Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Miley Cyrus

Guess Who Was at Miley’s Penis Party!

A photo of Demi Moore

If you guessed Demi Moore, then congratulations, you are correct! That means that you have eyeballs that can see things and a brain that can recognize them! I’m so proud of you for both of those things!

But yeah, you guys remember Miley Cyrus‘ penis party. That’s not even a question, it’s a statement, because there is no way you could forget that shindig. It featured Miley chugging on the biggest alcoholic beverage and making a porn face at cake that was shaped like male genitalia. That isn’t something you forget. Well, I guess you wouldn’t forget it unless you have a habit of doing whip-its. Lame.

Just 9 days before her whip-it induced medical emergency … Demi Moore partied under the radar at Miley Cyrus’ BF’s birthday bash in L.A.  … you know, the one with the penis cake … more evidence that Demi was desperately clinging on to her fading youth.

Multiple sources who were at Club Icon on January 14 tell us … Demi was hanging out with her daughter Rumer and some young friends … mostly kickin’ it in the VIP section.

We’re told Demi was drinking Red Bull all night  … a drink she’s been obsessively sucking down for years. We’re told she left with Rumer sometime after midnight.

A few days later, Demi was seen clubbing with Rumer around Hollywood … and on January 23rd, she was hospitalized after inhaling nitrous oxide in the form of whip-its, a drug that’s super popular with high school kids.

People familiar with the situation tell us … it’s not hard to connect the dots.  The woman who became famous for what people thought was eternal youth became a believer in the illusion, and it manifested itself in various ways — partying with her daughter and her 20-something friends, obsessing over her body image, and finally using drugs that appeal to people more than half her age.

So is it safe to assume that these kids were doing whip-its and smoking K2 and having fun with bath salts? Because that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. It’s also the most ridiculous thing my boyfriend has ever heard, because ever since I mentioned that Demi Moore probably smoked K2 and then had a seizure and went to the hospital, he keeps bringing it up. A couple of nights ago we were going to sleep, and he started giggling, and when I asked him what was funny, he just said “Demi Moore smoked K2, that’s ridiculous.” And it is.

I know one dude who has smoked K2, and he’s a teenager. The first person that comes to mind when I think of whip-its is Steve-O. When I think of bath salts, I think of the people I went to high school with who broadcast their drama all over Facebook and call their ex-spouses endearing names like “bath salt snorting piece of shit.” Do you get the theme here? Demi Moore’s drugs of choice are the drugs of choice of boys who are either teenagers, jackasses, or rednecks. Something’s not right there.

Oh well. At least now I have probable reason to believe that Miley Cyrus has done whip-its. Could you even imagine?

Miley Cyrus Is So Silly!

A photo of Miley Cyrus

We give you guys some really heavy news here at Evil Beet. We tell you about celebrities with dangerous addictions going to rehab and we tell you about celebrities with dangerous attitudes going to jail. We tell you about babies being born and tragic deaths, and all the stuff in between. Sometimes, things get real serious here.

However, this is not one of those times. Miley Cyrus broke her tailbone, y’all! Ouch!

Here’s the tweet where Miley explains what happened:

cracked my tail bone doing a front flip… on to the couch. thats like when i tripped over a pillow and broke my arm.#onlyme

Oh, Miley! While it’s true that a lot of times I can’t tell how I feel about her, there’s no denying that she is a down ass girl who is always having a good time. You can tell that she’s always ready for some fun, and it makes her endearing, at least some of the time. At this point, I don’t think that Miley really seems to be out of control, or that she’s destined to be this drugged up girl who fills herself full of booze and meth, but only time can tell, right?

Not that I’m saying that breaking your tailbone from playing on the couch is the behavior of a meth addict. Did it sound like that was what I was saying? I just meant that Miley is a little nuts and we should keep an eye on her because she could hurt herself by doing silly tricks. Or meth.

In other news generated from Miley Cyrus’ tweets, this girl has the cutest dogs. Their names are Floyd, Ziggy, and Lila, and she loves them enough to expose their adorable puppy faces on Twitter, which, in my book, is definitely a point in her favor. I went ahead and put the pictures she posted of her dogs in that gallery down below. LOOK AT THE PUPPY. Also, because I’ve been talking about him so much lately and because I’m a proud mother, I’m tacking on a pretty shitty picture of my absolutely adorable guinea pig. You’re welcome in advance.

Miley Cyrus is Going to Make You Lonesome When She Goes

See, this is the musical side of Miley that I just love. LOVE.

This is Miley‘s take on Bob Dylan’s Chimes of Freedom: The Songs of Bob Dylan Honoring 50 Years of Amnesty International, and frankly, it’s f-cking wonderful. I could listen to her version of this song AT LEAST another three times before I got sick of it.

The project, as noted in the CD’s title, celebrates Amnesty International, and all purchases are directly donated to AI:

In January 1961, on a cold snowy evening in Greenwich Village, a twenty-year-old Bob Dylan, fresh out of Minnesota, began his professional career in earnest playing at a hole-in-the-wall coffee house. A few months later, the British lawyer Peter Benenson and some friends in London launched the campaign that became Amnesty International.

It was a coincidence. Yet from the start, Dylan’s artistic work and Amnesty’s political work drew on a common sensibility that ultimately changed the world.

For half a century, Amnesty has pressed to secure the fundamental human rights of the persecuted and imprisoned across the globe. Over that same half century, Dylan’s art has explored and expressed the anguish and hope of the modern human condition.

Chimes of Freedom is dedicated to people worldwide who are unjustly imprisoned or threatened for the peaceful expression of their beliefs.

Good cause, yes? You’ve also got the option of purchasing single tracks, or the entire album, which is priced at a reasonable $24.99. And that’s great. But can we talk a second about Miley and how *good* she actually is at the whole music thing when she tries, and she’s not all glitter and black leather and heaving and grinding and tongue-lolling? I mean, this is a chick that we might actually be able to take seriously one day, especially if she keeps churning out music (OK, mostly covers) like this one here.

Miley Cyrus! A Penis Cake! Drunkenness! Tabletop Dancing!

photo of miley cyrus drunk dancing cleavage boob upskirt pics photos
Ooh, Miley, you dirty little piggy, you. What will daddy say when he sees his little princess gesticulating all over a large, penis-shaped cake? Oh, and then swigging back Long Island iced teas like a Jersey Shore reject while batting obviously-fake eyelashes (one of which is starting to come undone, thus looking like an escaped tarantula that’s about to eat a face)? Then, to put the cherry on top, she’s found table dancing, exposing her black lace thigh-highs to everyone! Wow. Way to go, girl. That’s some impressive stuff right there.

The above and below (some of which are slightly NSFW, in that if your place of employment has an issue with young women simulating oral sex on phallic-like cakes, maybe you shouldn’t click through the gallery) photos were taken of Miley at boyfriend Liam Hemsworth‘s 22nd birthday party, which was held last weekend.

I don’t know, girl. Announcing you’re a stoner at your birthday party, taking large bites out of red velvet penis cake, and getting tabletop-dancing wasted? It sounds like you’re on a really awesome path, huh? And only nineteen, too. Good for you! You want to know what Lindsay Lohan was doing at nineteen? Here’s a few things: Herbie: Fully Loaded. Being called a “genuine star” by real film critics. Making music. Claiming that you’d never see her in a nude scene. Doing Ellen appearances like this one:

(That’s one bad interview, friends. “I like the word raw”? Oh my. If you didn’t think that was an indicator of what was to come, I don’t know what to tell you. LINDSAY LOHAN LIKES IT RAW, HAR HAR HAR.)

Nineteen, there, folks. Also, that’s really when Lindsay started going off the rails, at the very tail-end of 2005 there. That’s when she wrecked a car and started losing a lot of weight, and even when she developed the first inklings of that ladylike cocaine habit.

Anyway. If these photos of Miley are any indication of what’s to come, I’d say we’re in for a few interesting years, now, aren’t we? If not, and it’s girlfriend just being a relatively-regular nineteen-year-old, that’s OK too. Just be careful, Miles, because a little bit can go a long way, and OBVIOUSLY, the tiniest misstep can set off a crazy spiral of f-cked up events, and then, before you know it, you look a little something like this:

photo of lindsay lohan pictures photos meth face pics
Friends don’t let friends end up with meth face, girl.

Images courtesy of TMZ

Miley Cyrus Paid $50,000 to Lose 15 Pounds

A photo of Miley Cyrus

If you watched the People’s Choice Awards or looked through the photos here, you probably thought that Miley Cyrus looked a little bit different somehow. Maybe you couldn’t quite place your finger on it. If that’s the case, then don’t worry, you guys, because I will place your finger exactly where it needs to be.

Miley Cyrus looked different because she lost 15 pounds. Now, she’s never been anything close to fat, and she hasn’t even been chubby – those infamous pictures with the insanely bloated face doesn’t count because I’m pretty sure that was just booze – but she apparently had an extra 15 pounds somewhere on her that she could stand to lose without looking painfully ill, and she did it, and she looks good. Good for her, right?

Except that there’s a rumor that Miley spent $50,000 to lose those 15 pounds. Goodness gracious.

From In Touch via Celebitchy:

It was hard not to notice Miley Cyrus’ pared-down physique at the January 11 People’s Choice awards. According to a pal, the teen — who packed on the pounds late last year — enlisted the help of a nutritionist, chef and her old personal trainer, Harley Pasternak, to whip herself into bikini-ready shape ahead of her recent Hawaiian getaway with boyfriend Liam Hemsworth. “Miley probably spent $50,000 to lose 15 pounds in a few weeks,” the pal tells In Touch. “She didn’t care what it cost as long as she looked good!”

I’m kind of torn about how I feel about this. On one hand, it doesn’t sound like she did anything unhealthy. If she just hired a nutritionist and a personal trainer, that doesn’t sound so bad. After all, it could be a lot worse, right? She could have gotten liposuction or any number of cosmetic surgeries to lose a little bit of weight. This sounds healthy and reasonable. Except for the part where she spent $50,000 so she could look hot in a bikini.

I know that Miley has tons and tons of money, and that $50,000 is basically nothing to her, but I can’t help but think that this is extreme. Like, it’s just a bikini. Save that money for your future and go on a jog or something. I’m sure she’s got the basics of diet and exercise down, and I really don’t see to see a reason to do this kind of thing. Oh, except sheer, mind-boggling vanity. Gross.

Where do you guys stand on this one? If you had Miley’s money, would you spend thousands and thousands of dollars to look good on vacation? Does this make you like her any less? Did you like her at all to begin with?

The Best Dressed of the 2012 People’s Choice Awards: Miley Cyrus Wins!

photo of miley cyrus and liam hemsworth hot 2012 people's choice awards pics
So, is it me, or is Miley Cyrus, like, UNBELIEVABLY HOT? Hotter than I think I’ve ever seen her kind-of-hot? Hot like an adolescent boy thought “hot” back during the green bra and shower pics era? Because she is. And I find myself wondering when the roof ended up being the floor and the floor ended up being the ceiling.

Seriously. The only competition that Miley could have had in “Best Dressed” would be Demi Lovato (maybe), and even Demi’s leagues behind Miley today.

Oh, and I guess Liam looks alright, too, yeah? Not so bad?

Other relatively well-dressed celebrities in attendance included Demi Lovato, Julianne Hough, Elisha Cuthbert, and Kelly Osbourne.

photo of demi lovato hot at the people's choice awards pics

photo of julianne hough pictures photos 2012 pca pics

photo of elisha cuthbert pictures people's choice awards pics

photo of kelly osbourne pictures 2012 people's choice awards pics

Who gets your vote?

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You Know Who Hasn’t Done a Good Movie in Awhile? MILEY CYRUS.

And don’t worry – she’s not breaking the trend here or anything. LOL looks pretty tired, too. I mean, it’s Mean Girls without Lindsay Lohan’s dirty gitch and painful adolescent grimaces from chicks who care too much about clothes. But wait: it’s also got scenes in Paris (oui oui) and Demi Moore and Ashley Greene, so I gather that’s supposed to be the film’s redeeming qualities. But it’s not.

Here’s the official synopsis from IMDB:

In a world connected by YouTube, iTunes, and Facebook, Lola and her friends navigate the peer pressures of high school romance and friendship while dodging their sometimes overbearing and confused parents.

Also, if you saw the trailer, you MUST have noticed a brief scene where Demi Moore’s character (who is Miley’s character’s mom) reads girlfriend’s diary. Ugh, can you believe that? A mom who checks up on their teenager’s day-to-day doings and relationship rantings behind their backs? Gosh. All that practice and you’d think that Demi would have learned a thing or two by maybe reading Ashton‘s diary. She might’ve actually saved herself some heartache (and the possibility of contracting venereal disease). Jeez. And they say acting’s not a real job. I mean, it sure produces real life lessons if you ask me, and probably if you ask Demi, too.

Oh, and way to go, Miley, for doing another movie that I definitely won’t see. Thanks a bunch, girl!