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Robert Pattinson

This Video Totally Proves That Kristen Stewart Never Cheated on Robert Pattinson

Thank goodness. I’m so glad that someone finally made a video of those photos of Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders with lots of lines and some weird thing about feet and circles around flowers and fences and all. I’m just like, why did no one do this earlier? If someone could have so easily proved that the love between Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson really is pure and unbreakable, then why are we just now seeing that?

I guess I shouldn’t be so suspicious after this kind person has fixed my entire soul with this superb video (and with the help of a Bowie song!), it’s just that we’ve all been so broken for the past couple of months, and it’s obviously been for no reason. It’s hard to forget all the pain that we’ve been through, but I suppose that now there’s nothing left to do but rebuild. So let’s start, friends. Together.

We’ll Have Seen the Breaking Dawn Part 2 in its Entirety After All These Teasers. Oh! And Blind Items, Revealed!

Look! It’s yet another teaser trailer for Breaking Dawn Part 2! And just in time for a blind item to be revealed—Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are said to be appearing at tomorrow night’s VMAs. Together. About that blind item, if you haven’t already heard about it, two stars who’ve been on the outs are allegedly in the process of reuniting, and while most of you guys who voiced your opinions on it are all in agreement that it’s got to be Chris Brown and Rihanna (uck), I’m still holding out hope for Kristen and Rob. Here’s part of the blind:

Despite the bad press, despite the criticism of fans, despite the ridicule that would be heaped upon them when they finally reunite in public together as a couple, they simply don’t care.

With the pair already sharing the same bed again, all bets hedge on them walking the red carpet together very, very soon…

Oh! Oh! And here’s what Monsters & Critics have to say about a possible Kristen-Rob reunion via MTV VMAs:

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart will both appear at the MTV Video Music Awards.

The ‘Twilight Saga’ co-stars and former off screen couple had been due to present an award together at the event at the Staples Center in Los Angeles on Thursday (06.09.12) but after Kristen cheated on Robert, their presence was put in doubt.

However, MTV VMA host Kevin Hart believes both will still attend in order to promote the final movie in the vampire series ‘The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2′.

He told BANG Showbiz: ‘From what I understand they’re both still gonna be here. I’m not really up to speed on the whole soap opera that’s been going on between them. I know they’ve got a movie to promote. ‘Twilight’s coming out so it makes sense for them to show up at the VMAs if you ask me.”

Guys. Guys! Wouldn’t it be romantic if they let the world know of their rekindled flame at the MTV VMAs? Because it would be so, so romantic. I would love this so hard.

Please, please God let this happen, and I’ll never ask for another thing in life again EVER.

Kristen Stewart Isn’t Invited to The Breaking Dawn Premiere

A photo of Kristen Stewart

Well, ok, this is a little more complicated than that, but I can’t really put the story in the headline, now can I? So let me break it down for you here: people really need to start planning the promotional tour for Breaking Dawn Part 2. At the moment, they’re holding off to see if Rob and Kristen can reconcile just in time for a lovely, happy ending of a movie premiere, but it really doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. And if they don’t make up soon, then Kristen’s going to be replaced. By Ashley Greene.

Ashley Greene, if you’ll recall, plays Alice, Edward’s wacky psychic sister. If things don’t shape up soon, she’ll be the one doing interviews with Robert Pattinson and walking the red carpet with Robert Pattinson and generally looking uncomfortable with Robert Pattinson. Because goodness knows we need a young attractive female front and center at all times.

But really, isn’t this kind of ridiculous? I get that they might want to keep Robert and Kristen separated: she would probably be a big sad pile of awkwardness and regret, and it would just be way too uncomfortable to see her try to interact with Rob and to see him try to deal with it. And I can even understand the idea of putting the spotlight more on Rob, since he’s the innocent heartbroken heartthrob here. But throwing Ashley Greene in the middle of all this? That’s just dumb. I’d much, much rather see Rob and Taylor Lautner walk the red carpet together, and it makes a whole lot more sense.

We always knew this whole Breaking Dawn premiere was going to be interesting, but if Ashley Greene is what makes it that way, then I don’t even want it anymore.

Robert Pattinson is Selling His Kristen Stewart Lovehouse

photo of robert pattinson house on the market pictures
So maybe there isn’t a reconciliation in the works, not if Robert Pattinson‘s up and selling the house that he and Kristen Stewart used to share. Unless, of course, he’s selling it to start fresh, and intends on purchasing yet another house with Kristen Stewart in the near future. hoping the same events that broke them up don’t occur again. I suppose it could probably be that, too, now that I think about it.

In any case, however, Us Weekly reports that Robert’s done with the memories tied to his former home, and he’s putting it up on the market:

An insider confirms to Us Weekly that Pattinson is “selling” the posh Los Feliz home in Los Angeles that Stewart moved into nearly a year ago. “He said there are too many memories,” says the insider of Pattinson, who had been dating Twilight costar Stewart for three years.

Although Stewart has been splitting her time with BFF Scout Taylor-Compton in Burbank, Calif. and with her parents in L.A.’s Woodland Hills nabe, she hasn’t yet officially moved out of the $6.3 million house, which Pattinson bought in September 2011. Once owned by ER star Noah Wylie, the abode is “on an acre and a half of land and has a 150-person screening room and amazing gardens,” according to a source.

The “source” also goes on to say that Robert and Kristen are on speaking terms, but neither are sure where the relationship is headed, though Robert is said to still love Kristen:

“Rob doesn’t hate her and he’s not mad . . . He just doesn’t get why she did it. He loves her and thinks about her constantly.”

Well that actually warms my heart. Because love, if that’s what it is, can overcome anything, right? If he’s seriously willing to forgive her and move on, then there shouldn’t be anything in Rob and Kristen’s way when it comes to relational bliss, right? Except, of course, for that pesky new STD Rob’s probably gone and got from boning that dirty bird, Rihanna. There’s always that.

Pretty intense eye for an eye, right?

Is Robert Pattinson About to Forgive Kristen Stewart?

photo of robert pattinson and kristen stewart in bed pictures photos
Well something off the hook is probably about to happen, since the rumor mill has headed into maximum overdrive, since Rob’s lately been “ogling Katy Perry’s boobs over intimate dinners,” “having torrid sex with Rihanna,” and now “meeting up with Kristen Stewart to begin the process of reconciliation.” I, like you, have no idea which of these three (if any) are actually true, but I’m hoping for the last one where Rob maybe forgives Kristen and starts vampire life anew, because that just seems to make the most sense to me.

Sources close to the estranged couple claim that there have recently been several phone conversations between Rob and Kristen, and Rob is allegedly about to put his heartbreak on the back burner in order to reconcile the couple’s broken relationship.

From the Times:

… Friends say he [Robert] now believes her [Kristen's] infidelity was just a “moment of stupidity” and he [sic] keen for a face-to-face meeting to try and repair their three-year relationship.

A source said: “They talked [on the phone] for about an hour – it was very emotional … Kristen begged to meet face-to-face so they could talk. It was obvious she was getting through to Rob and he has agreed to see her. Even though she made a horrendous mistake, Rob can’t just switch off his feelings. He was madly in love with her and I think believes that it was a moment of stupidity, not a long, drawn-out affair and it’d never happen again. In Rob’s eyes, Kristen was seduced and she’s clearly not just sorry but completely destroyed by what she’s done.”

However, if the Cosmopolis star does agree to making another go of their relationship, he wants to establish some “ground rules”.

The source continued to LOOK magazine: “If Rob decides to take her back, he’ll have some ground rules. Kristen would have to spend more time in his hometown of London. He also would want them to adopt the Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt way of working – where they take it in turns to do a film so they can be around for time together.”

Think it’s true? I, for one, hope so. They may not be the cleanest, most stable and established couple Hollywood, but I’m sorry. Robert taking Kristen back is just a way, way better alternative than even considering the possibility of Robert hooking up with Rihanna, Hollywood’s most unstable celebrity (aside from Lindsay Lohan, of course).

Wait. So Rihanna‘s Dating Robert Pattinson Now?

Now hang on just a damn minute, here. Didn’t we just decide that Robert Pattinson’s having sex with Katy Perry’s voluptuous midsection these days? Yeah, I think we did. So what’s this business about Rihanna hitting that? Or is it customary for Rihanna to make her rounds on all of the newly-single Hollywood actors who’ve been caught up in a cheating scandal?

In either case, who’d you rather Robert be hooking up with—Rihanna or Katy Perry?

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John Mayer’s Got Feathery Breakup Hair Because of Katy Perry and Robert Pattinson’s Moving in on That Sh-t

photo of john mayer hair cut pictures
(Pattinson’s moving on on Katy, that is, not John Mayer‘s feathery breakup hair. You know. To be clear.)

And I’m sorry, but there’s just something so inherently douchey about guys who feather their hair. It was douchey in the seventies, and it’s douchey now, and John Mayer being the poster child for douchey behavior only encourages the “douchey” label to be slapped right on the “feathered hair” trend. DOUCHEY.

I guess John doesn’t have to worry all that much, though, anyway—even though Katy was rumored to be reeling from the shock of being dropped like a hot potato by someone with hands that look like potatoes, reports are saying that Katy and the newly-single Robert Pattinson (who are friends, by the way) will probably be getting it on soon. If they haven’t already, that is:

Last night the two were spotted on a romantic candlelit dinner for two, but rather spending it slagging off their exes Kristen Stewart and John Mayer, the attention was very much on Katy’s boobies. Nice. A source told The Sun: “She wore a tight, sparkly top and Rob was looking at her breasts all night. He tried to avoid it when talking to her but as soon as she looked away to talk to someone else, Rob would sneak a peek.”

Hm. So maybe that’s why Kristen’s been all titty-titty-gung-ho with that fancy new push-up bra, because let’s be honest. If we’re comparing the boobs of Katy Perry to the boobs of Kristen Stewart, I think Katy Perry probably has it on lockdown, don’t you think? It’s like comparing apples to … well, to that wall over there.

See what you’ve done, John Mayer? Talk about stirring the pot. Damn.

Image courtesy of The Superficial