Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Martha Stewart

Martha Stewart has some “advice” for Gwyneth Paltrow

martha stewart gwyneth paltrow

If there’s one thing we all need to learn in life, it’s this: do not fuck with Martha Stewart. She is not here for anyone’s bullshit. Also, she is not here for your copycat “lifestyle guru” nonsense because she did it first and she does it best, so sit down and stay in your lane. She had to put Blake Lively in her place and now she’s doing it to Gwyneth Paltrow, which is pretty much the best thing EVER (because who among us doesn’t dream of telling Gwyneth Paltrow off?).

From Page Six:

“She just needs to be quiet. She’s a movie star. If she were confident in her acting, she wouldn’t be trying to be Martha Stewart.”

LOL DAAAAAAAAMN. Martha Stewart is so ice cold… but she’s completely correct. No one is saying (at least I’m not) that a woman has to stick to one thing and can never do anything but the thing she’s known for, but to pretend as if Gwyneth Paltrow has any credibility whatsoever when it comes to telling anyone how to live their lives when she advocates eating 700 calories per day and says she’d rather kill herself than let her kids eat Cup-o-Noodles (FOOL!). I’m Team Martha all the way, on this matter and most others, as it happens.

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Martha Stewart on Blake Lively: ‘Let her try to be like me!’

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Ohhhh shit, Martha Stewart is throwing shade! Blake Lively may have just launched her own lifestyle website, but Martha is not worried about her coming for the homemaker crown and thinks Blake ought to stick to acting because she will never be on her plane of existence. LOVE IT.

From Page Six:

When asked about Lively’s new website, Preserve, Stewart, 72, seemed puzzled as to why the “Gossip Girl” actress would want to be anything like her.

“Let her try,” Stewart told the Huffington Post on Saturday. “I don’t mean that factiously! I mean, it’s stupid, she could be an actress! Why would you want to be me if you could be an actress? I just did a movie yesterday, though — I can’t even tell you about it — but I want to be Blake Lively.”

“Every day I get starstruck by somebody or something,” she continued. “It’s fun to admire and to learn from people who are better at everything than you are, so I have many heroes I worship, Derek Jeter — I can’t play baseball like Derek Jeter! And Beyoncé — I certainly can’t dance and sing like Beyoncé!”

Hilariously, Blake was rambling on to Vogue recently about how great Martha is and how she’s “generous and kind” and whatnot. And I’m sure she is – I don’t think Martha said any of this maliciously, but she does make a good point. What’s with certain actresses feeling the need to become a lifestyle brand unto themselves? What makes Blake Lively (or Gwyneth Paltrow, for instance) qualified to tell you what foods or $300 tea towels you need in your life? Martha may not have started in this industry either, but she at least did the work and knows what she’s talking about.

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Good news, gentlemen: Martha Stewart is looking for a regular “male companion”

martha stewart 3

Martha Stewart has always been a bit of a hot tamale, even if we’re more used to her as the super vanilla eternal grandma who can transform your home to a delicious, craft-filled heaven. Just because she may have made a name for herself among the more straight-laced crowd doesn’t mean she’s not in her sexual prime, and with that in mind, you might be pleased to know that she’s looking for a permanent man friend to share her days with.

From Haute Living New York:

“I’m looking for a partner,” she says matter-of-factly from a test kitchen at her New York headquarters. Surrounded by cast iron pots and pans, fresh herbs, and a bowl of fragrant lemons—her favorite—the 72-year-old business maven seems utterly in her element. Her no-nonsense, stone-faced demeanor has been replaced by a noticeable softness, one that only comes from a place of comfort, and dare we say, vulnerability. “Love will have something to do with it I’m sure,” she continues, a wry smile beginning to form. “I’d love to have a more regular male companion.”

With enviable looks and sharp business acumen, Stewart can surely have her pick of suitors, but the key, she says, is finding someone “appropriate.” “An amenable kind of person,” she clarifies. “There are plenty of people who I could date that would be inappropriate. Married men, for example.”

Oh snap, get it Martha! Frankly, I’m surprised she isn’t already married. She’s a lovely woman and always has been, physically speaking, but more than that, she seems intelligent, she can cook, she’d make your house gorgeous… what else are men after? Beer and sex? I’m sure she’d do some crazy Kama Sutra shit with you and then bring you an artisan ale from a hidden brewery in a magical forest. Get with it, dudes.

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