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Madonna

0Some Poor Couple Got Engaged at A Madonna Concert

A photo of Madonna

From Express:

Pop superstar Madonna helped two fans seal their love for one another during her concert in Amsterdam, Holland on Sunday after handing over her microphone so the man could propose.

The Material Girl halted her show after hearing about a male in the audience who wanted to pop the question and she willingly shared the spotlight.

She told the guy, “Don’t slobber all over my microphone, all right? Here you go. And do it (propose) with feeling. From your heart, baby!”

His girlfriend accepted and Madonna egged on the happy couple as they kissed, shouting from the stage, “Tongues! Tongues! Kiss with tongues! Yeah, yeah, yeah!” before quipping, “Get a room!”

In video footage of the incident, the twice-wed singer then offers up a few words of wisdom to the newly-engaged pair, saying, “I’ll give you one piece of advice: never go to bed angry, OK?”

Hesitating, she then added, “Two pieces of advice. Sorry. Learn to say the word (sic), ‘I f**ked up.’”

It’s really hard for me to imagine this not being the worst proposal ever. Logically, I get that if a guy takes his lady to a Madonna concert and proposes on stage, that must mean that they’re pretty big fans, and this will be an awesome story for them to remember for the rest of their lives. But everything else in me is just shuddering, because … Madonna. Really?

I mean, just think about being a person who is being urged by Madonna to “kiss with tongues.” It honestly makes me a little nauseous to think about. Oh my god, do you think her nipples were out when she was all “yeah, yeah, yeah”? Ugh. I need to stop, I’m going to make myself sick.

But do you think that she started pulling her pants down when the guy was in the middle of proposing?

July 12, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Madonna

5Watch This: Madonna Gets Weepy While Singing “Like A Virgin”

If we’re posting any video of Madonna doing anything, I think it’s safe to assume that it’s completely ridiculous. This video is no exception. This video is bizarre. As you can see, it’s a video Madonna singing some weird ballad version of “Like A Virgin” and crying. It goes on for quite a while, too. If I were you, I’d try to stick it out through the whole thing, because it’s definitely worth it.

And, just for funzies, let’s name some songs that make us cry! Here’s mine:

- “Rainbow Connection” by Kermit the Frog
- “Our Window” by Noah and the Whale
- “The Point of It All” by Amanda Palmer
- “Caves” by Jack’s Mannequin
- “Cars and Guns” by Roger Alan Wade

And here are songs that would never, ever, not in a million years make me even think about crying:

- “Like A Virgin” by Madonna.

Do you see where the weirdness comes in? Silly Madonna!

July 5, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Madonna

12Madonna Knows You Want Her DNA, So Don’t Even Play

photo of madonna arms pics
Oh, didn’t you hear? Madonna has her own sterilization team, because God forbid she leave any trace of her incomparable self behind after a show in a dressing room or on stage.

No, I’m not kidding. She really does. From the Mirror:

The paranoid star, 53, has ordered aides to leave no trace of her after she leaves gigs on her latest world tour.

In true diva style she set up a “sterilisation team” to wipe away any DNA that may have been dropped in her room on hairs, skin or saliva.

Hygiene freak Madge, whose MDNA tour arrives in Coimbra City, Portugal, tomorrow has also told ­organisers only her and her entourage are allowed ­backstage passes.

Concert promoter Álvaro Ramos, overseeing the ­Portuguese leg of the spectacle, said: “We have to take extreme care, like I have never seen for any other artist.

“We cannot even look at the dressing room, after it is ready, or even open the door. We can only enter after her sterilisation team has left the room. There will not be any of Madonna’s DNA, any hair, or anything. They will clean up ­everything. In the end it is all to protect her and make her feel comfortable.”

Because duh. Madonna’s already pissed that Lady Gaga’s trying so hard to be Madonna, why take the risk that one of Lady Gaga’s cronies might show up at a show to steal DNA in order to replicate Madonna and program her with offensive, sub-par Lady Gaga songs?

Gosh. I feel like I have to figure out EVERYTHING sometimes.

June 25, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Madonna

6Deadmau5 Is Still Mad at Madonna

A photo of Deadmau5

Ok, let me do a quick recap on this feud, because it happened about three months ago. At this one concert, Madonna asked the crowd if anyone had seen molly. Now, “molly” is what the hip young kids call ecstasy, a drug that’s frequently associated with the kind of electronic dance music that Madonna is doing nowadays. She later claimed that she was referring to a song called “Have You Seen Molly” by her friend Cedric, and then Cedric added that his song is about an actual girl named Molly and none of them wacky drugs. But Deadmau5 didn’t buy it, and he didn’t think it was cool at all. Here’s what he had to say about it:

“Very classy there madonna. ‘HUR DUR HAS ANYONE SEEN MOLLY???’ such a great message for the young music lovers at ultra. Quite the f’n philanthropist. but hey, at least yer HIP AND TRENDY! f*cking cant smack my head hard enough right now.”

Their little feud fizzled out after they both made it clear that they weren’t changing their minds on the matter … OR SO WE THOUGHT. It actually turns out that Deadmau5 is still pretty pissed about the whole thing:

“You want to be ‘hip’ and ‘cool’ and ‘funky grandma’? Fine. It’s not my place to say you’re irrelevant. If you’re gonna come into my world, at least do it with a little more dignity. I understand she has millions more fans, and is way more successful than I’ll ever be. But it’s like talking about slavery at a f-cking blues concert. It’s inappropriate.”

I’m sorry, but “funky grandma” kind of made my day. I don’t know about all the “it’s like talking about slavery at a blues concert” business, but the image of “funky grandma” is definitely going to last in regards to Madonna.

June 21, 2012 at 6:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Deadmau5, Madonna

2Madonna’s Rider Is Conservative, Sensible

A photo of Madonna

Oh, you guys, I’m just playing. Madonna‘s rider is absolutely not conservative or sensible. No, it’s the exact opposite of conservative and sensible, much like Madonna herself. Except not in a cool way, of course. In a ridiculously pretentious way. You’ll see what I mean.

Here’s some information about her latest rider:

She hit headlines after flashing her nipple and her bottom while performing on stage. And if reports are to be believed Madonna’s diva demands are more outrageous than her exhibitionism.  The 53-year-old singer’s rider includes all sorts of extravagant conditions as she performs her MDNA tour, according to reports.

According to In Touch magazine Madonna travels with a huge 200-person entourage and has very specific requirements to the way her dressing rooms are set up.

A source tells the magazine:She requires all furniture be removed from the rooms and replaced with her own pieces that she has shipped in.”

It is claimed the singer demands 20 international phone lines in the room as well as special white and pink roses that must have the stems cut to six inches.

As well as all this the singer is also said to demand special fabric for her room.

A source told the Daily Star: “Madonna has probably the longest list of requirements of any of the world’s music stars. She expects things to be just right or it puts her off her stage show.”

Within the 200-strong team she is said to have 30 bodyguards, a yoga instructor as well as personal chefs and an acupuncturist.

Ugh, shut up, Madonna. “She expects things to be just right or it puts her off her stage show.” No, it does not. If someone cut the stems of her white and pink roses to seven inches instead of six, it would not affect her show. If she didn’t have roses at all, it wouldn’t affect her show. No one needs to ship special furniture around all over the world to be able to put on a concert. Just ask for some water or tea or whatever you need to get ready for your performance and do your damn job. Special pink and white roses, please.

June 19, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Madonna

4Madonna’s Mooning Us All Now

The above video was taken at last night’s Rome tour stop. Where, instead of flashing her nipples, Madonna flashed her ass. What’s next? A vadge shot? Are we really going to see Madge’s Vadge again after all these years? What, does she wax, now, and is all proud of it so she’s gotta show it off? Is this what we’re dealing with? Juvenile antics from a fifty-three year-old woman? Call me crazy, but maybe she’s been spending too much time with her twenty-four year-old boyfriend. Maybe he’s inspiring her to act like she’s on ‘Girls Gone Wild: Spring Break ’01′. But even most twenty-four year-olds on Spring Break would know better.

Also, is that a for-real tattoo on Madonna‘s back? Because NO! FEAR! is a really dumb-ass tattoo to have in a zillion-point font across your thoracic spine. The term “no fear” stopped being cool when I was a freshman in high school and the last of the t-shirts died out as mainstream and were used strictly as gym attire. Thought you knew, Madge

June 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Madonna