Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow goes Madonna, Audrey Hepburn for Max Factor campaign

gwyneth paltrow madonna max factor

Gwyneth Paltrow is a hot ass mess, and something she just cannot do – besides get the stick out of her ass – is “let loose”. I literally cannot imagine the woman not in pressed linen pants or, say, eating a large pepperoni pizza in pyjamas that are stained sort of a weird purple colour because she accidentally put them in the wash with the darker stuff. She’s just not capable of it, and that’s why her new Max Factor campaign is a massive fail.

For the ads, which are part of Max Factor’s 100 years of Glamour anniversary/Modern Icon campaign, Goopy dresses up like four beauty icons: Madonna, Farrah Fawcett, Audrey Hepburn and Brigitte Bardot. She carries off exactly none of them.

gwyneth paltrow brigitte bardot max factor

See what I mean? I know that Max Factor as a brand wants to convey a certain level of glamour and seriousness – especially since they aren’t exactly marketing to the teen crowd – but like… why? Why Gwyneth Paltrow as the face of your brand at all, really? I would lay $100 bet on the fact that she’s never touched an item of their makeup (other than, say, for photoshoots) and would turn her nose up at drugstore beauty purchases. After all, they’re not organic and don’t contain ingredients that were milked from the teats of forest squirrels or whatever she’s into. It’s just not believable.

gwyneth paltrow audrey hepburn max factor

What do you think?

gwyneth paltrow farrah fawcett max factor

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Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are about to consciously re-couple

gwyneth paltrow chris martin

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin decided to “consciously uncouple” from their nearly decade-long marriage just a few short months ago, and while there were rumours of cheating on both sides, the pair have remained pretty close. So close, in fact, that it seems like they may just give their relationship another shot.

From Radar Online:

“Chris still lives with her, they are amazingly lovey-dovey together and she still wears her wedding ring,” a source tells the paper of the pair, who share a $14 million Malibu mansion.  “They may have consciously uncoupled a few months ago – but they seem to be recoupling now. No one will be surprised if they get back together.”

Friends say the break-up actually allowed the pair to breathe a little, and enjoy each other’s company without expectations.

“It’s true they had problems but in the weirdest way this ‘conscious uncoupling’ situation has relieved the pressure on them,” explains the insider.

Well, that’s that, I suppose. Given the sound of Coldplay‘s new album, Chris was having some major emo drama over their split, so it’s not really all that surprising. That, combined with Gwyneth’s terror over tarnishing her pristine (as she sees it) reputation, means this is a reunion that’s most likely on.

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Gwyneth Paltrow thinks internet comments are like being in a real life war

gwyneth paltrow recode

Gwyneth Paltrow is not the sharpest tool in the shed, nor does she have much of a connection to reality as the rest of us know it. It’s hilarious, really – or rather, you have to laugh to keep from crying because it’s so insane that a woman who sees herself as so enlightened can walk around living in such ignorance. Her latest foray into the land of “HUH?” is the fact that she compared people making mean comments about her on the internet to… being in a real live war where you can be killed and your entire life can be destroyed, as well as the lives of those you love. LOL, okay, let’s go with this then.

From TMZ:

Shortly before her appearance at the Code tech conference this week, Paltrow said, “You come across [comments] about yourself and about your friends, and it’s a very dehumanizing thing. It’s almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it.”

Paltrow — whose most recent life struggle was probably a scuffed nail — added, “My hope is, as we get out of it, we’ll reach the next level of conscience.”

Paltrow added, “It’s taken me a long time to get to the point where I can see these things and not take it as a personal affront and a hurt. I see myself as a chalkboard or a whiteboard or a screen, and someone is just putting up their own projection on it.”

Of course, actual veterans aren’t really pleased with this whole comparison, and she’s managed to piss off/alienate a whole lot of people yet again with her bullshit.

Cindy McCain — the wife of John McCain (an actual veteran) — has already torn Paltrow to shreds on Twitter, writing, “Gweneth Paltrow [sic] is a joke … Perhaps Gweneth Paltrow should go out on patrol with some soldiers. Kind of like a Red Carpet in her mind I guess!”

And other veterans agree — a rep for Veterans for Peace tells TMZ, “She doesn’t understand what it means to be in real danger … Not someone talking to you on the Internet, but actually having bullets shot at you.”

The rep adds, “I’ve gone to war and had that kind of fear. She’s not in a situation where she can compare the two. She hasn’t had to fear for her life and not know whether she’d make it home.”

I really fear for this woman’s children and can only hope they get out early enough not to be eternally damaged by their mother’s idiocy. It’s sort of sad that she’s been through so little in her life that people saying what an idiot she is online has caused her severe stress in life. If that’s the worst of her problems, I’d say she’s pretty damn lucky, wouldn’t you?

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