Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus is doing it all wrong, I’m afraid…

miley cyrus

Miley Cyrus was hanging around in NYC between dates on her Bangerz tour (which seems like it’s been going on for ages, I might add), and I’m not quite sure what was happening with anything she was doing. First of all, she carried her latest dog around with her a lot – a dog which is way too big to be carried and definitely not giving off the “I’m a rich socialite with a very tiny dog” vibe I think she must have been going for. Second of all, the clothes? The hair? I’m just so confused.

Enjoy several pictures taken over the course of several days of Miley… just being Miley, I suppose. Clue me in if you have any idea what the hell is happening in any of them.

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Miley Cyrus has been secretly dating this dude for 9 months

miley cyrus mike will made it

Miley Cyrus sucks and rides inflatable dicks on stage for her Bangerz tour pretty much every night, so one might conclude that she’s single and desperate to mingle. Not so, says US Weekly, who claims that she’s actually secretly been dating Mike Will Made It for the past nine months! (P.S. What a stupid name, eh?)

“Everybody in her circle knows they’ve been together this whole time,” a source close to the “Wrecking Ball” singer tells Us. Cyrus, 21, first started seeing the producer, 25, soon after splitting from her fiance Liam Hemsworth in September 2013.

Another insider tells Us the duo have become “pretty serious.” The “23″ hitmaker has even won over Cyrus’ mom, Tish Cyrus. “Tish says he’s part of the family,” the insider tells Us.

Since being on her Bangerz tour, Cyrus has made a point to meet up with Mike Will Made-It. Despite not always being in the same city, the couple make sure to “talk and text all day, every day,” the Cyrus source says.

A witness tells Us the twosome were “all over each other” at a BET Awards bash on June 28. Not to mention, Us Weekly exclusively learned back in October 2013 that Cyrus spent a majority of her album release party “grinding all over [Mike Will Made-It], kissing his neck.”

Okay, first of all, how can a man who produced the genius that was Rihanna‘s ‘Pour It Up’ take Miley Cyrus seriously? How can ANYONE take Miley seriously? This whole thing seems like such a disaster, but I suppose if you meet a 21-year-old desperate to date a black guy (sorry, gotta call it like I see it, guys), you go for it? Or something?

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Miley Cyrus made a drug and nudity-filled movie with Moby and Wayne Coyne

miley cyrus

First of all, where the hell has Moby been lately? You know, besides sitting alone in his apartment thinking about what a great artist he is and how no one understands music like he does. He seems to come out of hiding long enough to collaborate with Miley Cyrus and getting-weirder-by-the-day Wayne Coyne on a new music video/movie that’s trippy in all the wrong ways and is in no way worth watching. But please, I encourage you to do it anyway:

If this is what art is now, God help us all.

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Miley Cyrus (and friends) got a tattoo for her dead dog

miley cyrus 6

Miley Cyrus should probably be banned from contact with animals for life, considering every dog she owns dies young or gets abandoned quickly after she takes it in/buys it/however she gets it. Remember her 2-year-old Alaskan Klee Kai called Floyd that died seemingly out of nowhere? (And that’s not even mentioning Lila, another of her dogs that died.) Several more dogs have come and gone since then, and she even very recently got a new puppy called Emu Coyne Cyrus, but Floyd has apparently not been forgotten.

Miley, Wayne Coyne from The Flaming Lips and some other randoms got a tattoo this weekend at an LA house party in memory of Floyd and I really don’t get what’s happening. As in, why the hell is Wayne Coyne so into hanging out with Miley (to the point where her new dog’s middle name is named after him and he’s getting a tattoo for her dead dog that he never met?), why are her friends getting tattoos for a dead dog they never owned, why is she still sticking her tongue out when I thought she was retiring that move…. the questions go on and on.

If you want to see this thing up close and personal, here ya go:

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Here are some more photos from this apparently wild event, which… okay, whatever.

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Miley Cyrus won’t stop getting new dogs

miley cyrus emu

Remember how Miley Cyrus was all distraught over her dog dying, and then she went out and adopted a new puppy, only to decide she didn’t want it after all and gave it away? Well, she’s back in the game and has ANOTHER new dog now – a little collie called Emu Coyne Cyrus, as she revealed on Instagram.

The dog is cute, sure, but I feel like the girl has a serious problem when it comes to pets. If she “wasn’t ready” to have a dog a few weeks ago and gave it back, why would this one be any different? What, if it shits on the floor then suddenly she’s going to go into mourning again and get rid of this one, too? SMH.

And, as is the case with Miley, a selfie wouldn’t be a selfie without some degree of nudity. Here we go!

miley cyrus dog

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Miley Cyrus uses 14-year-old sister Noah as “pussy police”

miley cyrus noah cyrus

Oh, Miley Cyrus. So young, so stupid, so incredibly try-hard. Miley is legally an adult and can act like an idiot all she wants – that’s her God-given right. However, she apparently wants to pull her 14-year-old sister Noah into the mix, and uses her younger sibling as the “pussy police” during her concerts to make sure her entire vagina isn’t exposed to the world as she twerks, grinds and does whatever the hell else is going on on stage.

Here’s how she explained it on Australia’s 2Day radio show:

“You just have to hope to God that this unitard covers everything that it has to cover,” Miley hilariously revealed. “[Noah's] the p***y police. She makes sure that everything is staying intact. Especially on ‘Love, Money, Party.’ I’m up on this car, so my little sister stays down there and is like ‘pull to the right, something’s coming out!’ She stays there and makes sure I’m all good.”

“She does the dances with me the whole time,” Miley added. “Sometimes she’ll be doing them wrong and I’ll notice that I’m following her and I’m not doing the dance that I’m supposed to be doing. I’ll just be doing whatever she’s doing. So it’s fun, we just play with each other like the entire show.”

I mean… whatever. Definitely corrupt your young sister and turn her trashy before her time, as well, girl. Great idea. Here’s a video of her actually saying this bullshit and revealing that she doesn’t shave her legs because she has amazing tights:

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Miley Cyrus has been granted a 3-year restraining order against a crazed fan

miley cyrus

Because unfortunately people are severely mentally unstable, a crazed Miley Cyrus fan claimed he’d rather die than live without her, prompting Miley to become terrified for her life and seek a restraining order against this nutcase. Well, on Monday, a judge granted that order, giving her a permanent order against the weirdo, named Devon Meek.

From TMZ:

Miley Cyrus cannot be contacted by an obsessed fan who says he’d rather die than live without her … a judge just ruled the guy can’t come anywhere near her for 3 years.

Lawyers for Miley were in court today getting a permanent restraining order against Devon Meek … who was arrested May 16 near her home. He told cops if he couldn’t meet Miley, they might as well shoot him in the head.

Meek must stay 100 yards away from Miley for three years … he also can’t come near any of the venues where she performs … according to the court order.

Meek claims he hears screaming voices in his head and thinks Miley is talking to him through the radio.

Law enforcement sources tell us … he is still being held for psychiatric treatment, and he’s vowed to keep pursuing Cyrus even when he’s released from the hospital.

Between this asshole and the various robberies she’s had at her home over the past couple of years, I don’t think it’s much fun to be Miley Cyrus at the moment. Not that it ever really is, to be honest, but… I kinda feel bad for her. No one deserves to be stalked or to have to fear for their safety. The hospital needs to hold onto this guy permanently.

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