Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kate Walsh

Best And Worst Celeb Looks Of The Last Week of October

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It’s been a while since we’ve had a best and worst celebrity looks of the week, so here we go. This is from the last week of October. I chose Kelly Osbourne for best celebrity dressing up as another celebrity. That’s her above as Christina Hendricks. Pretty dead-on.

I promise not to overdo it on the Halloween costumes.

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Highlights from the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen

Photo from Comedy Central's Roast of Charlie Sheen, starring Charlie Sheen

So I finally watched the Roast of Charlie Sheen yesterday—it aired Monday night, yes, but I was busy—and I have to admit this Roast was pretty good. Not Bob Saget good, but then again, what is?

There was a real likelihood of the evening falling flat. How do you parody a parody? How do you make light of wife-beating? And who invites Mike Tyson to do stand-up, even? But the jokes were scathing, and the Roast bit to the quick. I’ve rolled my eyes at Charlie Sheen‘s recent I-Don’t-Have-a-Job Humble Pie Remorse Tour, and I don’t like him, but he sure did take his lumps like a champ. (Some critics are saying the jokes weren’t mean enough, but seriously, how many more jokes about Sheen ruining his kids’ lives did we really need?)

Warming Glow has compiled a comprehensive guide to some of the best zings of the night. Here’s a sampling.

Comedian Anthony Jeselnik, to Charlie Sheen:

- “Every minute of your life looks like the first two minutes of SVU.”

- “The only reason you got on TV in the first place is because God hates Michael J. Fox.” (Cut to actor Richard Kind, in the audience, having a heart attack.)

Jeffrey Ross:

- “If you’re ‘winning’, this must not be a child custody hearing. The only time your kids get to see you is in reruns. Don’t you want to live to see their first 12 steps?”

Jon Lovitz:

- “How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men!”

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Kate Walsh Says She’s A Wharf Rat. I Can See That.

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Hey, I didn’t call her a “wharf rat.”  I’m just trying to be supportive and agreeable here!

Private Practice star, Kate Walsh appears in the March issue of Redbook and talks about the dissolution of her marriage.  This is it in a nutshell:  When she got married, she didn’t think she would be getting divorced.  She is known for being very persistent and trying, trying, trying.  She got divorced after fifteen months.  She still cares about her ex-husband.  She was sad.  She’s dating.  She’s an insecure and desperate, quivering wharf rat.  She wishes she could call guys and hang up but can’t because of caller ID.  She longs for the days of being able to stalk dudes.

Kate obviously hasn’t heard of Facebook.  Because I stalk my legions of exes on there.  I love when they look really bad and defeated by life.  Oh, I meant to say that I hope they are happy.  Sigh…see why I could never be a celebrity?