Today's Evil Beet Gossip
James Franco

James Franco at His Best: The ‘Spring Breakers’ Trailer

Is it possible that Selena Gomez is going to be an actress? I know that she’s an “actress,” but an actress? A Real Actress? I mean, if I can completely block out the Tweener thing she had/has going on, and the fact that she deflowered Justin Bieber probably, I can see it. Maybe.

As for James Franco, he sure is versatile, isn’t he? I mean, ripping Kevin Federline off so eloquently? That’s what that was supposed to be, right?

And hey. It’s coming out right around Spring Break, and that’s so appropriate.

Watch This: ‘This is the End’

OK, so I’m not going to lie: I watched at least half of this trailer trying to decide whether or not I this movie was complete and utter bullshit, or if this movie actually had some hidden genius somewhere. Want to know how it all ends? I’ll give you a hint: it’s the first thing. The “complete and utter bullshit” option, and while it’s chock-full of big name celebrities like Jonah Hill, Emma Watson, James Franco, and Seth Rogen, among others, it’s *also* an self-indulgent piece of dreck that isn’t worth the three minutes and eleven seconds of its red band trailer. Also in the film is Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Michael Cera, Mindy Kaling, and Rihanna.

Hey, also, is Jay Baruchel the worst actor that ever lived or what? For real—I’m pretty sure his best work happened in ‘Are You Afraid of the Dark’.

Thoughts on ‘This is the End’? Am I being too hard on this wee wittow movie?

On another note, something that’s not at all dumb—well, OK, sort of dumb, but not dumb in the way that ‘This is the End’ is dumb—’Warm Bodies’. Hear of it? Here’s the trailer:

And here’s the first four minutes if you’re still interested:

Quotables: James Franco Says Lindsay Lohan is a Failure

photo of lindsay lohan pictures

I haven’t talked to her in a long time because it seemed like she was getting into some more trouble. I’ve tried to help her. I think one of the reasons it’s so hard is when she gets in trouble, she gets all this attention and I’m sure she gets book offers. Like she goes to jail, and instead of feeling like I really hit a low place, she’ll get a crazy offer for her jail memoir.

James Franco on working with Lindsay Lohan that one time in conjunction with Terry Richardson, and I don’t know whether he’s praising her antics or condemning them. It’s always really, really hard to tell when it comes to James Franco, because he’s so smart and he speaks in eloquent hyperbole all of the time, so you never do know, do you?

No, I Don’t Know Why R.E.M. Thinks Lindsay Lohan’s Cool, Either

The only thing that might make this video worse, however, is the fact that James Franco is the one who directed the damn thing. What, you guys don’t remember hearing a few months back that James Franco and Lindsay Lohan were collaborating on a thing? Because apparently, it was true, and this is the thing.

I just need to know why James (ugh) and Lindsay (ick) had to go and drag R.E.M. into it. I really, really liked R.E.M. a whole lot until this thing, and now I’m not even sure if there isn’t such a thing as being a complete and total sell-out, and who, if anyone, is above it.

I guess the only thing that makes sense about this whole thing is that there’s a verse in the song that talks about copious amounts of drinking. Lindsay would know all about that, so that fits. It’s forgivable. Oh. And Patti Smith sings on the track, too. That might redeem a little bit of errant f-ckery somewhere, maybe.

As you guys may or may not know, this is probably the last video you’ll ever see from R.E.M. Their final album, ‘Collapse Into Now’, was released earlier in the year. The band broke up last September after making music together for nearly thirty years. Oh my God I feel old. And like many other things, R.E.M. goes out with a Lindsay Lohan-like bang.

Poof. Boom.

James Franco Needs to Shut His Stupid Mouth

A photo of James Franco

Sorry, that headline was inappropriate. It should have read “James Franco Needs to Shut His Very Educated, Very Smart and Impressive Mouth.” Because, as we all know, James Franco is nothing if not way brainy.

Anyway, he needs to shut his mouth because he keeps running it over at Huffington Post. He writes a blog for the site – remember that time that he wrote that thing about how great Kristen Stewart is? So embarrassing, right? Yeah, I don’t know why I don’t read his blog more regularly (probably it’s because my brain would explode), but I wanted to share a few excerpts from his latest entry.

Here’s this big long paragraph where he talks about how he’s really good at teaching because he doesn’t make his students study all the boring stupid stuff that his teachers taught him:

Anyway, I am teaching six classes in all different kinds of disciplines, on both coasts. And I have turned all of the classes — whether they are performance classes, directing classes, art classes, or writing classes — into production-oriented, class-wide collaborations. I love when they make stuff because I can frame each class in such a way that the work can go out into the world. The level of work doesn’t matter because it is an honest portrait of the students. The honesty is primary; the portrait quality of the work makes it feel like a kid’s drawing framed by an adult’s concept. It’s also nice to be able to control the material studied and how it’s talked about. I had so many classes, especially creative ones, where I hated what we were doing or the kinds of material my peers were interested in. In my current position I can guide the subject matter, especially in the classes where I bring in the source material to be adapted.

And here’s a big long paragraph where he criticizes Denzel Washington’s acting, except not really, ha ha:

Turns out that Flight is an addiction film. I had no idea. The editing of the first half is thrilling. Most of the film is spent watching an alcoholic hit bottom. Denzel plays an emotionally destitute man to the hilt, a pilot who drinks and does coke before flying: a pretty risky role to play, putting his stardom on the line. He even shows himself out of shape with his shirt off. It’s pretty cool, realistic; I like it. But he also gets to have two affairs with the most beautiful women possible: a sexy exotic stewardess and a recovering junkie who looks like she was shooting up whole milk instead of heroin, a redheaded girl-next-door type. Denzel’s crumbling drinker also conveniently has an old farmhouse straight out of House and Garden that he can escape to. Oh yeah, and his alcoholism didn’t lead to any problems on the plane; his drinking was incidental to any of the deaths — you see, he is the greatest pilot who ever lived. That’s all to say Denzel plays an alcoholic very well and gives a very vulnerable performance, but he still gets to be the coolest alcoholic hitting bottom who has ever been portrayed.

And here’s a shorter paragraph that’s just him bragging on himself hard.  It’s my favorite:

Hmmmm, what else? My first chapbook came out, Strongest of the Litter, but people seem to be more interested in who I’m dating than poetry. Oh yeah, I got nominated for a National Entertainment Journalism award for these HuffPost blogs, but no other outlet is going to run that story, right? Hahaha — why would Gawker or the New York Post want to publicize that an actor/Yale doctoral candidate is nominated for an award for something that they are doing themselves? I’m pretty proud of it, but I can see why they must hate me.

Honestly, that last little paragraph was the one that got me. “I can see why they must hate me,” that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Yeah, everybody hates you because you’re just so wonderful, James Franco. When everyone rolls their eyes at you, it’s because they’re just jealous. For sure.

Is Kristen Stewart Moving On With James Franco?

photo of james franco and kristen stewart pictures
From Radar Online:

The Hollywood A-list pair enjoyed a tete a tete after a chance meeting at the Toronto Film Festival last week, and to say the actor was enamored with Robert Pattinson’s ex would be an understatement, is exclusively reporting.

In fact, the hunky 127 Hours star was “smitten” with the Twilight star and tried to set up a dinner date. He was shot down, a source tells Radar, but not undeterred, spurred on to try and arrange a romantic rendezvous when back on home ground.

“Kristen and James bumped into each other at the Intercontinental Hotel in Toronto during the film festival and were engaged in conversation for 20 minutes,” a source revealed.

“There was a lot of flirting and Kristen was overjoyed by the attention she was getting from James, who was gushing over her, saying what a great actress he thinks she is and was full of praise for her latest movie, On the Road.

“She seemed at ease in his company, and he was certainly making her laugh. She was wearing a huge grin on her face.

“At the end of their chance meeting, James took Kristen’s number and asked her out for dinner.

“Kristen initially said no, but is mulling over the idea. She knows she has to move on now following her break up with Rob.

“James definitely wants to see Kristen again, and there’s nothing better for a heartbroken girl than to be admired by a handsome man,” the source said.

I don’t know why I actually maybe kind of love this, but it probably has something to do with the character that James played in the film adaption of Eat, Pray, Love, not to mention the fact that Kristen’s just wild about Eat, Pray, Love. Oh! AND James has voiced his admiration of Kristen Stewart in the past. Lock, stock, and barrel. If Kristen doesn’t get back together with Rob (which I so, so hope happens), then I’m voting for James Franco, even if he is a pretentious little twat with a flaccid penis-colored lemon for a face.