Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Harry Styles

Harry Styles got naked with his cousins

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Okay, perhaps that headline was slightly more salacious (and kinda gross, I suppose) than need be. It’s not like Harry Styles was doing anything sexual with his cousins while naked (mostly naked?). He was just… sitting on a couch playing video games and posting for pictures that would later end up on Instagram, as you do. And his cousins remained clothed, which is even more bizarre.

I wonder if Anna Todd wrote THAT one into her fanfic. I don’t get this at all – when, where, how, why… none of it. But if you’re a Harry Styles fan, I guess, uh… enjoy?

A popular Harry Styles fanfic to be released as an actual book

harry styles

There are so many amazing writers in the world who are slogging their guts out on a daily basis just to try and even get a literary agent to give them the time of day and read a piece of original fiction. It’s always been a tough business, but it’s gotten even harder in the past decade or so, since now even the book business refuses to go for original creative content and instead prefers to repurpose shitty pop culture pieces in book form.

That’s exactly what’s happening with a popular Harry Styles fanfic called After. The story has apparently been published on something called Wattpad, which is for aspiring writers, and has had over 800 million views, which is depressing / scary. Scarier still, major publishing house Simon & Schuster has picked up the story and it’s a six-figure deal for the author, Anna Todd, which basically makes me want to go smash myself through the nearest plate glass window.

According to Hypable, After is apparently about an 18-year-old college student called Tessa who gets good grades and is a good girl… until she mades a wild child named Harry, with too many tattoos and piercings, who “shatters her plans”. WHY GOD WHY? Harry’s name will apparently change in the published book version to save them from a potential lawsuit, but dear God, this is just dire. Todd has also apparently signed the world audio and movie rights to the “story”, as well.

You can read the first chapter of the story here, if you’re a masochist.

Harry Styles and Kendall Jenner Have Stopped Having Sex For Now

harry styles kendall jenner

Harry Styles and Kendall Jenner have apparently been having sex for a few months now, even though they’ve denied it. They’ve been photographed together quite a few times, spent birthday together, yada yada. Well, in what will be completely and utterly shocking news, they’re no longer doing it and have “split”.

From The Sun (via the Daily Mail)

A source told The Sun: ‘Kendall has been focusing on her modelIing and Harry is preparing for work on the band’s fourth album, as well as their stadium tour.

‘The reality is that with everything they both have going on, it’s impossible to sustain anything serious.’

The pair first started dating in November after meeting in Los Angeles, and then confirmed their romance with a skiing holiday over the Christmas holidays.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m devastated. I really thought those two were gonna make it! If Kendall Jenner and Harry Styles can’t make it work, what does that say for the rest of us?! WORST NEWS EVER!!

And… scene.

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Here’s Harry Styles’ Bare Ass, Peeing in the Bushes

harry styles ass

If you’ve ever wanted to see the junk in Harry Styles‘ trunk, here’s your chance. Apparently a few years back, Harry went out on the piss, as the English say, and needed to relieve himself. Instead of using a proper toilet or going somewhere discrete, Harry just shoved his pants ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE ANKLE (why? Is this seriously something men do?) and went for it.

Twitter user @JagChaggarTutis posted the photo and even tagged Harry in it, asking if the One Direction member (lol) had any recollection of the night in question, and while Harry didn’t respond directly, he did soon after tweet the following:


Of course, that then got Sir Mix-a-Lot involved and he was incredulous that the photo is even Harry (and it doesn’t look anything like him, to be fair) and then Mix promised a fan that he was trying to “limit the spreading”, which… let’s all just take it down a few notches.


In any case, now you’ve seen Harry Styles’ ass. I bet your life feels more complete now.

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Mark Wahlberg on Harry Styles: ‘I want to punch that little prick’

mark wahlberg

Mark Wahlberg is your standard, run-of-the-mill tough guy (or so he thinks), so he often says shit that he probably thinks sounds really impressive but actually just makes him look sorta corny and like a bit of an asshole. Latest case in point: during an interview on Conan this week, Mark revealed that his daughter is a big fan of One Direction – and band member Harry Styles, in particular.

Well, Mark doesn’t like that his daughters – one of which who is only 4 years old, keep in mind – likes anyone other than her own father, so he wants to beat the shit out of Harry Styles, who is a “prick” by virtue of his daughter being a fan. I know he wasn’t being serious (one would assume) and that he probably thought he was being “funny” and making a “joke”, but eh… no thanks, bro.

“Now the girls have turned to One Direction, they don’t care about Dad anymore. My 4-year-old’s going, ‘Daddy, I like Harry.’ And I’m like, ‘Well, I’m gonna punch Harry in the nose when I see him.’ I get jealous. If I see that little prick he’s gonna get it.”

Mmkay.

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Harry Styles Took the Paparazzi to Court and Won

harry styles

Harry Styles is unarguably the most popular member of the most popular boy band in the world right now, so it makes sense that he’d be hounded by photographers wherever he goes. That can get more than a little intrusive, so Harry did what many have done before him: he went to court to get an order to keep the paparazzi from hounding him… and he won.

A judge at the High Court ruled that photogs can no longer follow Harry “voluntarily” (is there any other way?) but apparently this whole no harassment order doesn’t mean that fans can’t still talk to him.

Here’s how his lawyer David Sherborne put it:

“This is not a privacy order. Mr Styles is not trying to prevent fans approaching him in the street and taking photos.

“He remains happy to do that, as he always has. Rather, it is the method or tactics which have been used by a certain type of photographer.”

Fair enough. Sure, you sorta sign up for a certain amount of bullshit when you get famous, but there also need to be limits. It’s just a shame those limits aren’t borne from like, human decency and have to be dictated in court.

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Harry Styles Thinks David Beckham Isn’t Iconic Enough

harry styles david beckham

Harry Styles is in need of an icon, apparently. I guess he grew up looking up to David Beckham but now David’s getting a bit worse for wear in the icon department, apparently (says the boy band member who will be forgotten in 10 years time) and he needs someone new to come on the scene.

From OK Magazine:

“I think he was everybody’s idol when I was growing up. When people asked you that question, you almost needed a back-up answer because everyone would say, ‘David Beckham!’”

“We actually met once when we were performing in LA. He brought his kids to our concert. He’s a really nice guy.”

So, Harry’s really not meaning to offend David Beckham, he just feels like his own idol should be someone more creative. I don’t really get why it matters if a person inspires more than one other, but I guess I sorta kinda get what he’s saying?

Anyway, Harry also thinks David needs to be knighted:

“I think he really deserves it. It makes sense because he’s such a national treasure. To be honest, I already thought he was Sir David Beckham anyway!”

Fair enough.

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