I don’t know if you’ve heard of the Spike TV Scream Awards. It bills itself as “honoring the best in fantasy, sci-fi, comics, and horror,” but that’s a load of crap because the winners are decided based on internet votes. And everyone knows the internet has great taste.
The awards show was taped yesterday in L.A. which means there was a lot of iconic media geekiness walking the red carpet. There was also a lot of terrible fashion. In particular, I’m personally disappointed in my girls Katee Sackhoff (Battlestar Galactica) and Kaley Cuoco (Big Bang Theory) for showing up looking like they should be working the register at The Limited… in 1992.
The awards show doesn’t air on Spike TV until Tuesday, October 27th. So, if you actually want to be surprised about who wins what…you’re probably not reading this site in the first place. But if you are, you should stop reading this post now.
The votes have been tallied, and who did the internet choose as the Best Sci-Fi Actress of 2009? Of course it was Megan Fox, that shining cudgel of brilliant Shakespearean acting ability, and tits. She won over Katee Sackhoff and Lena Headey (Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles).
Isabel Lucas, who was on screen for a forgettable 5 minutes in the same shitty giant robot movie as Fox, won an award for Best Breakout Performance for playing a “sexy” robot who tries to seduce The Beef.
But before you go thinking the voters were all 15 year old boys who chose the award winners based on Google image search wankability, you should know that there are more than a few voters with vaginas out there who own a fair share of the blame. Twilight won Best Fantasy Film (in a category that also included Watchmen, Coraline, and the latest Harry Potter installment) and Robert Pattison and Kristen Stewart won Best Fantasy Actor and Actress awards (other nominees in those categories included Brad Pitt & Hugh Jackman for Best Fantasy Actor and Emma Watson & Anna Friel for Best Fantasy Actress).
Whatever, internets. Whatever.