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Howard Stern

Howard Stern opens up about delivering Joan Rivers’ eulogy

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Howard Stern was invited to delivery the eulogy at Joan Rivers‘ funeral, and he couldn’t have been a more perfect fit. The pair had been friends for years, and Stern was able to bring levity to a very sad situation. He later talked about the experience on his Sirius XM radio show (via US Weekly).

“You know, to be at her funeral yesterday was really probably the most remarkable service I have ever witnessed,” Stern, 60, told listeners. “Beautiful temple. I have never been there before [and] it was magnificent. I’ve never seen anything like it. Just sitting in there made you reflective. And so, I got there early because I had gotten a call from [Joan's daughter] Melissa like a day and a half before the service, asking me if I would speak. I said to her, ‘Melissa you’re asking the wrong guy.’

Still, he agreed to speak before Rivers’ friends and family. “I said, ‘I’ll do it. I will do anything for Joan. I’ll do anything for you.’”

To prepare for the moment, Stern immediately sought advice from another fellow comic. “I was in touch with Louie C.K. and he’d written me and he said, ‘You know, Joan really deserves a great sendoff because of her impact.’ He said something very profound: ‘Joan was like an aunt or a best friend who could make everything better. And even in times… after lets just say 9/11 or the country just seems to be going downhill or things just seem to be bad… she would crack a joke, and you know this is true, when she would crack a joke, you didn’t feel so alone. You felt like we were all together and you felt like oh maybe things aren’t so bad.’”

“Louie said probably the loneliness and the unhappiness of life — what else could ease that despair than a great comedian? That’s what great comedians do. Great comedians have the ability to snap you out of this sadness, this loneliness…to set it all right again and she was really really a top pro.”

Stern also revealed that he was particularly moved by a performance given at the service by none other than Hugh Jackman, which… okay! (I had NO idea they were friends at all.)

“It was one of Joan’s favorites,” Stern said. “He starts singing it quietly and part of the song is clap your hands together. He made everyone get up and start clapping their hands to the song. I was so f—ing moved by this guys performance. I had tears. Now, you know me. I’m a big scumbag. I don’t get moved. I appreciated this guy so much. Hugh Jackman. You know f—ing Wolverine.”

Sounds like it was a fantastic celebration of Rivers’ life for those who knew and loved her.

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Adam Levine denies having “sexual intercourse” with Lindsay Lohan

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Aw, bless. We all remember Lindsay Lohan‘s infamous “sex list”, which was apparently “leaked” by a “friend” and was only made as part of Lindsay’s “recovery” the last time she was in rehab. Well, plenty of the men on that list aren’t too pleased to be there and are speaking out to insist that they never slept with her. James Franco already denied that shit (and then wrote a “fictional” short story about it), and Adam Levine is the latest to set the record straight during an interview with Howard Stern.

Here’s the scoop (via Radar Online):

The Private Parts star asked the Maroon 5 frontman, “By the way, you were listed on Lindsay Lohan’s sex list, that you had sex with her, I didn’t know this …

“That’s not true,” he said. “I did not have sexual intercourse with Lindsay Lohan …”

When Stern pressed him, noting Franco’s denial, the radio host pointed out that no one on the list has confessed to actually belonging on it.

“That’s because I think we’re being truthful about that very specific thing,” Levine said. “I can f*cking see it on the paper, I’m getting much better at this!”

Stern asked, “Did anybody have sex with Lindsay Lohan?” to which Levine replied, “A lot of people probably did, I don’t know.”

To be honest, I’m not sure who I believe here. The one time I met Adam Levine (we’re going about, oh… 6-7 years back now), he was a complete douchebag who was arrogant, pretentious and completely up himself. He loved to brag about everything he was doing and how great he was – so why wouldn’t Lindsay be a great conquest in her prime? I don’t know why, but I kinda think she was telling the truth on this one…

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Russell Brand Uses Condoms And Will Probably Bang Demi Moore

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The look of terror: Stern asks Brand if he's made love to Demi Moore.

How do we all feel about Russell Brand? I’ve never been able to come to terms with my own feelings for the man. He seems awful and gross and yet he wrote something quite moving and wonderful about Amy Winehouse after her death. I don’t find him funny but I don’t find him unfunny, either. But if Katy deemed him a worthy chap, then perhaps he is. Although they did wind up divorced. He came to her honor though, refusing to speak ill of her while being interviewed on The Howard Stern Show (Is that STILL a thing?), though Mr. Stern did his damnedest. He “went there” when he asked this:

What do you make of you ex-wife dating John Mayer? It’s like doesn’t she know he’s a worse womanizer than you?

The charming Mr. Stern also added,

No, but seriously, you know I knew from the beginning you’d never stay married.

Wow! Stern and Brand (that sounds like a law firm) went on to discuss Mr. Brand’s love of yoga, which lead him to meeting his friend Demi Moore. Brand insists that they’re not anything more than friends, saying,

I really like her. She’s a beautiful person.

Not quite enough for dear Howard, who persisted,

But you’ve not made love to her yet.

“Made love”? Good heavens, Mr. Stern is quite the proper 1800s gent, isn’t he? To which Russell shouted, “I’VE NOT MADE LOVE TO HER YET.” Good on you, old boy. Stern also accused Brand of not having safe sex, based on how he looks. I can’t really blame Stern there. And Brand, with as good an attitude as ever,

I do use one every time I have carnal relations. You can’t have germs flying about everywhere.

In conclusion, Demi Moore and Russell Brand are absolutely going to contain their germs together.