Hey Madonna! Your muddled fake accents still suck!
Also, your video is way unimpressive, lady. Or, oh! Sorry. “Girl.” I’m assuming it’s you that you’re talking about when you say “Girl” gone wild, because let’s be honest: isn’t it always about you?
This is the video for Madonna’s latest single, ‘Girl Gone Wild’, and it features all of the staples of a traditional Madge video: black and white footage that I suppose is intended to be classic and artsy, half-naked men doing sexually provocative things, Madonna herself grinding on [fill in the blank - in this case it happens to be some wall], and the idea that she’s the master of disaster when it comes to dominating everyone in her life. FIERCE, BABY, FIERCE.
I guess if you’re a die-hard Madonna fan, you’ll probably be all over both the song and the video, but as an objective observer, I think it’s sub-par at best, performed by a self-obsessed twit who has a serious aging complex, but I’ve been wrong before. Just like I was wrong about that there “objective observer” thing. Anyway. Honest-to-goodness, I unintentionally tuned out for the last forty seconds or so of the video (my whites were coming out of the washer), so please – if I missed anything seriously critical, do let me know. I’ve got this sneaking suspicion that I didn’t, though, and I’m pretty glad laundry won out in the end.
March 21, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah
From The Sun:
Madonna has confessed to The Sun she feels her “head is going to explode” from the stress of being a single mum after her divorce from Guy Ritchie.
The pop queen bared her soul in a world exclusive interview as she declared: “I’m not going to lie — it’s hard work having four kids and doing all the work I do.”
Her headaches over Lourdes, 15, Rocco, 12, David, six, and Mercy, five, are just the same as any divorcee holding down a job, according to the multi-millionairess. And Madonna, 53, blasted critics of her parenting skills — fuming: “Everybody has something to say about the way I live my life. At the end of the day I’m doing my best. If people don’t like it, then that’s really their problem.”
Madonna said four years after her divorce from 43-year-old Brit film director Ritchie: “Sometimes I cope with it very well, sometimes it’s a struggle.”
The star has used her experiences as a lone parent as an inspiration for some of the tracks on her forthcoming album, MDNA. Discussing song I Don’t Give A, she explained: “It’s about the life of a single mother. It’s a challenge juggling everything — multi-tasking is my middle name. I try to express that.”
All right, it’s obvious that Madonna does a lot of work, and I’m sure being a single mother to four children under the age of 18 is rough. But really, I’ve pretty much had enough of Madonna talking. Everything she says is just so annoying and self-righteous, and I’m over it.
The single moms I know don’t have the luxury of nannies, or the security of knowing that no matter what, their children will be taken care of. The problems are always more like “how am I going to pay for this?” and “who’s going to watch my kids when I have to go to work?’ and “I can’t afford health insurance” and “I can’t afford anything.” I can’t tell you how many ladies I’ve seen stay with total asshats because it was just way easier than trying to figure out how to juggle everything. Madonna doesn’t have to worry about that. Sure, she probably feels sad when she’s away from her kids performing at the Super Bowl or whatever, but it’s not remotely the same thing, and it’s annoying that she thinks it is.
Can we just go back to 1998 when the only time I ever heard about Madonna was when I heard “Ray of Light” on the radio all the time while patiently waiting for a Spice Girls song to come on?
March 14, 2012 at 6:30 am by Emily
Over a month ago, Karl Lagerfeld made a bitchy little comment about Adele. He said that she “has a beautiful face and a divine voice,” but “she is a little too fat.” It was pretty stupid, but he apologized and then Margaret Cho thoroughly and beautifully ripped him apart for it. It still wasn’t a cool thing to say, but it seemed like the case was closed, you know?
“That’s horrible,” Madonna told Britain’s Sun tabloid. “That’s ridiculous, that’s just the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”
The pop queen went on to say that the fashionisto’s insult was made all the more insulting by the fact that Adele has never traded on her image as a singer, nor, thanks to her talent, has she needed to.
“I don’t like it when anyone says anything bad about anyone—I don’t like it. Adele’s a great talent and how much she weighs has nothing to do with it.”
Are you listening, Karl? In the meantime, Madonna went on to offer some sage advice to the British superstar.
“The thing for Adele to remember is at the end of the day, whether you rise or fall, it has so much to do with how you sustain yourself and keep your integrity and your inner strength.
“It is all about who you surround yourself with—friends and people who really do care about you, and care about your well-being beyond being a superstar. That’s the most important thing.”
Yeah, ok. Does anyone else feel like this whole thing is just Madonna trying to make everyone think that she’s not such an insufferable bitch? Like she, or more likely the people who work for her, scoured through old gossip and tried to get ideas from old movies and drew up a quick pie graph to try to figure out how to get people to really love her again? Because that’s definitely the feeling I get. Come on, “I don’t like it when anyone says anything bad about anyone,” seriously? This bitch? Is anyone honestly going to believe that for a second?
What do you guys think, has the power of Adele actually converted Madonna, or does she just need to shut her stupid mouth with this?
March 13, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily
This is the lady’s new single, ‘Girl Gone Wild’ (yes, ‘Girl Gone Wild’). Here are some of the lyrics:
“I got that burnin’ hot desire/ And no one can put out my fire/ It’s coming right down through the wire/ Here it comes/ When I hear them 808 drums/ It’s got me singing / Hey, ey, ey, ey/ Like a girl gone wild/ A good girl gone wild/ I’m like, hey, ey, ey, ey/ Like a girl gone wild/ A good girl gone wild … The room is spinning/ It must be the Tanqueray/ I’m about to go astray/ My inhibition’s gone away/ I feel like sinning/ You got me in the zone/ DJ play my favorite song/ Turn me on.”
ZOMG, instant classic, right?
Thing is, Madonna‘s trying way to hard to sexualize herself and sell the package to everyone who doesn’t care anymore. I don’t want all of Madonna’s ‘luvin’, and I’m not excited by the prospect of Madonna equating herself as a ‘girl gone wild’. I also don’t see the appeal of a fifty-some year-old woman singing about how gin’s got her all wacked out on the dance floor. See, a woman (or a man) can be sexy as hell as they age, because age has got nothing to do with confidence, wisdom, magnetism, and all-around appeal. As far as I’m concerned, Madonna’s missed the boat on all of those things except for confidence (and that’s even questionable) for the past decade. Maybe if you’d stop trying so hard, Madge, people might take you more seriously. You’ve been in the business a long, long time. This should be second nature to you by now, girl.
Can we all be in agreement about this? Would that be OK?
February 27, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Sarah
Which I kind of do not understand? Like, I’m a little surprised, actually. Since when has Madonna been one to shy from controversy? No offense, Madge, but M.I.A.’s gesture was a gift to you! It was the gift of sudden relevance! (We can argue that one, if you want.)
“I didn’t know about it until I left,” the singer said on a call to On Air With Ryan Seacrest. “I had no idea what goes on in front of me, the camera capturing things, so when I left, I found out about it in the elevator on my way to get into the car to go to the airport.”
[…] “I was really surprised,” she says of hearing about MIA’s gesture. “I didn’t know anything about it. I wasn’t happy about it. I understand it’s kind of punk rock and everything, but to me there was such a feeling of love and good energy, and positivity, it seemed negative.”
“It’s one of those things,” she continues. “It’s such a teenager… irrelevant thing to do, but on the other hand, there was such a feeling of love and unity there. What was the point? It was just out of place.”
Madonna, I would watch where you point those soundbytes, because you have not been living in our dimension for a little while now. You’re the tastemaker, the provocateur, remember? You’re the one who made random shows of anti-authoritarianism cool and “now.” M.I.A. is your protégée! She just wanted to do you right!
Remember, Madge: when you point the finger, three point RIGHT BACK AT YOU. (I feel like I’ve typed this dumb idiom before? Oh, OK.)
Image via CNN. Thanks, CNN!
February 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Jenn
My mother informed me that she had just seen the Superbowl halftime performance starring Madonna.
Well? How was it? I asked her.
She sighed and looked at me really tired. “I think Madonna’s very talented,” she said. I thought this was really funny. Mom! It’s not like you’re gonna offend the “kid”; Madonna’s 53 years old!
I watched Madonna’s halftime performance online later. And—this is a little weird, because she is such an amazing dancer—those stiletto boots are obviously killing her. Sometimes she looks like she’s never walked in heels before.
During tonight’s show, headlined by Madonna, one of the guest singers, British rapper M.I.A., gave viewers the finger directly into the camera, and NBC’s censors weren’t fast enough to obscure it. The network, which carries the Super Bowl this year, attempted to blur the gesture but was late by almost a second. “We apologize for the inappropriate gesture that aired during halftime,” the network’s spokesperson said. “It was a spontaneous gesture that our delay system caught late.”
Yep! M.I.A. flipped off the cameras, incensing the censors. Phew! I’m glad something happened last night; otherwise the show might’ve been a total bore.
(Image via Popbytes.)