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Harry Styles

Is Taylor Swift back with Harry Styles, or is she actually with Karlie Kloss?

taylor swift

The Internet’s collective head vaguely exploded on Thursday because two “bombshells” (i.e. misleading photos) hit the web and now everyone wants to know the answer to a very important question: WHO IS TAYLOR SWIFT BANGING? There are two possible routes we can go here. Let’s explore them both.

Theory 1: Taylor is back with Harry Styles

taylor swift harry styles

This picture is from the other night and basically everyone is going nuts because LOOK AT HIS ARM AROUND HER WAIST AND LOOK HOW SHE’S LEANING INTO HIM AND WE ALL KNOW EVERY SONG ON 1989 IS ABOUT HIM ANYWAY SO ARE THEY DOING IT OR WHAT???

Ahem. I mean, you know. Look, Taylor Swift and Harry Styles are NEVER going to work long term. He’s a playboy (and also rumoured to be gay/in a long-term relationship with his One Direction bandmate Liam, in a coupling known as “Larry” online – seriously, fans are HARDCORE about this shit) and is with someone different every week. Taylor is the “good girl” and wants stability and cute kittens and the simple but glamourous life. They don’t work in any sense… but maybe that’s why they do. Opposite attract, as they say, and maybe they just can’t stay away from each other whenever they meet up. Or maybe it’s just a picture.

But this picture is complicated, because then we have this, also from this week…

Theory 2: Taylor is having a relationship with BFF Karlie Kloss

taylor swift karlie kloss

The picture is blurry, sure, but it seems as though BFFs Taylor and model Karlie Kloss are… a little more than friends. Another bystander claimed they were just “talking”, but that does look pretty intimate… though perhaps that’s just wishful thinking. The issue that makes it hard to determine is that apparently young girls go on with each other like this – holding hands, cuddling, basically a bunch of relationship shit that stops just short of actually having sex. Are they making out? Are they together? If so, how does Karlie feel about Taylor hanging all over Harry in the above photo? Or do they have an open relationship and she’s in on it?

Here’s a zoom of the kissing if you’re interested:

taylor swift karlie kloss kissing

THERE IS SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT, HERE.

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Taylor Swift is still messed up from her relationship with Harry Styles

taylor swift

We’re all pretty much on the same page that most of the songs on 1989 are about Harry Styles, right? Taylor Swift has admitted that her relationship with him – which ended back in January 2013 – was the last relationship she actually had, and ever since then she’s actually sworn off dating and plans to spend the rest of her life alone. Given that it’s nearly 2 years after the fact and she’s still feeling this way, there’s only one conclusion: he really fucked her up good and proper.

From Cosmopolitan UK:

Singing about the ‘daydream James Dean look’ in his eyes and how they will ‘never go out of style’, it couldn’t be more obviously (or sweetly) about One Direction’s Harry Styles. Not that she’ll be going back there… “I’ve learnt that just because someone is cute and wants to date you, that’s not a reason to sacrifice your independence and allow everyone to say whatever they want about you. I’m not doing that anymore.”

In fact she’s done with dating full stop for now, declaring: “It’d take someone really special for me to undergo the circumstances I have to go through to experience a date. I don’t know how I would ever have another person in my world trying to have a relationship with me, or a family. The best answer I can come up with now is ‘go at it alone. Life can be romantic without having a romance. I’m very attracted to how happy I am now.”

Well, obviously Taylor is still really young and it’s way too soon to say something so definite. However, I do think it’s incredibly difficult to have a successful relationship when you’re in the industry like she is. How could she? She’s constantly touring, being interviewed, having to meet fans, traveling around the world… it’s not really conducive to a loving and fulfilling relationship. Eventually, she’ll probably have to choose.

taylor swift cosmo

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Harry Styles got naked with his cousins

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Okay, perhaps that headline was slightly more salacious (and kinda gross, I suppose) than need be. It’s not like Harry Styles was doing anything sexual with his cousins while naked (mostly naked?). He was just… sitting on a couch playing video games and posting for pictures that would later end up on Instagram, as you do. And his cousins remained clothed, which is even more bizarre.

I wonder if Anna Todd wrote THAT one into her fanfic. I don’t get this at all – when, where, how, why… none of it. But if you’re a Harry Styles fan, I guess, uh… enjoy?

A popular Harry Styles fanfic to be released as an actual book

harry styles

There are so many amazing writers in the world who are slogging their guts out on a daily basis just to try and even get a literary agent to give them the time of day and read a piece of original fiction. It’s always been a tough business, but it’s gotten even harder in the past decade or so, since now even the book business refuses to go for original creative content and instead prefers to repurpose shitty pop culture pieces in book form.

That’s exactly what’s happening with a popular Harry Styles fanfic called After. The story has apparently been published on something called Wattpad, which is for aspiring writers, and has had over 800 million views, which is depressing / scary. Scarier still, major publishing house Simon & Schuster has picked up the story and it’s a six-figure deal for the author, Anna Todd, which basically makes me want to go smash myself through the nearest plate glass window.

According to Hypable, After is apparently about an 18-year-old college student called Tessa who gets good grades and is a good girl… until she mades a wild child named Harry, with too many tattoos and piercings, who “shatters her plans”. WHY GOD WHY? Harry’s name will apparently change in the published book version to save them from a potential lawsuit, but dear God, this is just dire. Todd has also apparently signed the world audio and movie rights to the “story”, as well.

You can read the first chapter of the story here, if you’re a masochist.

Harry Styles and Kendall Jenner Have Stopped Having Sex For Now

harry styles kendall jenner

Harry Styles and Kendall Jenner have apparently been having sex for a few months now, even though they’ve denied it. They’ve been photographed together quite a few times, spent birthday together, yada yada. Well, in what will be completely and utterly shocking news, they’re no longer doing it and have “split”.

From The Sun (via the Daily Mail)

A source told The Sun: ‘Kendall has been focusing on her modelIing and Harry is preparing for work on the band’s fourth album, as well as their stadium tour.

‘The reality is that with everything they both have going on, it’s impossible to sustain anything serious.’

The pair first started dating in November after meeting in Los Angeles, and then confirmed their romance with a skiing holiday over the Christmas holidays.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m devastated. I really thought those two were gonna make it! If Kendall Jenner and Harry Styles can’t make it work, what does that say for the rest of us?! WORST NEWS EVER!!

And… scene.

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Here’s Harry Styles’ Bare Ass, Peeing in the Bushes

harry styles ass

If you’ve ever wanted to see the junk in Harry Styles‘ trunk, here’s your chance. Apparently a few years back, Harry went out on the piss, as the English say, and needed to relieve himself. Instead of using a proper toilet or going somewhere discrete, Harry just shoved his pants ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE ANKLE (why? Is this seriously something men do?) and went for it.

Twitter user @JagChaggarTutis posted the photo and even tagged Harry in it, asking if the One Direction member (lol) had any recollection of the night in question, and while Harry didn’t respond directly, he did soon after tweet the following:


Of course, that then got Sir Mix-a-Lot involved and he was incredulous that the photo is even Harry (and it doesn’t look anything like him, to be fair) and then Mix promised a fan that he was trying to “limit the spreading”, which… let’s all just take it down a few notches.


In any case, now you’ve seen Harry Styles’ ass. I bet your life feels more complete now.

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Mark Wahlberg on Harry Styles: ‘I want to punch that little prick’

mark wahlberg

Mark Wahlberg is your standard, run-of-the-mill tough guy (or so he thinks), so he often says shit that he probably thinks sounds really impressive but actually just makes him look sorta corny and like a bit of an asshole. Latest case in point: during an interview on Conan this week, Mark revealed that his daughter is a big fan of One Direction – and band member Harry Styles, in particular.

Well, Mark doesn’t like that his daughters – one of which who is only 4 years old, keep in mind – likes anyone other than her own father, so he wants to beat the shit out of Harry Styles, who is a “prick” by virtue of his daughter being a fan. I know he wasn’t being serious (one would assume) and that he probably thought he was being “funny” and making a “joke”, but eh… no thanks, bro.

“Now the girls have turned to One Direction, they don’t care about Dad anymore. My 4-year-old’s going, ‘Daddy, I like Harry.’ And I’m like, ‘Well, I’m gonna punch Harry in the nose when I see him.’ I get jealous. If I see that little prick he’s gonna get it.”

Mmkay.

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