Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Katy Perry

Love It or Leave It: Katy Perry, The Flapper

A photo of Katy Perry

You know what? I kind of love it. I know, I know, it’s pure costume – the dress, the shoes, the hair, the accessories, it’s all 1920′s as hell – but I enjoy costumey every now and then. Besides, if I have to pick between this and that completely ridiculous psedo-goth nonsense she’s been doing for the past month, the 20′s win, hands down.

And here’s a bonus bit of Katy Perry news: she’s being considered for a role in a Freddie Mercury biopic. Ugh:

Katy Perry is reportedly being lined up to playQueen legend Freddie Mercury’s girlfriend in a new film.

According to The Mirror, K-Pez is being considered for the role of Mary Austin and if successful, will star alongside funnyman Sacha Baron Cohen who is set to portray Freddie.

Baron Cohen is said to be already working with remaining Queen members Brian May and Roger Taylor on the biopic – which is apparently due to start filming next year.

A pal of Perry’s is quoted by the newspaper as saying that the Teenage Dream hitmaker would be thrilled to play Austin, adding: “Katy would love to be in the film as she is such a huge fan.

“Katy has a similar look to Mary and would be a brilliant foil to Sacha.”

Mercury famously dated Mary in the 1970′s for six years before admitting that he was bisexual, causing the couple to separate.

Freddie later claimed that despite having several male partners, he remained close to Austin calling her his “common-law” wife.

Before his death in 1991 after a battle with HIV, Freddie said: “All my lovers asked me why they couldn’t replace Mary. But it’s simply ­impossible.”

Katy has previously praised Mercury, describing him as her ‘musical idol’, while also dressing up as the iconic singer at her birthday party in 2008.

The film about Freddie is being produced by Academy Award winner Graham King, with the plot focusing on Mercury’s rise to fame, his time in Queen and the band’s historic Live Aid performance in 1985.

Am I the only one who remembers that Katy Perry is a horrible actor? Because I feel that way sometimes. Whenever the subject comes up, I feel like I’m in some weird alternate universe where everything is the exact same as it is in this universe, except no one realizes what a shitty actress she is. And then I get confused because everything and everyone looks the same, and everything seems completely normal except for the fact that no one is discussing this very important issue. And then I’m forced to find her Proactiv commercial and say “look, world, she can’t even convincingly discuss acne for two minutes.” It’s too much for one person to take.

Katy Perry is Always Classy

Oh man. Guys, I’m going to be completely blunt here: Katy Perry is stupid. And I don’t mean she’s lacking intellect (which, she might very well be, but I don’t want to know her well enough to determine whether or not she’s got the smarts), I mean she’s stoopid. She’s obnoxious, and she’s way, way over the top with … well, pretty much everything she does—and not in a good, cutesy way, either.

Katy recently interviewed with radio station Wild 94.9, where she discussed sex, Rihanna (and having sex with Rihanna), and sex (but not having sex). Yawn, boring; so predictable. The thing that stood out the most in this clip, however, was the fact that, as I said before, Katy’s one-on-one behavior is way over the top, especially when she knows a camera’s rolling. She’s like one of those people who tries to be funny, and looks at her company out of the corner of her eye to make sure they’re admiring her and laughing at her. Honestly, it kind of makes me want to vomit a little bit.

If you can’t—or don’t want to—watch the above clip, here are some of the highlights.

—Katy says “thug life” at least three times during the interview. No joke.
—”I just twerk like I’m crazy.”
—”I like a good boy, but sometimes I get bored.”
—”I’m a good Christian girl. … I would never have sex to my own song.”
—When asked if she and Rihanna were ever going to collaborate on new music, Katy said, “No, but we’re going to have sex.”

On the whole, it was almost four minutes of pure hell, and that was with my eyes closed.

Katy said at one point, “… You’re a real person; you’ve got real problems,” and yes, guys, this is something I definitely have to agree with. She makes a valid point. She does have real problems.

Sorry, but I’d have to take Gwyneth Paltrow over this chick any day. Yeah, Gwyneth’s way self-obsessed and stuck so far up her own ass, but at least she doesn’t pretend she isn’t. LIKE SOME PEOPLE.

Stars Without Makeup: Katy Perry Loses Her Mask

A photo of Katy Perry

I say that Katy Perry has a mask, of course, because that’s always what she has on her face whenever we see her. She piles on tons and tons of foundation, concealer, false eyelashes, and lately, she’s taken a liking to that god-awful dark lipstick as well. She wears so much makeup, I bet she’s wearing makeup that we don’t even know exists yet.

Just in case you need a refresher, here’s what Katy Perry’s face usually looks like:

A photo of Katy Perry

But in a new promo for her super special tour documentary, Part of Me, we get to see Katy bouncing around with no makeup. Or, ok, probably still the foundation, but this is way, way more of Katy’s actual face than we’ve ever seen before. Except for that time that Russell Brand posted that one picture on Twitter, the one where she’d just woken up and looked confused and/or mortified. Remember that? That was probably the beginning of the end.

I think she looks like a cute girl, but she’s completely average. Like, I can think of a number of ladies off the top of my head that I know personally who I think are prettier than Katy. Not that that’s a bad thing: on the contrary, I think it’s awesome. It’ll show all the young girls that flock to this movie that you don’t have to be natural perfection to be a superstar.

But hey, did you see the peppermint titties? That’s the Katy we know and love!

Image courtesy of Celebitchy

Love It or Leave It: Katy Perry Is Still Doing This Sh-t

A photo of Katy Perry

I can’t even deal with this anymore. Katy Perry‘s fashion choices are just too awful to deal with. The dark, pseudo-gothic dresses, the dark lipstick … it’s too much. I really think that this whole phase will end up being the worst thing she’s ever done. She could go on to rob banks and steal lollipops from small children, or she could buy an island somewhere and start a horrible dictatorship, and I’d still be like “yeeeeah, but remember that ‘dark’ period?”

But it looks like she might have another reason for looking so dark and gloomy. You know how she was dating the guitarist from Florence and the Machine? Yeah, that’s not happening anymore:

Katy Perry is back on the market — again.

The 27-year-old singer has split from Florence + the Machine guitarist, Robert Ackroyd. The pair started dating about a month ago when they were photographed kissing at Coachella Music Festival.

“It wasn’t that serious,” a source tells Us Weekly of Perry’s relationship with Ackroyd. “It’s not a nasty thing and they are still talking, but Katy told him to do his thing and they’ll talk soon.”

“No hard feelings,” another source explains to Us. “She’s really busy and so is he.”

I hope that Katy really isn’t hurt by the breakup, but of course it’s not a total surprise. I know that if I was a dude and I found myself hooking up with Katy Perry, I’d be incredibly upset about getting all this somber nonsense, with nary a whipped cream-shooting boob in sight. But instead of going on again about how irritating all of this is, I’ll just share a picture of my kitten after he saw Katy’s latest ensemble:

I feel like his exasperation speaks for us all.

Maxim Magazine Debuts Their Hottest Women of 2012

photo of maxim hot 100 2012 pics
There were a hundred, but we’re just going to talk about the Top 5, because that’s always the most important part of the list, when you’re “ranking” people, right? The higher echelon? Because the rest of the list wasn’t all that impressive (really, Maxim? You really felt the need to put J Woww at slot number 74, higher than Christina Hendricks and Kat Dennings? Because come on), we’re going to feature the top five, and if you really feel the compulsion to find out who the other 95 women were, you can mosey on over to Maxim‘s site and check them out there. I don’t even know who some of the women were.

Ahem.

#5 – Olivia Wilde
photo of olivia wilde pictures

#4 – Katy Perry
photo of katy perry pictures

#3 – Mila Kunis
photo of mila kunis pictures photos

#2 – Olivia Munn
photo of olivia munn pictures

#1 – Bar Refaeli
photo of bar refaeli pictures photos
First, who made this list? A fifteen-year-old boy? Second, is said list from 2009, because I can think of a zillion other hot chicks that should be in the Top 5 list for 2012, and not one of these ladies (hot as they are) should be in the top 5. Third? The “world’s most beautiful women”? I know lots of people go crazy for Katy Perry and her fabulous rack, but I thought “most beautiful” generally meant “faces,” and not “bodies.” I don’t know.

Who belongs? Who doesn’t? Who thinks that the staff should be flogged with a herpe-infused cat o’nine tails for even including J Woww on the damn list?

Watch This: Katy Perry’s New Lyric Video

Is Katy Perry particularly fond of doing those lyric videos upon the release of a new single, or is this something that’s becoming popular all around? Likewise, is being kind of passive aggressive through song a new trend, or is that just Katy’s way too?

Really, this is just a shame. Russell Brand has never said a bad word about Katy Perry, publicly, anyway. In fact, he has kind, lovely words to say about her. Katy, meanwhile, has apparently started releasing songs describing her failed marriage. First, she released “Part of Me,” a song with such pointed lyrics as “you can keep the diamond ring, it don’t mean nothing anyway,” and now she has this new single, “Wide Awake,” which really takes things a little too far. I thought “Part of Me” was kind of childish, but whatever, I figured she just needed to get it out of her system, but this new song? “I am born again out of the lion’s den. I don’t have to pretend, and it’s too late, the story’s over now, the end.” Ugh. And she paired the lyrics with Facebook updates from the past couple of years, documenting her success? Cool move, Katy.

Also, to me, Katy Perry’s music is always pretty dumb, but always maddeningly catchy. This isn’t even catchy. If I can’t count on Katy Perry to release songs that make my hate myself for secretly enjoying, then what is the world coming to?

Who Told Everyone to Look Ridiculous at The Billboard Music Awards?

A photo of Miley Cyrus

Really though, who was it? Because whoever it was is not a good friend. Whoever called the entire guest list of the Billboard Music Awards and said “hey, just wanted to let you know to be sure to have awful hair, horrible makeup, and/or a really bad dress! Love you, girl!” has a dark, mischievous spirit and needs to be held accountable for all of this.

There was Miley Cyrus, obviously, and her ensemble. Sarah showed you her choices just a little while ago, but you know I can’t just let that be the end of it. Look at that hair, you guys. I know Miley’s a Southern girl, so she was ingrained with that meaningful mantra, “the higher the hair, the closer to God,” but this isn’t the Dixie Stampede or the Grand Ole Opry, and you shouldn’t use your hair to fool yourself.

Then there was Natasha Beddingfield. Girl.

A photo of Natasha Beddingfield

And Justin Bieber wore a wallet chain and two earrings:

A photo of Justin Bieber

But then Katy Perry trumped them all with this mess:

A photo of Katy Perry

She’s wearing that tragic makeup again, as you can see. And her dress … I don’t even know what to say. Her dress looks like something I would have loved for my Barbies to have worn in 1994. Her dress looks like it would go great with a classic pair of jellies. Which is all to say that her dress looks silly but fun, I suppose. Meanwhile, her makeup …

A photo of Katy Perry

It’s just not a good situation.