Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Katy Perry

Watch This: Katy Perry’s New Lyric Video

Is Katy Perry particularly fond of doing those lyric videos upon the release of a new single, or is this something that’s becoming popular all around? Likewise, is being kind of passive aggressive through song a new trend, or is that just Katy’s way too?

Really, this is just a shame. Russell Brand has never said a bad word about Katy Perry, publicly, anyway. In fact, he has kind, lovely words to say about her. Katy, meanwhile, has apparently started releasing songs describing her failed marriage. First, she released “Part of Me,” a song with such pointed lyrics as “you can keep the diamond ring, it don’t mean nothing anyway,” and now she has this new single, “Wide Awake,” which really takes things a little too far. I thought “Part of Me” was kind of childish, but whatever, I figured she just needed to get it out of her system, but this new song? “I am born again out of the lion’s den. I don’t have to pretend, and it’s too late, the story’s over now, the end.” Ugh. And she paired the lyrics with Facebook updates from the past couple of years, documenting her success? Cool move, Katy.

Also, to me, Katy Perry’s music is always pretty dumb, but always maddeningly catchy. This isn’t even catchy. If I can’t count on Katy Perry to release songs that make my hate myself for secretly enjoying, then what is the world coming to?

Who Told Everyone to Look Ridiculous at The Billboard Music Awards?

A photo of Miley Cyrus

Really though, who was it? Because whoever it was is not a good friend. Whoever called the entire guest list of the Billboard Music Awards and said “hey, just wanted to let you know to be sure to have awful hair, horrible makeup, and/or a really bad dress! Love you, girl!” has a dark, mischievous spirit and needs to be held accountable for all of this.

There was Miley Cyrus, obviously, and her ensemble. Sarah showed you her choices just a little while ago, but you know I can’t just let that be the end of it. Look at that hair, you guys. I know Miley’s a Southern girl, so she was ingrained with that meaningful mantra, “the higher the hair, the closer to God,” but this isn’t the Dixie Stampede or the Grand Ole Opry, and you shouldn’t use your hair to fool yourself.

Then there was Natasha Beddingfield. Girl.

A photo of Natasha Beddingfield

And Justin Bieber wore a wallet chain and two earrings:

A photo of Justin Bieber

But then Katy Perry trumped them all with this mess:

A photo of Katy Perry

She’s wearing that tragic makeup again, as you can see. And her dress … I don’t even know what to say. Her dress looks like something I would have loved for my Barbies to have worn in 1994. Her dress looks like it would go great with a classic pair of jellies. Which is all to say that her dress looks silly but fun, I suppose. Meanwhile, her makeup …

A photo of Katy Perry

It’s just not a good situation.

Russell Brand Still Loves Katy Perry

A photo of Katy Perry and Russell Brand

From Us Weekly:

She was the one that got away.

Russell Brand and Katy Perry seemingly didn’t have the most amicable divorce. The British comic, 36, surprised the “Firework” singer, 27, by filing for divorce after just 14 months of marriage Dec. 30 and then proceeded to have a series of flings with other women shortly thereafter.

But Brand had nothing but affectionate praise for his ex speaking with Ellen DeGeneres on a Thursday appearance on Ellen.

“I still love her as a human being,” Brand said. “But, sometimes when you’re in a relationship I suppose it doesn’t work out, does it? But that doesn’t mean I regret it or anything.”

Perry has since rebounded with Florence + The Machine guitarist Robert Ackroyd, with whom she was spotted packing on the PDA at the Coachella Festival.

“I was very happy to be married with her,” Brand continued. “She’s such a beautiful human being and I just have only love and positivity for her.”

Reflecting on the bitter split, Brand said, “You can’t absolutely make everything the way you want it to be in life. Sometimes thing are just different and then you to just move with that and try and remain in contact with what is beautiful about yourself and each other with any situation.”

He called Perry “a person I still consider to be beautiful . . . I have nothing but positivity for her.”

Still, late last week, Brand finally decided to unfollow his ex on Twitter.

And this is why I like Russell Brand so much more than Katy Perry. This seems like such a thoughtful, mature response, and I love that. Katy Perry, meanwhile, has chosen to react to the divorce through her dark, dark fashion and her gift of song, dedicating such powerful messages to Russell as “this is the part of me that you’re* never gonna ever take away from me (no).” For whatever reason, I don’t think that’s as classy.

*You guys, I’m so tired that I had to stop and think about where the apostrophe key was on my keyboard. I looked, even, and I couldn’t find it. I was like “I’ll just go back a few words and my fingers will go there automatically, but even that didn’t happen. I finally worked it out, but thank goodness I have a proofreader:

Love It or Leave It: Katy Perry’s Dark Soul and Awful Lipstick

A photo of Katy Perry

For the past couple of months, Katy Perry has been working pretty hard to change her image. She gave an interview where she stated that things were “about to get real f-cking dark,” and a few days after that she showed up at an event in leather boots, a leather jacket, dark makeup, and a bad attitude. Throughout March and April, she wore a mean ol’ scowl everywhere she went, and she even changed her blue hair to a way more sinister shade of purple. She made it clear that yes, things were getting real f-cking dark.

But now it’s May, and I suspect the transformation is complete. Here’s another picture of Katy from last night:

A photo of Katy Perry

Oh wow, Katy, you look so dark and mysterious! Maybe we can go get coffee sometime – not at Starbucks though, because that’s so mainstream – and I can read through your poetry, and then we can discuss how hard it is to live in the world when no one understands you. I would say that it would be a really cool experience, but I don’t want to offend you. I know that nothing’s cool when you have such a blazing fire burning inside your heart.

And just because it’s Friday, here’s a bonus picture of Katy staring off into the distance as she tries to articulate what On the Road meant to her:

A photo of Katy Perry

What do you think of Katy’s new look?

Katy Perry’s Got Another New Boyfriend, Probably Banged Him in the Port-a-Potty at Coachella

photo of katy perry new boyfriend at coachella pictures
How else would you explain that big red blotch that’s about to be a mad bruise on the inside of girlfriend’s leg? It’s awfully high-up to be making excuses like, “Oh yeah that was totally from the bull-riding contest I was in at the other tent.”I mean, if so, what was she riding—its head? No. She was probably riding her new boyfriend’s head. Case and point.

And speaking of new boyfriends, did you guys hear who Katy‘s new one is? It’s the guitarist from Florence + the Machine, Robert Ackroyd. From the Sun:

The 27-year-old singer was seen kissing and cuddling her new playmate, Florence And The Machine guitarist Robert Ackroyd, at the Coachella music festival this weekend.

Perry and the Brit were cosying up for all to see as they watched her best mate Rihanna perform at the US event.

First up was an alleged fling with French model Baptiste Giabiconi, but now things are hotting up with Brit award-winner Ackroyd.

The tattooed musician and the leggy singer couldn’t keep their hands off each other as she flung her arms around him and they swayed along to the music like a loved-up couple.

So she’s off the model and onto the musician. This is going to end well for good old Katy here. To be honest, I don’t think Katy knows what she wants these days. She wants Russell Brand back. She wants to be a movie star. She wants to date every half-decent-looking guy in Hollywood. She wants us to see her bare boobs, kind of. Sounds to me like it’s a confused little girl that doesn’t know how to put her open hands away.

Also, Katy, your “I wanna be just like you” friend up there in that photo is … well, she’s making you look bad by ripping your look off, and she looks even sillier, thus making you look even worse.

Check out the photos of Katy snuggling with her new boyfriend in the gallery.

Katy Perry Wants to Be A Movie Star!

A photo of Katy Perry

Can I just say one thing real quick? The world does not deserve to suffer through more of Katy Perry‘s acting. It’s unfair and it’s cruel. Honestly, I feel abused from seeing her Proactiv commercial every once in a while, and I don’t think I should have to be submitted to actual films.

But don’t mind me, because Katy wants to be a star!

From the National Enquirer via Celebitchy:

Quirky singing sensation Katy Perry is planning to hit a new high note in her career…as a movie star.

The songbird known for her wild fashion style and revolving hair colors has already branched out by being a spokesperson for Proactiv skin care products, and she now wants to add “leading lady” to her resume.

“Even people who don’t know Katy’s music know her form her Proactiv ad campaign,” said a close source. “With her photogenic face, producers are confident she’ll be able to make the jump from the recording studio to the big screen.”

To accomplish her new goal, Katy has enlisted the help of “Saturday Night Live” star Kristen Wiig.

She’s betting that Kristen, who’s also won raves for her acting and scripting of the movie hit, Bridesmaids, can help katy reinvent herself in the wake of her split from comic actor Russell Brand, say insiers.

The “Part of Me” singer and the “SNL” funnylady have been fast friends since Katy hosted the late-night comedy show in December.

“Katy is plotting a huge image and career makeover,” revealed the source. “Coming off a painful divorce from Russell, she wants to start fresh. She feels like she’s reached her full potential as a musician. She is looking for new challenges and is begging Kristen to write a comedy for her.”

The 27-year-old pop idol has already had some minor screen roles. But with Kristen’s help, she’s hoping to make movie magic, and if a role calls for showing a lot of skin, Katy’s all for it.

“Although Katy is a real-life preacher’s daughter, she’s not shy,” said the source. “She’s never had a problem showing off her ample assets.”

Here’s why this sucks: if Kristen Wiig writes a movie, I feel like I’ll have to see it: I loved Bridesmaids too much not to. But Katy Perry? Really? Katy Perry acting out Kristen Wiig’s visions? Can someone please tell me what the hell I ever did to deserve this?

You Almost Saw Katy Perry’s Boob. BOOM.

photo of katy perry boob slip nipslip pictures photos 2012 pic
Normally I’d be all giddy and giggly, saying something along the lines of “Ooh, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for!” or something equally corny as hell, but guys.

Guys.

It’s not funny. Because do you see how desperate Katy Perry is? Oh my God she’s so desperate. At first glance, all you can really do is look at the voluptuous, fleshy mound that she calls her tit, and you’re kind of mesmerized. Katy Perry’s got a great rack, after all, and even a “Whoops!” almost-boob-slip is fodder for at least fourteen minutes’ worth of fantasy, right? Sure. But after you come back, look at the strap on her arm. The strap that’s not all “Oh no! I’m an ill-fitting strap that’s all stretched out and barely hanging on I’m so limp,” it’s all, “Look at me—Katy Perry wanted to have her name in headlines tomorrow, so she pulled me down and even though I’m really straining against her upper arm, you’re supposed to be distracted and not even notice that this was intentional. THIS ISN’T EVEN COMFORTABLE FOR ME.” And folks, it almost got me. Almost!

Let’s take another look at this, shall we?:

photo of katy perry almost boob slip pics
There. Now that we can step back and get some perspective on the situation, it’s glaringly obvious that Katy Perry’s staging her own publicity stunts. Are you shocked? You shouldn’t be shocked. This is the down-home Christian girl that married—and divorced—Russell Brand all in a year’s time. Nothing about this twit should shock you.

Except for her boobs. Maybe her boobs should shock you. Because even though she’s a total f-cking moron, she’s got boobs for days, and I don’t think even we here at Evil Beet could withstand the sheer velocity of them if they ever did come tumbling out of the top of her dress.