Today's Evil Beet Gossip
James Franco

James Franco Needs to Shut His Stupid Mouth

A photo of James Franco

Sorry, that headline was inappropriate. It should have read “James Franco Needs to Shut His Very Educated, Very Smart and Impressive Mouth.” Because, as we all know, James Franco is nothing if not way brainy.

Anyway, he needs to shut his mouth because he keeps running it over at Huffington Post. He writes a blog for the site – remember that time that he wrote that thing about how great Kristen Stewart is? So embarrassing, right? Yeah, I don’t know why I don’t read his blog more regularly (probably it’s because my brain would explode), but I wanted to share a few excerpts from his latest entry.

Here’s this big long paragraph where he talks about how he’s really good at teaching because he doesn’t make his students study all the boring stupid stuff that his teachers taught him:

Anyway, I am teaching six classes in all different kinds of disciplines, on both coasts. And I have turned all of the classes — whether they are performance classes, directing classes, art classes, or writing classes — into production-oriented, class-wide collaborations. I love when they make stuff because I can frame each class in such a way that the work can go out into the world. The level of work doesn’t matter because it is an honest portrait of the students. The honesty is primary; the portrait quality of the work makes it feel like a kid’s drawing framed by an adult’s concept. It’s also nice to be able to control the material studied and how it’s talked about. I had so many classes, especially creative ones, where I hated what we were doing or the kinds of material my peers were interested in. In my current position I can guide the subject matter, especially in the classes where I bring in the source material to be adapted.

And here’s a big long paragraph where he criticizes Denzel Washington’s acting, except not really, ha ha:

Turns out that Flight is an addiction film. I had no idea. The editing of the first half is thrilling. Most of the film is spent watching an alcoholic hit bottom. Denzel plays an emotionally destitute man to the hilt, a pilot who drinks and does coke before flying: a pretty risky role to play, putting his stardom on the line. He even shows himself out of shape with his shirt off. It’s pretty cool, realistic; I like it. But he also gets to have two affairs with the most beautiful women possible: a sexy exotic stewardess and a recovering junkie who looks like she was shooting up whole milk instead of heroin, a redheaded girl-next-door type. Denzel’s crumbling drinker also conveniently has an old farmhouse straight out of House and Garden that he can escape to. Oh yeah, and his alcoholism didn’t lead to any problems on the plane; his drinking was incidental to any of the deaths — you see, he is the greatest pilot who ever lived. That’s all to say Denzel plays an alcoholic very well and gives a very vulnerable performance, but he still gets to be the coolest alcoholic hitting bottom who has ever been portrayed.

And here’s a shorter paragraph that’s just him bragging on himself hard.  It’s my favorite:

Hmmmm, what else? My first chapbook came out, Strongest of the Litter, but people seem to be more interested in who I’m dating than poetry. Oh yeah, I got nominated for a National Entertainment Journalism award for these HuffPost blogs, but no other outlet is going to run that story, right? Hahaha — why would Gawker or the New York Post want to publicize that an actor/Yale doctoral candidate is nominated for an award for something that they are doing themselves? I’m pretty proud of it, but I can see why they must hate me.

Honestly, that last little paragraph was the one that got me. “I can see why they must hate me,” that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Yeah, everybody hates you because you’re just so wonderful, James Franco. When everyone rolls their eyes at you, it’s because they’re just jealous. For sure.

Is Kristen Stewart Moving On With James Franco?

photo of james franco and kristen stewart pictures
From Radar Online:

The Hollywood A-list pair enjoyed a tete a tete after a chance meeting at the Toronto Film Festival last week, and to say the actor was enamored with Robert Pattinson’s ex would be an understatement, is exclusively reporting.

In fact, the hunky 127 Hours star was “smitten” with the Twilight star and tried to set up a dinner date. He was shot down, a source tells Radar, but not undeterred, spurred on to try and arrange a romantic rendezvous when back on home ground.

“Kristen and James bumped into each other at the Intercontinental Hotel in Toronto during the film festival and were engaged in conversation for 20 minutes,” a source revealed.

“There was a lot of flirting and Kristen was overjoyed by the attention she was getting from James, who was gushing over her, saying what a great actress he thinks she is and was full of praise for her latest movie, On the Road.

“She seemed at ease in his company, and he was certainly making her laugh. She was wearing a huge grin on her face.

“At the end of their chance meeting, James took Kristen’s number and asked her out for dinner.

“Kristen initially said no, but is mulling over the idea. She knows she has to move on now following her break up with Rob.

“James definitely wants to see Kristen again, and there’s nothing better for a heartbroken girl than to be admired by a handsome man,” the source said.

I don’t know why I actually maybe kind of love this, but it probably has something to do with the character that James played in the film adaption of Eat, Pray, Love, not to mention the fact that Kristen’s just wild about Eat, Pray, Love. Oh! AND James has voiced his admiration of Kristen Stewart in the past. Lock, stock, and barrel. If Kristen doesn’t get back together with Rob (which I so, so hope happens), then I’m voting for James Franco, even if he is a pretentious little twat with a flaccid penis-colored lemon for a face.

No, I Don’t Know Why James Franco is Making a Movie About Lindsay Lohan, Either

photo of lindsay lohan and james franco pictures
From E! Online:

Tinseltown’s favorite Renaissance Man has put out a casting notice on Actors Access, an online casting guide, for a feature film he’s looking to direct about “two Hollywood celebrities.” And wouldn’t you know, he’s searching for two actors who can pass for Lindsay Lohan and himself.

According to the casting breakdown, Franco is looking for a male to fill “James Franco Types ages 13, 21, 30, 45, and 60.”

Regarding his LiLo lookalike, the thesp is seeking a female to play a “Lindsay Lohan type ages 13, 21, 30, 45 and 60.”

Precious little other information about the flick was disclosed, including whether Franco or Lohan—who are said to be close pals—will be making an appearance.

But the producers listed are Miles Levy and Vince Jolivette, who are partners with Franco in Rabbit Bandini Productions, which produced his 2010 biopic Howl and are behind Lovelace, the upcoming film about porn star Linda Lovelace.

Here’s the tie, though—the real, real reason behind all of this completely bizarre f-ckery: James Franco heard about Lindsay allegedly partying with Kristen, and now that Kristen’s technically back on the market, James is making his long-suffering romantic play for Kristen, no matter what he has to do in the process. And if that means including Lindsay in some A/B-list stuff and potentially harming his reputation of being taken seriously, then so be it.

What some people will do to get a piece of Kristen Stewart, I swear.

WATCH THIS: The ‘Oz the Great and Powerful’ Trailer is Here and James Franco’s Head Did Not Dominate, Thankfully

Alright, so, all James Franco aside, this movie looks like it’s going to be phenomenal.

But don’t take it from me—take it from Sam Raimi, who’s (Sam Raimi is a demigod in some circles, being that he was the mastermind behind ‘Evil Dead’, which, if you haven’t seen it, GO NOW) directing the flick. From the movie’s Comic Con panel:

Sam Raimi on ‘Oz’: “This is a very straightforward family picture. I would say it’s a very classically Disney type of movie. It’s all about these characters and their interactions with each other, the friendships they make. How some characters are sinners, how they hurt others, how those sins can grow. It’s about finally recognizing the things you do in this world have consequences, and how to be the best person you can be is really the story of this film. That’s the most exciting kind of story for me, the ones that have character growth, and I think James Franco’s character has a little bit of character growth in this film.”

Mila Kunis on working with Sam Raimi: “Listen, Sam is fantastic. I don’t know where to begin. I would do craft service for Sam if he asked me to.”

Michelle Williams on Sam Raimi, also: “I had never made a movie like this before. I’ve never made such a big movie before. I didn’t know what it was going to be like. I didn’t know if the things that concern me, Sam would have time for, or patience for. Not only did he have time and patience in the beginning when we were rehearsing, he had patience for them on the 17th hour of the sixth day. For me it was a very holistic experience; it was a real melding of my work life and my personal life. My film family and my real family.”

Raimi, on James Franco: “He’s a great collaborator. James was much less collaborative when I first worked with him. He was a real serious actor, I think he still had his James Dean hat on; he was doing it his way. I worked with him with certain limitations. We couldn’t communicate about everything as deeply as we did on this picture. [In this movie] there was a great sense of openness, collaboration, and patience. Now that James is a filmmaker, he understands all the things that go into a shot. He’s developed that patience.”

On the flying monkeys in ‘The Wizard of Oz’, and whether they will have a part in ‘Oz’: “The teaser they showed today, the Wicked Witch has an army of flying baboons. We’re actually still developing them, but the teaser demanded that they come out right now. There is also a flying monkey in the story, different than the baboons, a nice flying monkey, so don’t worry.”

On whether the book Wicked was thrown around in the idea of developing this movie: “No. We were just using Baum’s books as a road map. We stayed with the thesis: who is that guy behind the curtain?”

So. Are we all in agreement that this movie’s going to be pretty darn fabulous? Because duh, it is.

Oz the Great and Powerful: A Sneak Peek

Just a few things I want to say about this sneak peek about James Franco—

—There’s such a large part of me that wants to punch James Franco right in the face. I know he’s harmless enough (at least in this video), but still. The fact remains.
—”I’m an English student now.” Yeah, well, too f-cking bad you can’t speed your speaking pace up a bit and quit savoring the sound of every single word coming out of your damn mouth.

With regard to the film itself, as per the synopsis:

When Oscar Diggs, a small-time circus magician with dubious ethics, is hurled away from dusty Kansas to the vibrant Land of Oz, he thinks he’s hit the jackpot–fame and fortune are his for the taking–that is until he meets three witches, Theodora, Evanora and Glinda, who are not convinced he is the great wizard everyone’s been expecting. Reluctantly drawn into the epic problems facing the Land of Oz and its inhabitants, Oscar must find out who is good and who is evil before it is too late. Putting his magical arts to use through illusion, ingenuity–and even a bit of wizardry–Oscar transforms himself not only into the great and powerful Wizard of Oz but into a better man as well.

I’m not going to lie—it sounds pretty good. I’m a huge, huge, huge fan of the original Wizard of Oz movie (and books, of course), and I think this could be pretty decent, if done properly. Let’s just hope James Franco and his Big Giant Head doesn’t ruin it for everyone involved, you know?

James Franco Has A Big Ol’ Crush on Kristen Stewart

A photo of James Franco

We haven’t talked about James Franco since last year, can you believe it? When we last heard of him, he’d gotten a professor fired for giving him a bad grade, but what is he up to these days? He’s probably smoking weed, and he’s definitely starting to look like the creepy guy who hit on me in the cat section of the bookstore last week. But most importantly, he’s crushing on Kristen Stewart.

See, James went to see Snow White and the Huntsman with his makeup artist, Nana, and Iris, his “Mexican producing associate.” The movie made him feel a lot of feelings, so he wrote a blog about them for the Huffington Post. If you want to read the whole thing, here’s the link, but I’m just going to show you the parts where he’s popping an intellectual boner for Kristen, all right?

Here’s the first one:

Some critics might go after the actors for being flat — Nana said it seemed like Hemsworth was playing Thor in different clothes, and Iris, who worked on the first two Twilight films, praised Stewart but was still reminded of Bella Swan. We discussed, and Iris and Nana came around. They blamed the actors less — I mean, the actors are going to look like themselves from movie to movie; it’s not like they’re character actors — and started to look at the material they’d been given to work with. If Stewart and Hemsworth don’t entirely pull off the romance of the year, it’s the fault not of their acting as much as the script’s structure. And if their previous incarnations are trailing them, that has less to do with their performances than with the overwhelmingly large place their previous roles occupy in our present culture. Whether they heed it or not, those two are under a ton of pressure: Is Chris just an unusually rugged man with a deep voice, or can he play anything other than a Norse god? Is Kristen just a pouty Vampire lover riding a temporary wave of pop culture madness, or is she the real deal? I believe that they are both talented and special performers who make the most of their material in this film.

He actually called Kristen Stewart a “talented and special performer.”  I’m sorry, but no.

So, the conflict is ultimately between two females who represent innocent youth (Stewart) and aging beauty (Theron), each of whom is fighting to control the throne. Sadly, this can be seen as an analog to the dynamics faced by actresses (and, to an extent, actors) today. The old guard will always be wary of the new guard, but the fact is that women in entertainment still depend on their looks more than men do. Even two powerhouses like Theron and Stewart are beholden to the dictates of a man’s world.

I see what James is saying here, and I agree with it, but “two powerhouses like Theron and Stewart,” really?  Even if you believe Kristen Stewart is a good actress, I can’t believe that anyone would consider her a powerhouse, much less a powerhouse on the same level as Charlize Theron.

Some could say she had a lucky break when she was cast in Twilight and then rose to international stardom based less on her own skills than on the success of the project. But, whereas Snow White would more than likely be inarticulate, diseased and frail after being confined in a tower for 10 years, Kristen Stewart landed Twilight after years of working with some of the best directors in the business (David Fincher, Sean Penn). She actually does deserve the crown.

I know that Kristen Stewart did a lot of work before Twilight, but James is actually claiming that she’s such a huge star now because of her acting and not because of the movie she acted in.  There is no way that he actually believes that.

Stewart has braved more scrutiny of her private life than most presidents. She has taken big career risks by doing films like Welcome to the RileysThe Runaways and On the Road (nudity, I hear). She has worked her ass off. Whatever Snow White may be, Kristen is a warrior queen. Give her the crown.

Can we please see James Franco and Robert Pattinson get into a brawl over Kristen Stewart now?

Academia Is Flying to James Franco’s Defense

photo of james franco likes cats pics

Word on the street is, James Franco missed a ton of classes, received a low grade, then contributed to the untimely firing of an NYU professor.

But Professor R. John Williams, Franco’s adviser at Yale, recalls a different student. In Williams’ obsequious Slate column, he describes James Franco as a model student with, uh, plenty of time on his hands:

So what is James like as a reader of scholarly work? I’ve often heard it expressed that he must be a mountebank, since no single person could be doing as many things as he does. How could he possibly be simultaneously reading for a Yale Ph.D and filming a multimillion-dollar motion picture? How could he possibly have time to write anything when he’s also teaching a class at NYU and starring so many films? I’ve wondered the same thing myself. But on that trip to Detroit, I learned a secret. People think that when you’re the star of a film, your time must be chock-full with endless minutia—appearances, conversations, getting “into character,” and so on. But when you’re the star, you end up just sitting around a lot.


So when you see James’s character with his arm trapped under a rock in 127 Hours, what you don’t see is that there was an assigned reading under the rock with it. When he’s playfully wrestling with a genetically-enhanced chimpanzee in Rise of the Planet of the Apes, just off to the right of the shot was a stack of books.


The truth is, if you’re an A-list Hollywood star like James Franco, and are willing to put the time into earning a Ph.D, you may actually have more time to read than many of your colleagues. Heck, you don’t even have to worry about the grocery shopping, laundry, and other sundry tasks that every other poor graduate student in the country has to worry about. After visiting Detroit, the thing I found myself wondering was not “How does James do it?” but rather “Why aren’t more Hollywood actors earning Ph.Ds?”

So there you have it: it’s always gratifying to teach an earnest student, but teaching James Franco is the most gratifying of all.

In the meantime, John Tintori—he’s the film chair at Tisch School of the Arts—stresses that Professor José Angel Santana’s contract simply expired. No more, no less.

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