Last week, Sgt. Scott Moore asked Mila Kunis to the annual Marine Corps Ball, and with some encouragement from Justin Timberlake, the lady said yes.

Next, Kelsey De Santis asked Timberlake to be her date, and he totally accepted. Well played, Corporal De Santis.

But now, not one to be outdone, Sgt. Ray Lewis is asking Betty White to accompany him to the same dance.

“She’s funny, she’s sweet, she’s mature,” the Marine sergeant says in his video, a long-stemmed rose in hand. “She’s the all-around perfect woman.”

Sgt. Lewis pleads a pretty good case, too: the young veteran did tours of both Afghanistan and Iraq and, according to a recent tweet, he plans to serenade Ms. White with a song next.

Internet! Let’s make this happen!

I loathe this charmingly suggestive PSA, hosted by Friends With Benefits‘ Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis. Why, you ask?

First of all, I hate Justin Timberlake’s burgeoning movie career. Sure, he’s cute. Sure, he has innate comedic timing. You know what he doesn’t have? A current Billboard hit. Get back to it, Timberlake! Dance for us! Dance!

But more importantly, I hate it when Justin Timberlake stands too close to Mila Kunis like this. In the PSA video, when he feels up Mila’s butt and makes a “Hmm” face, I think my brain might explode. This pretend-couple’s hotness may actually kill me.

On why “friends with benefits” couplings are always a bad decision, from next month’s Elle:

“It is such a good idea—until it’s a bad idea,” [Timberlake] says.

Kunis certainly agrees. “Ultimately, it ends when someone wants to go and get serious with somebody. More times than not, a person catches feelings and somebody gets hurt,” she says. “When a female orgasms, a hormone gets released. I’ve never met a girl who can have sex without an ounce of feeling.”

Interrupting his costar, Timberlake asks: “Is that just a woman convincing herself so she feels like it’s okay to have sex with someone?”

“Fifty-fifty,” Kunis, 27, says.

I take serious issue with Kunis’s statement (the hormone is oxytocin, by the way, and it isn’t only a lady thing). Did you know that, during a lady’s big O, women have no emotional feelings at all? Science! Science says to have casual sex!

If you need me, I’ll be over here, working on my dissertation.

Another day, another classy, classy lady leaking details of her hook up with a celebrity to the press.

Irene Lopez, a Spanish porn star, was recently seen and photographed hanging out with former child star and ex-boyfriend of Mila Kunis, Macaulay Culkin, at a Barcelona live sex club. When asked about her time spent with Mac, Irene managed to act surprised while providing more information to the press, saying, “The last time I was with him, no one found out about it. I don’t know what happened this time that the newspaper heard about it.”

The last time? You mean you’ve been “with him” more than once, girl?

Unlike other porn stars who have done the damn thing with famous dudes best known for their relationships with other ladies, Irene seems to “care” about Mila and Macaulay’s recently canned relationship saying, “If there is a possibility that he goes back with Mila, I don’t want to be an obstacle. The breakup is really fresh. I don’t want to cause him any harm. He’s a good person.”

I love that she says she doesn’t want to be an obstacle, as if it may be difficult for Macaulay to get over her or like Mila may be jealous. Delusional!

Let’s be real: There’s hardly ever a nail in the coffin more final than whomever your ex fucks after you, and a porn star just may be the worst option ever.

Speaking of folks “pulling a Britney”, Mila Kunis was caught looking an awful lot like the trashy pop princess during downtime at a photo shoot in LA yesterday. The Black Swan actress sucked down a venti iced beverage with a familiar green straw and puffed away on a cig. Later she threw her hair up in a sloppy bun and munched on a sandwich.

These photos are a day-maker because not only do they remind me so much of the legendary Ms. Spears during her notorious 2006-2008 meltdown, but also because they reinforce what I’ve always thought about Mila: Deep down she’s kind of a trashy ho.  And I love trashy hos.

Today we’re learning that Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin have officially split, and since we’ve so rarely seen the two together (I assumed they’d broken up long ago) and Mila has Black Swan to promote, maybe that blind item from a few weeks ago was referring to them?

From the NYP:

Kunis’ rep confirms that she and one-time child star Macaulay Culkin have gone their separate ways. “The split was amicable, and they remain close friends,” her rep said. Kunis started dating Culkin seven years ago, when she starred as the snobby “Jackie” character in “That ’70s Show.” A source said the couple split some time ago but has kept it low-key while Kunis promotes the movie.

Whoa! Curve ball! It seems like Mila and Macaulay are a perfect fit for the blind item. Guess they never to came to mind because they were so super DL about their doings for years and years, and if two folks could break up and quickly move on, I’m guessing it’s the smokin’ Mila and mega-loaded Macaulay.

Anyone else need more convincing?

“I remember them being like, ‘How do you get guys to a ballet movie? How do you get girls to a thriller?’ And the answer is a lesbian scene. Everyone wants to see that.”

Apparently being pregnant makes you a genius, because Natalie Portman has come out with one of the most ingenious statements I’ve probably ever heard. I mean, I know when I was pregnant, I was like fucking Nostradamus. I’d sit on my cushy ass pillow (didn’t want to get those awful hemorrhoid things that I’d heard so much about) all zen-like and I’d channel all sorts of shit – who’d win the pennant, the next celebrity couple to split, even what sexual position my across-the-street neighbors were messing with that night (OK, that was totally the telescope I had hidden under the bed, but what do you expect? It’s not like I was having sex of my own in those days). Pregnancy?  Equates innate brilliance.

But honestly. That’s some wicked smart marketing there. How to get guys to attend a chick flick? Throw some girl-on-girl muff diving and feisty tit grabbing into the mix and it’s sure to be a hit – just ask the nominating committee over at the Golden Globe foundation.

Duly noted, Nat, and thanks for the insight.