

According to Jesse’s supposedly-troubled upbringing, Larry James claims that his son is full of it. Larry claimed that his violent and hard-knock past had no truth to it whatsoever; James “had one incident with the law… he did 26 days in juvenile hall [for] stealing some film out of a photomat.”

Jesse and his father, Larry, have been estranged for over six years due to un-publicized reasons. Larry even admits to never having met his son’s wife, Sandra Bullock.

Sucks for you Jesse, that after all of the nailing around you did behind Sandra Bullock’s back that each and every person you might have considered “close” at one point is coming back to hammer those last nails into your coffin, am I right?

April 27, 2010 at 7:50 am by Sarah