I’m not one to celebrate another’s misfortune (not that, you know, DUIs are a mere “misfortune”; it’s not as if she woke from a sleepless dream to say “Oops! OMG! I’m drunk and I’m driving! My bad!”) but being that I like(d) Lindsay a whole lot more than I like(d) Sam during their relationship, I am positively reveling in this news. Sam, though she seemed to try to help Lindsay on the path to sobriety during points in their relationship, always appeared very judgmental and holier-than-thou. “I’m Sam Ronson – look at my heroin arms and cancer patient haircut. I am one painfully sober bitch and I’m letting you know that I just barely tolerate you.” You know?
Also, Sam didn’t just get a DUI – she got a RECKLESS DUI. The reason she was pulled over to begin with was because she was speeding. It all went down somewhere outside of Las Vegas, where she’d been playing a show the previous night. She was pulled over at 10:30 the following morning with a BAC of .08.
Way to go, Sam. Hypocriticism looks super on you, girl.
August 2, 2011 at 5:30 am by Sarah
I know a lot of you probably thought, ‘Damn, if this is what happens when you set up camp on the sidewalk of a busy metropolitan area, I’m going to do my hipster brooding elsewhere,’ you’re wrong – Samantha Ronson was not hit BY a bicycle, she was ON a bicycle that biffed.
Sam claims that while riding her BMX, she swerved to avoid an oncoming car and took her face out instead. She posted this photo on her Twitter along with the caption “Wear a helmet kids!!! Let this be a lesson… if you have a driver’s license you probably don’t need to be on a bmx bike.”
Speedy recoveries to Ronson, who ended up with something like nine stitches in her grill. … Damn, baby.
April 12, 2011 at 11:30 am by Sarah
But I still can’t see why hanging out on the sidewalk, rolling around like you’re on a feather bed at a Los Angeles hotel is now the cool thing to do, according to record-spinning hipster DJs.
Samantha Ronson, who had supposedly reconciled with Lindsay Lohan over the past few months, was spotted making out with a much-hotter-than-Lindsay girl, whom she had spent hours of time with on a sidewalk in LA (I know, I still can’t get past the sidewalk thing – my knees are sore just thinking about it). The new friends were then photographed getting passionate in Sam’s car later the same day.
The girl is Tiffany Russo, a yoga instructor, and Lindsay not only claims to be ‘friends’ with the girl, but also left Sam’s house late Monday night with a teddy bear that says ‘I love you.’ (To Sam’s credit, Lindsay probably bought the damned stupid bear herself, because not only could I NOT see Ronson being apologetic for making out with a hot chick, I could ALSO not see her walking into CVS and buying that sappy-assed shit.)
Maybe this is one of the (myriad) reasons behind Lindsay’s current downward spiral. I mean, wouldn’t you be devastated as fuck too, if your lover chose to suck face with someone who DIDN’T look like a walking bag of infectious smashed ass?
March 30, 2011 at 7:30 am by Sarah
Isn’t that sweet? Isn’t that just the sort of thing Lindsay needs right now? Amidst all her woes, legal and otherwise, this is exactly what Lindsay should be concerning herself with. Let me outline Lindsay’s evening for you, and then you can tell me how much you agree.
-At approximately 1:45 last night, Lindsay rolled into a club, the same club that Sam Ronson was visiting. Total coincidence.
-The ladies hung out for 45 minutes, Lindsay surely did not consume any alcohol whatsoever, and then they left together (see the above photo).
-Around 6:00 AM, Sam tweeted the following:
I can believe that exes can be friends. I’ll take that. But can exes hang out at a nightclub, go home together, and sleep in the same bed platonically?
Image courtesy of TMZ
February 18, 2011 at 11:30 am by Emily
Um, yup, according to X17, this is supposed to be the truth and the gals are already vacationing together. Remember when we claimed that Christina’s main reason behind splitting with Jordan Bratman was because she liked hooking up with other women on the not-so-sly? Turns out Samantha Ronson was one of those women.
From a source inside X17:
Ever since Samantha went to Cabo with Xtina, “the two have been inseparable,” says our source. “I’ve seen them hanging out together. Christina Aguilera really lets down her guard around Sam. They’re very comfortable with each other.”
The pop star was even seen leaving Sam’s place late at night earlier this week AND she stopped by The Roxy on Sunday to see her new favorite DJ spin.
Also, Samantha, who never appeared to be all that happy with ex-girlfriend Lindsay, is said to be happier than ever because Christina’s pretty low-key and drama-free:
“Our source also reveals that the twosome’s relationship is nothing like the one Samantha had with Lindsay Lohan. “Their relationship is different because Christina doesn’t create the kind of drama that Lindsay did.”
So what do you guys think? I mean, totally put aside the fact that Christina would probably never mess with someone who was up close and personal with Lindsay Lohan’s spotty vagina. Believable?
October 19, 2010 at 7:26 am by Sarah
So on Friday, Joan Rivers took to her Twitter account to let people know her feelings on Lindsay Lohan’s current situation:
Lindsay Lohan said she wouldn’t mind being under oath because she thought Oath was a Norwegian ski instructor.
Lindsay Lohan is so dumb. Her idea of being sworn in is cursing at the judge.
I was just reading about the new Lindsay Lohan diet, which is all liquid. 80 Proof.
Lindsay Lohan had “Fuck You” painted on her nails. What people don’t know is that the judge had “Eat me you party skank,” painted on hers.
Well, Lindsay’s awesome former girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, did not take too kindly to those words, so she told Joan about it:
Hey Joan Rivers- you have collagen older than Lindsay, pick on someone your own age, oh wait, I guess people that old can’t hear. #bully
It looks to me like Samantha totally won that little Twitter battle, because Joan didn’t respond to that. Lindsay did though – with a retweet, a “thank you,” and a winky face. A beautiful ending to such a remarkable tale of courage.