A week ago, Nicki Minaj was involved in an altercation in a Dallas hotel. According to an incident report, the argument escalated in Minaj’s hotel room; when her companion tried to leave, he pushed Minaj away by, um, physically shoving his suitcase into her face. (She suffered a fat lip, CNN said.)
Granted, the Dallas police made a few errors in their report—they got the name of Minaj’s assailant wrong, for one, and they can’t even spell “Los Angeles”—but one deet is a bit more anomalous than all the rest. Ready for it? Nicki Minaj was born in 1982.
That lends credence to the old rumor that Nicki Minaj has been lying about her age: a lot of skeptics, including Lil’ Kim, have long doubted Minaj’s claim that she was born in 1984. (The police report carries so much credibility, somebody has already updated the Wikipedia page to reflect that Minaj is not 26, but 28.)
Yep. Nicki Minaj has finally been outed as an old woman.
This was going to be a post about Lauren Conrad and her boyfriend of three years breaking it up, but two words into writing the headline, I realized that I totally didn’t give a crap and I’d be better suited to discussing how much Nicki Minaj makes me think of Jem.
I was a HUGE Jem fan when I was little – and incidentally, programming for the Hub in my area (is that a thing where you guys are?) started airing old episodes of Jem on Saturdays. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT ROCKS? I’ve been burning through space on my DV-R and chanting “Jem is her name, no one else is the same, JEM IS HER NAME, YEAH” like it’s going out of style.
All right, first I’m going to give you guys the story on Nicki Minaj and then we’re going to discuss our feelings. Ready?
Hello, diva — Nicki Minaj. During her (lip-syncing?) gig Saturday at Chateau, her workers told people at the club that they were not allowed to make eye contact with Minaj, according to inside sources.
Attention, mere mortals of Vegas and the world: We are too peasantry to observe Nicki Minaj’s gaze.
She is the exalted hierarchy of no-looking-in-her-eyes potency, a specimen of unrivaled divinity that no man or woman dareth behold — just like Medusa, the Gorgon monster with snakes for hair.
If you see Nicki Medusa — in person, on TV or online — cast your glances away! You may turn to stone asunder!
Yeah, yeah, haha, Medusa, but really this is ridiculous, right? These “inside sources” are just trying to start some shit. I mean, I’m not the biggest Nicki fan on this blog or anything, but I can’t imagine the girl with the rainbow unitard and the T-rexin’ arms would make such a diva request. Do you guys agree, or do I not know Nicki as well as I think I do?
I mean, Nicki Minaj and Rihanna did too, and they both performed with Britney, but those gals are people you’d expect to see at these things these days. Britney, on the other hand, is still a re-emerging star, coming back from the grips of mental illness and Cheetos.
We’re going to cover the remainder of the show with a complete list of the winners and a crap ton of photos, but as I consider these duets to be the best moments of the night, it’s first.
“I don’t mind the fascination. It’s all good. It doesn’t define me… Like, if you guys focus energy on and spend energy on it, I don’t mind it. You know, people are sitting in the barbershop talking about my butt, it’s conversational. That’s what people are gonna do. As long as I’m talking about Nicki Minaj, I’m good.”
If y’all want to talk about Nicki’s butt like we’re at the barbershop, that’s cool, but I want to talk about her look, because listen, anyone who wears a rainbow unitard has no business not being my very best friend, ok?
A source close to Nicki Minaj has confirmed to XXLMag.com exclusively that the femcee has parted ways with Diddy and James Cruz, her managers since she left Debra Antney’s firm, and is now being managed by Gee Roberson and Kyambo “Hip Hop” Joshua over at Hip-Hop Since 1978. HHS1978 also has Lil Wayne, Drake, Young Jeezy and Just Blaze on its roster.
Although the reason for her departure isn’t clear, another source tells XXL that Minaj was under the impression that Diddy would be more hands-on with her career, but was disappointed when she realized it wasn’t the case.
Seems like we’ve got a little bit of a diva on our hands, not that we didn’t already know that and not that that’s a bad thing. Or a well-deserved title. It’s kind of fascinating to me that Nicki had the courage to fire someone as well-connected and time-tested as Mr. Combs, though.
A bitch has to step her game up sometime, ya know?!