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Howard Stern

13Russell Brand Uses Condoms And Will Probably Bang Demi Moore

russell brand demi moore sex

The look of terror: Stern asks Brand if he's made love to Demi Moore.

How do we all feel about Russell Brand? I’ve never been able to come to terms with my own feelings for the man. He seems awful and gross and yet he wrote something quite moving and wonderful about Amy Winehouse after her death. I don’t find him funny but I don’t find him unfunny, either. But if Katy deemed him a worthy chap, then perhaps he is. Although they did wind up divorced. He came to her honor though, refusing to speak ill of her while being interviewed on The Howard Stern Show (Is that STILL a thing?), though Mr. Stern did his damnedest. He “went there” when he asked this:

What do you make of you ex-wife dating John Mayer? It’s like doesn’t she know he’s a worse womanizer than you?

The charming Mr. Stern also added,

No, but seriously, you know I knew from the beginning you’d never stay married.

Wow! Stern and Brand (that sounds like a law firm) went on to discuss Mr. Brand’s love of yoga, which lead him to meeting his friend Demi Moore. Brand insists that they’re not anything more than friends, saying,

I really like her. She’s a beautiful person.

Not quite enough for dear Howard, who persisted,

But you’ve not made love to her yet.

“Made love”? Good heavens, Mr. Stern is quite the proper 1800s gent, isn’t he? To which Russell shouted, “I’VE NOT MADE LOVE TO HER YET.” Good on you, old boy. Stern also accused Brand of not having safe sex, based on how he looks. I can’t really blame Stern there. And Brand, with as good an attitude as ever,

I do use one every time I have carnal relations. You can’t have germs flying about everywhere.

In conclusion, Demi Moore and Russell Brand are absolutely going to contain their germs together.

February 12, 2013 at 4:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

0Oprah Tops Forbes‘ Highest-Paid Celebrities List

photo of oprah winfrey forbes highest paid list pictures
… And interestingly enough, she’s the only woman in the Top 10. Others on the list are as follows:

#10 – Simon Cowell, $90 million
#9 – George Lucas, $90 million
#8 – James Patterson, $94 million
#7 – Howard Stern, $95 million
#6 – Tyler Perry, $105 million
#5 – Dr. Dre, $110 million
#4 – Jerry Bruckheimer, $115 million
#3 – Steven Spielberg, $130 million
#2 – Michael Bay, $160 million
#1 – Oprah Winfrey, $165 million

The monetary amounts are calculated by endorsements, profits, upfront pay and advertising work, and doesn’t even factor in whatever these people might be making off the books for … well, for whatever, really. When you’re making that kind of money, there’s lots of ways to fudge the numbers, I suppose.

When you’ve got it, you’ve got it, right? Damn.

August 28, 2012 at 11:30 am by Sarah

9Quotables: Howard Stern Says Britney’s a Trainwreck

photo of howard stern pictures radio photos

“Well, I think it’s a wonderful decision. Britney still thinks the earth is flat. I don’t anticipate great opinions from her. I think she’s gonna sit there like J.Lo, ‘Oh, you’re wonderful, you’re terrific. You think I can get a perfume endorsement out of this?’ As far as any real criticism, I think Simon Cowell and L.A. Reid will do that … I think Britney will sit there and eat a lollipop and wear a sexy outfit. … I’ll tune in to see what kind of train wreck she is, absolutely.”

Well isn’t that just darling. Don’t you love it when the blind criticize the blind for … well, being blind? Yeah, I know—we do our share of Britney-mockery ourselves on the site here, but no one actually takes what we say seriously. And there are a whole hell of a lot of people who, for whatever reason, take Howard Stern seriously. He wouldn’t have been on the air as long as he has if that weren’t the case. My thoughts? I think boyfriend here is still just a little bitter because he was passed over for American Idol and he’s got a stick up his ass for Simon.

Naturally, Howard’s talking about the latest confirmation that Britney is, in fact, joining the cast of the X-Factor, and while some may use it as cause to celebrate (you know, probably like … Britney?), some are using it to say that the show’s going to be a total crapshoot because of it, but I don’t think so. I think Britney’s going to add life and a dull sort of spark to the show, and even though I sometimes point and laugh at times, too, it doesn’t mean I love that woman any less. She’s going to do a great job, and I’m excited to see what the new season brings.

May 11, 2012 at 7:30 am by Sarah

2Howard Stern Refers to Christina Aguilera as “Plus-Size”

Not that Howard Stern remotely believes in what he’s saying, because I don’t think he does. He’s just doing what they pay him to do, which is be contrarian and kind of funny and misogynist or whatever. But he’s also transparently trying to get Adam Levine in trouble.

I think I mentioned that I’ve been watching Levine on The Voice, and I’ve decided he’s a great judge even though he’s kind of a turd. Like, I totally root for him, but I also watch the show trying to assess exactly what kind of turd he is.

Still. When Stern tries to get Levine to say one mean thing about Christina Aguilera, Levine won’t budge:

“This is a sensitive subject with women,” he says to Adam. “Why do you think she got so heavy? Is she upset? She used to be so f—kin’ hot. What is that? And her clothes are too tight, right?”

Let me step in here right quick and answer Howard Stern: yeah, she used to be so f—kin’ hot. She was also, like, 17 back then. No wonder women are so terrified of turning 30, dudebros.

Visibly thrown by the line of questioning, Adam says, “She likes to wear tight clothes. She clearly likes to talk about being comfortable with being a woman, snapping her fingers and doing the whole thing.”

But, Howard didn’t stop there. He then replies, “When you’re a plus-sized woman, you can’t wear tight clothes anymore.”

While Adam nervously giggles, co-host Robin Quivers jumps in and says that Christina isn’t plus size. And then Adam finally says, “I wouldn’t go that far actually.” Um, nice save?

Like, when Stern starts in with the bullying—and he’s bullying Levine, not Aguilera, in a weird sense—Levine looks a little like he just wants to be shot and killed on the spot.

Honestly, I thought Levine’s performance here was fine. He doesn’t 100% have his collaborator’s back, no, but he also doesn’t play ball. I also think Levine’s throwing Howard a bone when he concludes by saying “I’m keeping my f—king mouth shut.”

Levine’s stick-thin supermodel girlfriend Anne Vyalitsyna joins him in the second half. Stern tries to get her to cop to some fear of getting old and, eventually, dumped—see a trend here?—but Vyalitsyna smiles it off.

“No, I’m really excited to see how much you can push us,” she tells Stern, not entirely ironically. “That’s really cool.”

February 25, 2012 at 12:00 pm by Jenn

1Andy Dick Just Needs to Shut His Offensive Mouth

A photo of Andy Dick

Do you want to hear something sad? I always kind of liked Andy Dick. I saw him on Sober House, and I heard him on the radio with Dr. Drew, and he always seemed like an absolute sweetheart dealing with some serious issues, and I always thought he was funny, you know, when he wasn’t getting arrested or snorting coke. But now he went and said some things about Howard Stern, some coke-fueled hurt feelings about being on the radio, and I just don’t know anymore.

“For two years I did the show, never got a cent, and I’m not complaining about that…I’m just saying the Jew facts. I never got paid,” Dick said. “I have no problem with his big, fat, hook nose, and his money-grubbing miserly Jewishness.”

Howard Stern aired that little quote on his radio show and got all indignant, understandably, and called Andy a “f*cking wacko” and claiming that no one’s going to give him a job. And hey, totally fair, Howard Stern. Call ‘em like you see ‘em.

At the end of the day, this sounds like one of those times where someone is trying to be funny but just ends up sounding really sad. And you guys, trust, Andy Dick is the saddest.

August 18, 2011 at 2:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Andy Dick, Howard Stern

14Quotables: Howard Stern Sticks Up For Brandy/All Women, Shuts Down Maksim Chmerkovskiy

“The first season these dance instructors were normal people. They’re not exactly living the high life. They put them on TV and they develop personalities. They all have become full of themselves. And Maksim is very taken with himself. He doesn’t like to be criticized. The whole show is being criticized and he doesn’t like it… Well, he is dancing with Brandy … This guy is yelling at her, giving her the business about how she has to work harder. She’s being a good sport about it, pretending like this actually matters if they’re dancing the f***ing samba correctly. All of the sudden, while he’s training her he starts smacking her on the ass. This guy is training a woman, a black woman. You know when a man walks by a woman and makes a sound like she’s a fine horse? He’s smacking her on the ass like she’s his personal property, like back in the slave days. I was astounded they were showing this on TV.”

- Howard Stern going off about Maksim Chmerkovskiy treatment of his partner Brandy on Dancing With The Stars.

A lot of people hate Howard because they just hear the things he says that are so honest that they seem offensive, but I love him because he also always says stuff like this. He’s a man of strong, smart opinions.

I couldn’t agree more about Maksim’s treatment of Brandy and how absolutely disgusting it is that the producers allow their professional relationship to be played out like that on camera.

October 17, 2010 at 12:26 pm by Molls
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