First of all, where the hell has Moby been lately? You know, besides sitting alone in his apartment thinking about what a great artist he is and how no one understands music like he does. He seems to come out of hiding long enough to collaborate with Miley Cyrus and getting-weirder-by-the-day Wayne Coyne on a new music video/movie that’s trippy in all the wrong ways and is in no way worth watching. But please, I encourage you to do it anyway:
If this is what art is now, God help us all.
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Moby is sober now because someone stole his hat. But wait, there’s more to it than that. David Bowie, Moby’s idol (they also went on tour together in 2002) gave Moby a gift any Bowie fan would kill for: his hat from the film The Man Who Fell To Earth. And then some douche stole it. From The Guardian via Express:
About 10 years ago, I was over at his (Bowie’s) house and he gave me a present, the greatest present anyone has ever given me: the fedora that he wore in The Man Who Fell to Earth. And on the inside of the brim it said: ‘To Moby, Love David.’ I felt like I’d been given the holy grail, because Bowie is my favourite artist of all time. A few weeks later, I’d been in this terrible bar and it closed and I invited three people back to my apartment. Anyway, people were smoking crack in the bathroom, and at six in the morning I took out this hat and I was showing it off, and in the morning it was gone… I remember thinking: ‘Boy, I need to stop drinking’.
As a Bowie fan that makes me so sad. Everyone be on the lookout for this hat:
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Man, Moby is on fire this month. Remember that time a few weeks ago when he called Britney Spears “broken” and we were all like “daaaamn!”? Well, it looks like this man still isn’t done ragging on Britney, and this time, he pulls poor, innocent Ke$ha into the mix as well. In a recent interview with Spinner, Moby was asked about the musical stylings of these popular ladies, and he wasn’t shy about expressing his thoughts:
“It’s fun, but I don’t think of it as music. It’s manufactured. I appreciate it as a pop culture phenomenon and some of the songs I like if I hear them in a shopping mall or something, but it doesn’t function as music for me. Music is something that communicates emotion and integrity in a really interesting, direct way. And when I listen to the pop music you’re describing, it’s hyper-produced corporate product. That isn’t really even a criticism, but I just think calling it music is a misnomer.”
Listen, Moby, you’re a grown ass man. You’re 45 years old. I think it’s time to get off your high horse and go sit in your shower and brokenly sing “We Are All Made of Stars.” Not because I think you’re wrong – on the contrary, I completely agree with you – I just feel embarrassed on your behalf.
Way to get people talking about you again, though. I mean, without resorting to recording a song with Gwen Stefani.
Way to be ten years behind the time, Mobe. I know you’re perpetually stuck in, like, ’99 or something, but publicly outing Britney on her general off-balanceness is so last decade. On Britney, Moby says:
“Britney’s actually kind of like a broken-down shell of a human being, that’s what makes her so endearing and compelling. She was lovely, but really broken. Like, (A Streetcar Named Desire character) Blanche Dubois-style broken. Actually, the most entitled people I’ve met are indie rockers and indie actors, because they really believe their press.”
Now, Moby fans, before you go taking your horn-rimmed specs off because you KNOW that it’s not cool to fight when you’re wearing glasses, let it be said that I think Moby’s actually a cool dude, aside from his music – and the last part of that is only because it’s just not my thing. However, he does a lot of good, and we share most of the same spiritual views. But regardless, unless you’re a gossip blogger that happens to run across a slow news day and Britney’s your fallback snark girl, you shouldn’t be throwing her under the bus just because you’re trying to sell albums and it’ll get you press. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU’VE ALREADY DONE IT ONCE, in practically all the same words.
This would be the appropriate place to say, ‘Ugh, Moby – get some new material.’ And praise the cosmos, he HAS. His next album (which hits stores next week) is supposed to be more acoustic than anything, so you better start picking up the pot again and laying off the rolling for a little while at the very least.
Do be sure to let me know how it is.
Seriously, it’s like, when there’s nothing else going on, everyone just uses the opportunity to try to get their name in the papers by saying something about Britney Spears.
Up now: Moby.
I know, right?
Here’s what he had to say to British rag The Sun:
“She’s like this Tennessee Williams tragic figure. The fatter she gets, the weirder she gets, the more I love her. I found her moderately appealing in the late 90s, but now I would marry her in a heartbeat.”
Yeah, that’s right, Moby called Britney Spears fat.