0Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde May Get Married Next Spring

Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis might seem like a really weird couple (and they are), but that doesn’t mean they’re not going to get married. They announced their engagement in January after a little over a year of dating – quite a feat for the woman whose libido Jason was tasked with bringing back to life.

Anyhoo, the word on the street (or in The New York Post) is that the pair will be tying the knot next spring in New York.

Olivia Wilde will marry “SNL” star Jason Sudeikis next spring in upstate New York, and she’s chosen Monique Lhuillier to design her bridesmaids’ dresses. The “Tron” actress dished a few details about her wedding to guests at a Monday bash at The General to celebrate her April Marie Claire cover. She added that the long engagement bucks her family’s usual trend of getting hitched months after a proposal. Also at the dinner were Kristen Wiig, Norah O’Donnell and Ari Graynor.

Wow, I feel like I know SO MUCH MORE about this wedding – like that it may happen sometime in the first quarter of 2014 and that it’ll be somewhere in the state of New York. Why is this a story? I’m more interested in the fact that Olivia hangs out with Kristen Wiig, who we all know is the coolest. Ah, whatever. Good luck to the happy couple or whatever it is you’re supposed to say here.

April 12, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer

9Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis Are Getting Married if You Care!

From People:

The actor proposed to Wilde shortly after the holidays, PEOPLE has learned exclusively.

“They are so excited,” says a source close to both. “And very, very happy.”

Sudeikis, 37, and Wilde, 28, who has said she fell “blissfully, hopelessly, wildly in love” with the actor, began dating in November of 2011 and moved in together last year.

The couple has been spotted together everywhere from Lawrence, Kan., to Austin, Texas, and most recently in Rome, where Wilde is filming the drama The Third Person.

No word yet on a wedding date.

Yay! Hopefully Jason and his funnyman antics can keep Olivia‘s perfect, flower-like, and blissfully sensitive vagina alive long enough to remember the good times after she calls him the death of her libido, which you just know is going to happen sometime over the next two years or so.

Congrats to the couple! Woot woot for matrimony and keeping the flame of post-marital copulation burning!

January 13, 2013 at 1:00 pm by Sarah

3Quotables: Olivia Wilde’s Mad That Everyone Heard About Her Dead Vagina

“The ‘These Girls’ monologues at Joe’s Pub were not meant for publication, and, in context, were a celebration of LOVE, girls, and honesty. Sneaky recorders are everywhere these days, but performance art doesn’t always translate accurately to tabloid interpretation.”

Wait. Wait. So … LOL … Olivia actually thought her comments—her comments in a public forum, to the public at large—would actually be shielded from the media? What f-cking dreamworld does she live in?

If you guys recall, Olivia threw her ex-husband, Tao Ruspoli, under the bus over the last few days, saying that the end of their marriage was seen through a “dead” vagina. Here’s the actual quote in case you missed it:

“I felt like my vagina died. Turned off. Lights out … you can lie to your relatives at Christmas dinner and tell them everything on the home front is just peachy. But you cannot lie to your vagina. Sometimes your vagina dies. Then you know it’s time to go. There’s no reason to sacrifice your womanhood and femininity for some sort of weird feeling of responsibility to something that may not be right. I feel like far too many women do that. [Men] are not allowed to be the only ones thinking with their genitals.”

But LOL on the “not meant for publication.” Good luck with that, girl.

October 11, 2012 at 7:30 am by Sarah

13Quotables: Olivia Wilde’s Ex-Husband Destroyed Her Vagina

“I felt like my vagina died. Turned off. Lights out … you can lie to your relatives at Christmas dinner and tell them everything on the home front is just peachy. But you cannot lie to your vagina. Sometimes your vagina dies. Then you know it’s time to go. There’s no reason to sacrifice your womanhood and femininity for some sort of weird feeling of responsibility to something that may not be right. I feel like far too many women do that. [Men] are not allowed to be the only ones thinking with their genitals.”

OK, so I get the idea that, to some women, sex is very, very, crazily, insanely important in a relationship. It pretty much trumps everything. But I’ve also spoken to women to whom sex is kind of secondary. And that’s OK, too. Me, I’m somewhere in the middle. If I really, really love someone and I’m blissfully happy with them, sex is not necessarily the number one priority; it’s more a bonus than anything. It’s like, even when the sex is “bad,” it’s still pretty good, because it’s sex, you know? Bad sex is pretty much always better than no sex at all, so that’s kind of why, while I respect girlfriend’s ideals that Sex is Aces, I don’t really understand where Olivia‘s coming from on this one.

Or, better yet, not coming. From. On this one.

Also, pardon my crap Paint project. I’m a writer, not a graphic designer, OK?

October 10, 2012 at 7:30 am by Sarah

8Maxim Magazine Debuts Their Hottest Women of 2012

There were a hundred, but we’re just going to talk about the Top 5, because that’s always the most important part of the list, when you’re “ranking” people, right? The higher echelon? Because the rest of the list wasn’t all that impressive (really, Maxim? You really felt the need to put J Woww at slot number 74, higher than Christina Hendricks and Kat Dennings? Because come on), we’re going to feature the top five, and if you really feel the compulsion to find out who the other 95 women were, you can mosey on over to Maxim‘s site and check them out there. I don’t even know who some of the women were.

Ahem.

#5 – Olivia Wilde

#4 – Katy Perry

#3 – Mila Kunis

#2 – Olivia Munn

#1 – Bar Refaeli

First, who made this list? A fifteen-year-old boy? Second, is said list from 2009, because I can think of a zillion other hot chicks that should be in the Top 5 list for 2012, and not one of these ladies (hot as they are) should be in the top 5. Third? The “world’s most beautiful women”? I know lots of people go crazy for Katy Perry and her fabulous rack, but I thought “most beautiful” generally meant “faces,” and not “bodies.” I don’t know.

Who belongs? Who doesn’t? Who thinks that the staff should be flogged with a herpe-infused cat o’nine tails for even including J Woww on the damn list?

May 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Sarah

7Olivia Wilde is the New Legs of Revlon

I mean “new face”! New face! Even though I’m completely captivated by her legs, more specifically her calves, we’re talking about her beautiful face. I definitely mean her legs. Er, face.

…

OK. Let’s be real, here. Girlfriend Olivia Wilde has got some real legs, and I’m not talking about those stick-thin toothpicks that the J. Crew toothpick jean was designed for (and that my ass is never getting into), and I’m so on board with it, because … well, see, I think I’ve found my celebrity leg-twin. Seriously. I’m not going to lie when I say that I have some generous calves for whatever reason (seriously? I only run when I’m being chased, and I haven’t been chased by anything or anyone worth running from since at least 22 or 23), and it’s apparent that Olivia Wilde here, does, too! I’m not going to say that I’m sensitive or anything about my calves, because I’ve been over that pick-a-body-part-and-lament-it-hard thing for ages now, but I can say that I did struggle with my less-than-ballerina-sized legs for awhile when I was in high school.

On the flip side of this, please: don’t get me wrong—there’s nothing wrong with stick-thin legs, and I’m not intimating that at all, but to me, it’s good to see that I’m not the only one in the world that has these, um, “athletic” legs, as I like to refer to them as, or “sturdy” as my husband so lovingly calls them. I prefer “athletic,” myself, but hey. Legs are legs are legs, and while, for the longest time, I would have loved to have legs like Kristen Stewart’s (fig. 1), I got over that when I realized that it just wasn’t the way my lower body was shaped. Later, I finally came to terms with the fact that I’m more of a Shakira (fig. 2) than a Stewart and I gave up the “want what I cannot have” thing that plagued me for so long.

I’ve successfully rambled on about legs for an entire three hundred words, now, so I’m going to just leave the rest of these lovely photos of the beautiful, capable, admirable Olivia Wilde here doing her thing for Revlon, and doing it well—her and her pretty legs.

May 3, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Sarah