Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Karl Lagerfeld

Why Not? Karl Lagerfeld Wants to Marry His Cat, Choupette

karl lagerfeld

Never has there been a holier union than that between man and his pet cat. Karl Lagerfeld and Choupette have found true love, and Karl would love nothing better than to seal the deal and yet… it is impossible. Life is so unfair!

From CNN (via DS again):

The eccentric 79-year-old said he was disappointed that there was “no marriage, yet, for human beings and animals”.

“I never thought that I would fall in love like this with a cat,” he is quoted as saying.

Choupette has it better than I do in life. She has her own iPad PLUS two maids to look after her. Talk about the good life. Oh, and she has a Twitter account to which she posts photos like this:

Quotables: Karl Lagerfeld Has Something to Say About Michelle Obama’s Hair

A photo of Karl Lagerfeld

“I adore Madame Obama. . . [but] frankly, this doesn’t suit her. The fringe was a bad idea, it’s not good.”

- Karl Lagerfeld delivers some fightin’ words.

Look, you don’t say anything bad about Michelle Obama. You just don’t. It doesn’t matter what she does, you say something nice or you just shut your mouth. Like if someone released some footage of Michelle Obama drowning puppies, you’d still be like “well, she did look really classy doing it.” If she made a statement about how she wanted to stop focusing on promoting healthy choices for kids and start promoting PCP use for kids, then you’d say something like “that’s a strong woman who can go after what she believes in.” And then you’d do this solemn, appreciative nod that everyone always seems to do when talking about this lady. Do you know what I’m talking about?

For those of you living under a rock in a cave with no wifi, here’s Michelle’s new bangs:

A photo of Michelle Obama

Flawless, right? Even my dad has a crush on her, and he never talks about any famous lady crushes. He called me after Obama won the election and said things like “I’m so glad Obama won so I don’t have to hear that other asshole talk anymore” and “his wife sure is a pretty woman, huh?” Everyone loves Michelle Obama.

So Karl Lagerfeld Drew This Weird Picture of Obama

A photo of Karl Lagerfeld

Sorry, but this is one of the times where I tell you the whole story in the headline. There’s no corresponding interview, there’s just no other information here besides the fact that Karl Lagerfeld drew this weird picture of Obama and it was published in a German newspaper.

Here it is:

Yes, that’s President Obama in a chef outfit. And yes, he’s carrying a cake shaped like the White House. I can’t tell you why. I can’t give you any further explanation. I can only tell you that this is real, and that it happened, and that it was published. That’s all I know.

Oh, and that caption says “the greatest chef in the world, 10 by 5 stars.” There, that’s all I can tell you. But, you see, I had to tell you. Because I can’t keep this stuff to myself.

So do you love it or what?