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Kevin Federline

Is this Kevin Federline’s dick?

kevin federline

I’m sorry to scar your retinas so early in the morning/so close to lunch time, everyone, but news is news and here we are. Photographs of Kevin Federline‘s dick apparently surfaced online yesterday and everyone is going nuts. Keep in mind that a) this is probably not Kevin Federline’s dick and b) if it is, it’s his dick from like, 15 years ago when he wasn’t fat.

KFed has since claimed that this isn’t his junk and his is actually way bigger, which… LOL, okay… Let’s ask Britney about that one. But anyway, it’s behind the cut. Again, I apologize… and happy holidays!

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Britney’s Wedding Planner Gives Insider Info On KFed Wedding


Britney Spears got married to Kevin Federline 10 years ago — feel old yet? They were married September 18, 2004, at the home of Britney’s wedding planner, Alyson Fox. Now she’s talking to Time magazine (I know, right?) about the experience and gives insider info on the whole weird wedding. Fun fact: this was Ms. Fox’s first and only celebrity wedding. It was also a surprise wedding. And originally, the venue wasn’t supposed to be her (Alyson Fox’s) house, but after the media figured out where the wedding would be they had to scramble and come up with a different location, which they did — in 10 days.

Here are some choice quotes:

TIME: Britney and Kevin Federline’s engagement was huge. Did you think that this would be one of the biggest weddings-
Alyson Fox: —of my career? Yes, I mean, she is Britney Spears. I first interviewed with Felicia, her assistant for years, and I didn’t know who I was meeting with, just that it was a VIP… I met Britney and her mom the next day and they all couldn’t be nicer. The sweetest. I mean they’re from the South. Britney’s so polite, she kept calling me Miss Alyson, and I was like, ‘Oh my God don’t do that; that makes me feel old.’

And then you met Kevin.
They were like any young couple. Very much in love, very touchy feely.

As for the surprise aspect, guests were invited to what they thought was an engagement party, but turned out to be a wedding. No one knew, not even Britney’s mom.

Remember KFed and Britney’s Juicy Couture tracksuits that said “MAIDS” and “PIMPS” on the back for the bridal party and groomsmen?


Don’t worry, they didn’t actually get married in those. They changed into tuxedos. Fox says,

That’s what they left the house in. They were in tuxedos and gowns. Everybody made such a big deal about that, but that’s what Juicy did for every celebrity who got married. They’d send them the cute little tracksuits. I asked Britney and Kevin what they wanted printed on the back, and Britney said, “Maids! Maids will be cute!” And it was. It was cute! And he said “Pimps” which was adorable… People are closed-minded. It was a joke, it was for fun. It was Juicy tracksuits! 10 years ago people would have given anything for a Juicy tracksuit.

Yeah, I don’t know if “adorable” is the right word for a tracksuit that says “PIMPS” on the back.

Now that Ms. Britney Spears is single again I wonder if she’s reminiscing about her wedding. Hopefully she’s not regretting her divorce, because marrying KFed was absolutely bonkers. I can’t think of a more respectful way to say that, sorry.

Do you have a favorite celeb wedding?

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Britney Spears’ Sons Might Be Famous One Day!

britney spears kids

Britney Spears has managed – against all odds – to really pull her life together over the past couple of years and really re-endear herself to the public. Helping this is the fact that she has two adorable sons with her ex-husband Kevin Federline, 7-year-old Sean Preston and 6-year-old Jayden James. Aren’t they cute?

Sitting down with Mario Lopez for a new interview, Britney opened up about family life with the kids – how hard it is to diet when the kids are chomping on Cheetos and Little Debbies and her feelings on putting them in to showbiz, if that’s what they end up wanting to do. Here’s a few choice quotes:

“When they come over, the snacks are constantly piling up and I constantly have to feed them. I’m like, ‘Jesus! I want fried chicken too!’”

Don’t we all want fried chicken? I could eat some right now, to be honest.

“They do like attention, so I think they would probably be a little good in the limelight.
“We’re taking baby steps at this point as far as agencies and stuff like that goes, but they’re little comedians, so we’ll see.”

Oh, dear. BritBrit, you’re in the danger zone. I know the world needs child stars, but having been through the experience herself and seeing how much it’s nearly destroyed her, why in the hell would she want to put her own kids through the same thing? Surely a paycheck’s not worth that much.

Watch the full interview below:

Quotables: K-Fed Is So Happy for Britney!

A photo of Kevin Federline

“I’m really happy for her—I think he’s a great guy. “She’s happy; she’s doing really well. I want to say she’s in a good place. I haven’t spoken to her much since I’ve been over here—both of us have been busy with her being on tour—but I do know from talking to the kids and talking to the kids’ teachers that they’re doing really good. It’s a good step in the right direction. I’m totally happy for her.”

- Kevin Federline expresses his happiness for his ex-wife, Britney Spears, upon news of her engagement.

He also had this to say about Britney’s famous breakdown:

“It was tough,” Kevin remarked about the ordeal. “I had to do what I had to do for the safety of our children. But at the same time, it tears my heart to pieces to watch your ex go through that, let alone watch anybody go through that. It’s horrible. It was a completely dramatic, depressing stage of my life that I’m so glad I’m over and get to leave behind. It was tough.”

And as for Britney’s future husand, Jason Trawick, K-Fed said that he “seems like a really good guy” and that “the kids speak highly of him and her family loves him.”

You guys, I’m going to let you in on something here: I’m crying right now. I am crying real tears because of words that Kevin Federline said. Is this real life? What’s happening to me? Am I alone in this? Am I crazy, or is Kevin actually starting to sound like an intelligent person?

Caption This: Kevin Federline Takes All of His Kids To Play Ball

Kevin Federline was photographed taking his gang of children to the park yesterday for a quick game of ball and the pictures are kind of cute but mostly hilarious. Seeing Kevin with all four of his kids is quite a sight, especially since the Kevin we first met was the kind of guy you’d be afraid to leave with so much as a pot of boiling water.

It’s nice to see that his children with Shar Jackson and his sons with Britney Spears all seem to get along, though. I bet that Britney’s boys are psyched when they get to spend time with their dad and their slightly older siblings.

Kevin Federline Promotes Common Sense

Kevin Federline is still working the whole, “Remember when I used to be married to a very famous person who kind of publicly lost her mind?” angle. Of course we do, Kevin. We wouldn’t remember you from anything else.

In this new anti-drunk driving commercial for “common sense”, “actor/rapper/dancer/model”, Federline says, “An ex-wife of mine once told me that we needed to use more Common Sense. Now we can.”

Which wife was that, Kevin? Shar Jackson? The other mother of your children, Britney Spears? *rolling my eyes*

I Guess Britney Got the Kids for the Holiday


Kevin Federline and his girlfriend, Victoria Prince, were spotted at an Ed Hardy promotional event in Brisbane, Australia. I think it’s phenomenally strange that Kevin Federline is still famous anywhere, let alone all the way over in Australia. But I guess if you’re an American celebrity and you’re looking to be photographed this week, the place to be is anywhere outside the U.S.. Because no one in the U.S. is working this week, the photo agencies are making everybody crazy trying to push photos of foreign people you’ve never heard of at, like, a red carpet event in some random Italian city. (Where the hell is this Rome place? Is it near Turin?)

This is the closest thing I have to a photo of an American celebrity today. Enjoy. Here’s hoping Stephanie Pratt goes a little overboard with the “tryptophan” tonight and gives us some news to report tomorrow.