Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Miley Cyrus

You Know Who Hasn’t Done a Good Movie in Awhile? MILEY CYRUS.

And don’t worry – she’s not breaking the trend here or anything. LOL looks pretty tired, too. I mean, it’s Mean Girls without Lindsay Lohan’s dirty gitch and painful adolescent grimaces from chicks who care too much about clothes. But wait: it’s also got scenes in Paris (oui oui) and Demi Moore and Ashley Greene, so I gather that’s supposed to be the film’s redeeming qualities. But it’s not.

Here’s the official synopsis from IMDB:

In a world connected by YouTube, iTunes, and Facebook, Lola and her friends navigate the peer pressures of high school romance and friendship while dodging their sometimes overbearing and confused parents.

Also, if you saw the trailer, you MUST have noticed a brief scene where Demi Moore’s character (who is Miley’s character’s mom) reads girlfriend’s diary. Ugh, can you believe that? A mom who checks up on their teenager’s day-to-day doings and relationship rantings behind their backs? Gosh. All that practice and you’d think that Demi would have learned a thing or two by maybe reading Ashton‘s diary. She might’ve actually saved herself some heartache (and the possibility of contracting venereal disease). Jeez. And they say acting’s not a real job. I mean, it sure produces real life lessons if you ask me, and probably if you ask Demi, too.

Oh, and way to go, Miley, for doing another movie that I definitely won’t see. Thanks a bunch, girl!

Love It or Leave It: Miley Joins the Mile-High Club

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Figuratively, of course. I wouldn’t want Miley’s image tarnished by spreading a nasty rumor that she got into it in an airplane bathroom with some dude that may or may not be Liam Hemsworth, you know. And really, the last thing I want is BFFFFFF Demi Lovato coming to Miley’s rescue via Twitter squawking about how it’s not cool to pretend that someone’s [fill in the blank] when they’re really [fill in the blank] instead.

No, I’m specifically talking about her mile-high jeans, which are so high-waisted that they’re practically overalls. All she’d need after a few adjustable denim straps would be a blade (?) of grain between her teeth and some pigtails and fiddles and we’d be shucking and jiving and picking and grinning all over the place. …
Maybe that’s just Billy Ray, though.

Miley here was out shopping with her boyfriend (not pictured) when she was caught wearing something only skinny-ass girls can wear – jeans that completely cover both your hips and your bellybutton.

Generally, I’d go ahead and say that the outfit’s cute, granted it appears to be more of a period costume than actual outfit, per se, but she does it pretty well. I personally wouldn’t be caught dead in it, but hey. That’s just me. I’m not into eighties street fashion and band t-shirts, nor am I what you’d consider to have no hips or no ass, and guys, some people just shouldn’t wear pants with a high rise. Or they end up looking like this:

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Not pretty, huh?

Khloe Kardashian Faces Some Awful Genitals

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OK, remember last night’s clip featuring Weird Al and Steven Tyler and Alice Cooper? Well, this clip, featuring Khloe Kardashian, Miley Cyrus, and Kelly Osbourne is way, way funnier and way, way more entertaining.

To summarize, Khloe and Kelly come to Miley’s house to get Punk’d hang out and spend some girl-time, and through the course of the night, the girls decide to order some takeout. The delivery guy arrives, drops off the food, and asks to use Miley’s toilet. The delivery guy emerges from the loo, where he’s zippered his balls into his pants, and hilarity ensues. There’s a lot of discomfiting man-screaming and shots of Miley Cyrus unsuccessfully covering her laughing face, but Khloe’s the real star of the clip, guys: she’s calm, cool and collected, calls the paramedics and barks medical orders like she’s on ER. Or, at the very least, Scrubs.

If there was ever any doubt about Khloe Kardashian being the one and only GOOD Kardashian, this video clip should wash away any misconceptions that you might have. I know she doesn’t have the massive, super-extensive experience that her sister Kim has with viewing scrotums in distress, and she doesn’t have the dead eyes and unflappable, almost Neanderthal-like demeanor that epitomizes cold-fish Kourtney, but dadgum it, Khloe Kardashian is the hero of the day this time around, and thank God for it, huh?

Love It or Leave It: Miley Cyrus’ Laundry Day Outfit

A photo of Miley Cyrus

I haven’t had to go through this in a while because my new apartment miraculously had a washer and dryer inside, but in college, laundry days were a nightmare. I would put off washing my clothes for as long as I could because I was too busy or I didn’t want to use all those quarters or I just wanted to wait to go to my mom’s and do it for free. A few days of the month, I would end up walking around campus in my bright red corduroy pants or my itchy sweater that left bits of fuzz all over my coat, pants, bra, and everything else it touched. One time I even ended up going to class in a pair of dude’s swim trunks that I purchased on the fly because I didn’t have time to try on actual swimsuits and analyze what looked ok. It’s a tough time in people’s lives, and I understand that.

But these pictures of Miley and friends doing some laundry … there’s just no excuse. Laundry day doesn’t mean you have to pile on ugly rings. Laundry day doesn’t mean you have to own those jeans to begin with. Miley and friends are just missing the whole point, and it’s really upsetting for me.

What do you guys think? Is Miley looking ok, or does she look like some 80′s trash? Did you have a moment of “wait, that’s Miley, really?” like I did? Do you have any special laundry memories? It’s share time!

Images courtesy of Celebuzz

Quotables: Miley’s Gazongas Are Rill, Y’all

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@MileyCyrusBz Thank you for the compliment but these babies are all mine. I wish they’d realize you don’t have to be fake to be beautiful!

Miley Cyrus dismisses rumors of breast augmentation surgery via Twitter.

Two mornings ago, Sarah couldn’t help but notice Miley’s awesome rack. Who am I kidding? Everyone noticed her awesome rack.

Radar noticed, too, and speculated yesterday that the teen tartlet maybe had some “work” done. Radar even consulted some experts! (Three plastic surgeons, actually; one noted that her boobs had “more volume.”)

For my money, those don’t look like fakes. In other words: lucky kid.

Here’s a closer look.

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I admit, when I clicked on “Adjust size,” I gave myself the screaming giggles.

Are they or aren't they?
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Love It or Leave It: Miley Cyrus Shows Us Some Boob

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Look, it’s Miley Cyrus trying to distract us from thinking that she’s a stoner! Come on, Miles, you don’t have to worry about that business: we know you toke up on the regular, and it’s OK. Really, it’s alright. It’s not like you’re Lindsay Lohan who feels the need to blow every semi-powdery substance in a 45-mile radius up her nose every time she gets rejected for an Epic Movie Role. We’re completely alright with you, and you don’t have to go to such extremes as almost baring your boobs to make us like you again.

I mean, it’s a great gesture, and I’m sure everyone completely appreciates it, but we love you just the way you are, girl – don’t change who you are.

Miley Cyrus Isn’t Really A Stoner, You Guys

A photo of Kelly Osbourne and Miley Cyrus

It was a joke, ok? Miley was all “I smoke way too much weed, LOL,” and everybody took her seriously. Everyone was just so eager to believe that Miley could be into drugs. Well, you should all be ashamed of yourselves, and Kelly Osbourne feels very strongly about that. You can tell because she discussed this fiasco on her Twitter:

let me make something very clear after Miley Cyrus salvia incident we started calling her bob miley as a JOKE! the cake was also A JOKE! it makes me sick that Miley Cyrus so called ‘friends’ would sell her out and lead people 2 believe she is someone that she is not!

u guys if Miley Cyrus is not recording/filming/touring she is works everyday how could she possible do all that if she was a stoner! #think

Seriously though, you know what I think is ridiculous? The notion that Miley isn’t a stoner. Does Kelly think we’re ignorant? Does she think that no one has ever seen a photo of Miley? And another thing: I find it offensive to say that people who smoke weed can’t also be hardworking folk. I know there’s a stereotype, but I’ve seen some people do amazing work while under the influence of marijuana. Take, for example, Montel Williams: