4Lady Gaga Goes Out In A Louis Vuitton Wheelchair To McDonald’s

Lady Gaga is confined to a wheelchair for a little while while she’s recovering from a hip injury, and I guess her gold one isn’t cool anymore because now she’s hitting the town in a f-cking Louis Vuitton wheelchair. Why does this annoy me as much as it does? I’m not sure. Is it just that it looks really, really stupid?

The Daily Mail highlighted her stupid night in Chicago, Illinois in her stupid chair with rumored fiance Taylor Kinney. They went to Richard’s Bar and then Polekatz Gentlemen’s Club, topping the evening off with a stop at McDonald’s. And that’s how they celebrated her birthday. Like you do.

April 1, 2013 at 5:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

3Lady GaGa and Tony Bennett Are Recording An Album to Put You To Sleep

Lady GaGa is alive and well and isn’t taking any hints from fate that she might need to take a goddamn break for a little while. Instead, she’s working as much as ever and one of her projects is a full-length jazz album with Tony Bennett asldzzzzz… oh, sorry, fell asleep on the keyboard. I’m all about the classics and Tony Bennett certain qualifies as a music legend, but that record is going to be a one way ticket to Snoozetown. Let’s let Pepaw share the news.

From Rolling Stone:

“We’re working on it from now until June, and then we’ll record in June. She’s phenomenal,” he said during a dinner at the Amy Winehouse Gala and Inspiration Awards, which recognized him with a Lifetime Achievement honor. “I get along great with her. She’s looking forward to it and so am I.”

Yeah, you two are the only ones. I love jazz music, and I love Frank Sinatra and Sam Cooke and the like, but GaGa is NOT a jazz singer. There’s no way to spin her as one. Amy Winehouse could have pulled it off, Adele could, lots of singers, but not GaGa. I’m sorry, just nope.

March 25, 2013 at 7:30 am by Jennifer

3Lady Gaga Had Hip Surgery; Is Not Dead, Is Still Working

Lady Gaga‘s hip surgery was a success and she’s not slowing down. In fact, she is “doing unbelievable.” The singer is still in some pain after tearing all kinds of muscles and joints and shit in her body (I’m not a doctor) and is confined to a really expensive custom-made golden wheelchair.

On her surgery that occurred a few weeks ago, she released this statement:

As they wheeled me into surgery today, I thought about all of your pain and perseverance, your unique family situations, school environments, health issues, homelessness, identity struggles — sometimes you are so brave that it terrifies me. I wonder how it’s even possible. So I thought to myself, I’m alive, I’m living my dream, and this is just a bump in the road. I’m grateful because this is temporary, and for some it is not. You have changed my life. I love you and am proud to be a part of your lives. If you can do it, I can do it too, and if we stick together we can get through anything. Love, Gaga.

MTV reported that while Gaga isn’t touring, her bus is, as her bus some sort of charity raising self-esteem thing.

The tour cancellation also halted the Born Brave Bus, which was on the road in support of Gaga’s Born This Way Foundation. The foundation’s goal is to inspire bravery and promote self-acceptance among young people, and Gaga described the bus tour as “a fun tailgating experience for Monsters to unite.”

However, on March 14, it was announced that the bus was starting back up and embarking on a four-city tour. On Saturday and Sunday, it will stop in New York City’s Times Square, and next Wednesday, the bus will park at Chicago’s Navy Pier.

She’s also working on her latest album, Artpop. Dude, maybe take it easy for a little while. Again, I’m not a doctor, I’m just a person with common sense.

March 21, 2013 at 3:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives

0Lady GaGa’s Wedding Dress Will Be Versace

When the poor man’s Madonna rises from her golden wheelchair just in time to walk down the aisle with alleged fiancé Taylor Kinney, she’ll apparently be wearing Versace. Lady GaGa will eschew tradition (because of course she will) for her wedding and instead asked Donatella Versace to make her a black and gold gown with diamonds in it (because of course she did).

From The Sun:

The singer asked the fashion queen to create a gown made with black and gold silk with diamonds sewn into the bodice.

She also wants a removable skirt and train which can be converted into another gown for the ceremony – tipped to be held this summer.

A source said: “Gaga’s spending millions on her wedding to TAYLOR KINNEY and Donatella Versace’s designing a typically over-the-top dress which on its own will cost thousands.

“She thinks white is cheesy and wants black and gold silk with all these crazy removable bits.”

Black and gold is a great colour combination, but for a wedding? I mean, I know GaGa could manage tacky and gaudy even if she chose to wear white, but this is just taking it to another level. Also, removable pieces? This isn’t The Monster Ball tour, girl. I wonder if the priest performing the ceremony will speak from a flaming pulpit.

March 17, 2013 at 8:30 am by Jennifer

4Gaga Bought A Fancy-Ass Gold Wheelchair

Lady Gaga is rolling around in an exclusively designed gold plated wheelchair. AREN’T WE FANCY? Gaga injured herself badly enough to have to stay off of her feet. (She has a labral tear of the right hip and synovitis, severe inflammation of the joints.) She last tweeted a photo of a normal wheelchair with, “This is Emma” so I guess this means Gaga and Emma broke up.

MTV details on this fancy-ass wheelchair:

We’ve received an exclusive scoop from the chair’s designer, Ken Borochov, that he was commissioned specifically by Lady Gaga herself to design the wheelchair. Ken is the creative force behind MORDEKAI, and has designed pieces for Mama Monster in the past, but nonetheless, he was still surprised to get the call. “I certainly wasn’t expecting that phone call and have never done a wheelchair but am always up for a challenge and was thrilled to create what I affectionately dubbed the Chariot, a chair fit only for a queen,” Ken said in an official statement.

Logically, Ken looked first to a throne for his inspiration. He then fashioned the Chariot from tufted calf leather, inspired by classic motorcycle jackets, adding a removable leather canopy that we REALLY want to get a look at. The wheels and hardware are 24-Karat gold plated. Maybe the craziest detail of all of this, the whole business had to be completed in a single week! Well done, Ken Borochov, well done.

lololol “logically, Ken looked first to a throne for his inspiration” ahhhhh.

What upsets me most is that this photo was taken by her friend Terry Richardson. Why are we letting Terry Richardson out? He is one of the most disgusting human beings on the planet and yet celebrities around the world clamor to be his BFF. His photos are great but I’m pretty sure any kid with a DSLR and a lighting kit can achieve the same thing AND without sexually harassing anyone!

March 12, 2013 at 3:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives

4Is Lady Gaga Getting Married?

Lady Gaga may be married to boyfriend Taylor Kinney soon, according to a close friend. As reported in DNA:

Lady Gaga is all set to get hitched this summer to her longtime boyfriend Zero Dark Thirty movie hunk Taylor Kinney, one of her closest friends has revealed.

DJ Lady Starlight, who has performed on stage and in the studio with Gaga, has revealed that the Bad Romance singer had told her that Kinney is the one for her, the Daily Star reported.

She also said that Gaga is so desperate to be near the actor that she is recovering from a recent hip surgery in Chicago where Kinney is busy shooting his US TV series Chicago Fire.

She further added that an announcement could be expected soon, as there’s a summer period when Kinney’s shooting schedule will be clear and her concert and studio commitments will be minimal.

The dude who is going to be Mr. Gaga is going to have to be a strong enough person to accept that a big chunk of his identity is going to be Lady Gaga’s husband.

Gaga and Mr. Kinney have been dating since 2011. He played her husband in her You And I video.

Let’s be real, we’d all love to see her wedding dress. Or egg, or whatever.

March 11, 2013 at 4:30 am by Catherine St. Ives