You guys, I almost totally forgot! The Entertainment Lawyer who scribes Crazy Days and Nights is finally “naming names,” as is his hallowed New Year’s Day tradition.
Emily hit on some of the year’s best, most salacious scandals, but you guys! THERE IS SO MUCH MORE.
January 2, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Jenn
“I don’t know. By the way, I enjoyed my first marriage. It’s definitely not something I regret. The experience was ultimately very positive. I love the kids that came out of it, and I could see no other route to take. But you move on, don’t you? You’re right, I stepped into a soap opera, and I lived in it for quite a long period of my life. I’ll probably be more eloquent on it 10 years from now. When you end up with a lot of the things you set out to chase and find that you’ve stumbled into all sorts of hollow victories, then you become deeply philosophical. I’m quite happy that that experience was accelerated for me. I’m glad I made money, in other words. And I’m glad I got married.”
This would be Madonna‘s most recent ex-husband, talking about what it was like being married to the Queen of Pop. While I think there’s probably a lot more to it than just that, I think he kind of clued us in on the fact that marriage to Madge was more than likely a f*cking three-ring circus, but a three-ring circus that made him rich in the end, and that’s apparently what mattered at the end of the thing.
Oh, that, and the kids. You go, Guy?
November 29, 2011 at 7:30 am by Sarah
See this face down here? This face on Madonna’s daughter, Lourdes?
It’s in direct response to what her mother’s doing these days at the same social events that Lourdes herself attends. What could it be, I’m sure you’re wondering? Throwing hydrangeas at people whilst shaking a sinewy fist? No, that’d be too classy for Madge. Rescuing unwanted children from third- and fourth-world countries? Nope, too noble! This is what Madonna’s doing lately, right in front of her daughter’s appraising and bored – eyes:
Awesome, right? I mean, don’t you just wish you had a mom just like this? One that has boyfriends (who, ahem, completely aren’t chosen by their ages and lack of man-like facial hair) that you can, like, totally relate to, and maybe even snag if you play your cards right? Boyfriends like this?:
Yeah. You do.
November 14, 2011 at 6:30 am by Sarah
“Well, it can also be more than just sexual, um, appendages. I don’t necessarily like to use the word lover because it sounds like they just come over and have sex with you. I aspire to more than that, and I need more than that. Respect for women and understanding that everything must be earned. Those are two big ones. Someone to share my inner life with. That’s extremely important. It’s also important that my children admire and respect this partner that I would choose for myself. Especially for my sons, who have their father [ex-husband Guy Ritchie], but they need a male role model as well. So I need to keep this in mind: What is this person modeling to my sons, what kind of man is he, what values does he have, what energy is he giving off? Because they are impressionable. It’s so important.”
Am I the only one who completely does not buy the fact that Madonna goes for her “lovers” because of their looks (and probably their wang size?)? Because if she was really interested in fostering relationships that were good examples for her kids – benchmarks so to speak – she might choose boyfriends that are a little bit closer to her peer age group than that of her high school-aged kids, eh?
Photo courtesy of Harper’s Bazaar
November 10, 2011 at 7:30 am by Sarah
Surprise, it’s Madonna! Yay! I hope nobody slips up and places some ugly flowers in her dressing room, LOL! Remember, because she has strong feelings about certain kinds of flowers. Oh, Madonna, what will you do next?!
Now, I don’t love Madonna or anything crazy like that (sorry I never jammed to “Material Girl” or whatever, but it doesn’t make me a bad person), but I’m sure her show will still be waaaaay better than last year’s. Remember that train wreck? That completely uncalled-for combination of the Black Eyed Peas, Usher, and Slash? I barely remember it, mostly because I only watched a tiny bit of it on YouTube after everyone who ever said words called it the most horrendous performance ever, but geez, right?
Are you psyched for Madonna’s upcoming performance? Will she be able to rock it? Is there anyone else who would have been better suited to do this show?
October 3, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Emily
Um, ok. Great. Thanks. I didn’t want to look at you anyway. Bitch.
It was a bit of a different story backstage, however, when eight of those volunteers were asked to turn their faces to a wall so that they would not look at the pop-star-turned-movie-director as she made her way to her press conference about the film. One volunteer told the Globe they all dutifully stood with their backs to her as she passed.
You know, I bet if I was volunteering and I knew about Madonna’s current bitch tour, I’d turn my back to her just so I wouldn’t have to see her stupid face. Just because you wrote “Material Girl” doesn’t make you God.