Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus Is So Silly!

A photo of Miley Cyrus

We give you guys some really heavy news here at Evil Beet. We tell you about celebrities with dangerous addictions going to rehab and we tell you about celebrities with dangerous attitudes going to jail. We tell you about babies being born and tragic deaths, and all the stuff in between. Sometimes, things get real serious here.

However, this is not one of those times. Miley Cyrus broke her tailbone, y’all! Ouch!

Here’s the tweet where Miley explains what happened:

cracked my tail bone doing a front flip… on to the couch. thats like when i tripped over a pillow and broke my arm.#onlyme

Oh, Miley! While it’s true that a lot of times I can’t tell how I feel about her, there’s no denying that she is a down ass girl who is always having a good time. You can tell that she’s always ready for some fun, and it makes her endearing, at least some of the time. At this point, I don’t think that Miley really seems to be out of control, or that she’s destined to be this drugged up girl who fills herself full of booze and meth, but only time can tell, right?

Not that I’m saying that breaking your tailbone from playing on the couch is the behavior of a meth addict. Did it sound like that was what I was saying? I just meant that Miley is a little nuts and we should keep an eye on her because she could hurt herself by doing silly tricks. Or meth.

In other news generated from Miley Cyrus’ tweets, this girl has the cutest dogs. Their names are Floyd, Ziggy, and Lila, and she loves them enough to expose their adorable puppy faces on Twitter, which, in my book, is definitely a point in her favor. I went ahead and put the pictures she posted of her dogs in that gallery down below. LOOK AT THE PUPPY. Also, because I’ve been talking about him so much lately and because I’m a proud mother, I’m tacking on a pretty shitty picture of my absolutely adorable guinea pig. You’re welcome in advance.

Miley Cyrus is Going to Make You Lonesome When She Goes

See, this is the musical side of Miley that I just love. LOVE.

This is Miley‘s take on Bob Dylan’s Chimes of Freedom: The Songs of Bob Dylan Honoring 50 Years of Amnesty International, and frankly, it’s f-cking wonderful. I could listen to her version of this song AT LEAST another three times before I got sick of it.

The project, as noted in the CD’s title, celebrates Amnesty International, and all purchases are directly donated to AI:

In January 1961, on a cold snowy evening in Greenwich Village, a twenty-year-old Bob Dylan, fresh out of Minnesota, began his professional career in earnest playing at a hole-in-the-wall coffee house. A few months later, the British lawyer Peter Benenson and some friends in London launched the campaign that became Amnesty International.

It was a coincidence. Yet from the start, Dylan’s artistic work and Amnesty’s political work drew on a common sensibility that ultimately changed the world.

For half a century, Amnesty has pressed to secure the fundamental human rights of the persecuted and imprisoned across the globe. Over that same half century, Dylan’s art has explored and expressed the anguish and hope of the modern human condition.

Chimes of Freedom is dedicated to people worldwide who are unjustly imprisoned or threatened for the peaceful expression of their beliefs.

Good cause, yes? You’ve also got the option of purchasing single tracks, or the entire album, which is priced at a reasonable $24.99. And that’s great. But can we talk a second about Miley and how *good* she actually is at the whole music thing when she tries, and she’s not all glitter and black leather and heaving and grinding and tongue-lolling? I mean, this is a chick that we might actually be able to take seriously one day, especially if she keeps churning out music (OK, mostly covers) like this one here.

Miley Cyrus! A Penis Cake! Drunkenness! Tabletop Dancing!

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Ooh, Miley, you dirty little piggy, you. What will daddy say when he sees his little princess gesticulating all over a large, penis-shaped cake? Oh, and then swigging back Long Island iced teas like a Jersey Shore reject while batting obviously-fake eyelashes (one of which is starting to come undone, thus looking like an escaped tarantula that’s about to eat a face)? Then, to put the cherry on top, she’s found table dancing, exposing her black lace thigh-highs to everyone! Wow. Way to go, girl. That’s some impressive stuff right there.

The above and below (some of which are slightly NSFW, in that if your place of employment has an issue with young women simulating oral sex on phallic-like cakes, maybe you shouldn’t click through the gallery) photos were taken of Miley at boyfriend Liam Hemsworth‘s 22nd birthday party, which was held last weekend.

I don’t know, girl. Announcing you’re a stoner at your birthday party, taking large bites out of red velvet penis cake, and getting tabletop-dancing wasted? It sounds like you’re on a really awesome path, huh? And only nineteen, too. Good for you! You want to know what Lindsay Lohan was doing at nineteen? Here’s a few things: Herbie: Fully Loaded. Being called a “genuine star” by real film critics. Making music. Claiming that you’d never see her in a nude scene. Doing Ellen appearances like this one:

(That’s one bad interview, friends. “I like the word raw”? Oh my. If you didn’t think that was an indicator of what was to come, I don’t know what to tell you. LINDSAY LOHAN LIKES IT RAW, HAR HAR HAR.)

Nineteen, there, folks. Also, that’s really when Lindsay started going off the rails, at the very tail-end of 2005 there. That’s when she wrecked a car and started losing a lot of weight, and even when she developed the first inklings of that ladylike cocaine habit.

Anyway. If these photos of Miley are any indication of what’s to come, I’d say we’re in for a few interesting years, now, aren’t we? If not, and it’s girlfriend just being a relatively-regular nineteen-year-old, that’s OK too. Just be careful, Miles, because a little bit can go a long way, and OBVIOUSLY, the tiniest misstep can set off a crazy spiral of f-cked up events, and then, before you know it, you look a little something like this:

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Friends don’t let friends end up with meth face, girl.

Images courtesy of TMZ

Miley Cyrus Paid $50,000 to Lose 15 Pounds

A photo of Miley Cyrus

If you watched the People’s Choice Awards or looked through the photos here, you probably thought that Miley Cyrus looked a little bit different somehow. Maybe you couldn’t quite place your finger on it. If that’s the case, then don’t worry, you guys, because I will place your finger exactly where it needs to be.

Miley Cyrus looked different because she lost 15 pounds. Now, she’s never been anything close to fat, and she hasn’t even been chubby – those infamous pictures with the insanely bloated face doesn’t count because I’m pretty sure that was just booze – but she apparently had an extra 15 pounds somewhere on her that she could stand to lose without looking painfully ill, and she did it, and she looks good. Good for her, right?

Except that there’s a rumor that Miley spent $50,000 to lose those 15 pounds. Goodness gracious.

From In Touch via Celebitchy:

It was hard not to notice Miley Cyrus’ pared-down physique at the January 11 People’s Choice awards. According to a pal, the teen — who packed on the pounds late last year — enlisted the help of a nutritionist, chef and her old personal trainer, Harley Pasternak, to whip herself into bikini-ready shape ahead of her recent Hawaiian getaway with boyfriend Liam Hemsworth. “Miley probably spent $50,000 to lose 15 pounds in a few weeks,” the pal tells In Touch. “She didn’t care what it cost as long as she looked good!”

I’m kind of torn about how I feel about this. On one hand, it doesn’t sound like she did anything unhealthy. If she just hired a nutritionist and a personal trainer, that doesn’t sound so bad. After all, it could be a lot worse, right? She could have gotten liposuction or any number of cosmetic surgeries to lose a little bit of weight. This sounds healthy and reasonable. Except for the part where she spent $50,000 so she could look hot in a bikini.

I know that Miley has tons and tons of money, and that $50,000 is basically nothing to her, but I can’t help but think that this is extreme. Like, it’s just a bikini. Save that money for your future and go on a jog or something. I’m sure she’s got the basics of diet and exercise down, and I really don’t see to see a reason to do this kind of thing. Oh, except sheer, mind-boggling vanity. Gross.

Where do you guys stand on this one? If you had Miley’s money, would you spend thousands and thousands of dollars to look good on vacation? Does this make you like her any less? Did you like her at all to begin with?

The Best Dressed of the 2012 People’s Choice Awards: Miley Cyrus Wins!

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So, is it me, or is Miley Cyrus, like, UNBELIEVABLY HOT? Hotter than I think I’ve ever seen her kind-of-hot? Hot like an adolescent boy thought “hot” back during the green bra and shower pics era? Because she is. And I find myself wondering when the roof ended up being the floor and the floor ended up being the ceiling.

Seriously. The only competition that Miley could have had in “Best Dressed” would be Demi Lovato (maybe), and even Demi’s leagues behind Miley today.

Oh, and I guess Liam looks alright, too, yeah? Not so bad?

Other relatively well-dressed celebrities in attendance included Demi Lovato, Julianne Hough, Elisha Cuthbert, and Kelly Osbourne.

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Who gets your vote?

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You Know Who Hasn’t Done a Good Movie in Awhile? MILEY CYRUS.

And don’t worry – she’s not breaking the trend here or anything. LOL looks pretty tired, too. I mean, it’s Mean Girls without Lindsay Lohan’s dirty gitch and painful adolescent grimaces from chicks who care too much about clothes. But wait: it’s also got scenes in Paris (oui oui) and Demi Moore and Ashley Greene, so I gather that’s supposed to be the film’s redeeming qualities. But it’s not.

Here’s the official synopsis from IMDB:

In a world connected by YouTube, iTunes, and Facebook, Lola and her friends navigate the peer pressures of high school romance and friendship while dodging their sometimes overbearing and confused parents.

Also, if you saw the trailer, you MUST have noticed a brief scene where Demi Moore’s character (who is Miley’s character’s mom) reads girlfriend’s diary. Ugh, can you believe that? A mom who checks up on their teenager’s day-to-day doings and relationship rantings behind their backs? Gosh. All that practice and you’d think that Demi would have learned a thing or two by maybe reading Ashton‘s diary. She might’ve actually saved herself some heartache (and the possibility of contracting venereal disease). Jeez. And they say acting’s not a real job. I mean, it sure produces real life lessons if you ask me, and probably if you ask Demi, too.

Oh, and way to go, Miley, for doing another movie that I definitely won’t see. Thanks a bunch, girl!

Love It or Leave It: Miley Joins the Mile-High Club

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Figuratively, of course. I wouldn’t want Miley’s image tarnished by spreading a nasty rumor that she got into it in an airplane bathroom with some dude that may or may not be Liam Hemsworth, you know. And really, the last thing I want is BFFFFFF Demi Lovato coming to Miley’s rescue via Twitter squawking about how it’s not cool to pretend that someone’s [fill in the blank] when they’re really [fill in the blank] instead.

No, I’m specifically talking about her mile-high jeans, which are so high-waisted that they’re practically overalls. All she’d need after a few adjustable denim straps would be a blade (?) of grain between her teeth and some pigtails and fiddles and we’d be shucking and jiving and picking and grinning all over the place. …
Maybe that’s just Billy Ray, though.

Miley here was out shopping with her boyfriend (not pictured) when she was caught wearing something only skinny-ass girls can wear – jeans that completely cover both your hips and your bellybutton.

Generally, I’d go ahead and say that the outfit’s cute, granted it appears to be more of a period costume than actual outfit, per se, but she does it pretty well. I personally wouldn’t be caught dead in it, but hey. That’s just me. I’m not into eighties street fashion and band t-shirts, nor am I what you’d consider to have no hips or no ass, and guys, some people just shouldn’t wear pants with a high rise. Or they end up looking like this:

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Not pretty, huh?