Yes, yes, we know. Katy Perry and John Mayer are the happiest couple on earth and they have amazing sex (I’m trying not to gag) and they ALSO have a ton in common. Seems like a match made in heaven, right?
Here’s how deep their love goes (via DS):
“There’s a lot of understanding when you get home and say, ‘Ah, I had a pretty crappy show’,” she explained.
“[John's] like, ‘I understand because I’ve had one, too’. You get to share music. The dance parties are a lot more fun.”
Aw, well isn’t that special? Listen, I’m not here to tell anyone where to find true love, but I cannot imagine that these two are in it for the long haul. I really love Katy but I wonder about her choice in men. She seems to be attracted to men that she can fix or save. Travie McCoy was an addict, Russell was an addict (of a different kind), John is (was?) a douchebag womanizer… you are too good for this, boo.
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GAG ME WITH A SPOON, YOU GUYS! Oh how have I been wanting to use that phrase for such a long time now. Katy Perry, I really do adore you, but man what an obnoxious tweet you unleashed upon us today.
Two things you need to know you understand this tweet.
1. Katy Perry is dating John Mayer.
2. Katy Perry has a gigantic gold bus driving around the country to promote her upcoming Prism album.
She tweeted this,
Look who got a BF!!! Soy Qewt!
With this photo:
Yes, that’s John Mayer‘s bus below hers. You guys, their buses are dating!!! Soy qewt!!
Anyway I’m just cranky today because it’s Yom Kippur and I’m fasting. If you are too, Godspeed.
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If the fact that Katy Perry and John Mayer are a couple bothers you, prepare to get a whole lot more annoyed when you find out that the pair actually DID A DUET together that’s appearing on John’s new album, Paradise Valley. The track, titled ‘Who You Love’ (gag me), features such genius lyrics as:
- “I tried to run before but I’m not running anymore”
- “If it’s who you love, then it’s who you love.”
- “Some have said his heart’s too hard to hold, and it takes a little time, but you should see him when he shines, ’cause you never want to let that feeling go.”
Make it stop!
I don’t even know what to say about this, so I’ll just leave it here.
John Mayer and Katy Perry are a couple again. He even dedicated a song (“A Face To Call Home”) to her at once of his concerts, telling the crowd, “Katy [is] my face to call home.” (Huffington Post.) That’s sweet. Try not to f-ck it up this time.
Mr. Mayer and Ms. Perry were hanging out in a guitar store when they met some teenage fans. Nice celebs would pose for a photo or give an autograph, but John Mayer went even further. From The Daily News:
Julie Fermin, 16, happened to be in the SoHo store at the same time as the famous couple and had her eye on an expensive guitar she could not afford. Mayer then stepped in and purchased the instrument for her as a gift.
That was really, really nice of him. No sarcasm.
So congratulations, John Mayer. For a few hours in July of 2013, you were not a total douche.
Katy Perry must have thought she didn’t make enough bad decisions this year, as she appears to be back with John Mayer, wonderland destroyer. (I don’t know what I mean by that, just go with it, enjoy Friday.) Yesterday she posted the above annoying photo to her Instagram with the caption,
Whose broad stripes & bright stars?!
As of now the photo has 13.6k likes. Fans are posting comments like, “JATY IS BACK!”
I know it’s just their backs, but it’s definitely them and it’s definitely him — although whether or not they’re actually “back” is unclear. From US Weekly:
An eyewitness tells Us Weekly that the pop superstar cheered on the “Paper Doll” singer while he performed at the Philly 4th of July Jam at Benjamin Franklin Parkway in Philadelphia, Penn. “She watched him perform off stage and watched every second of his performance, singing along to every song and dancing,” the source tells Us. “She was so into his performance and gave him a big hug and kiss when he finished afterwards.”
So I guess she just happened to see him perform and they took a photo and no one banged each other afterwards.
Ever since Katy Perry and John Mayer were seen chatting at some Memorial Day BBQ, rumours have been flying that they’re back together, which is a total travesty. Now, some smarties have pieced together what are probably two entirely different incidents – John leaving her LA house one day, and a moving van bringing in some furniture another – to claim that he may be moving in. Say it ain’t so!
Luckily, that’s probably bullshit, and our beloved “source” claimed as much to E! Online, saying:
“They are just hanging out. They are not putting a label on it.”
Thank God. John Mayer is universally known to be The Worst, and you know “my perfect Katy” (LOL) deserves better. Any woman deserves better. My worst enemy would deserve better than John Mayer, people. Sigh. I guess this was always going to happen.
Chris Brown is a hated celebrity but apparently not as much as Anne Hathaway (which James Franco totally gets, btw). Star magazine released their super scientific list of top 20 most hated Hollywood celebrities. Weirdly Jay Leno is more hated than Chris Brown, which is making me laugh really hard. Here’s the stupid list:
20. Chris Brown
19. Jesse James
18. Taylor Swift
17. Shia LaBeouf
16. Lindsay Lohan
15. Angelina Jolie
14. Jay Leno
13. Ashton Kutcher
12. LeAnn Rimes
10 and 11. Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian
9. Anne Hathaway
8. Justin Bieber
6. Matt Lauer
5. Katherine Heigl
4. John Mayer
3. Jennifer Lopez
2. Kristen Stewart
1. Gwyneth Paltrow
This is a pretty good list. I’m shocked to see that Kanye West isn’t on here. I love him but I thought he was one of the most hated people around. I’m not sure if he’s psyched or pissed not to be included. I also didn’t realize that people hated Matt Lauer this much. Damn. Too bad this poll was taken after Justin Bieber’s idiotic Anne Frank statement or I’m sure he would be higher up. Kristen Stewart now has the dubious honor of being one of the most hated and least attractive female celebrities. Hey, good for her! At least she’s good at stuff!
Who is your ultimate most hated celebrity?