Britney Spears looks great in a bikini, but let’s be real, she’s not in her heyday anymore. I’m talking about the ridiculous (in a good way) figure she had in her “I’m A Slave For U” era, which was in 2001. But it’s been 12 years and 2 kids later, so considering that I think she’s doing swell and looking good (and Shape magazine agrees.)
Celebuzz asked people to vote in their “Battle of the Bikini Bodies” which is admittedly kind of a huge UGH that this is even a thing, but here are the results.
#1. Britney, with 41%.
#2. Kate Upton, 28%.
#3. Jessica Alba, 15%.
#4. Coco, 9%.
#5. Holly Madison, 5%.
I share this because I think it’s interesting that with the exception of Jessica Alba, these are women with curvier figures. I don’t mean curvy as a euphemism for fat. I mean Coco is genuinely insanely curvy.
Who would you have voted for?
July 22, 2013 at 5:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives
Anne Hathaway actually blew me away with her punk transformation for the Costume Institute Gala for the “PUNK: Chaos to Couture” exhibition at the Metropolitan Museum (or Met Gala for short). Doesn’t she look great as a blonde? Every year celebs dress to the hilt for the event for whatever the theme is. This year, it’s punk. So keep that in mind when looking at these photos — these looks are supposed to be crazy and over the top.
BEST: Anne Hathaway, January Jones, Sienna Miller
WORST: Almost everyone else, but especially Kerry Washington, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Kim Kardashian and honestly there were so many more I couldn’t even deal with.
PLEASANTLY SURPRISED BY: Miley Cyrus and Anne Hathaway
Check it out!
May 7, 2013 at 4:30 am by Catherine St. Ives
Listen, I know celebrities do crazy shit all the time, but it constantly blows my mindgrapes when they admits to it publicly like it’s totally normal. Case in point: Jessica Alba now says that she wore a corset – yes, that Victorian binding apparatus which caused both physical discomfort and physiological damage – for THREE MONTHS after giving birth in order to lose weight. Technically it was a “double girdle”, but same shit. Earth to Jessica Alba: not only is that not healthy, but it’s also not how weight loss works. Christ almighty.
It’s almost time to go, a sofa date beckoning for Alba and Warren but, before I leave, as an expectant mother I have to ask how she got her toned body back so quickly after two births. The secret, it turns out, is a girdle. Two, in fact. “It was brutal; it’s not for everyone,” she qualifies. “I wore a double corset day and night for three months. It was sweaty, but worth it.”
Uh… I’m speechless on this one. Can a corset/girdle/whatever hold you in? Hell yeah, I love my Spanx and would wear them daily if I could/wasn’t lazy. But it doesn’t make weight evaporate from your body. She’s admitted to wearing one before in order to keep the skin from sagging after giving birth, so I’m down with that, but she’s also admitted to starving herself and working out like a maniac, so let’s not go there.
You know where I will go, though? To Chipotle for lunch, because I want a burrito.
April 26, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer
If I think too hard about it, it really bugs me out how we’re all autonomous beings with hearts that work on their own and can sometimes stop working and so many things can go wrong and ahhhh! It’s crazy, this whole being alive thing. Therefore, I totally understand Jessica Alba‘s panic when she woke up last week and thought she was having a stroke.
From The Jimmy Kimmel Show (via DigitalSpy):
“Basically I thought I was having a stroke last week,” Alba recalled. “I really, really thought I was. It was 2.30 in the morning and I woke up and my hand started to go numb. The whole entire thing went numb.
“It was dead, I couldn’t move it. My whole arm went numb, I got cold sensations in the back of my neck to the front. I can’t move my face.
“I texted my paediatrician. It’s my kids’ pediatrician, but it’s the only person who will answer me at 2.30 in the morning.
“I texted him and I said, ‘I have these symptoms… it’s all going downhill!’ He was like, ‘You’re a little young for this’.”
An MRI scan later revealed that she was suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome, a common condition that can cause numbness.
Glad it was nothing serious, of course, but that story totally set off my own anxieties regarding: heart attacks, strokes, amnesia, blood clots, spontaneous combustion… I’ll stop now.
February 14, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer
Here’s a secret: she did not pop that baby out yet, so that leaves the only other alternative – she uses old photos for posterity.
The Jessica Alba-who’s-still-pregnant recently sat for an interview with Lucky magazine, and discussed everything from her body pre-pregnancy, to her body post-pregnancy, to her … uh, body. I guess you have to stick to safe topics when this is what you’re working with, huh?
Jessica on her post-pregnancy secret to looking trim:
“I wear a girdle around my tummy from the moment I give birth until it doesn’t feel loosey goosey anymore—that takes a good two to three months. It’s spandex with Velcro.”
On cutting down calories to lose weight post-baby:
“I have a hard time with portion control, so I have 1,200 calorie meals delivered. But I also work out, so basically I’m starving—it sucks. I drink a lot of water.”
On being considered a sex symbol:
“I’ve never been perceived as anything but a sex symbol, so I don’t even know what that means.”
On how she doesn’t feel the need for maternity clothes:
“I generally don’t wear many maternity clothes…but I am wearing maternity pantyhose, because I can’t fit into the other ones.”
On how much she hates working out:
“Working out everyday for even just 45 minutes is good for my mental state. But getting dressed and actually doing it is the worst. It’s hard to get motivated.”
Saying the word “boobies”:
“[A Campari calendar photoshoot] got people talking. Besides, it’s not like my boobies were out or my bum was showing.”
There’s more to the interview, but it doesn’t have anything to do with her body, just about how she hustled to get to where she is in this stage of her career, how she didn’t need a man growing up to complete her – and still doesn’t – and that she’s not going to be just a brief flash in the pan. You can check all that stuff out at the Lucky site if you’re really that into it.
August 2, 2011 at 12:30 pm by Sarah
Have you seen photos of Jess’s expanding baby bump yet? Because somehow, Jessica Alba even makes pregnancy sexy, and I’m sure there’s a couple of dudes out there who have pregnancy fetishes as it is, who are totally rubbing one out to these photos. I’d normally say ‘I can’t blame them,’ but pregnancy fetishes to me are weird, and the mere idea of an erect penis getting even remotely close to poking the top of a baby’s soft head during sex makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.