Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Samantha Ronson

Samantha Ronson Almost Bit It in a Pretty Bad Biking Accident

photo of samantha ronson bike bicycle accident stitches twitter photos pictures

I know a lot of you probably thought, ‘Damn, if this is what happens when you set up camp on the sidewalk of a busy metropolitan area, I’m going to do my hipster brooding elsewhere,’ you’re wrong – Samantha Ronson was not hit BY a bicycle, she was ON a bicycle that biffed.

Sam claims that while riding her BMX, she swerved to avoid an oncoming car and took her face out instead. She posted this photo on her Twitter along with the caption “Wear a helmet kids!!! Let this be a lesson… if you have a driver’s license you probably don’t need to be on a bmx bike.”

Speedy recoveries to Ronson, who ended up with something like nine stitches in her grill. … Damn, baby.

Sam Ronson Was Caught Hooking Up With a Chick That’s Not Lindsay

photo of samantha ronson kissing a new girl pictures

But I still can’t see why hanging out on the sidewalk, rolling around like you’re on a feather bed at a Los Angeles hotel is now the cool thing to do, according to record-spinning hipster DJs.

Samantha Ronson, who had supposedly reconciled with Lindsay Lohan over the past few months, was spotted making out with a much-hotter-than-Lindsay girl, whom she had spent hours of time with on a sidewalk in LA (I know, I still can’t get past the sidewalk thing – my knees are sore just thinking about it). The new friends were then photographed getting passionate in Sam’s car later the same day.

The girl is Tiffany Russo, a yoga instructor, and Lindsay not only claims to be ‘friends’ with the girl, but also left Sam’s house late Monday night with a teddy bear that says ‘I love you.’ (To Sam’s credit, Lindsay probably bought the damned stupid bear herself, because not only could I NOT see Ronson being apologetic for making out with a hot chick, I could ALSO not see her walking into CVS and buying that sappy-assed shit.)

Maybe this is one of the (myriad) reasons behind Lindsay’s current downward spiral. I mean, wouldn’t you be devastated as fuck too, if your lover chose to suck face with someone who DIDN’T look like a walking bag of infectious smashed ass?

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson Had A Sleepover Last Night

A photo of Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson

Isn’t that sweet?  Isn’t that just the sort of thing Lindsay needs right now?  Amidst all her woes, legal and otherwise, this is exactly what Lindsay should be concerning herself with.  Let me outline Lindsay’s evening for you, and then you can tell me how much you agree.

-At approximately 1:45 last night, Lindsay rolled into a club, the same club that Sam Ronson was visiting.  Total coincidence.

-The ladies hung out for 45 minutes, Lindsay surely did not consume any alcohol whatsoever, and then they left together (see the above photo).

-Around 6:00 AM, Sam tweeted the following:

I can believe that exes can be friends.  I’ll take that.  But can exes hang out at a nightclub, go home together, and sleep in the same bed platonically?

Image courtesy of TMZ

X-Tina Broke Off Her Marriage to Date Samantha Ronson?

photo of christina aguilera buttcheeks hanging out pictures

Um, yup, according to X17, this is supposed to be the truth and the gals are already vacationing together. Remember when we claimed that Christina’s main reason behind splitting with Jordan Bratman was because she liked hooking up with other women on the not-so-sly? Turns out Samantha Ronson was one of those women.

From a source inside X17:

Ever since Samantha went to Cabo with Xtina, “the two have been inseparable,” says our source. “I’ve seen them hanging out together. Christina Aguilera really lets down her guard around Sam. They’re very comfortable with each other.”

The pop star was even seen leaving Sam’s place late at night earlier this week AND she stopped by The Roxy on Sunday to see her new favorite DJ spin.

Also, Samantha, who never appeared to be all that happy with ex-girlfriend Lindsay, is said to be happier than ever because Christina’s pretty low-key and drama-free:

“Our source also reveals that the twosome’s relationship is nothing like the one Samantha had with Lindsay Lohan. “Their relationship is different because Christina doesn’t create the kind of drama that Lindsay did.”

So what do you guys think? I mean, totally put aside the fact that Christina would probably never mess with someone who was up close and personal with Lindsay Lohan’s spotty vagina. Believable?

Samantha Ronson Shows Chivalry Via Twitter

So on Friday, Joan Rivers took to her Twitter account to let people know her feelings on Lindsay Lohan’s current situation:

Lindsay Lohan said she wouldn’t mind being under oath because she thought Oath was a Norwegian ski instructor.

Lindsay Lohan is so dumb. Her idea of being sworn in is cursing at the judge.

I was just reading about the new Lindsay Lohan diet, which is all liquid. 80 Proof.

Lindsay Lohan had “Fuck You” painted on her nails. What people don’t know is that the judge had “Eat me you party skank,” painted on hers.

Well, Lindsay’s awesome former girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, did not take too kindly to those words, so she told Joan about it:

Hey Joan Rivers- you have collagen older than Lindsay, pick on someone your own age, oh wait, I guess people that old can’t hear. #bully

It looks to me like Samantha totally won that little Twitter battle, because Joan didn’t respond to that.  Lindsay did though – with a retweet, a “thank you,” and a winky face.  A beautiful ending to such a remarkable tale of courage.

New Lindsay Lohan Song Leaked

Normally we don’t link to this site (or even read it), but you guys gotta hear Lindsay Lohan’s “leaked” song “Too Young To Die”.  The song, which seems to be about her ex Samantha Ronson, is particularly apropos considering so many people out there think that this girl will be the next celebrity who’s death we’re all obsessing over.

The song generally sucks, but it’s nice that she started a project and managed to finish it.

Ronson + Lohan = True Love 4-Eva?

photo of samantha ronson and lindsay lohan during better days

Oh, barf. Like, really. Barf.

If ever there were two people who should stay far, far from one another, it’s Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan. While I dig the two of them on their own (one a bit more than the other, naturally), combining their forces is like sticking a wet finger into a live light socket. Great idea, huh?

Yeah, that’s what I thought, too. (And I speak from experience … I’ve done it. We won’t talk about this again.)

At any rate, exclusive insiders at Betty Confidential claim that Sam and Lindsay are definitely back on and it’s all being attributed to Lindsay’s latest stint of sobriety:

… Now that Lindsay has to put down the bottle, Sam is having a change of heart.

“Sam still cares for Lindsay,” says our source, “and now that Lindsay is staying sober, Sam is proud of her and knows they can at least talk without getting into any fights.”

And not only are the two being civil toward one another (no nipple pinching or face-spitting or crotch stabbing), they actually talked for, like, hours the other night:

“They spent the night talking recently – all night long – and they are on their way to mending their broken relationship,” our source says. “It’s going to take more than one night of talking, but it’s a start. As long as Lindsay stays sober and healthy, Sam will be there for her through her sentencing.”

Great. I can just see how this one’s going to pan out. Lohan stays kinda-sober until her probation is up and Ronson (who, in a fit of renewed dedication to her on-again, off-again girlfriend, dyes her hair blonde to match her lady love’s over-processed, lackluster locks) sticks with it — and yes, by “it,” I do mean Lohan — until the very first post-freedom bender occurs. Then the fur’s just gonna fly. Cats within a thirty-mile radius will be running for cover and liquor stores are going to shut their doors, bolt their locks and board their windows. I’m betting that Lindsay and Sam last as long as this court-ordered sobriety does — and that’s not much longer than a fortnight as it were.