Adaptation was on HBO the other night, and I realized I’d forgotten what a versatile actor Nicolas Cage can be. Then Moonstruck came on right after, and I fell in love with him all over again. How could I have forgotten Leaving Las Vegas? Raising Arizona?

No, I know. It’s easy to forget to take him seriously, thanks to this supercut (NSFW) and that hairline.

Empire Magazine somehow convinced Nic to go live on a “webchat,” fielding questions from fans in real-time. I admit I have never laughed so hard in my life, yes, but now I have no doubt he is a mad genius.

I am not overselling when I call this the Most Amazing Nicolas Cage Interview You Will Ever Read, you guys. I have selected some of my favorite excerpts.

On what to watch during a Nic Cage triple-feature:

“I think the best way to have a trilogy of movies is to find ones that are diverse and provide a kind of counterpoint, so I would go Adaptation, Con Air and Bad Lieutenant.”

See, I liked my inadvertent Adaptation/Moonstruck double-bill, but I really like Nic’s suggestion, too. Very nice.

On whether he has ever regretted passing on a movie role:

“The only reason why I tend to pass on a movie is, either I don’t think I’m right for the material and can’t play it honestly, or because of time constraints with personal things in my life. There were two movies that asked me to go to Australia or New Zealand for long periods of time. One was Lord of the Rings and one was The Matrix.”

On whether he’d like to cinematically revisit any of his characters:

“I would like to hook up with one of the great Japanese filmmakers, like the master that made Ringu, and I would like to take The Wicker Man to Japan, except this time he’s a ghost.”

OH MY GOD.

Someone named Roxanne wonders what it was like to play the dual characters of John Blaze/Ghost Rider.

(more…)

Well, Nicolas Cage might not be a vampire. He might just be a time traveler. Or he might be a wizard – wizards have unusually long lifespans, right? Or perhaps he found the fountain of youth? Either way, the story is that that little photograph above is of a man who resided in my very own hometown of Bristol, Tennessee, way back during the 19th century. As you can see, the man is legendary storyteller and well-meaning ne’er-do-well, Nicolas Cage. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Nicolas Cage can’t be that old! Why, that would make him over one hundred years of age!” Well, then obviously you don’t believe in magic.

Image courtesy of The Daily What

A lot of times, I’m really bad at telling stories. Everyone who knows me knows this, and a really cute thing they do after I tell a completely inappropriate anecdote or screw up some otherwise ok story is go “cool story, bro” in this awful, condescending way that makes me feel ridiculous. And I bring this fact up because Nicolas Cage told a story down at that film festival in Toronto that I’m pretty certain deserved a collective “cool story, bro” from everyone in attendance:

“It was two in the morning. I was living in Orange County at the time and was asleep with my wife. My two-year old at the time was in another room. I opened my eyes and there was a naked man wearing my leather jacket eating a Fudgesicle in front of my bed,” he told reporters on Wednesday.

“I know it sounds funny … but it was horrifying.”

A Fudgesicle is a frozen, ice cream-like snack.

Cage said the ordeal ended after he talked the man out of the house and police arrived. He did not press charges, as the man had mental problems, but Cage, who now lives in Nassau, Bahamas, said he could not stay in the house after that.

I absolutely love stories like this, and Nicolas Cage has got to be full of them. Wouldn’t you just love to spend a night at the bar with Nic, tossing back shots and shooting the breeze? I’d be all “hey, Nic, tell us about the fudgesicle again! Hey Nic, who’s buying the next round? Not you! HEY-O!” And that’s probably why Nicolas Cage and I are not friends.

Remember Cage‘s son, Weston? The one who just got married last month or something? Well, he’s on his first vacation sans-wife already: he’s been institutionalized for a psychological breakdown. In layman’s terms, boyfriend went crazy.

Word on the street says that Weston was out to lunch with his trainer, and when his trainer suggested some tasty morsel off the menu, Weston flipped the fuck out and couldn’t be calmed until police arrived with their good old-fashion sedation tools. Weston Cage v. The Taser? THE TASER WINS. Weston’s since been hospitalized for his episode.

Reps for Nicolas and family have not commented publicly, but if they did, I’d expect the incident to be blamed on the drunkenness of daddy. Poor Weston. Imagine having to grow up with a fruitbat like Nic. It’s really no wonder he snapped under all that strain.

Remember Nicolas Cage‘s mildly creepy son, Weston, who was all gothed-out and sang for an obscure band, Eyes of Noctum? Yup, he got married this past weekend and Daddy was sober and, you know, out of jail enough to attend his only son’s wedding ceremony – super!

Nic was looking just fine as he sauntered around the streets of New Orleans, presumably screaming and looking for a ‘No Parking’ sign to punch in the face.

Remember how Nicolas Cage got arrested yesterday? Well, lucky for him he’s got friends in low places, because none other than his BFF Dog the Bounty Hunter posted Nic’s $11,000 bond.  Hey, what are friends for?!

Dog made a statement to E! about his good deed, natch:

“Media from around the world have been requesting interviews with me today after reports surfaced about my posting a bond for actor Nicolas Cage in New Orleans,” Chapman said in a statement to E! News. “I am a truly dedicated fan of Mr. Cage and will not be granting any interviews about my client as I wish to respect his privacy. I performed my duties as a bail bondsman and not in connection with our show. This is what I do for a living. There are two sides of my job: I release my clients after they have been arrested; and pick them up if they don’t show up in court. I do not believe the latter will be the case for Mr. Cage.”

I could poke fun at Dog for his Nic Cage boner, and I could also hint that Dog is still trying to look good for the media after that racism scandal back in ’07.  I could do many things, but I won’t.  I’m just going to mention that this little story has nestled the image of Dog and Nic, BFF extraordinaires, walking down the street hand in hand while “The Best of Friends” from The Fox and the Hound plays in the background in my head forever.  You’re welcome.