Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Mary-Kate Olsen

Mary-Kate Olsen Is Now Shacking Up with Her Creepy Boyfriend

A photo of Olivier Sarkozy and Mary-Kate Olsen

Oh, gross. I feel so incredibly gross right now. Up until this point, Sarah has always had the pleasure of talking to you guys about Mary-Kate Olsen and her boyfriend, Olivier Sarkozy. I’d always read them and shuddered and then quickly moved on, because eww, but it’s my turn now. Because now, Mary-Kate and Olivier are taking this thing to the next level. They’re roomies!

From the New York Post:

Obviously he’s into twins. Olivier Sarkozy, 42, the much older beau of elf-like Mary-Kate Olsen, 26, has plunked down $6.25 million for a storied East 10th Street townhouse, which, like the “Full House” star, has a twin. The half-brother of the former French president bought the pad alone, but plans to share the palatial 146-year-old love nest with Olsen, sources said.

Sarkozy is buying it because he and Olsen “like that it is old,” a real estate insider told The Post’s Jennifer Gould Keil. The 4,200-square-foot home, built the year Abraham Lincoln took office, was designed by architect James Renwick Jr., best-known for St. Patrick’s Cathedral and the Smithsonian. Sarkozy paid the full asking price for the five-story house with nine fireplaces, a Juliet balcony in front and a large rear garden. The townhouse is in the St. Mark’s historic district, but the couple can gut the inside so long as they keep the façade intact. It isn’t clear how much renovation they plan to do, although the plumbing and kitchen need to be completely updated. Listing broker Jason Haber, CEO of Rubicon Property, declined to comment.

The sale has brokers wondering if Mary-Kate’s sister Ashley will snap up the house’s twin, which was initially being sold as a package with its next-door neighbor but recently was taken off the market. Sarkozy — whose ex-wife, Charlotte, has blasted his May/December relationship with Olsen as “grotesque” — finally unloaded his Upper East Side townhouse earlier this year for $8.4 million by slashing the price from $11.95 million after it languished without a buyer. A rep for Olsen did not comment.

Gross.

And it’s not even their age difference that I find icky – I think that if two consenting adults want to have a relationship, that’s whatever, and the only I time it really weirds me out is when there’s a ridiculous amount immaturity involved, Casper Smart – it’s just the whole entire complete package. Or, ok, just look at this picture:

A photo of Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy

The tall man is Olivier, and the two ladies on his arms are Mary-Kate and his 12-year-old daughter. But which is which? If it wasn’t for Mary-Kate’s homeless fashion, you wouldn’t be able to tell. And that’s creepy.

Does anyone else ever watch reruns of Full House and just think “Jesus Christ, what happened here?”

Stars Without Makeup: Mary-Kate Olsen

photo of mary kate olsen pictures no makeup photo
You know how sometimes when a person gets a cat or a dog, or even a car, really, they sometimes resemble that of which they’ve chosen? Or at some point, take on an uncanny resemblance to their cat, dog, car, or—in this particular case—boyfriend? Because being with a forty-two year old man has done just that for the young, twenty-five year-old Mary Kate—it’s made her look exactly like a forty-two year old man. Granted, a forty-two year-old man with long hair so … oh, does she look like Johnny Depp, now, maybe? Because the outfit*, for the love of God, just screams “I just left Vanessa Paradis for a sub-par actress who tickles my c-ck with her fake blonde hair and acrylic nails.”

Lookin’ good, girl.

*Actually, no—everything but the shoes scream “Johnny Depp.” The shoes? They scream “UNCLE JESSE.”

More Creepy Photos Courtesy of Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy, WOOT!

photo of mary-kate olsen and olivier sarkozy pictures
Yeah, no. The more I think about this new couple and the more I envision them having sex and doing all sorts of lurid things, the more gagged-out I get. I mean, honestly. The girl under Olivier‘s other arm? It’s his daughter. Who’s probably somewhere around, what, twelve years old? Hanging out with MK and her daddy while they smoke like chimneys, walking around the streets of New York City? It’s a strange, strange circumstance. And nothing against small people—because I’m not exactly what you’d called “statuesque” at 5’3″—but Olivier Sarkozy is one big dude, and to be bumping uglies with someone who’s smaller than his pre-pubescent daughter is definitely kind of f-cking creepy.

Also, the brunette that looked pretty sweet and sophisticated a week ago looks lank and greasy and cheap in these pictures. One thing is for sure about being a brunette—if you don’t wash your hair at least once a week, Mary-Kate Olsen, you look like a homeless lady who steals from the Salvation Army, seeking grandma clothes. Only grandma clothes.

Oh. Wait.