… And interestingly enough, she’s the only woman in the Top 10. Others on the list are as follows:
#10 – Simon Cowell, $90 million
#9 – George Lucas, $90 million
#8 – James Patterson, $94 million
#7 – Howard Stern, $95 million
#6 – Tyler Perry, $105 million
#5 – Dr. Dre, $110 million
#4 – Jerry Bruckheimer, $115 million
#3 – Steven Spielberg, $130 million
#2 – Michael Bay, $160 million
#1 – Oprah Winfrey, $165 million
The monetary amounts are calculated by endorsements, profits, upfront pay and advertising work, and doesn’t even factor in whatever these people might be making off the books for … well, for whatever, really. When you’re making that kind of money, there’s lots of ways to fudge the numbers, I suppose.
“Well, I think it’s a wonderful decision. Britney still thinks the earth is flat. I don’t anticipate great opinions from her. I think she’s gonna sit there like J.Lo, ‘Oh, you’re wonderful, you’re terrific. You think I can get a perfume endorsement out of this?’ As far as any real criticism, I think Simon Cowell and L.A. Reid will do that … I think Britney will sit there and eat a lollipop and wear a sexy outfit. … I’ll tune in to see what kind of train wreck she is, absolutely.”
Well isn’t that just darling. Don’t you love it when the blind criticize the blind for … well, being blind? Yeah, I know—we do our share of Britney-mockery ourselves on the site here, but no one actually takes what we say seriously. And there are a whole hell of a lot of people who, for whatever reason, take Howard Stern seriously. He wouldn’t have been on the air as long as he has if that weren’t the case. My thoughts? I think boyfriend here is still just a little bitter because he was passed over for American Idol and he’s got a stick up his ass for Simon.
Naturally, Howard’s talking about the latest confirmation that Britney is, in fact, joining the cast of the X-Factor, and while some may use it as cause to celebrate (you know, probably like … Britney?), some are using it to say that the show’s going to be a total crapshoot because of it, but I don’t think so. I think Britney’s going to add life and a dull sort of spark to the show, and even though I sometimes point and laugh at times, too, it doesn’t mean I love that woman any less. She’s going to do a great job, and I’m excited to see what the new season brings.
Not that Howard Stern remotely believes in what he’s saying, because I don’t think he does. He’s just doing what they pay him to do, which is be contrarian and kind of funny and misogynist or whatever. But he’s also transparently trying to get Adam Levine in trouble.
“This is a sensitive subject with women,” he says to Adam. “Why do you think she got so heavy? Is she upset? She used to be so f—kin’ hot. What is that? And her clothes are too tight, right?”
Let me step in here right quick and answer Howard Stern: yeah, she used to be so f—kin’ hot. She was also, like, 17 back then. No wonder women are so terrified of turning 30, dudebros.
Visibly thrown by the line of questioning, Adam says, “She likes to wear tight clothes. She clearly likes to talk about being comfortable with being a woman, snapping her fingers and doing the whole thing.”
But, Howard didn’t stop there. He then replies, “When you’re a plus-sized woman, you can’t wear tight clothes anymore.”
While Adam nervously giggles, co-host Robin Quivers jumps in and says that Christina isn’t plus size. And then Adam finally says, “I wouldn’t go that far actually.” Um, nice save?
Like, when Stern starts in with the bullying—and he’s bullying Levine, not Aguilera, in a weird sense—Levine looks a little like he just wants to be shot and killed on the spot.
Honestly, I thought Levine’s performance here was fine. He doesn’t 100% have his collaborator’s back, no, but he also doesn’t play ball. I also think Levine’s throwing Howard a bone when he concludes by saying “I’m keeping my f—king mouth shut.”
Levine’s stick-thin supermodel girlfriend Anne Vyalitsyna joins him in the second half. Stern tries to get her to cop to some fear of getting old and, eventually, dumped—see a trend here?—but Vyalitsyna smiles it off.
“No, I’m really excited to see how much you can push us,” she tells Stern, not entirely ironically. “That’s really cool.”