Girl’s really going all out, here, huh? First we’re treated to photos of her nether-regions when she elected not to wear panties underneath a Pilates dress (it’s a thing, guys; Miley‘s trying to trademark Pilates dresses, if that doesn’t sound entirely too ridiculous to you like it does me), and now she’s exposing sideboob on a shopping trip with her mom. Out of these two ladies, I’d be more inclined to think that Mother Tish would be showing us her goods, and trying to leave Miley in the dust when it comes to being voted Trashiest Trashbag This Side of Trashland, but Miley’s gone and outdone the lady who birthed her.

WOO BRALESS SIDEBOOB.

Also, Miley’s gone ahead and fully endorsed Ashey Judd for Ashley’s recent misogynist-bashing essay, and claims that the article was “music to her ears”:

“Thank you @AshleyJudd This article was music to my ears. Beautifully said and beyond inspiring. I hope everyone woman reads this.”

Miley, as you may know, claims that people are saying she’s anorexic because she’s lost weight in recent weeks, but she attributes it to going gluten-free. I guess the only thing I’ve got to say about that is “penis cake and beer.” Chock-full of gluten, right? According to Miley, though, it’s a good thing she’s laid off the glutes – but going as far as recommending it to everyone? Well, that part’s come under fire, because experts say that telling people they should all go gluten-free even if they don’t have to is a silly thing to say:

Rachel Begun, a registered dietitian and food industry consultant, told Today’s Health that only those who have been diagnosed with a gluten-related disorder should go on a gluten-free diet. In fact, Begun said “People who go gluten-free may gain weight if they rely mostly on highly-processed gluten free foods, many of which tend to be higher in fat, calories and sugar than their gluten-containing counterparts.”

Karen Ansel, also a registered dietitian and spokeswoman for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, agreed. “There’s absolutely no evidence that a gluten-free diet promotes weight loss,” Ansel explained. “However, there is data that indicates that following a gluten-free diet can result in a diet that’s low in key nutrients — especially iron, zinc and B vitamins such as folate and niacin.”

I mean, jeez, Miley. What are you trying to do, kill people out there? Make them – gasp! – fat? Just stick to showing us your sideboob, girl. You’ve got that on lockdown.

Did you know? First she thought we thought that her junk “engagement ring” was the real thing, so she had to make a statement to dispel those rumors, and now, because she’s looking all hot and toned because of all them PILATES, she apparently wants us to think that she’s anorexic, even though she’s, like, totally not.

From The Sun:

She fuelled speculation when she posted a photo of herself smelling, but refusing to eat, fast food on Twitter.

Miley wrote: “I can’t eat it. So I’m just gonna smell the s**t out of it! My mouth is literally watering.”

Her upload triggered a torrent of accusations that she has turned to extreme dieting to keep the weight off.

However, she’s been quick to lambast such claims, insisting her fast food snub was due to medical and health reasons.

She tweeted: “For everyone calling me anorexic I have a gluten and lactose allergy. It’s not about weight it’s about health.

“Gluten is c**p anyway!… I ate today at Easter lunch but all of it was healthy and even more fulfilling! Health is happiness!”

Furthermore, Miley urged her fans to cut gluten out of their diets and reap the rewards.

She wrote: “Everyone should try no gluten for a week! The change in your skin, physical and mental health is amazing! You won’t go back!”

Oh dear. Are we convinced yet? Are we? I know that we’ve all been really, really concerned that Miley’s anorexic because she’s doing things like showing her vagina to the free world, but honestly. It’s nothing but good, old-fashioned attention-whoring. It’s the way of the world, folks. Miley’s not anorexic. She’s just starved for attention.

No, really, I’m actually not joking. This is literally what she wore to her Pilates class, and all of those bangle bracelets on her left wrist do nothing to dispel the rumors that she’s cutting, either. I don’t know what’s less believable coming out of a Pilates class – the miniskirt, the bracelets, or the bra. I mean, have you ever done Pilates? It’s not exactly the most comfortable thing to do in a regular bra. Sports bras and all of the support they offer are really kind of necessary for all of that bending, twisting, and heaving. Jeez.

Anyway, things seem like they’re kind of going downhill fast for old Miley-girl here. The whole maybe-being-shot-down for engagement by Liam Hemsworth thing, the cutting thing … It’s like everything’s just spiraling out of control for girlfriend. I mean, in this very dress, an upskirt shot was caught, and folks, it’s like Atlantis. Everyone speculated as to whether or not its very existence was real, and here, on a random day, we’re blindsided by the fact that Miley Cyrus does, in fact, have a vagina.

You can jump in for the photo, and before any of you get all up on your high horses (but still find yourself peeking at the photo), yes – she is eighteen now, OK?

I suppose my only other question pertaining to Miley’s choice of exercise-wear is “Who wears a regular bra to Pilates, but no panties? Come on!

(more…)

I know. It just about killed me to have to even type that headline, because despite all of my ragging on Miley for this and that and the other thing, I think she’s probably a pretty decent chick. She’s young, she’s having fun, and all joking aside, I was probably pretty much like her nine years ago and age nineteen. Hell, I know I was much like her at age nineteen, drunken table-dancing, bong videos, phallic pastries and all. We’re all pretty much there at one point in our lives, you know, and unlike – ahem – some people, it’s usually when we’re young and hot and can just about get away with anything we want.

Miley’s a pretty good egg, and if there’s something going on here, it’s up to her friends and family to help her do something before she self-destructs. The top photo too obscure to tell? Well, look at this one:

You can clearly see several defined lines that could possibly be some kind of scarring. And if that doesn’t convince you that something definitely scar-looking is hanging out on the inside of her wrist and arm, check out this shot:

So … yeah. There’s definitely something there, and I’m actually kind of concerned for Miley. If these aren’t just regular wear-and-tear scratches that girls get from, I don’t know, walking their dogs and eating penis cake, then there’s definitely an issue there that needs to be handled. I don’t think anyone wants her to have to go through what Demi Lovato did before she got help, you know?

So far there’s been no response from Miley’s camp about the alleged scars, nor has there been a whole lot of internet coverage to the magnitude that you’d expect over something like this. These photos, though, they kind of tell a disturbing story. I just hope it’s not a true one.

What do you guys think – cutting scars or … I don’t know what.

… But sources are saying that she’s not engaged. Ugh. From People:

The sizable rock has generated talk that she and Liam Hemsworth are taking their relationship to the next level and getting engaged. But, are they?

Cyrus went to Twitter again on Monday to clear things up.

“I’m not engaged,” she writes. “I’ve worn this same ring on this finger since November! People just wanna find something to (talk) about! It’s a topaz people!

Indeed, the ring was very much in evidence Saturday night when Cyrus and her Hunger Games beau, 22, attended Muhammad Ali’s Celebrity Fight Night XVVIII in Phoenix together.

So again, she’s still wearing the crappy ring. The crappy ring that’s “been on her finger since November” probably HAS been there the entire time because the green stain from the fake-ass gold has forever etched itself into her skin. No doubt. And it’s topaz? F-cking right it is. Jeez Louise, guys.

Girl’s probably chomping at the bit with those … those biters for Liam to pop the question, but this is one of those things that’s probably better left unaddressed. She might start thinking those thoughts and if she does, man. This engagement thing will just not go away until Liam’s DEAD.

Because this. This would be too easy of an out to have daddy Billy Ray justifying his daughter’s unwed sexcapades. “Well they’s engaged, y’all!” BILLY RAY. SHUT UP. WE DO NOT CARE.

But this is a photo of Miley’s all-important ring hand, and golly gee, what’s that there on her ring finger? Yeah, it’s a ring, but Miley’s claiming the photo is because of nail foundation:

“I am soooo obsessed with @jennahipp nail foundations! It looks so chic and classic!”

In short, do I believe that Miley‘s engaged? Nah. Nah way, actually. Getting engaged would be the biggest news story of the decade in her mind, and she’s not going to spoil it for all of the ‘big’ magazines that want to run the exclusive story and pay the big bucks for photos of her rock. I know that Miley thinks Liam’s “the one” – oh, what, you didn’t hear? Check it out, right from Hollywood Life, who claim they have an exclusive source with knowledge that Miley’s hinting around at getting hitched and popping out babies:

“It couldn’t be better between the both of them. They are figuring out where to spend the holidays together, but it will be together and they are madly in love and inseparable. [Miley] thinks Liam is the one.”

Oh Lord. Can you just smell the desperation? It has a bouquet quite like wet flannel, hay, that smell you get when you take your retainer out, and cigarettes.

Plus, this ring? Honestly, I just don’t know. It’s really, really shitty-looking, guys. Liam could do so, so much better (as I’ve been telling him, but his publicist is starting to throw words like ‘stalking’ and ‘lawsuit’ around, so I might have to lay low for a little while now).