I totally called this one. Not that it was a difficult call or anything, but still. Jodie Sweetin’s relapsed, and a judge has issued a ruling that she is not allowed to be alone with her baby.
Full House alum Jodie Sweetin is not allowed to see her 8-month-old daughter without supervision, an Orange County, Calif., judge ruled during an emergency custody hearing Wednesday.
The ruling came after Sweetin’s estranged husband Cody Herpin accused her of being an unfit mother — and allegedly that she once drove intoxicated with their daughter Zoie in the car, TMZ.com reports.
A doctor who took the stand also claimed that Sweetin, 26 — a former meth addict and alcoholic who lives with her parents — had relapsed but has been in touch with her sponsor and is attending AA meetings. The doctor said she does not believe the baby is at risk at the moment.
Sweetin will now not be allowed to be with the child unless one of her parents is present, the judge said.
A judge ordered both Sweetin and Herpin to submit to drug tests before the next hearing.
So, yeah. Stop being so predictable, Hollywood.
In general, here’s a rule I’ve learned: When celebrities are all like, “Yeah, I used to have an addiction problem, but now I don’t. I can totally just have one or two drinks and be fine,” you can pretty much just start counting down the days until there’s a gigantic relapse. Tara Reid proved this nicely for us last week, and now it’s Jodie’s turn.
Personally, I’m kind of waiting anxiously for the enormous Nicole Richie relapse that I just know is on its way.
Can you even believe there is aÂ fourth update on Jodie Sweetin’s split from Cody Herpin, her husband of 16 months?Â It’s Jodie fucking Sweetin.Â Apparently she split because he, unemployed film transporting coordinator couldn’t support the childhood actress who invested her Full House residuals in pharmaceuticals.
In court papers, SweetinÂ stated, “Our house is in foreclosure, our water has been shut off twice. Currently, all of our other utilities are overdue.Â [He] kept finding one excuse after another for his failure to even attempt to find employment.”
Herpin responded to People sayingÂ Â “I was the stay-at-home dad, my job was taking care of Zoie” because Jodie had a very busy schedule.Â Busy schedule?Â I’ve never done drugs; I was always the one who believed every Afterschool Special and was afraid of my own life becoming one.Â So I ask: Just how long does it take to do meth?Â By my best, if uneducated, guess I’m thinking 25 minutes from score to high.Â Unless she’s making her own which involves cooking and shit like that…too much like being a housewife.Â Though you get to do it stoned which is nice.
Anyway, I’ve taken the liberty of writing Jodie’s vows for her next attempt:
I, Jodie, take you 3rd victim, to be my future ex, to have and to hold for this year, for better or best, for richer, to love and to leave; from this day forward until death do us part as long as one of us croaks within the next 18 months.
You’re welcome Jodes.Â
I just question a life in which Jodie Sweetin divorce updates outnumber Madonna’s.
Cody Herpin — the husband Jodie Sweetin just walked out on — sat down with Radar magazine to do a little interview, right in front of their baby’s crib! HOW SUBTLE!
Cody says Jodie took the baby, all the money and the family dog! How awful! He actually seems sane and healthy not at all psychopathic in this video, which furthers my belief that whatever’s going on is all Jodie’s fault.
In a move that absolutely no one except the entirety of the planet saw coming, Jodie Sweetin ditched her (second) hubby (and baby-daddy!) of 16 months last week, for no clear reason other than the fact that she’s probably doing drugs again.
Jodie hasn’t released a statement yet, but her agent says she is “trying to stay positive for Zoie,” their 7-month-old daughter. “Her focus is the baby,” continues the agent. “Jodie’s got a huge support system in her family and friends and she thinks this is what’s best for her.” Jodie and Zoie are apparently staying with Jodie’s parents. Translation: Zoie is staying with Jodie’s parents while Jodie scores meth.
And Cody’s still all like, “Dude, I so thought my quickie marriage to a kinda-sorta-recovering meth-head child actress was rock solid.” His actual quote is that he is “still discombobulated” over the split. “Not knowing what’s going on is hard … It’s rough,” he says. “Marriage is not taken lightly to me. It’s supposed to be forever.”
My Lord, how are these people so consistently blind to the fact that their marriages are oh-so-doomed?
In the most surprising news I’ve heard in the past 45 seconds, “recovering” addict Jodie Sweetin and her husband of 16 months, Cody Herpin, have split. The couple had a baby in April. This is Jodie’s second marriage.
“I was dumbfounded,” says Herpin, adding that Sweetin left their home and took their 7-month-old girl. “Over this past month something has been different. I’m concerned about our daughter and I just want (Zoie) home.”
Sweetin’s agent, Stella Alex, says the actress is “absolutely clean” and that the couple have “come to this path in their life and she felt like this is the way she had to go. Jodie says it’s unfortunate but it’s just what has to happen right now. No more detail, only because she says she doesn’t want to be disrespectful to him.”
The pair were rumored to be working on a reality TV show in August, at which point I announced that their marriage would end, because that’s what reality TV shows do to marriages.
I am always right.
In all seriousness, though, whatever the hell is going on with Jodie, I certainly hope the baby’s okay and is well looked-after. It’s okay to fuck up your own life, Jodes, but leave the kid out of it.
People.com was supposed to have the Brangie Baby photos at 7pm EST. By my count, that is SEVEN MINUTES AGO.
They’re releasing them later to get all the page views that come from people refreshing over and over and over again.
While we wait, here’s Jodie Sweetin, along with Jodie Sweetin’s fake breasts and Jodie Sweetin’s baby weight that she hasn’t lost yet, posing at one of the dumb little events they do leading up to the Teen Choice Awards. I’m annoyed that she’s famous for following up child stardom with a meth addiction. Since when is that original?
Yes, it’s true.
Her meth addiction destroyed her first marriage.
And her reality TV show will destroy her second.
Jodie and second husband Cody Herpin have decided to move forward on a reality TV show about their lives with their new baby girl.
â€œWeâ€™re going to start shooting in a couple months,â€ she said. â€œWe are in talks with a couple of networks right now. We have one picked out, but nothing is signed yet.â€
As to why she’s doing it?
“I think itâ€™s sort of a fun way to show the other side of celebrity and a sort of semi-normal life,” she says.
Translation: “Maybe now I can be famous for something other than my meth addiction.”
Good luck with this, Stephanie Tanner.