Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Rosie O'Donnell Is Fat

Open Letter to Rosie O’Donnell

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Dear Rosie,

Children who are conscripted into the armies of the world have no choice. They are drugged up, given weapons and threatened with their lives to fight for causes that they themselves don’t even really understand.

I have a book that you need to read. “A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier.” Hopefully after reading this you will be less flippant about showing pictures of your young child dressed like a child soldier.

Vivian Rose is a beautiful girl and she doesn’t deserve to be used for you to make a point. I don’t know if you have ever known anyone who has fought for this country or if you respect those who join our armed forces to defend America’s freedom but I would hazard a guess that you have not.

I understand that you are against the war in Iraq and the current administration. Being shocking and inflammatory doesn’t get people thinking it rather polarizes people. Protest smart Rosie. I always thought your little blog was amusing until now.

Think before you post and remember you are comedian not a social commentator. Leave that to those with college degrees.

EvilT

Barker Not Endorsing Rosie for “Price is Right” Replacement

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Bob Barker is quickly backtracking on his recent endorsement of Rosie O’Donnell as his replacement host on The Price is Right. It wasn’t an endorsement, says Bob: “I have not been asked for my opinion, nor have I expressed one. I think there are several candidates who could do the show, and Rosie is certainly one of them.” Barker further added that it would be “terribly presumptuous” of him to assume he would have any say in choosing the new host.

It may be a non-issue, as it appears Rosie is unwilling to travel regularly to the west coast for the show’s filming schedule, while her kids and partner Kelli remain on the east coast. Rosie will meet with execs from the show today in Hollywood to see if there’s any point in moving forward.

Rosie Cares About Babies

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Rosie isn’t going to bother Elizabeth anymore about current affairs. The left and right wingers usually spar over issues such as abortion, the war in Iraq and Georgie B. in general.

Rosie today decided to call a truce on her crazy blog since Elizabeth is preggers and she doesn’t want to upset the unborn fetus.

on the view
u have seen my last hasselbeck spat
2 day was it
no more – its done
there is a new life
there – inside
and in the end -
what else matters

Touching Rosie. Just touching.

Will Roseanne Replace Rosie on The View?

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That’s what the NY Post is reporting.

Roseanne’s rep denies the rumor, and Roseanne herself has said in the past that she’s not interested in hosting The View.

Insiders have also tossed out names like Joan Rivers, Kathy Griffin, Connie Chung and Whoopi Goldberg as possible replacements.

Further complicating matters is the fact that Rosie’s nemesis, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, is pregnant and will be taking a leave of absence from the show as her due date approaches.

Did Rosie Want Barbara Kicked Off The View?

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Just a few more months left of the Rosie/View insanity. I hope. (Please, God?) Lest we allow a non-story with such fun characters — Rosie! Barbara! Donald! — to flicker and die as it ought to, the New York Post has pulled out the defibrillator and somone’s yelling “Clear!” In today’s edition, they swear up and down that Rosie’s departure had nothing to do with ABC’s insistence on a three-year contract; rather, Rosie refused to stay on the daytime chat-fest unless its creator, Barbara Walters, was sent packing.

“They’re talking [publicly] about how they couldn’t come to terms … but … her leaving had nothing to do with that,” said an insider.

According to another ABC insider, “They really had hoped to re-sign her because without Rosie, they’re going to have a lot of trouble keeping up their ratings and filling two [co-host] slots.”

Agreed. Losing Rosie was about the silliest thing that show could have done — although, theoretically, she’ll still be on sporadically — you know, when there’s a narcissistic feud to engage in or if Kelly Ripa dares to chastise another human being for putting their hand on her face without her permission.

ABC, in theory, could have bought out Barbara’s share of the show and given her the boot, but their concerns about Rosie’s extreme behavior outweighed her contribution to ratings, say other insiders.

Says Rosie’s publicist: “That’s absolutely not true, it’s categorically false. People are making things up because they want to pit two powerful women against each other. Rosie just did not want to commit to three years.”

Rosie’s Greedy Farewell

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So Rosie isn’t leaving “The View” because of any on-set drama, controversy, or anything really exciting to write about. She is leaving because of money. I’m guessing they already pay her a lot to do her job so I’m a little peeved. I liked Rosie on “The View.” I think the show is going to be hard-pressed to find someone as news-worthy (or really gossip-worthy) as miss Rosie.

Here is here statement via ABC.

This has been an amazing experience, and one I wouldn’t have traded for the world. Working with Barbara, Joy and Elisabeth has been one of the highlights of my career, but my needs for the future just didn’t dovetail with what ABC was able to offer me. To all the viewers out there, I just want to say ‘thank you’ for opening up your hearts and your homes to me this past year. But you can always find me at rosie.com. Here’s hoping there’s more confetti for all of us going forward.

There are a lot of “we love Rosie” gushing from Barbra and the executives on ABC.com as well. They keep saying over and over again “we only thought she’d be with us one year.” Whatever.

Bring Back Lisa Ling!

Replacing Rosie

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I don’t watch The View, but even I can see replacing her entertainment value will be tough. Here are my suggestions on who should fill those giant shoes:

Tyra Banks
I don’t think anyone watches her current show and she could talk about how hard modeling is (with the walking and the posing).

Courteney Cox
See above but replace “modeling” with “David Arquette.”

Dakota Fanning
She’s had a long and illustrious career but it’s time for her to wind down. She’d bring a much needed intelligence and maturity to the proceedings.

Paris or Perez Hilton
One would say idiotic things constantly, ideally leading to Barbara Walters head spinning like a top. The other would lend diversity to a show which seems too focused on women’s issues.

Oh, that’s the point? My bad. Anyway, farewell Rosie. We’ll miss your bluster!