No, it’s actually kind of cute, really, if you can get past the fact that Megan doesn’t want anything to do with non-English-speaking men.

The commercial is for CCAA, which is a Brazilian-based language school that is trying to implement a country-wide campaign to push for a universal education of the English language. In short, two young men are shipwrecked (plane-wrecked?) on “Megan Fox Island,” and upon finding out that the men aren’t bilingual, Megan captures them in a net and ships them off to – you guessed it – “Mike Tyson Island.”

I’ll admit, the island names aren’t really all that creative, and the idea of being turned off because someone speaks a different language is kind of questionable, but you can’t deny that Megan Fox is still so, so hot, and Mike Tyson, though he only speaks five words, can deliver his lines and be funny at the same time.

What else has Megan Fox been up to, though, you ask? Well … this commercial here, this is pretty much it. And the only thing she’s really got on the horizon is that possibility of yanking Lindsay Lohan‘s Liz Taylor role in that Lifetime movie that’s supposed to be made.

Megan also recently visited Turkey to film a Doritos commercial (!), and did a few amusing interviews, one of which where she admitted to not knowing that Istanbul is not some small town in Turkey. Mind the translation, as the interview excerpt came from a Turkish newspaper:

SABA TÜMER: Hi Megan, how are you? It’s your first time in Turkey, you just arrived yesterday? What did you know about Turkey prior to your visit? What did you expected and what have you seen so far here?

MEGAN FOX: I knew a few things about Turkey. Like you have the most ancient temple on earth … and it is not far from where we are right now.

SABA TÜMER: And you made this research before or after the offer for the [Doritos] ad was made?

MEGAN FOX: I knew this already, because I’ve watched a show called ”Ancient Aliens”. It sounds silly, but it is about ancient temples and pyramids. I watched the special episode about this temple. I can’t pronounce it correctly right now, but it is a ‘Göbekli Tepe’.

(more…)

So I finally watched the Roast of Charlie Sheen yesterday—it aired Monday night, yes, but I was busy—and I have to admit this Roast was pretty good. Not Bob Saget good, but then again, what is?

There was a real likelihood of the evening falling flat. How do you parody a parody? How do you make light of wife-beating? And who invites Mike Tyson to do stand-up, even? But the jokes were scathing, and the Roast bit to the quick. I’ve rolled my eyes at Charlie Sheen‘s recent I-Don’t-Have-a-Job Humble Pie Remorse Tour, and I don’t like him, but he sure did take his lumps like a champ. (Some critics are saying the jokes weren’t mean enough, but seriously, how many more jokes about Sheen ruining his kids’ lives did we really need?)

Warming Glow has compiled a comprehensive guide to some of the best zings of the night. Here’s a sampling.

Comedian Anthony Jeselnik, to Charlie Sheen:

- “Every minute of your life looks like the first two minutes of SVU.”

- “The only reason you got on TV in the first place is because God hates Michael J. Fox.” (Cut to actor Richard Kind, in the audience, having a heart attack.)

Jeffrey Ross:

- “If you’re ‘winning’, this must not be a child custody hearing. The only time your kids get to see you is in reruns. Don’t you want to live to see their first 12 steps?”

Jon Lovitz:

- “How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men!”

(more…)

Mike Tyson posted this photo to Twitter two days ago (via), along with the caption, “Moments like this make everything all worth it. Check out my young fan with my face tattoo.”

Frankly, it was irresponsible of Tyson to post this photo. What if tattoo artist S. Victor Whitmill tries to sue the pants off this baby? (See also.)

I know you guys have been really curious about what Mike Tyson has been doing with his life.  I know you read articles on this site and think “Yeah, that Lindsay Lohan is great and all, but what’s Mike been up to?”  Well, consider this your lucky day, because I’m here to let you in on the latest development: birds.

Pigeons, to be exact.  To be even more exact, 2,500 pigeons. Mike Tyson owns 2,500 pigeons.  He says that he has “birds everywhere that I go,” and that he has them “at different homes that I live and hang out at.”  There’s even going to be a documentary about his pets, set to be aired next year.  And I think that is just bananas.

I’m not trying to come down on birds, but I hate birds.  I’m not saying that they should be systematically eradicated from the earth, I’m just saying that they make shitty pets.  They just make noise and peck at you and scratch you and get caught in your hair, and even though you know that the bird is way more freaked out than you, you can’t help but to flail and scream because there is a creature tangled up on your head. And have you ever tried to pet a bird?  So unsatisfying.

The point is this: Mike Tyson has officially gone crazy.  I mean, I know that he’s always been crazy, but 2,500 birds is a new level.  That is Heidi Fleiss crazy, and that is not a place where you want to be.

Zach Braff (yum) is escorted onstage at Spike TV’s 7th annual Video Game Awards. Other winners and presenters included Olivia Wilde, my girl crush Tricia Helfer, and the cast of Jersey Shore onstage with Mike Tyson (my very soul cringes at the possible dialogue).

All that and more in the gallery!

I have to say, I don’t have a lot of sympathy for the photog who got his ass punched and bloodied by Mike Tyson at LAX on Wednesday. Tyson was trying to find his misplaced luggage after a flight from London with his wife and 10-month-old daughter when the photog reportedly got in his face. Look, I get it, violence is never the answer, but you’ve gotta have some sort of death wish to be anything but uber-polite to Mike Tyson, especially when he’s with his family. The guy’s had a hell of a year, and I don’t blame him for taking a zero-tolerance policy with the paps.

We’re told Tyson was at a ticket counter at the United Airlines terminal when the incident occurred. The photographer got punched in the face, hit the ground, got up and began walking, leaving a trail of blood. An LAPD spokesperson said the photographer suffered a minor laceration to the forehead.

Someone at the scene tells TMZ … the photographer got very close to Tyson before the boxer struck him. Our says there’s blood on the ground and Mike was taken away in a squad car. We’re told an ambulance was dispatched at 4:39 PM to LAX and the paparazzo was transported to a local hospital.

Cops say Tyson and the photographer performed citizen’s arrests on each other — both are expected to be booked for misdemeanor battery. Cops also said witnesses backed both stories … so that could get interesting.

If Tyson is prosecuted, given that he’s a former boxing champ, the charge could end up being assault with a deadly weapon.

Okay, question: How do you actually perform a citizen’s arrest? Is that a real thing? Because one time this angry and probably undersexed lady on the street yelled at me for tossing a cigarette on the sidewalk, and she was all like, “That’s illegal, you know” and I was all like, “Then you should probably perform a citizen’s arrest, bitch” and afterward I was all like, “I wonder if she actually could have done that.”