Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lindsay Lohan

Also, Amanda Bynes is Still Angry About All Those Lindsay Lohan Comparisons

photo of amanda bynes and lindsay lohan pictures
And wouldn’t you be? Ugh. To be compared to Lindsay Lohan must be an insult of the highest order (no one’s ever compared me to Lindsay Lohan, thankfully, so I can’t really say for sure).

Earlier today, when Amanda heard that Lindsay made the comment about why Amanda’s gotten off so easily with all of her DUI-charging, car-impounding business, she texted a friend (who, predictably, told TMZ), saying that she hates “being compared” to Lindsay. The friend continues to reveal that Amanda has never been friends with Lindsay, and maybe Lindsay should just worry about Lindsay and quit sticking her coke nose in matters that would otherwise not involve her.

In short? Maybe Amanda Bynes isn’t as crazy as we all think. I mean, stranger things have happened today.

Lindsay Lohan is Totally Afraid of Paris Hilton

photo of lindsay lohan and paris hilton pictures hot pic
But before I get into that one, can we talk about this picture for a second? Because Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are actually … well, they’re kind of … OK, alright; they’re actually kind of hot in this picture. Like, people would probably go to bed with the two of them at the same time if they both still actually looked like this. Moreover, they look clean. The two of them. Together! Amazing what drugs and poor sexual choices can do to a girl, huh?

But here’s the latest on Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, and how Lindsay “freaked out” when she saw Paris at their mutual friend Lady Gaga‘s new perfume launch for ‘Fame’.

From Page Six:

Lindsay Lohan came face to face with old frenemy Paris Hilton and freaked out at a high-profile fashion bash, as their long-running feud continues to burn.

Lohan, who is working hard to put her troubled past behind her, arrived in New York from the Atlanta set of “Scary Movie 5” in which she acts opposite Charlie Sheen and makes fun of her hard-partying, train-wreck past, including an incident last year when she was accused of stealing a necklace from an LA jewelry store.

But “Lindsay wound up looking at [the ‘Scary Movie’ cameo] as a way to complete a phase of her life and move on,” a source said. After desperately trying to get out of the shoot, she filmed the role without any additional drama Wednesday.

But when Lohan arrived at Lady Gaga’s masked ball Thursday night at the Guggenheim Museum, she flipped when she saw her old party-pal-turned-archrival Hilton.

“Lindsay freaked out when she saw Paris,” said a spy. “Neither knew the other would be there. And when Lindsay first saw Paris, she just stepped back with these big eyes. She was shaking her head and kept repeating, ‘No, no, I can’t.’ ”

The once-tight pair had a falling out back in 2006 over the infamous incident when foul-mouthed oil heir Brandon Davis branded the “Mean Girls” star “Firecrotch,” with Hilton egging him on.

At the Gaga event, which launched the singer’s new fragrance, Fame, “Lindsay refused to get her picture taken with Paris,” a source said. “But eventually she calmed down.”

While Lohan arrived at the event “very quietly,” Hilton “marched in and tried to push her way through the crowd to Gaga,” only to turn around when she realized no one was moving out of her way when she wanted to get to the singer.

Lohan later received a hug from Gaga, whom she’d bonded with over the summer during a sleepover at the Chateau Marmont in LA. Page Six exclusively reported that Gaga’s planning to cast Lohan in her first video from her upcoming album, “Artpop.”

Oh, so it’s another classic “I’m too good for this kind of trash” Lindsay Lohan-type moment, right? Because sad as it is to say, I’d be much, much more keen to root for Paris Hilton against Lindsay Lohan these days, especially if we’re talking “who’s dirtier,” I’m sorry.

So, back then—who’d you rather?

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And who now? Just saying, this is Lindsay from the Fame launch:

photo of lindsay lohan at fame launch pictures
And dear, darling Paris at the very same event:

photo of paris hilton at fame lady gaga launch pic

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Lindsay Lohan Is Mad at Amanda Bynes

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

Man, Lindsay sure has been tweeting gold lately, huh? I thought she’d really topped herself when she told us all to fight for our dreams so that we, too, could get really, extremely overpriced purses, but I was wrong. Because if there’s just one truth about Lindsay Lohan, it’s that she can always, always, manage to top herself.

Here are a couple of tweets that Lindsay sent out last night, right after the news broke that Amanda Bynes’s car got impounded:

Why did I get put in jail and a nickelodeon star has had NO punishment(s) so far? +

These are the moments that I appreciate my life experiences, living without regrets and Disney for supporting me as an actress-night all*

Except, if you’ll remember, when Lindsay was put in jail (for like, an hour) the first time, she had a DUI, she was caught with cocaine, and she maybe kidnapped some people, whereas Amanda just got wasted and tapped a police car. And it’s not like she’s had “NO punishment”: she was arrested, taken to jail, she’s been charged with a couple of misdemeanors, and they took away her license and her car. I guess in Lindsay’s world that’s no punishment, but in the real world, it seems like they’re starting to actually do a kind of ok job with this one.

But I guess it’s nice to know that Lindsay appreciates her life experiences and lives without regrets. I guess that’s why she’s still able to have fun meth adventures all the time. Worth it!

Let Lindsay Lohan Inspire You to Follow Your Dreams

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

How delusional is Lindsay Lohan? And is it just me, or has she been getting more and more delusional as time goes by? There was that tweet about how she totally didn’t have anything to do with that Vanity Fair article about Tom Cruise, like any of us would think that she ever had a serious connection to Tom Cruise OR that Vanity Fair would even want to speak with her. There was that other tweet where she told Obama that the people listed on the Forbes list of millionaires should get tax cuts if they’re not really millionaires, like a Forbes list is how the government decides how much you pay in taxes. Maybe she’s been smoking weed and eating tacos with Amanda Bynes, or maybe she’s been doing crack with Lady Gaga, but whatever it is, Lindsay seems especially not well lately, right?

But I want to show you her latest delusional tweet, ok? Are you ready? It comes with a picture, so I’ll just show you that first:

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

Ok, and here’s the caption:

Birkin. Mac Computer. Chanel and a jet. Never quit fighting to live your dreams. God Bless

HA! HAHAHA! Oh lord, Lindsay, you never fail to amuse/sadden me!

There are just so many things. Lindsay probably stole the Birkin, received the Mac as a gift from one of the creepy wealthy men she sleeps with, stole the Chanel, too, and only spent her money on the jet because actual airlines frown on doing meth in first class. And it’s really sad to me that she thinks that fancy bags and expensive computers are the greatest things you can get by living your dreams and the biggest motivators for doing what makes you happy. And no amount of material possessions can convince me that Lindsay Lohan, the girl who started out as a promising young actress who was aiming for an Oscar and who is currently starring in Lifetime movies and stealing any piece of jewelry she can get her hands on, is living her dream.

Oh, and here’s the most recent photo of herself that she’s posted:

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

The caption to that one is “In the words of my beautiful mommy- “jus sayin.”

I just got a major sad, you guys. It’s not even funny right now. Well, ok, it’s a little funny, but man. What a bummer.

Of Course Lindsay Lohan’s Screwing Up Her “Movie Career” Again

photo of lindsay lohan pictures sick photos crying pic
So remember how Lindsay Lohan was picked up for a role in Scary Movie 5? Well, naturally, Lindsay’s a loser, and can’t commit to even the simplest of shit. According to Page Six, Lindsay was almost sued for not showing up for production on time, among other contract violations. From Page Six:

Dimension Films signed Lohan to play a cameo in the horror spoof opposite Charlie Sheen. But over the past two weeks — as the date for filming approached — Lohan disappeared, blew off rehearsals, missed her flight to the set and even bizarrely claimed she had walking pneumonia. We’re told the troubled starlet “freaked out” after seeing the script was poking fun at her. At the 11th hour, Lohan did report for work, however only after she was threatened with a lawsuit by a Hollywood legal eagle and a private jet was sent to pick her up.

So how must it feel to work on the set of a movie where everyone involved knows that you’re a big, fat loser who has to be threatened to show up for work? You can’t tell me that being in that position doesn’t make you feel like a stupid ass. And it gets better—not only did Lindsay almost bail altogether because of a scripting issue, she didn’t show up for any of the wardrobe meetings, either. You’d think that free clothes (even if they were free for a limited time) would be the hook in that opportunity right there, but no. There must have been some kind of anti-theft device attached to Lindsay’s wardrobe, and when she found out she was all, “Meh, I’m just not interested. Pick whatever.” More about Lindsay’s fast descent into permanent Loserdom:

“Lindsay missed every meeting she had for the film, including script reads and wardrobe meetings,” said a Hollywood insider. “Then she missed her flight to Atlanta on Sunday to shoot the movie. The producers had been getting signs Friday that she was a mess, and would not be fit to work.”

Last, she’s signed on to kiss Charlie Sheen, who’s also in the movie. Let me repeat that: she’s signed on to kiss Charlie Sheen, who’s also in the movie. And Charlie Sheen, of all people, is “worried” that Lindsay might not be able to “do the scene.” Talk about a rock and a hard place, huh?

Lindsay Lohan Discusses Economics with Obama

A photo of Lindsay Lohan's Twitter

Oh my god, you didn’t think I was serious, did you? I mean, Lindsay did technically discuss economics with President Obama, but it wasn’t like she flew down to the convention and had lunch with him or anything. No, Lindsay’s influence exists only on Twitter, and then only on Twitter in tweets that she deletes soon after posting without (obviously) ever getting a response.

But either way, I think this is just great. I laughed so, so hard, and after I saw this screencap I went to read all of Lindsay’s latest tweets and I laughed even more. Sarah showed you guys that beautiful tweet about Tom Cruise just yesterday, but you know Lindsay. She just doesn’t stop. Ever.

Here are a few of her most recent thoughts, mostly about the VMAs and charity work:

I am so glad that @chrisbrown won at the VMAS

What do all of my followers thing of Taylor Swift? Just curious…

i love all of you…#mylittlestars “a night without freckles is like a night without stars**”

i’m going to turn this off.. but i want to announce that 4 people PER MONTH i will FOLLOW&DM for a specific amount of time. Just an FYI. IF WE CAN… We can use these DM’s & Following of others with a specific CHARITY to help others in INDIA/LOUISIANA/UGANDA and so many others

i will choose your by your HONESTY and situations

So, to recap, Lindsay still has a thing for Chris Brown, she “things” serious thoughts about Taylor Swift, something hilarious about freckles, and she has some idea about following people on Twitter to raise money for some charity in India or Louisiana or wherever. Oh, and she also tweeted this picture with the caption “me watching the VMAs”:

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

Never change, Lindsay. Unless you decide to go to rehab, that would be fine.

New BFF Alert: Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan!

A photo of Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff

If you’ve been keeping up with gossip for a great long while, or if you read Tiger Beat during lunch in middle school because the principal decided it was a great idea to have assigned seating that switched every week so all the students could mingle with each other which sounded like an ok idea until you had to sit with the class douchebag who made crude remarks about your love for Harry Potter and something about Hedwig, a wand, and your vagina, you might remember that Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan have never liked each other all that much. See, in 2002, Lindsay was dating Aaron Carter. But then Aaron started dating Hilary. Without ever breaking up with Lindsay. So naturally, the two ladies decided to hate each other.

The feud has been going on for the past ten years (can you imagine, hating someone for ten years because of Aaron Carter?). Sometimes there are reports that they’re cool with each other, and sometimes there are reports that they still actively detest each other, but right now, right at this moment in time, everything is changing. Because now, they’re friends:

Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan have reportedly become good friends after settling a decade-long feud.

The pair have been enemies since Lindsay accused Hilary of stealing her now ex-boyfriend Aaron Carter in 2003. Hilary and Lindsay gave each other the silent treatment for years until secretly meeting up. After chatting during their visit, the girls decided to end their war.

“Hilary was pleasantly surprised at how mature Lindsay was when they met up,” a source told Star magazine. “Now they text all the time!”

Hilary welcomed her first child, five-month-old son Luca Cruz, with husband Mike Comrie this year. The couple have been married for a little over two years and Lindsay, who has faced a string of legal problems recently, respects their union.

“[Lindsay] feels like Hilary could be a good influence—she has a healthy marriage, just had a baby and doesn’t care about clubbing,” the insider explained.

Successful entrepreneur Hilary may be willing to help Lindsay with her career. Hosting the Liz & Dick actress at her home in the future is also a possibility.

“Hilary has already put the word out to her husband, Mike, to think about potential setups for Lindsay,” the source said.

If anything in the whole entire world is true, I want it to be this story. I want Hilary to spread the word that Lindsay Lohan is back, and I want her to land a movie for both of them to do together (a remake of Beaches, there, I did it). I want Hilary to invite Lindsay to her house so they can just chill together, and Hilary’s son can grow up knowing the tender presence of his Auntie Lindsay. And Lindsay can meet a nice hockey player through Hilary’s husband, and they can get married and have children of their own. It would be so incredible, wouldn’t it?