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Gwyneth Paltrow

0Gwyneth Paltrow Needed Her Mommy to Stick Up For Her Against the Meanies

gwyneth paltrow blythe danner

Gwyneth Paltrow has a lot of people who really don’t like her – and can you blame them? She’s insufferable. She constantly makes the classic rookie mistake of going on and on about how little she cares about what everyone thinks about her when someone who really didn’t care wouldn’t even bother talking about it. She thinks people can afford (and will actually purchase) a $185 backpack. I mean, that’s really the tip of the iceberg with her offenses, but suffice it to say, she’s kinda the worse.

However, now her mommy, the lovely and far less insufferable Blythe Danner, has come to her defense and claimed that anyone who doesn’t like her dear daughter must just be bored.

From Naughty But Nice Rob:

“I admire her so much. It (the criticism) doesn’t faze her. I think it probably did initially. She said, ‘Mom, I’m going to get this all my life. This is how they see me.’ I feel she’s just extraordinarily accomplished in every area and people don’t like that, some people don’t like that, people who are bored and sit on their asses all day and just tap away. I mean I don’t read any of it, I just find it so disgusting. There is a coarsening of our culture today that is just so tragic.”

That’s lovely and all, but eh… when you’re a public figure and you go on and on about how fantastic you are, you open yourself up for ridicule and criticism. Gwyneth judges everyone else’s lifestyle all the fucking time. Why can’t normal people – who, by the way, AREN’T FILTHY RICH WITH NOTHING REALLY TO COMPLAIN ABOUT – have something to say about her bullshit? Whatever. I do think Internet trolls and the media can go too far in what they say (One Direction death threats, GaGa fans telling people to die and get AIDS, etc) but I hate that we’re getting so hyper-sensitive that to criticise something automatically makes you a “hater”. We’re turning into a society where everyone has to like everything if they don’t want to be labeled a meanie. Fuuuuuuck that.

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November 29, 2013 at 6:53 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Gwyneth Paltrow

0Gwyneth Paltrow Doesn’t Give a Shit What You Think

gwyneth paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow is a total bitch… and she loves it! You see, so many people seem to have an opinion on her and thoughts on what a hot mess she is in every sense, but you know what? Too bad. She can’t hear you over the sound of her millions of dollars in bills being stacked and counted, so you can say whatever you want.

From Red:

“The older I get, I realize it doesn’t matter what people who don’t know you think. It doesn’t matter.

“If your partner comes to you, or your best friend, and says, ‘Listen, I want to talk about something you did that hurt me or I think you could improve’, sit down and listen to what they have to say. But some friend of so-and-sos, it’s like, who gives a shit?

“That’s why I really don’t read anything. Because if it’s important, it filters down to me.”

Oh Gwyneth, you’re so wise. In a way, I’m not even being flippant about that – it’s true that you need to not spend time thinking about what people who don’t even know you have to say. You all come on here all the time telling me I want to suck Justin Bieber’s dick and I’m a Feminazi and shit and I guarantee you I’m not losing sleep over it, but some people would! The only people whose opinions should matter on anything you’re doing in life are those that are actually in it, so I think she’s onto something.

Then again, she might just be saying this since Vanity Fair is about to have that ass over her secret affair with Jeff Soffer. She says they were just friends, but methinks she doth protest too much since she’s always in the press talking about how cheating is forgivable and she “knows plenty of people” who have had affairs. Girl, sit down.

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November 1, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Gwyneth Paltrow

4Gwyneth Designs A $185 Backpack

gwyneth paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow loves to think of herself as a forward-thinking fashion designer. Unfortunately, unless you’ve got Paltrow money, you’re not thinking what she’s thinking.  Her favorite spring fashions costs more than $400k and a sweatshirt she designed costs $845. Which, I guess by comparison, makes this “eco friendly backpack” a steal at $185. You can find even more “eco-friendly” items she collaborated on with designers Ecoalf, on her website, GOOP. And here’s the stunning backpack:

gwyneth paltrow goop backpack

So, yeah, Jansport this is not. But it’s just as ugly and plain. Oh, Gwyneth. I can’t even.

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October 11, 2013 at 9:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

0Christmas Came Early: Gwyneth Paltrow Joined Instagram

gwyneth paltrow instagram jason wu

Christmas came early, everyone. Gwyneth Paltrow joined Instagram with the handle @gwynethpaltrow. How nice of her to grace us with even more of her internet presence. This is gonna be so good. I’m sure we’ll see many filtered shots of $845 Paltrow designed sweatshirts. I’m sure we’ll get one of those “no makeup” selfies all the celebs love to do.

So far it’s been pretty tame. Her first photo was the above shot with designer Jason Wu. She followed that up with a “#tbt” (throwback thursday) photo of her with her mom from what I think was a Vanity Fair photo shoot.

Do not disappoint us, Ms. Paltrow. I want to see portraits of your food.

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October 4, 2013 at 6:30 am by Catherine St. Ives
Filed Under: Gwyneth Paltrow

1Gwyneth Paltrow Would Totally Date a Sex Addict

gwyneth paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow is so evolved, you guys. She has a higher level fashion sense, she follows the best diet and she would even get into a relationship with a sex addict if it came ’round. She plays a women in such a situation in some new movie called Thanks For Sharing, so that’s where the question came from. She’s not gonna cheat on Chris Martin or anything (or will she?).

From Refinery29:

Speaking to the movie, do you think you could you stay in a relationship with a sex addict?
“I’m an extremely open-minded person, so I think if it was something I knew I was getting myself into, I wouldn’t let it deter me from exploring the relationship.”

What about the majority of women? How do you think other women might handle it?
“I think it would be hard for me to be one of those wives who finds out there’s been something going on behind my back twenty years in. I’d imagine you’d begin to question your life. It would definitely make things harder, but I believe that if there’s authenticity and honesty right off the bat, things will be okay.”

Cheating and sex addiction are similar, but still very different. Could you stay with someone who cheated?
“I think that if the idea of being committed to someone is important to you, you begin to value certain parts of your social life over another. No couple is the same, and as such, every couple takes on different challenges. I would like to think that I would be forgiving and/or forgiven, but I can’t give an honest answer as I haven’t really experienced that.”

Can this woman fuck off already? Describing yourself as “extremely open-minded” and putting up with relationship bullshit doesn’t make you a more evolved person, it makes you a chump or someone who’s guilty of the behaviour in question. Of course, I’m not here to tell someone how to run their relationships because she’s right in that everyone faces their own challenge, but I know cheating would be a total dealbreaker for me. I could never trust that person again, and without trust, what’s the point?

Ugh, screw Gwyneth Paltrow for making me get deep on a Wednesday morning.

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September 25, 2013 at 3:30 pm by Jennifer
Filed Under: Gwyneth Paltrow

15Gwyenth Paltrow “Designed” an $845 Sweatshirt

gwyneth paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow long ago lost her grip on reality, so it’s no surprise that she thinks spending exorbitant amounts of money on everyday things is not only acceptable but desirable. Enter the “embellished sweatshirt” she designed with Matthew Williamson and is selling on her goop website for… $845. Yes, that’s $845 for a fucking black sweatshirt you could pick up at target for $10, it just has a few ugly ass crystals sewn onto it. And that makes it worth nearly a grand, apparently.

Here’s how it’s being marketed:

Together with Matthew Williamson, we’ve made the perfect statement sweatshirt for fall. The slimfit cut (like your favorite highschool sweatshirt) in olive green cotton jersey and intricate Swarovski embellishment works with denim jeans, switching to a pencil skirt for evening.

Uh, yeah, we all had $850 sweatshirts in high school – remember that? Fuck off, lady. Here’s a look at this piece of shit:

sweatshirt

Ugh, go away.

September 21, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer
Filed Under: Gwyneth Paltrow
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