0Oprah Tops Forbes‘ Highest-Paid Celebrities List

… And interestingly enough, she’s the only woman in the Top 10. Others on the list are as follows:

#10 – Simon Cowell, $90 million
#9 – George Lucas, $90 million
#8 – James Patterson, $94 million
#7 – Howard Stern, $95 million
#6 – Tyler Perry, $105 million
#5 – Dr. Dre, $110 million
#4 – Jerry Bruckheimer, $115 million
#3 – Steven Spielberg, $130 million
#2 – Michael Bay, $160 million
#1 – Oprah Winfrey, $165 million

The monetary amounts are calculated by endorsements, profits, upfront pay and advertising work, and doesn’t even factor in whatever these people might be making off the books for … well, for whatever, really. When you’re making that kind of money, there’s lots of ways to fudge the numbers, I suppose.

When you’ve got it, you’ve got it, right? Damn.

August 28, 2012 at 11:30 am by Sarah

1Also, Oprah Is Going to Be on Keeping Up with the Kardashians

Do you remember when Oprah used to be a huge, huge deal? Everyone thought she was classy to the max, everyone read all the books that she liked to read, and people literally fell to their knees sobbing just from the grace of her presence. I’m sure we all remember this, but some of you might be thinking “but when did Oprah stop being such a huge deal?” Right now, friends. Right this moment.

From E! Online:

Can Oprah Winfrey keep up with the Kardashians?

She sure can! The former daytime queen turned OWN mogul will appear on an upcoming episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, E! News can confirm.

The Kardashians and Jenners (plus Lamar Odom andScott Disick, honorary K’s in our book) recently sat down with O for a two-part Oprah’s Next Chapter special on OWN.

Kim opened up about her relationship with Kanye West,Khloé spilled the secret to her and Lam Lam’s happy marriage, Kris Jenner chatted about the fine line between mother and manager and much more.

Time will tell what’s in store for Oprah—one thing’s for sure, we’re excited to have the mogul on E!

Would 1986 Oprah, fresh to the world of national television, have appeared on a show like Keeping Up with the Kardashians? What about 1993 Oprah, the Oprah who conducted an interview with Michael Jackson that turned out to be the most-watched in television history? Maybe 2005 Oprah would have been on a show like this. That’s the Oprah that let Tom Cruise act a fool and jump all over her couch, so I’d say there’s a possibility.

But listen, now that the mighty Oprah has been knocked down to Kardashian level, what do you think the chances are that she’ll take Snooki‘s place in the Jersey Shore house for a week or so this summer?

June 27, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Emily

1Kim Kardashian: “I Hate to Talk About Myself”

Oh wow. This is too rich, it really is. Last night the second part of Oprah‘s interview with the Kardashians aired, and Kim actually said that she hates to talk about herself. Goodness gracious, what a joke.

Let’s break down the interview and see if we can find any other gems, shall we?

- When Kim was asked about Kanye, she said that “I don’t know why it took us so long to get together. I think we’ve always had an attraction to each other…one day it just happened. It took me by surprise.” She also said that Kanye is what she’s looking for in a man, which is hilarious to me, but that she’s “apprehensive” to talk about the relationship.

- Apparently Oprah wanted to talk about Kanye for a while, because she also asked Kim if their relationship was a publicity stunt. Kim’s response? “No. It’s your heart you’re playing with. I couldn’t sacrifice my heart for a publicity stunt.”

- Also, we’re all so totally wrong about what Kim’s all about. She’s not some mindless spoiled brat, ok? “I hardly drink, I go to church on Sundays,” says Kim. “I’m so far removed from my image.”

- Then she said something kind of cryptic about marriage and Kanye: “I’m not thinking about marriage right now,” says Kim. “To have him (Kanye) in my life this way, says a lot about us.”

- But Kim, please, tell us how pretty you are! Oprah asked her if she knew that she was beautiful, which is when Kim said that she hates talking about herself because “I’m so critical.” Since you’re all on pins and needles, Kim admitted that she’s pretty, but she wouldn’t call herself beautiful.

- Khloe and Lamar got some time in with Oprah too, and Khloe told her that they’re “always trying” to get pregnant.

- Oprah asked Scott Disick an amazing question: what’s the hardest thing to watch in the shows? He responded with “I would probably just say maybe Kourtney crying, one, two, maybe a million times.” Good answer, now if he could work on not being a jackass.

- And does Bruce Jenner have any regrets? “The only thing, the whole (Kim and Kris) wedding thing,” says Bruce. “We went so overboard on that. And, the way it turned out and everything. … And, because I mean at the time it was honest, it was love, it was exact, I mean, I was all in, you know? But then it turned so quickly.”

Bless you, Oprah. Bless you for this.

June 25, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily

2In Today’s Non-News: Oprah Winfrey Isn’t Godmother to Blue Ivy

File it under “You Didn’t Hear It From Us”: numerous reports this week claimed that Oprah had been crowned godmother of Beyonce and Jay-Z‘s infant daughter, Blue Ivy Carter.

I am pleased to announce that you never read any such thing here at Evil Beet Gossip. But boy, if we had reported it, we’d be eating crow right about now.

Oprah’s bestie Gayle King sets the record straight (via Pop2it):

“It’s absolutely not true that she’s the godmother,” King said. “She’s friends with them, of course, and likes them both very much. She’s working on sending them a baby gift. She hasn’t even had time to send a baby gift because she’s been away.”

See? How could Oprah be the godmother when she hasn’t even sent a gift yet?

That baby better watch out when Oprah does send something, though. Kid’s sure to get fifteen cars and a rehabbed kitchen (you’ll find the keys taped to the underside of your high chair, honey).

King added, “Let me just say, if (that report is) true, it is news to her. It is news to her. You know, she was heading to South Africa when the baby was born.”

Don’t you get it, people? Oprah would make a great godmother, but Oprah is busy. Oprah is very happy about the new baby—Oprah loves babies!—but Oprah has much, much bigger fish to fry.

The entire article in a nutshell:

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January 28, 2012 at 9:30 am by Jenn

5Oprah, Running Away from Things

Check out this photo Oprah tweeted of herself last week (via Celebritology). More specifically, look at her face! Ha ha!

I’m not sure you can altogether make out what’s happening here, so let me just unpack it for you: Oprah is firewalking. (She looks like she’s pretty serious about getting from one end of that carpet of coals to the other, too.) Next to her, in the Madonna headset? That’s famed motivational speaker Tony Robbins, encouraging Oprah to walk harder. Man, I always knew there was something culty about leadership seminars; this just seals it.

Obviously, the photo has blown up on Buzzfeed, birthing an all-new Internet meme, “Oprah Running Away from Things.”

So I just thought I’d toss my hat in the ring and add a few new Photoshops, all while repurposing stories from the past couple days. It’s so topical! So now! Enjoy!

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November 8, 2011 at 11:30 am by Jenn

11Oprah Allegedly Tried to Commit Suicide Over This Guy

Well hell’s bells. You learn something new every day, huh? Apparently, the National Enquirer has an exclusive interview with an ex-boyfriend of Oprah‘s who said she drove her car into a tree back in ’81 after finding out he was married and had kids. From the Enquirer via the Daily Mail:

Oprah Winfrey tried to kill herself in 1981 when she discovered the man she was in love with was married with children, according to reports. The chat show queen was so distraught that she could not be with radio DJ Tim Watts that she drove her car into a tree in an apparent suicide bid. She even wrote a ‘suicide note’ to best friend Gayle King, who put her on a 24/7 watch after she survived the smash.

In his first comments on their relationship, Watts told the National Enquirer that he and Oprah were ‘both young and at an age when people do stupid things they might regret later’. But he insisted that they were now good friends and that they had both put their past behind them.

The Enquirer reported that Watts, now 59, met Oprah, now 57, in 1981 when she was a production assistant at WJZ-TV in Baltimore. He was the man she would have ‘married in a heartbeat’ – until the night she followed him home and discovered he was already married with children. A source told the Enquirer: ‘She was so upset she smashed her car into a tree.’

Hm. So because this douchebag cheated on his wife and kids with another woman, that drove (ha ha) Oprah to smash a car? I’m skeptical. But wait – it gets better. The guy (who is still a DJ or whatever in Baltimore after all this time) says that bygones are bygones:

“Friends are hard to come by so I’ll hold onto the few I have. What happened between me and Oprah took place a long time ago and we have both learned from it. I have no hard feelings towards her and she has none towards me. We were both young and at an age when people do stupid things they might regret later. We both moved on and are at good place in our lives.”

I’m sooo glad that this guy has no hard feelings over the woman he cheated with. I mean, can you imagine the complete and utter relief that Oprah must feel reading these words? She probably woke up a new woman this morning, and gosh. After looking at that guy, wouldn’t you?

November 3, 2011 at 4:30 am by Sarah