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Lindsay Lohan

Don’t Bother Texting Lindsay Lohan

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Lindsay Lohan is currently enjoying a little European vacation, and it’s apparently keeping her from responding to texts. Her “friends” are like, super worried, you guys. From Radar:

“Lindsay has abandoned her friends and her sober community,” a source close to Lohan tells RadarOnline.com exclusively. “She has stopped responding to our texts and calls and is basically ignoring everyone now. She’s getting the texts because they show up as read; she’s just not answering.”

“Some of these people have been friends with her for more than a decade,” the source continues.”There is nothing anyone can do, until she answers.”

Okay, not to be all “Team Lohan” here (gag me), but maybe she’s ignoring your texts because every time she responds, shit like this winds up in the tabloids. I don’t think Lohan has any real friends anymore. She’s either damaged the relationships she made or has made friends with people who sell her out. These sources talking to Radar are some pretty shitty friends.

Meanwhile, rumors persist that she’s missing rehearsals for what is sure to be a craptacular theatre debut. Girl doesn’t need “friends” or even actual friends — she needs a life coach, STAT.

P.S.: If you could text Lohan ANYTHING, what would you text her?

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Lindsay Lohan needs more attention, please

lindsay lohan bikini

Lindsay Lohan is basically on permanent vacation, which I sort of don’t understand since she actually tricked someone into giving her a role in a West End play so you would think she would need to be at rehearsals or, you know, doing something. Instead, she’s taking selfies in a bikini so that you’ll all give her as much attention as possible.

It’s pretty great that the shadows here cover all the weird drug bruises, scrapes and cuts she has all over her legs. That’s my favourite part. Here’s the thing, though: all she needs to do to be a beautiful girl is like, you know, stop smoking crack or snorting coke or whatever it is she’s doing. Start being an upstanding human being that’s reliable and dependable and not just full of shit. No selfies needed.

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Leonardo DiCaprio cheered when Orlando Bloom swung at Justin Bieber

leonardo dicaprio

The story of what went down at an Ibiza nightclub between Orlando Bloom and Justin Bieber last weekend just keeps getting better and better. We know that Orlando swung and Justin ducked, but more stuff keeps coming out of the woodworks that takes this tale to almost urban legend level. Like, for instance, the fact that Lindsay Lohan was there and tried to break the fight up, and that Leonardo DiCaprio was also there, but he actually cheered Orlando on.

From The Mirror:

Eyewitness Anastasia Skolkova, a former journalist from Spain, was the first person to break the story by posting a video on Facebook and Twitter, showing Bieber and Bloom rowing outside of a restaurant in Ibiza.

Speaking exclusively to The Mirror she said: “I went there with friends for dinner. We were on the table next to Orlando Bloom and Leonardo DiCaprio. There was also Lindsay Lohan, Puff Daddy and Erick Morillo at the restaurant. Justin said something when he came in which was aimed at Orlando, who then jumped onto a sofa to try and get at Justin. It was amazing. Everyone stood up and started watching like it was a show and clapping.

“There were actually two moments when it turned violent, it wasn’t just the one punch thrown. DiCaprio was flipping out and Lindsay Lohan was trying to call them. Justin’s face was amazing. I posted the video on Facebook so people would know about it and it’s a very crazy video. We filmed the fight and took a lot of photographs and have had offers from all over the world. It has just been crazy. I used to work as a journalist so I know how it works but I didn’t expect the response I got.”

LOL, I love how desperate this woman is to act like she’s anyone at all. Girl, no one cares about your video, we care about the actual fight. The “interest” is in the story, not you. Make your money and pipe down.

In any case, thank goodness Leo D. has some sense and was cheering Orlando on. Yeah, yeah, I know it’s immature and violence solves nothing in a wider context, but JB can used being knocked down a few pegs. After all, he’s always threatening to do it to others and acting like a big hard man who loves to fight, so he should be thrilled, right? A quick smack around the face would do him well. Might snap him back to reality.

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Rachel McAdams Gabs About Lindsay Lohan

rachel-mcadams

Rachel McAdams and Lindsay Lohan once starred in a movie together, remember? It’s hard to believe, but it’s true. (Since then, Lohan’s been up to other things. And McAdams is up to being a star and getting it on with her totally non-gay boyfriend.) That movie was the now-classic Mean Girls. And Ms. McAdams has something to say about Lohan.

And it’s nice, of course. Boooooo, give us goss! Anyway, here’s what she told Allure about working with Lohan, and none of it involves the words “cocaine” or “unprofessional.” Crazy! Via ABC News:

If anything, I was in awe of her talent. I looked at her as this experienced actor, and she had great comedic timing, so natural. It’s just funny to hear that because you never know what people are thinking. We all try to act like we’ve got it together.

Yeah yeah, blah blah, tell us something real, McAdams.

WHY IS SHE SO DAMN NICE??

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Well, Lindsay Lohan’s certainly looking healthy

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Lindsay Lohan is apparently living it up on some fool’s yacht in Italy at the moment (she can’t even afford NYC rent, so how she’s affording a yacht in Italy is beyond me – I don’t want to know what she’s doing for whoever owns it) and looking super healthy as she soaks up the sun. And by “super healthy”, I mean “super full of drugs and alcohol”, but I’m sure you made that automatic translation yourself.

Anyhow, enjoy these pictures of Lindsay looking totally cracked out of her mind. The whole picking of the face spots and stuff just seems like such an addict habit. I can’t even say I feel sorry for her at this point, I just… shake my head every time I see her.

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Lindsay Lohan’s sister Ali wants to be the next Dolly Parton

ali lohan dina lohan

Please try not to throw up in your morning coffee, but Lindsay Lohan‘s “younger” sister, Ali Lohan, apparently wants to become a country singer now. She’s done the modeling thing (and the 5,000 cosmetic surgeries that come with it, apparently?) and now she’s ready to move on to music.

From TMZ:

We’re told Ali — who was last seen trying to launch a career as a NYC fashion model — has been writing songs and working with a singing coach.

We’re told Ali and mom Dina, went to Nashville last month to meet with producers and soak up the hillbilly vibe. She’s also learning to play different musical instruments.

Ali is not without success … she’s already snagged a $120K contract offer from one label — which also includes business roles for Dina … and Ali’s dad, Michael.   Couldn’t see that coming, right?

But Ali’s not committing … she thinks she can do even better so she’s meeting with other music execs.

Uh, what’s label’s this with, Crack Pipe Records? I’m sorry, but I just can’t with anyone in this family. Have Dina and Michael realized that the well has run dry with the older daughter, who will smoke and snort every penny she earns (if she ever even earns it), so they’ve had to move on to pimping out the younger one? Fuck off.

Also, Dolly Parton looks younger than Ali Lohan. Just saying.

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Lindsay Lohan “never wanted to be a celebrity”

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Lindsay Lohan is desperate for fame, fortune and attention from any direction she can get it. She’s so keen on being “back on set” that she continues to shit all over anyone who is actually dumb enough to give her a 3,985th chance. She’s “willing to work”, sure, but that’s what it’s all about – the work. She never actually wanted to be a celebrity, according to her.

From BBC News:

“People have certain perceptions of me. For a long time, people looked at me as kind of a celebrity, which is something I never wanted. That’s not what I got into this industry for.”

“I’ve been doing this since I was 3 years old and I’ve been on set since I was 6. People kind of forgot that, and I think now is a good time. And what better than to do it with the great people that I’m working with on stage in London … so that people can focus on the fact that I’m in this industry because I’m an actress and an artist and not just someone you take photos of?”

Lindsay also claimed that she’s constantly paranoid now and that her friends think she’s neurotic because she’s so jumpy. You know, because that’s not all the cocaine or anything.

“My friends think I’m neurotic,” she said, “but I will hear a flash of an iPhone camera, I will hear the shutter from a mile across the room. I will feel it.”

The star added social media was allowing her to regain control of her image.

When a US tabloid published a picture of her with cuts and scratches on her leg last week, she posted a similar image on Instagram, explaining she had fallen off a bike.

“[They said] that I’d cut myself purposefully, which was dark,” she said. “I have siblings. People see that. Producers see that and I don’t need people having that perception of me.

“The benefit of something like Instagram is I can use that to my advantage and I can say ‘look, this is what happened’ and make light of the situation because it was actually kind of funny.

“If I give the shot first, then there’s no shot to get.”

LOL, okay. “Producers see that.” Uh, no producers are paying attention to you, anymore, girl. You blew that shit years ago. And as for you trying to set the record straight, so to speak, via your Instagram account, no one’s buying that, either. God, the levels of delusion here are unrivaled.

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