Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus Cut Off Most of Her Hair and Demi Lovato Washed That Man Right Out of Hers, Maybe

photo of miley cyrus pictures twitter hair cut photos
I like it! I mean, I liked it a lot when she had her long, flowing locks of … rayon, was it? but I really like it now that it’s short and natural and completely authentic-looking. It’s good. It makes her look more mature, and a lot of people have been waiting for that for years, even though she turned eighteen back in 2010 or something. F-cking perverts.

Another celebrity who completely did a look change-up was Demi Lovato, who also posted a photo of herself on Twitter as a golden blonde instead of her as-of-late fiery red:

photo of demi lovato blonde hair pictures photos pics
Looks good, right? And does that mean that maybe she’s done with Wilmer Valderrama? Because I’ve heard that when people do drastic things to their hair, that they’re either looking to make a big lifestyle change or, you know, they’re just going crazy. I think Demi’s still got a good, solid grip on reality these days (despite the rumored possibility of that Fez-reunion), so I’m going to go out on a limb, here, and assume it’s not the latter reason, and if it’s the former? Boy oh boy. Christmas just came EARLY, my friends.

Who do you think did the hair-change better, Demi or Miley?

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Images courtesy of Miley Cyrus and Demi Lovato’s Twitter. Respectively.

Miley’s Taking Fashion Tips from Taylor Momsen

photo of miley cyrus getting coffee 2012 pictures photos
This is how girlfriend went to Starbucks yesterday afternoon. And though I know I shouldn’t judge, because you should *SEE* the way that I go to Starbucks (think sweatpants, loafers, and a long-sleeved t-shirt; my long hair in a big ball of bedhead tangle and zero makeup), but this outfit reminds me much of the time that Taylor Momsen clomped around New York City last year while she was, duh, also getting coffee:

photo of taylor momsen getting coffee black ensemble thigh highs boots goth pics
Uncanny, right? Shit’s almost the same, right down to the boots, only Miley‘s boots aren’t nearly as scary or lethal-looking as Taylor’s are. See the images in the gallery to get the full effect.

Best thing about this photo, though, is that my dad happened to stop in this morning for an early coffee while I was in the process of writing this post (he’s sixty-one years old and still runs almost every single day and drinks coffee like it’s going out of style). And as he peered over my shoulder, loudly sipping his coffee, he said, “Who’s that girl?” (referring to the photo of Miley) and I told him that it was nobody that he knew. “Billy Ray Cyrus’s daughter, Dad.” And he responded, “Well whoever she is, she looks like a bag of smashed assholes one way or the other,” and I had to laugh because for my entire life, that’s been my dad’s biggest insult for anyone. If he really wanted to be cutting and scathing, he’d say, “So-and-so looks like a bag of smashed assholes,” or “Boy, I ran into your friend [fill in the blanks] this morning at the grocery store and [she/he] looked like a bag of smashed assholes. What’s [he/she] been doing to themselves?”

I’d always wondered what that phrase meant, and if anyone anywhere else in the world had ever heard it before, but somehow I’d doubted that. I mean, a bag of assholes? Like, literal assholes, or just a bunch of shitty people all thrown together in a bag? I’d envision the bag as a brown, burlap sack – always a burlap sack – and I could picture that as clear as day. As for the whole ‘smashing’ part, I figured it was done by hammer. Or a mallet of some sort. Definitely a blunt object, but I’d always preferred the hammer bit, myself.

Last, if you’re wondering, yes, this is the kind of stuff that I pondered during my adolescence (and OK, you caught me; my adult years, too), so it’s really no wonder that I’ve ended up the way that I did.

So thanks, Dad. Thanks for making me who I am today. It’s nice to know that someone’s partially to blame at least.

Miley Cyrus Wrote An Essay About Gay Marriage

A photo of Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus also wore that outfit up there out in public. Which one is more believable?

Anyway, back in July, you might recall that Miley got a little tattoo: an equality sign on her ring finger. She tweeted a picture of that tattoo, along with a message that said “All LOVE is equal,” and many of her followers through a hissy fit. A few of her fans said that Miley’s message went against her Christian religion, but Miley still stood firm in her beliefs.

As further proof of that, Miley wrote an essay on the topic for Glamour:

Imagine finding someone you love more than anything in the world, who you would risk your life for but couldn’t marry. And you couldn’t have that special day the way your friends do—you know, wear the ring on your finger and have it mean the same thing as everybody else. Just put yourself in that person’s shoes. It makes me feel sick to my stomach.

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I Guess Tish Cyrus Was Always a Floozy

photo of miley cyrus family photo twitter pictures photos
Right? Right? Miley posted this photo to her Twitter account earlier today with the caption “Awkward family photos. @billyraycyrus always giving face!” and yeah, I know that’s true, but Tish Cyrus, yes? Total hooch, isn’t she? I realize the big, Aqua-Net hair and brown lipstick was A Thing back in 1990 or whatever, but come on. This is supposed to be a loving, heartfelt family photo, not a glamour shot for a hair salon magazine. What’s she wearing underneath that black wool and fake-sherpa coat? Nothing? Yeah, probably. In fact, the photo would be so much better if Tish wasn’t even in it – and it’s an easy photo to pretend that about, too. All you have to do is close your right eye, turn your head, and squint a little bit and she’s almost not even there.

Then again, that trick’s definitely old news. I hear Billy Ray‘s been doing that for two over two decades now and he’s got it on lockdown.

Either way, nice photo, Miley. It sure beats awkward photos of you eating a big, fat penis cake with Demi Moore! I mean, Demi was, what, thirty when this picture was taken? It really kind of puts things in perspective, now, doesn’t it.

Moral of the story? Watch who you eat penis cake with. Or something.

Guess Who Was at Miley’s Penis Party!

A photo of Demi Moore

If you guessed Demi Moore, then congratulations, you are correct! That means that you have eyeballs that can see things and a brain that can recognize them! I’m so proud of you for both of those things!

But yeah, you guys remember Miley Cyrus‘ penis party. That’s not even a question, it’s a statement, because there is no way you could forget that shindig. It featured Miley chugging on the biggest alcoholic beverage and making a porn face at cake that was shaped like male genitalia. That isn’t something you forget. Well, I guess you wouldn’t forget it unless you have a habit of doing whip-its. Lame.

Just 9 days before her whip-it induced medical emergency … Demi Moore partied under the radar at Miley Cyrus’ BF’s birthday bash in L.A.  … you know, the one with the penis cake … more evidence that Demi was desperately clinging on to her fading youth.

Multiple sources who were at Club Icon on January 14 tell us … Demi was hanging out with her daughter Rumer and some young friends … mostly kickin’ it in the VIP section.

We’re told Demi was drinking Red Bull all night  … a drink she’s been obsessively sucking down for years. We’re told she left with Rumer sometime after midnight.

A few days later, Demi was seen clubbing with Rumer around Hollywood … and on January 23rd, she was hospitalized after inhaling nitrous oxide in the form of whip-its, a drug that’s super popular with high school kids.

People familiar with the situation tell us … it’s not hard to connect the dots.  The woman who became famous for what people thought was eternal youth became a believer in the illusion, and it manifested itself in various ways — partying with her daughter and her 20-something friends, obsessing over her body image, and finally using drugs that appeal to people more than half her age.

So is it safe to assume that these kids were doing whip-its and smoking K2 and having fun with bath salts? Because that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. It’s also the most ridiculous thing my boyfriend has ever heard, because ever since I mentioned that Demi Moore probably smoked K2 and then had a seizure and went to the hospital, he keeps bringing it up. A couple of nights ago we were going to sleep, and he started giggling, and when I asked him what was funny, he just said “Demi Moore smoked K2, that’s ridiculous.” And it is.

I know one dude who has smoked K2, and he’s a teenager. The first person that comes to mind when I think of whip-its is Steve-O. When I think of bath salts, I think of the people I went to high school with who broadcast their drama all over Facebook and call their ex-spouses endearing names like “bath salt snorting piece of shit.” Do you get the theme here? Demi Moore’s drugs of choice are the drugs of choice of boys who are either teenagers, jackasses, or rednecks. Something’s not right there.

Oh well. At least now I have probable reason to believe that Miley Cyrus has done whip-its. Could you even imagine?

Miley Cyrus Is So Silly!

A photo of Miley Cyrus

We give you guys some really heavy news here at Evil Beet. We tell you about celebrities with dangerous addictions going to rehab and we tell you about celebrities with dangerous attitudes going to jail. We tell you about babies being born and tragic deaths, and all the stuff in between. Sometimes, things get real serious here.

However, this is not one of those times. Miley Cyrus broke her tailbone, y’all! Ouch!

Here’s the tweet where Miley explains what happened:

cracked my tail bone doing a front flip… on to the couch. thats like when i tripped over a pillow and broke my arm.#onlyme

Oh, Miley! While it’s true that a lot of times I can’t tell how I feel about her, there’s no denying that she is a down ass girl who is always having a good time. You can tell that she’s always ready for some fun, and it makes her endearing, at least some of the time. At this point, I don’t think that Miley really seems to be out of control, or that she’s destined to be this drugged up girl who fills herself full of booze and meth, but only time can tell, right?

Not that I’m saying that breaking your tailbone from playing on the couch is the behavior of a meth addict. Did it sound like that was what I was saying? I just meant that Miley is a little nuts and we should keep an eye on her because she could hurt herself by doing silly tricks. Or meth.

In other news generated from Miley Cyrus’ tweets, this girl has the cutest dogs. Their names are Floyd, Ziggy, and Lila, and she loves them enough to expose their adorable puppy faces on Twitter, which, in my book, is definitely a point in her favor. I went ahead and put the pictures she posted of her dogs in that gallery down below. LOOK AT THE PUPPY. Also, because I’ve been talking about him so much lately and because I’m a proud mother, I’m tacking on a pretty shitty picture of my absolutely adorable guinea pig. You’re welcome in advance.

Miley Cyrus is Going to Make You Lonesome When She Goes

See, this is the musical side of Miley that I just love. LOVE.

This is Miley‘s take on Bob Dylan’s Chimes of Freedom: The Songs of Bob Dylan Honoring 50 Years of Amnesty International, and frankly, it’s f-cking wonderful. I could listen to her version of this song AT LEAST another three times before I got sick of it.

The project, as noted in the CD’s title, celebrates Amnesty International, and all purchases are directly donated to AI:

In January 1961, on a cold snowy evening in Greenwich Village, a twenty-year-old Bob Dylan, fresh out of Minnesota, began his professional career in earnest playing at a hole-in-the-wall coffee house. A few months later, the British lawyer Peter Benenson and some friends in London launched the campaign that became Amnesty International.

It was a coincidence. Yet from the start, Dylan’s artistic work and Amnesty’s political work drew on a common sensibility that ultimately changed the world.

For half a century, Amnesty has pressed to secure the fundamental human rights of the persecuted and imprisoned across the globe. Over that same half century, Dylan’s art has explored and expressed the anguish and hope of the modern human condition.

Chimes of Freedom is dedicated to people worldwide who are unjustly imprisoned or threatened for the peaceful expression of their beliefs.

Good cause, yes? You’ve also got the option of purchasing single tracks, or the entire album, which is priced at a reasonable $24.99. And that’s great. But can we talk a second about Miley and how *good* she actually is at the whole music thing when she tries, and she’s not all glitter and black leather and heaving and grinding and tongue-lolling? I mean, this is a chick that we might actually be able to take seriously one day, especially if she keeps churning out music (OK, mostly covers) like this one here.