Today's Evil Beet Gossip
John Mayer

Katy Perry Wants Us To Know She’s Back With John Mayer

katy perry instagram 4th of july photo

Katy Perry must have thought she didn’t make enough bad decisions this year, as she appears to be back with John Mayer, wonderland destroyer. (I don’t know what I mean by that, just go with it, enjoy Friday.) Yesterday she posted the above annoying photo to her Instagram with the caption,

Whose broad stripes & bright stars?!

As of now the photo has 13.6k likes. Fans are posting comments like, “JATY IS BACK!

I know it’s just their backs, but it’s definitely them and it’s definitely him — although whether or not they’re actually “back” is unclear. From US Weekly:

An eyewitness tells Us Weekly that the pop superstar cheered on the “Paper Doll” singer while he performed at the Philly 4th of July Jam at Benjamin Franklin Parkway in Philadelphia, Penn. “She watched him perform off stage and watched every second of his performance, singing along to every song and dancing,” the source tells Us. “She was so into his performance and gave him a big hug and kiss when he finished afterwards.”

So I guess she just happened to see him perform and they took a photo and no one banged each other afterwards.

Is John Mayer Moving In With Katy Perry?

katy perry john mayer

Ever since Katy Perry and John Mayer were seen chatting at some Memorial Day BBQ, rumours have been flying that they’re back together, which is a total travesty. Now, some smarties have pieced together what are probably two entirely different incidents – John leaving her LA house one day, and a moving van bringing in some furniture another – to claim that he may be moving in. Say it ain’t so!

Luckily, that’s probably bullshit, and our beloved “source” claimed as much to E! Online, saying:

“They are just hanging out. They are not putting a label on it.”

Thank God. John Mayer is universally known to be The Worst, and you know “my perfect Katy” (LOL) deserves better. Any woman deserves better. My worst enemy would deserve better than John Mayer, people. Sigh. I guess this was always going to happen.

Here Are The Top 20 Most Hated Celebs In Hollywood…And Chris Brown Isn’t Even In The Top 5

katherine heigl sucks
Chris Brown is a hated celebrity but apparently not as much as Anne Hathaway (which James Franco totally gets, btw). Star magazine released their super scientific list of top 20 most hated Hollywood celebrities. Weirdly Jay Leno is more hated than Chris Brown, which is making me laugh really hard. Here’s the stupid list:

20. Chris Brown
19. Jesse James
18. Taylor Swift
17. Shia LaBeouf
16. Lindsay Lohan
15. Angelina Jolie
14. Jay Leno
13. Ashton Kutcher
12. LeAnn Rimes
10 and 11. Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian
9. Anne Hathaway
8. Justin Bieber
7. Madonna
6. Matt Lauer
5. Katherine Heigl
4. John Mayer
3. Jennifer Lopez
2. Kristen Stewart
1. Gwyneth Paltrow

This is a pretty good list. I’m shocked to see that Kanye West isn’t on here. I love him but I thought he was one of the most hated people around. I’m not sure if he’s psyched or pissed not to be included. I also didn’t realize that people hated Matt Lauer this much. Damn. Too bad this poll was taken after Justin Bieber’s idiotic Anne Frank statement or I’m sure he would be higher up. Kristen Stewart now has the dubious honor of being one of the most hated and least attractive female celebrities. Hey, good for her! At least she’s good at stuff!

Who is your ultimate most hated celebrity?

John Mayer Still, Like, Totally Loves Katy Perry

katy perry john mayer douche

John Mayer is the worst ever of anything. Katy Perry deserves better. ANYONE deserves better. They broke up but apparently Mr. Mayer still loves her, or whatever.

According to E Online,

“John still very much loves her and has feelings for her,” a well-placed source exclusively tells E! News. “It was just going to be too much with what was on his plate.”

Yeah, okay, sure.

Rumor also has it that Ms. Perry would consider getting back together with him if he got his shit back together with himself.

NO. THIS NEEDS TO END. NOW. FOREVER.

If we all ignore John Mayer, maybe he’ll go away. I don’t even care about his music; I’m coming at this from a human standpoint. We don’t need John Mayer fucking with anyone anymore.

Am I totally off on this?

John Mayer Confirms What We Know But Didn’t Care About: He Broke Up With Katy Perry

katy perry john mayer

John Mayer doesn’t really know the meaning of the word “dignity”, so he had no problem navel-gazing about relationships on The Ellen DeGeneres Show this week (while simultaneously yammering on about what a private and personal thing it all is, naturally). The long and short of it is this, though: he’s no longer with Katy Perry and is continuing his “journey” to douchebagdom all by his lonesome.

“It was a very private relationship going in. It was a private relationship during, and it’s a private relationship still.”

“I can understand asking the question [about our split] based on some previous answers I have given, but I have finally learned how to put the wall between one thing and the other.

“I’ve been much happier since then. I’m on the same journey as everyone else. Coupling is a tricky thing. It’s a tricky thing. I want everyone to be happy.”

Aw, well isn’t that sweet – John just wants everyone to be happy! He should be pleased to know that Katy herself is so happy, she’s sworn off men altogether after dating him. This dude is so egotistical that he thinks people are asking him about the split because of things he himself as said, rather than, you know, because there are reports all over the media that they’ve split. Ah, the ego. It’s a wonderful thing, isn’t it?

Katy Perry’s Still Done With Men… Unless John Mayer Wants to Get Back Together, Or Whatever

john mayer katy perry

Katy Perry and John Mayer were never going to last very long, and that’s just fine – he was a nice rebound for her after splitting from Russell Brand and that dude from Florence + The Machine‘s band and she was… I’m not sure what for him. In any case, they both cut their losses earlier this month and split and Katy decided to leave relationships alone for a while, and she still will… so long as Johnny Boy doesn’t want to get back together for some raunchy make up sex or whatever the hell these two did together.

From Heat (via DigitalSpy):

“There’s no question that Katy wants to settle down, but right now, she’s not ready to fling herself into another relationship.

“If anything, she’d be open to reconciling with John if he can get his act together.”

Perry’s friends reportedly feel that Mayer “emotionally bailed” on her and that they got together too soon after she broke up with ex-husband Russell Brand.

The insider added: “Katy’s friends feel her expectations may have been too high, and are now wondering if it was all a rebound after Russell.”

No shit, Sherlocks. Is there any other reason to go out with John Mayer? She probably knew he was easy to get really wanted the D that night (and ended up getting stuck with him) or something, I don’t know. The human brain is capable of wondrous, magnificent things, but figuring out what would make any woman want to touch Mayer with a ten foot pole is beyond its capabilities.

Katy Perry and John Mayer Split, An Angel Gets Its Wings

katy perry john mayer

Katy Perry and John Mayer always seemed like a weird ass couple that couldn’t possibly last very long. Turns out, they lasted exactly seven months and now they’re dunzo – despite all those engagement rumours that popped up over that ugly ass Cracker Jack box ring.

From People:

The couple, who had been dating for the past seven months in what was their second chance at love, have again parted ways, a source confirms to PEOPLE.

The split comes less than a month after Perry, 28, was spotted wearing a ruby from Mayer, 35.

They were first linked last summer, less than a year after Perry and Russell Brand divorced. And while Mayer and Perry split briefly last August, they quickly reconciled and embarked on what seemed to be a growing love affair.

While the reasons for the split are unknown, I have a pretty good idea: John Mayer is a world class moron who also makes awful faces when he’s singing his soulful jazz music or whatever the hell he does anymore. I mean, Russell Brand was a bad pick, but at least he had a bit of finesse about it all.

I think Katy should take a break from the bros for a while and stay single… or give me a ring.