Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Love It or Leave It: Madonna’s … LOL FACE!

photo of madonna scary face pictures
You know, I was going to wait and use this as next week’s ‘Caption This‘, but I found it too good to pass up, especially in light of the Madonna-douchebaggery that seems to be so epic and so rampant lately. Honestly. This is it. I don’t even have a story to run with this picture; the photo is it. You know, Madonna, performing something on one of her concert tour stops, and with this face.

I don’t know. I guess we should be counting our blessings and thanking our lucky star that, at the very least, there’s no nipple or asscheek in this picture. You know? Thanking God for small favors?

And now, for the most ridiculous question of all time: what do you guys think of Madonna’s face?

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WATCH THIS: How Do We Feel About Madonna’s New Video for ‘Turn Up the Music’?

I’m telling you right now, that as I write these words, I’ve yet to see this video. But I’m completely and utterly judging it before I do, because I just know that it’s going to be f-cking awful. Madonna, like I’ve said before, hasn’t made a good video since ‘Frozen’, and even *that* was allegedly plagiarized … or didn’t you know? Well, since we’ve been talking about Madonna talking about Lady Gaga ripping off ‘Express Yourself’ for ‘Born This Way’, and talking about Madonna being sued for stealing samples for ‘Vogue’, we’ll talk about how she was sued—and lost—for plagiarism and ‘Frozen’, too!:

Reuters, along with other news agencies, is reporting that Belgian songwriter Salvatore Acquaviva won a plagiarism lawsuit against pop sensation Madonna. In the suit, Acquaviva claimed that the melody from Madonna’s 1998 hit song “Frozen” was lifted from his “Ma Vie Fout L’camp (My Life’s Getting Nowhere)”.

The ruling, which also required stores to remove copies of the song and for broadcasters to stop playing it, did not set any damages but, instead, left those to be negotiated at a later date.

In short, UGH, Madonna. I don’t even want to watch this video. I don’t even have to in order to know it sucks. You guys watch it—tell me what your thoughts are. And if you think the video’s all that bad, then I’ll definitely watch it.

Karma Finally Came and Picked Madonna Up for Song-Stealing

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What’s that, you haven’t heard? Oh, OK. Well, here it is: Madonna‘s being sued for illegally including some music from a song that didn’t belong to her to begin with in 1990′s ‘Vogue’. Amazing, right? I realize that it’s, yeah, about twenty-some years after the fact, and almost kind of absurd at this point to even make it a point of contention, but it’s definitely a good time as any for some Lady Gaga fans who are still pissed that Madonna’s claiming that Lady Gaga’s an unoriginal c-ntbag. Whee! From E!:

Better late than never?

Perhaps that’s what execs at VMG, a company out of Delaware, were thinking when they filed suit Wednesday against Madonna and her record label over the 1990 hit “Vogue,” claiming the pop icon sampled portions of a composition called “Love Break,” which was released around 1977.

In the suit, the company claims, “The portions of “Love Break, which have been copied into Vogue and all its various “mixes,” “remixes” videos, YouTube versions, etc. are numerous but intentionally hidden. The horn and strings in Vogue are intentionally sampled from “Love Break” throughout.”

Music producer Richard “Shep” Pettibone, who was originally hired by VMG to remix various editions of “Love Break” and later worked on “Vogue,” is also mentioned in the suit, with the company claiming Pettibone “intentionally disguised the sampling he did in ‘Vogue.’”

“The unauthorized sampling was deliberately hidden by [Madonna] within “Vogue” so as to avoid detection. It was only when VMG specifically looked for the sample, with the technology available to it in 2011, that the sampling could be confirmed,” VMG said.

Madonna and her reps haven’t officially responded to the lawsuit (and by that, I mean they haven’t responded at all), but I’m sure there’s got to be some kind of back-handed comment by Madonna at one of her concerts in the coming days anyway. It’s just how she rolls, guys.

Some Poor Couple Got Engaged at A Madonna Concert

A photo of Madonna

From Express:

Pop superstar Madonna helped two fans seal their love for one another during her concert in Amsterdam, Holland on Sunday after handing over her microphone so the man could propose.

The Material Girl halted her show after hearing about a male in the audience who wanted to pop the question and she willingly shared the spotlight.

She told the guy, “Don’t slobber all over my microphone, all right? Here you go. And do it (propose) with feeling. From your heart, baby!”

His girlfriend accepted and Madonna egged on the happy couple as they kissed, shouting from the stage, “Tongues! Tongues! Kiss with tongues! Yeah, yeah, yeah!” before quipping, “Get a room!”

In video footage of the incident, the twice-wed singer then offers up a few words of wisdom to the newly-engaged pair, saying, “I’ll give you one piece of advice: never go to bed angry, OK?”

Hesitating, she then added, “Two pieces of advice. Sorry. Learn to say the word (sic), ‘I f**ked up.’”

It’s really hard for me to imagine this not being the worst proposal ever. Logically, I get that if a guy takes his lady to a Madonna concert and proposes on stage, that must mean that they’re pretty big fans, and this will be an awesome story for them to remember for the rest of their lives. But everything else in me is just shuddering, because … Madonna. Really?

I mean, just think about being a person who is being urged by Madonna to “kiss with tongues.” It honestly makes me a little nauseous to think about. Oh my god, do you think her nipples were out when she was all “yeah, yeah, yeah”? Ugh. I need to stop, I’m going to make myself sick.

But do you think that she started pulling her pants down when the guy was in the middle of proposing?

Watch This: Madonna Gets Weepy While Singing “Like A Virgin”

If we’re posting any video of Madonna doing anything, I think it’s safe to assume that it’s completely ridiculous. This video is no exception. This video is bizarre. As you can see, it’s a video Madonna singing some weird ballad version of “Like A Virgin” and crying. It goes on for quite a while, too. If I were you, I’d try to stick it out through the whole thing, because it’s definitely worth it.

And, just for funzies, let’s name some songs that make us cry! Here’s mine:

- “Rainbow Connection” by Kermit the Frog
- “Our Window” by Noah and the Whale
- “The Point of It All” by Amanda Palmer
- “Caves” by Jack’s Mannequin
- “Cars and Guns” by Roger Alan Wade

And here are songs that would never, ever, not in a million years make me even think about crying:

- “Like A Virgin” by Madonna.

Do you see where the weirdness comes in? Silly Madonna!

Madonna Knows You Want Her DNA, So Don’t Even Play

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Oh, didn’t you hear? Madonna has her own sterilization team, because God forbid she leave any trace of her incomparable self behind after a show in a dressing room or on stage.

No, I’m not kidding. She really does. From the Mirror:

The paranoid star, 53, has ordered aides to leave no trace of her after she leaves gigs on her latest world tour.

In true diva style she set up a “sterilisation team” to wipe away any DNA that may have been dropped in her room on hairs, skin or saliva.

Hygiene freak Madge, whose MDNA tour arrives in Coimbra City, Portugal, tomorrow has also told ­organisers only her and her entourage are allowed ­backstage passes.

Concert promoter Álvaro Ramos, overseeing the ­Portuguese leg of the spectacle, said: “We have to take extreme care, like I have never seen for any other artist.

“We cannot even look at the dressing room, after it is ready, or even open the door. We can only enter after her sterilisation team has left the room. There will not be any of Madonna’s DNA, any hair, or anything. They will clean up ­everything. In the end it is all to protect her and make her feel comfortable.”

Because duh. Madonna’s already pissed that Lady Gaga’s trying so hard to be Madonna, why take the risk that one of Lady Gaga’s cronies might show up at a show to steal DNA in order to replicate Madonna and program her with offensive, sub-par Lady Gaga songs?

Gosh. I feel like I have to figure out EVERYTHING sometimes.

Deadmau5 Is Still Mad at Madonna

A photo of Deadmau5

Ok, let me do a quick recap on this feud, because it happened about three months ago. At this one concert, Madonna asked the crowd if anyone had seen molly. Now, “molly” is what the hip young kids call ecstasy, a drug that’s frequently associated with the kind of electronic dance music that Madonna is doing nowadays. She later claimed that she was referring to a song called “Have You Seen Molly” by her friend Cedric, and then Cedric added that his song is about an actual girl named Molly and none of them wacky drugs. But Deadmau5 didn’t buy it, and he didn’t think it was cool at all. Here’s what he had to say about it:

“Very classy there madonna. ‘HUR DUR HAS ANYONE SEEN MOLLY???’ such a great message for the young music lovers at ultra. Quite the f’n philanthropist. but hey, at least yer HIP AND TRENDY! f*cking cant smack my head hard enough right now.”

Their little feud fizzled out after they both made it clear that they weren’t changing their minds on the matter … OR SO WE THOUGHT. It actually turns out that Deadmau5 is still pretty pissed about the whole thing:

“You want to be ‘hip’ and ‘cool’ and ‘funky grandma’? Fine. It’s not my place to say you’re irrelevant. If you’re gonna come into my world, at least do it with a little more dignity. I understand she has millions more fans, and is way more successful than I’ll ever be. But it’s like talking about slavery at a f-cking blues concert. It’s inappropriate.”

I’m sorry, but “funky grandma” kind of made my day. I don’t know about all the “it’s like talking about slavery at a blues concert” business, but the image of “funky grandma” is definitely going to last in regards to Madonna.