Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

This is What Snooki Looks Like Eight Weeks Postpartum

photo of nicole snooki polizzi twitter post baby pictures
I have just one thing to say to Snooki—and it starts with “F-ck” and ends with “you”. Because oh my goodness, I looked *NOTHING* like this eight weeks after giving birth (either time), and to be honest with you, I still don’t look anything like this, and my last child was born seven-and-a-half months ago (not that I’m stressing about it, I’m just making an honest observation) and I’m mad jealous in a “you go girl” kind of way.

Realistically speaking, Snooki doesn’t even look like a Snooki anymore. I mean, yeah, I pretty much totally despise her fashion, still, but she’s so cute! And I’m sorry, but I just can’t associate the word “cute” with someone named Snooki. Unless the Snooki in question is a five-year-old child with an underbite, it can’t be done. Gosh. She looks good without makeup, she looks good post-baby, and now even Jersey Shore has been cancelled. Does Snooki possibly have a future in something not completely trashy here? It might just be, guys. It might just be.

PHOTO: Snooki Goes Makeup-Free Post-Baby

photo of nicole snooki polizzi no makeup pictures
The caption?:

Legit loungin in pjs & no makeup. I feel good.

Guys, can I tell you how much I just love it when Snooks takes photos of herself without seventeen layers of war paint slathered all over her face and décolletage? Because she always looks so pretty and happy and free, but I’m wondering if, this time, Snooki’s not only showing off her bare face, but some minor surgery? Because girlfriend’s face looks a little different than it did last time we saw her without makeup, and here’s that photo to compare:

photo of snooki pictures no makeup photos
It’s something with the teeth and the cheeks, maybe. Did she get new chompers? Chicken cutlets in her face a la Madonna? Or is it maybe just newfound sobriety that thinned her face out in all the right spots?

Photo courtesy of Snooki’s Twitter

Let’s All Just Look at Pictures of Snooki’s Baby And Go “Aww”

A photo of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi


Snooki posted that photo on Twitter a few hours ago with the caption “I love you.” Here’s another photo that she posted, one that was published with her interview in People magazine:

A photo of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

Aww, you guys! Aww!

I mentioned this earlier this week, but I’ve been watching Snooki and J-Woww, and I absolutely love it. I know that the whole pregnancy thing, which is pretty much the main storyline, wasn’t planned at all, but I think it’s great. I love Snooki, I truly do, and I just really enjoyed being able to watch her go through this huge transformation. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it. You get to see Snooki be responsible, more of her relationship with Jionni (which doesn’t seem nearly as bad as I feared it was), and classic moments like J-Woww pausing during a huge fight with her boyfriend to ask him “what’s a stalemate?” It’s really something special.

And just to keep the adorable train going, here’s a few tweets from Snooki about little Lorenzo:

I have the coolest kid ever.

Is it weird in already thinking about what Lorenzo is going to wear to prom? -_- I’m so annoying.

Watchin Lorenzo sleep on this lovely Saturday night

Omg. Lorenzo just peed and pooped on us while we were changing his diaper. #amazing

Chillen with my Lorenzo. he’s starting to smile! Ugh

I love my son.

Up with Lorenzo. he makes me so happy!!

Ugh just looking at Lorenzo and I start crying happy tears! I’ve never been so happy in my life!!!


Look, It’s Snooki’s Baby!

A photo of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jionni, and her baby

So People got the first photos of Snooki‘s brand new baby – I’ll show you the cover in a minute – and I’m sorry, but this is a damn cute family. Jionni still makes me nervous from that time that Jersey Shore went to Italy and he was a manipulative, creepy little asshole, but hopefully all this new responsibility has changed him for the better. Regardless of anything actually happening in this household, which I think we can all agree is a whole different can of worms, I think they look happy and beautiful and proud. And that baby!

All right, here’s the cover:

A photo of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and her baby

His little shoes!

There aren’t many details from the interview yet, but we do know that People did this whole thing just six days after little Lorenzo was born. Oh, and that whole birth thing? Yeah, that took “more than 24 hours of labor.” Just think about that.

Lorenzo’s middle name is Dominic, after Snooki’s uncle that passed away. The precious little family is living with Jionni’s parents. Snooki says that “the partying is long gone” and that she’s “a new person.” And about her feelings for her son, she said “it’s a different kind of love that I never felt before.” You guys.

I know a lot of you have a secret, shameful love for Snooki, but even for you guys that openly dislike her: you have to admit that this is at least a little precious, right?

Snooki’s First Post-Baby TwitPic (Yes, Already)

photo of nicole snooki polizzi pictures baby twitter
And today, she’s been updating Twitter like a madwoman, telling us all about her eyelashes, and how excited she is about ‘American Horror Story’, and casually mentioning that she’s wearing … ugh, diapers (TMI, Snooks. T. M. I). Here’s a few of Snooki‘s select Tweets from the last day or so:

Im finally able to eat eggs again! While I was pregnant I couldn’t even smell them! Now I’m killing it with egg whites!!! #YUM

Post birth isn’t so comfy and glamorous. But my son is FABULOUS. ?

? “@Perfumania: Congrats to @snooki and her new baby! Get her new #SnookiPerfume gift-set available now! ”

Omg. I love you. “@JLaValle: Idk what I enjoy more, watching my fiancé sleep or watching my son sleep?…Both are amazing! #Lafamiglia”

Catching up on some shut eye! So sleepy

I’m legit an old lady. Rockin the diapers with that old lady gangsta lean

CAN’T WAIT! “@PerezHilton: @FXNetworks Stare Into The Bleeding Eyes Of INSANITY In New American Horror Story: HERE!

Duh…..????“@ChanntellyLace: @snooki did you rock your lashes during the birth? Lol”

Lorenzo is even cuter today. #imsolucky

So, OK. Definitely random. But the parts where she’s talking about how cute her baby is and how over the moon she is over how over the moon her fiance, Jionni LaValle, is, it’s definitely kind of aww-inducing. Or, at least, would be, if it weren’t all over Twitter once an hour, making me wonder how content this baby must be that Snooks has this kind of time on her hands.

Ah, the life of a Jersey Shore socialite!

Snooki Had That Baby!

photo of nicole snooki polizzi pregnant pictures
Leave it to Snooki to have her baby right around last call!

From People:

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi gave birth to a baby boy shortly before 3 a.m. Sunday, at Saint Barnabas Medical Center in Livingston, N.J.

“The world just got another Guido!!! Lorenzo Dominic LaValle has entered the world weighing 6 lbs, 5 oz. Nicole, Jionni & Enzo are doing great!” reports MTV.

And this is what girlfriend has been busy doing on the Internet since ‘Enzo (oh dear God) was born earlier this morning:

I am SO IN LOVE with my son Lorenzo Dominic ! I had my little man last night, healthy at 6lbs! HE’S MY WORLD! ?

Hope the world is ready for this new little Guido! … Or, at the very least, MTV Networks. They’re going to have their hands full for the next few years, anyway.

Congratulations to Snooki and her new family! I cannot wait to see pictures of this kid. I honestly have a sneaking suspicion that he’s going to be pretty adorable.

Snooki Is Due in A Couple of Weeks, Just Wants to Be A Good Mom

A photo of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

Did you guys know that Snooki could go into labor anytime now? She’s due in early September, and as Sarah showed you guys a couple of days ago, she’s got quite the tummy going on. Do you know what that means? It means that there’s precious little time left in which Snookers can give hilarious interviews about being pregnant. We’ve really got to savor this while we can, all right? So let’s get to it.

From In Touch:

With just three weeks left before Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and fiancé Jionni LaValle welcome their son, Snooki talks to In Touch about her fears of being a first-time mother!

“I’m nervous that I’m not going to be a good mom,” she admits to In Touch. “I just really hope I know what I’m doing!”

The reality star says being pregnant has been crazier than a night out at the Jersey Shore! “At the Shore you’re going to hook up, get into a fight or go to jail. You only have three options. But being pregnant you have no idea what’s going on!”

And while Snooki’s been preparing for her son’s arrival with apps that tell you what you should be eating and how big the baby is, she’s adamant about skipping Lamaze classes!

“Lamaze is bullshit,” she says. “They teach you how to breathe. Are you really going to be worrying about how to breathe when you’re having a baby? No! You’re going to be screaming and throwing shit.”

“I don’t think anyone really knows what they’re doing with the first kid,” she tells In Touch. “But I think I will be a good mom. I hope so!”  And while the soon-to-be mom can’t wait for the arrival of her son, Snooki jokes that she’s most looking forward to “being a MILF, for sure.”

I’m so glad this girl didn’t lose her style when she got pregnant. Throughout these past several months, Snooki has managed to stay true to herself, and I think that’s just wonderful. I just hope she can recognize the importance of breathing before it’s too late. I’ve never had a baby or anything, but breathing, you guys. It can change your life.