Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lindsay Lohan

Quotables: Lindsay Lohan Thinks Elizabeth Taylor Is Going to Watch Her Lifetime Movie

A photo of Lindsay Lohan and Elizabeth Taylor

“At least i know that i have done the work for an angel in heaven .. I know that she will see it from up above.. bless her.”

That is a thing that Lindsay tweeted to Elizabeth Taylor, who I’m sure will def get back to her after she’s through having brunch with Jesus.

And for those of us who are crazy impatient for this work of art to finally air, we have a release date at last: November 3rd. For some reason, I thought I had read that they were aiming to get it aired in late August, but I guess that was just wishful thinking on my part, or else it was the plan, but then they realized that they needed a couple of extra months to edit Lindsay’s methtastic performance into something watchable. I’m going to go ahead and say that it was a little of both.

But mark your calendars, friends, because in just under two months, we’ll be in for the treat of a Lifetime. GET IT?!

Lindsay Lohan Still Bears A Very Strong Resemblance to Elizabeth Taylor

A photo of Lindsay Lohan and Grant Bowler

Sure, Lindsay was a nightmare to work with on Liz & Dick. She didn’t memorize her lines, she crashed cars on her way to work, she almost died or just didn’t want to work that one time, I could never figure out which, and, of course, just this morning we learned that she completely trashed Liz’s own dressing room. But it was all worth it, because Lindsay’s resemblance to Liz is downright eerie. Right?

LOL, no. Look at this one:

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

But I will say this: Lindsay as 1980s Elizabeth Taylor is flawless. And sure, Liz was in her 50s in the 1980s, but let’s not take this away from her:

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

Let’s just bless her heart, ok guys? Because bless her heart.

Now Lindsay Lohan is Trashing Elizabeth Taylor’s Custom-Made Dressing Room

photo of dressing room pictures lindsay lohan trashed pictures
What? Come on. Of course she didn’t. Lindsay doesn’t do these kinds of things, guys.

From CNN (yes, CNN):

Elizabeth Taylor’s Cleopatra “love nest,” where her romance with Richard Burton started, was trashed while it was on loan for filming of Lindsay Lohan’s “Liz & Dick,” the owner of the dressing room trailer said.

Fox Studios spent more than $75,000 in 1963, about a half million in today’s dollars, to create an environment fit for the queen Taylor was playing. She rested away from the set between roman columns with walls and ceilings handpainted in the style of Cleopatra’s era.

Angel Alger, a Taylor fan, bought the pink, lavishly-decorated 38-foot travel trailer for $50,000, her life savings, in June. But she only had two days to enjoy it before it was delivered to Silver Screen Pictures. It was a condition of the sale since the seller had contracted to rent it to the producers for a week of filming.
“I was specifically told that it would come back in pristine condition and in even better condition than it was at that time,” Alger said.

When she saw it again in July, she was devastated to see damage she estimated to be at least $100,000.
Photos show cigarette burns on fabric, furniture and even a portrait of Taylor. Dishes, mirror and glass were broken.

What’s worse is what’s missing, Alger said.

An exquisite antique European rocking chair that Taylor sat in after filming every night was taken.
“I did not get to enjoy using the lavish French phone that she used or even her personal hair brush that probably still had some of her hair in it,” she said.

“Only a psychotic and rebellious person or people would steal irreplaceable museum belongings and leave it in this vandalized condition,” Alger said. Alger said she suspects it was Lindsay Lohan, based on a studio employee’s comment to her that the actress and her friends had access to it each night after filming.
But she acknowledges she has no evidence to prove it. She collected the cigarette butts left in the trailer, which she said appeared to be special cigarettes.

But Lohan’s publicist said there was no way Lohan, who he said worshiped Taylor, would ever destroy anything connected to her.

“This has nothing to do with Lindsay,” Steve Honig said. “You should ask the producers about it.”

Oh, hell no. No way. There’s absolutely no possible way that Lindsay Lohan, cigarette-smoking, alcohol-swilling Lindsay Lohan, would ever, ever, ever trash a dressing room, and especially a dressing room of someone she admired.

Lindsay Lohan is not written all over this crime, no way, no how.

Also, what the hell is a “special cigarette”? Is that CNN-speak for joints? Roaches? Is that what that is? Because come on. I think we’ve evolved enough as a society not to engage in the absurd decorum that dictates we call “funny cigarettes” or “special cigarettes” by anything else other then “SMOKIN’ THEM DRUGS,” alright?

And Now Lindsay Lohan’s Been Banned from the Chateau Marmont

photo of lindsay lohan making an angry face pictures photos
From TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan stiffed the famous Chateau Marmont hotel to the tune of $46,350.04, and she is now persona non grata.

TMZ has obtained a letter from the General Manager of the hotel where John Belushi infamously OD’d and died … The GM notes the hotel repeatedly requested payment for the 47 days Lindsay stayed there during the months of June and July … but LiLo never anted up.

Lindsay — who had been living at the hotel — was ordered to get her stuff out by 12 PM August 1. She was then banned from the entire property.

Now get this … We also got the itemized bill for June and July, and it’s clear — Lindsay spends like a drunken sailor.

– Minibar charges for the 47 days: $3,145.07. The highest daily tab … July 1st — $502.43!!!

– Cigarettes: $686. She blew through 49 packs in 47 days at $14 a pop

– Chateau Candle: $100

– Chateau restaurant: On July 4 Lindsay racked up a $1,992.07 bill. On top of that, she spent $685.96 that day on room service

Do you think we could yet say it’s official that Lindsay Lohan‘s back on her familiar downward spiral to three or four days in jail? Because I do. This is how it seems to start every time—Lindsay f-cks up, wants to be taken seriously, straightens up for a few weeks or months, and gets some “respectable” film or television show parts. After the smoke clears, and she’s got a few days of time on her hands, she’s back to the same old crack shenanigans of theft, drugs, and general work-related unreliability. I mean, honestly. What’s next, a coke-binge with Paris Hilton? Domestic disputes with Samantha Ronson? Dare I say it, those two ladies are just too good for our Lindsay these days, so no. I doubt it, actually.

Lindsay Definitely Stole That Jewelry, Is Definitely Not Getting in Trouble for It

A photo of Lindsay

Ok, listen. Lindsay Lohan stole $100,000 worth of jewelry at that house party. She definitely did that. That absolutely happened. And the guy who owned the jewelry (which, just so you’re up to date, was mostly watches and some sunglasses) called the police, the police questioned Lindsay, they investigated, she officially became a suspect, and now the charges have been dropped. Because nothing was stolen. Because – wait for it – according to the owner of the jewelry, when it comes to Lindsay, “what’s mine is yours.”

So essentially, she stole a bunch of stuff, but it’s all good:

Lindsay Lohan will not be prosecuted by the L.A. County District Attorney for stealing more than $100,000 worth of watches and sunglasses from a Hollywood Hills home — TMZ has learned the D.A. just rejected the case.

According to the D.A.’s charge evaluation worksheet, there is insufficient evidence to bring a burglary charge against the actress.

According to the D.A., Lindsay and Sam Magid — the rich guy who owns the house that was allegedly burglarized — have had a “longstanding relationship.”

The D.A. claims Sam did not identify Lindsay as a suspect and the “potential eyewitnesses have refused to become involved.”

Additionally, none of the suspects were found in possession of the stolen property.

Lindsay’s assistant Gavin Doyle will also not face prosecution.

Oh, but now it looks like Lindsay just stole a few thousand dollars and a bunch of keys:

A rep for the D.A.’s office tells TMZ … “The District Attorney’s Office received no evidence that any jewelry, including watches, was taken.”

“The evidence presented to us … was valued at $6,400 and included $3,000 in cash, four pairs of sunglasses, an iPod and keys to two cars and a house.”

It’s now clear … the initial theft complaint, which included $100,000 worth of watches and sunglasses, never made its way to the D.A.’s office.

Yeah, this all sounds totally legit. I’m sure it was all a big misunderstanding. Lindsay was just borrowing a bunch of watches or maybe $3,000 and some car keys. All this negative press is BS. For sure.

Lindsay Lohan Is Officially A Suspect in The Jewelry Theft, Also Broke Another Law

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

Well, you know what they say. Haters gonna hate. Players gonna play. Flop Lip gonna flop. Sunrise, sunset. Just another day in the life.

What I’m saying is that Lindsay Lohan cannot stop breaking laws, and, as such, she cannot stop being named a suspect for breaking those laws. And that’s exactly what’s happening now.

Let’s catch up real quick, all right? We all know that Lindsay stole a bunch of jewelry at a house party last week. Allegedly. Police asked her some routine questions, and when she found out she wasn’t a suspect, she went directly to New York, you know, just ’cause. But now it turns out that Lindsay is a suspect. It’s official and everything. Police called Lindsay’s poor lawyer to set up an interview, but get this: her lawyer said no. She told investigators that she wouldn’t cooperate. What is that even about?

Another strange thing is that the guy that owns the house where Lindsay was partying and who also owns all the jewelry that Lindsay stole? He was just like “oh, nevermind, guys, I totally spaced, nothing’s missing, let’s forget everything.” Yeah, he’s actually saying that nothing was ever missing. The investigation is still going forward though, because apparently other people saw Lindsay stealing stuff, and that’s still not allowed, I guess.

ANOTHER thing is that a whole different police department wants to question Lindsay about something else. Remember that shady car accident in June when Lindsay ran her car into a big rig? And then she said that she wasn’t even driving, her assistant (who, by the way, is also wanted for questioning about the jewelry theft) was? We all called bullshit immediately, but it looks like cops are just now catching on, and they want to confront Lindsay about lying to them. Which is a crime.

And here’s the part where I remind you that Lindsay is still on probation and she could get into serious trouble if anything comes out of these cases. Blah blah jail time, blah blah court, blah blah bitch never learns and never will because no one will ever hold her accountable for her actions.

What a way to start the morning.

This is What Lindsay Lohan’s Doing During Her Literal New York Getaway

photo of lindsay lohan pictures new york city fleeing pictures
I mean, we could, of course, come right out and say “This is what Lindsay looks like when she’s fleeing the long arm of the law,” but that would make us look like we’re presuming that Lindsay *did* have something to do with all those missing jewels from that party that she brought suspicious-looking, jewel-thieving-like men to, and come on. No one wants to be all presumptuous, especially not about Lindsay Lohan. It’s not like she’s ever been caught doing something that wasn’t on the up and up, so why shouldn’t she just be allowed to casually jet across the United States to New York City, and to party, too?

Gosh. Maybe it’s time we cut Lindsay Lohan some slack. She’s just trying to get along, you know. Example? What she put on her Twitter account earlier today about all of the smack that people have been talking on her ever since she was questioned with regard to the stealing crime:

All of this negative press is BS. … Whenever I’m doing great, people fabricate lies. It’s such a shame. I’m just sayin’

Seriously. Lindsay’s doing just great, why can’t you all just leave her alone? I’m “just sayin’,” too.