Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus uses 14-year-old sister Noah as “pussy police”

miley cyrus noah cyrus

Oh, Miley Cyrus. So young, so stupid, so incredibly try-hard. Miley is legally an adult and can act like an idiot all she wants – that’s her God-given right. However, she apparently wants to pull her 14-year-old sister Noah into the mix, and uses her younger sibling as the “pussy police” during her concerts to make sure her entire vagina isn’t exposed to the world as she twerks, grinds and does whatever the hell else is going on on stage.

Here’s how she explained it on Australia’s 2Day radio show:

“You just have to hope to God that this unitard covers everything that it has to cover,” Miley hilariously revealed. “[Noah's] the p***y police. She makes sure that everything is staying intact. Especially on ‘Love, Money, Party.’ I’m up on this car, so my little sister stays down there and is like ‘pull to the right, something’s coming out!’ She stays there and makes sure I’m all good.”

“She does the dances with me the whole time,” Miley added. “Sometimes she’ll be doing them wrong and I’ll notice that I’m following her and I’m not doing the dance that I’m supposed to be doing. I’ll just be doing whatever she’s doing. So it’s fun, we just play with each other like the entire show.”

I mean… whatever. Definitely corrupt your young sister and turn her trashy before her time, as well, girl. Great idea. Here’s a video of her actually saying this bullshit and revealing that she doesn’t shave her legs because she has amazing tights:

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Miley Cyrus has been granted a 3-year restraining order against a crazed fan

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Because unfortunately people are severely mentally unstable, a crazed Miley Cyrus fan claimed he’d rather die than live without her, prompting Miley to become terrified for her life and seek a restraining order against this nutcase. Well, on Monday, a judge granted that order, giving her a permanent order against the weirdo, named Devon Meek.

From TMZ:

Miley Cyrus cannot be contacted by an obsessed fan who says he’d rather die than live without her … a judge just ruled the guy can’t come anywhere near her for 3 years.

Lawyers for Miley were in court today getting a permanent restraining order against Devon Meek … who was arrested May 16 near her home. He told cops if he couldn’t meet Miley, they might as well shoot him in the head.

Meek must stay 100 yards away from Miley for three years … he also can’t come near any of the venues where she performs … according to the court order.

Meek claims he hears screaming voices in his head and thinks Miley is talking to him through the radio.

Law enforcement sources tell us … he is still being held for psychiatric treatment, and he’s vowed to keep pursuing Cyrus even when he’s released from the hospital.

Between this asshole and the various robberies she’s had at her home over the past couple of years, I don’t think it’s much fun to be Miley Cyrus at the moment. Not that it ever really is, to be honest, but… I kinda feel bad for her. No one deserves to be stalked or to have to fear for their safety. The hospital needs to hold onto this guy permanently.

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Dolly Parton defends Miley Cyrus: ‘People thought I was trashy, too’

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If you don’t love Dolly Parton, you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself. She’s amazing! She’s a music legend and also hilarious as a personality, as well. So when Dolly says we all oughta be a little nicer to Miley Cyrus (who is her goddaughter, by the way), we should probably listen to her, right? I mean… right?

From the Sunday Times Magazine (via People):

“Yeah, well I do, ’cause back in the day, doing my own things my own way, and dressing sexy and showing my cleavage and all that, I got a lot of criticism. Lots of people thought I was making a mistake and that I was just trashy, which I was,” says the singer and songwriter, 68.

“So I did go through that, but I don’t give her advice. Everyone has to walk this journey according to their own rules. That’s what she’s doing. And I lurve her.”

“I’ve known her daddy [Billy Ray Cyrus] the many years he’s been in the business. I’ve watched her grow up,” Parton says. “She’s a smart girl. She had to go to extremes to get her point across. I think she got the point across.”

I mean, in a sense, I do see her point. People did think Dolly was trashy, but I can pretty much guarantee that Dolly wasn’t on stage simulating blowjobs on a giant blow up penis before riding it or spreading her ass cheeks as she pushes them open to an arena audience. There’s a slight difference there, I fear.

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New song: Miley Cyrus – ‘Last Goodbye’

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Look, we can all talk shit about Miley Cyrus until we’re blue in the face, but let’s just be real with each other for a minute: she makes really, really catchy pop music. I want it to be shitty – I want it to suck so I can feel vindicated in thinking she’s a hot mess (and she totally is), but… sorry, no. She does pop music well, and a new song called ‘Last Goodbye’ that just leaked is a perfect example of this.

What do you think? This was apparently a B-Side to Bangerz and yeah, it’s a bit all over the place vocally, but I dunno, there’s something about it I like.

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Someone broke into Miley Cyrus’ house again

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Poor Miley Cyrus can’t catch a break – her house has been broken into AGAIN, and they actually stole a Maserati and lots of expensive jewelry while they were there. Luckily she’s okay as she wasn’t home at the time.

From TMZ:

Police are investigating a possible break-in at Miley Cyrus’ home in the Valley AGAIN … TMZ has learned.

Law enforcement sources tell us Miley’s assistant came home around midnight Saturday/Sunday morning when she noticed things were not in the right place — so she called cops.

We’re told once again there was no sign of forced entry … so officers will review Miley’s security footage to look for any clues. A fingerprint unit is also on the way to her house.

Miley was not home at the time.

Cops say the suspects are a man and woman who scaled a fence and got inside Miley’s garage.

This has shades of a Burglar Bunch-type break — when the stars are out of the country, they get hit.

As for the Maserati — it was a 2014 white, 4-door Quattroporte and usually runs around $102k.

Luckily Miley is loaded and is making millions out on the Bangerz tour so she’ll hardly notice the difference, but homegirl needs to invest in a better security system or something.

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Miley Cyrus lost her mind over Liam Hemsworth on stage

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Miley Cyrus is back to terrorizing the world’s children by grinding on inflatable penises – something she did apparently to show ex-fiancé Liam Hemsworth exactly what she thinks of him. Well, that’s classy. While on stage last night, she sorta “explained” what that was all about and let loose in a bizarre rant that rivals Kanye West‘s.

In case you’re at work and can’t watch that – or just want to save your eardrums – here’s what she has to say before launching into ‘Wrecking Ball’:

And every time you get in your car, you’re going to hear my fucking song on the fucking radio, you piece of shit. That’s right. And then I’m gonna take all my clothes off, I’m gonna sit on a big, giant dick – sometimes two – I’m gonna swing around, and then I’m gonna hold the record for the most-watched music video on Vevo. So then — you know, you can tell a lot about a person—I think you can tell how big their dick is by how much confidence they have usually, and if I was a dude I’d probably have a really big dick, ‘cause I feel really good about myself now. So I’m gonna tell those motherfuckers that broke my heart, particularly one, to suck my fat dick and to enjoy hearing this song for the rest of your life. This song is called Wrecking Ball.

LOL, what? Girl, stay off the drugs and chill. This is just getting sloppy.

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