2‘N Sync Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together (Like, Ever)

Alright, let’s just get right down to it: ‘N Sync will probably never reunite, so if you were holding out for a “10 years later”-type mini tour or TV special, you’ll have to settle for making your JC Chasez doll dance and looking at that pic of Justin Timberlake’s hair next to a block of ramen noodles for the rest of your days. You can also listen to ‘Digital Getdown’ and giggle to yourself about how you used to think that song was secretly about, well, “digits” in naughty places. Nostalgia is a good thing, people – just… not for the band.

Lance Bass the heartbreaker shut it down in a new interview with Life & Style:

“I don’t think we’re doing anything,” former member Lance Bass told Life & Style at the SVEDKA Vodka’s 90s Throwback Valentine’s Day bash in LA on Jan. 31. “I don’t think [a reunion] would happen. Everyone is doing their own thing.”

Which makes sense, considering Justin Timberlake’s busy working on his new album — and he’s also one of the main reasons why Lance can’t foresee a future get together.

“Justin’s doing his thing,” he says. “I don’t think he would have a moment off to do an ‘N Sync album. He’s the busy one.”

Oh, so it all comes back to Justin being the asshole. I see! He didn’t even invite any of his former bandmates to his recent wedding to Jessica Biel, which Chris Kirkpatrick (the one with the nose ring and nasty dreads that no one liked) tried to pretend was no big deal, even though he was already in the same country. Daaaaamn.

“He didn’t want the wedding to be an ‘N Sync reunion, and I totally understand that,” Chris Kirkpatrick explained. “I already had plans to be in Italy anyway. It was just a coincidence that I was there when Justin got married. There’s really nothing negative about any of it.”

That’s cold as ice, Justin. Looks like he truly said “Bye, Bye, Bye” to his boyband past. (Shut up, I had to.)

February 5, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Jennifer

11Caption This: Last Week’s Winners and This Week’s Photo!

Did you enter last week’s Caption This contest? If so, you may have won some free shit! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, PLEASE check your email (or email me at the address to the right) or you’ll lose out on a prize! We’ll be choosing the winner for the above photo next Tuesday, so make sure to check back to find out who it is – and make sure you enter!

The winner on last week’s Justin Bieber photo:

Winner: Lindy

“Just keep smiling for the camera and the usher tickets are yours!”

Runner Up: J.R.

“Justin’s version of ‘tit for tat’.”

Congrats, Lindy! Now the rest of you – get captioning!

February 5, 2013 at 10:44 am by Jennifer

15Britney Spears Is Just “Some Bitch” Justin Timberlake Used to Know

Ah, Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears - the pop couple of the ’90s. If you thought about them at all, you probably thought they’d be together forever – but alas, we were all wrong. After Britney cheated on Justin in 2002, they called it quits, he released ‘Cry Me a River’ and she went nuts. Obviously both have moved on and have been married since, with varying degrees of success, but it’s clear there’s still some bad blood between them.

While performing at a Super Bowl charity gig in New Orleans on Saturday night, Justin prefaced a rendition of ‘Cry Me a River’ with a rather inflammatory statement about ole Brit Brit:

“Sometimes in life, you think you found the one. But then one day you find out that she is just some bitch!” (via DigitalSpy)

Ohhhh, snap! I mean, she probably is a bitch and all (especially if her recent stint on The X Factor USA is anything to go by), but damn. Of course, Justin denies that his comment was anything personal towards the pop princess and took to his Twitter page to set the record straight:

Yeah, okay, Justin – we believe you. Not.

February 4, 2013 at 9:30 am by Jennifer

1Justin Timberlake Released A Really Underwhelming Single

Fun fact: I wrote that headline after listening to exactly 22 seconds of the song. Or, like, I was finished typing it at 22 seconds, which means that it took that long to listen, not like it, and then type a sentence about it. Just consider that.

To be fair, the song did get better, but to be honest, it pretty much had to. This song is no “Sexy Back,” let’s just get that out of the way. It’s a song about how fun formal wear is. It’s just … I don’t know, guys. I can’t come up with much more to say about this song. It’s not that bad, but it’s certainly not great. Sometimes mediocrity just happens. This is one of those times.

But how do you feel about it?

January 14, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Emily

3Justin Timberlake on His Wedding: “Grown Men Were Weeping”

From Us Weekly:

As Us Weekly reported last week, Justin Timberlake serenaded bride Jessica Biel with an original new ballad at their Oct. 19 wedding in Puglia, Italy. Now, in a new interview with Britain’s Hello! magazine, the 31-year-old crooner confirms that he sang for Biel, 30 — as she walked down the aisle!

“I figured if there was something I was going to be able to offer, it would be to sing her down the aisle,” Timberlake explains to the magazine. And his soulful sweet sounds moved their 150 guests (including Andy Samberg, Beverley Mitchell and Questlove) looking on inside the chapel at Borgo Egnazia resort.

“Grown men were weeping. Hopefully it’s because I didn’t sound bad,” Timberlake reveals.

For her big bridal moment, the Total Recall actress donned a custom-made Giambattista Valli gown — in pink!

“[It] was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen,” Timberlake tells Hello.

One of Timberlake’s most memorable moments from the weeklong, multi-million dollar bash? The round of cheers from their friends and loved ones after exchanging vows.

“To hear all of our family and friends cheering at extremely loud, inappropriate decibel levels, that became the pinnacle of the ceremony,” he says. “It felt perfect. It felt like everything came together.”

As for why the couple — who had also mulled a California wedding early on — chose Italy? “We love to eat,” he explained.

Grown men were weeping, Justin Timberlake? Oh, I’m sure. I’m sure Andy Samberg was just hunched over in his seat, bawling at the beauty of your song. I’m sure, if they had been invited, your brothers from NSYNC would have been that moved as well. But the grown man weeping the most? I believe that would have been Jessica Biel‘s father. He would have been weeping all week just from the knowledge that his daughter truly found a winner.

October 30, 2012 at 7:30 am by Emily

17Justin Timberlake is Sorry About That Homeless Video Thing, Also, Here’s Some Wedding Photos

And no, I don’t know whether he’s sorry the video was MADE or if he’s just sorry that the news of said video got out to the commoners. I’ll have to get back to you guys on that one. Word on the street is that Justin‘s lamenting the existence of the “tasteless” video. This is what he has to say:

“I had no knowledge of its existence, [and] had absolutely ZERO contribution to it. I am deeply sorry to anyone who was offended by the video. Again, it was something that I was not made aware of. But, I do understand the reaction and, by association, I am holding myself accountable.”

Oh, OK. As long as he’s holding himself accountable. I mean, yeah, I know that he (I guess, anyway) had nothing to do with the making of this film, or the exploitation of the homeless people involved (they were allegedly paid forty bucks a pop for their cameos, which is a pittance when taking how much the people in Justin’s circles probably earn), but doubtless it was something he found to be funny, and not at all sad. Because really, why should you be sad when it’s not you or yours?

Boo on this shit.

October 26, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Sarah