6Aww, Look Who’s Still a Self-Entitled Little Turd.

Smile, baby!

Word on the street is that Grey’s Anatomy phenom Katherine Heigl is trying to spread the word that she should be nominated for an Emmy award due to her huge success on the medical-themed and mega star-power that, you know, follows her everywhere she goes. According to Entertainment Weekly, Heigl, herself, has really done just that:

Though she sat out more than half of the season of Grey’s Anatomy, Katherine Heigl has submitted herself in the supporting actress category for this year’s Emmy race, her representative confirms. There is no set amount of episodes that an actor must appear in to be eligible for either the supporting or lead actor categories.

Heigl only appeared in a handful of episodes this year before her character, Dr. Izzie Stevens, was last seen around Seattle Grace in January. Heigl was due back on the set of the ABC drama March 1 but she never showed up. Heigl told EW that “rumors that I refused to return were totally untrue.” ABC Studios said it was mutually agreed upon that Heigl would end her run this season.

Yes, guys, she totally does deserve that Emmy … and you wanna know why? Because you’re probably looking at the next condescending, good-living advice-spewing, Goop-filled Gwyneth Paltrow, right here. Like the child that craves attention, maybe if you acknowledge her quick and thoroughly, she’ll go away for awhile. Or at least until the next pain in the ass kid comes along and doesn’t want to share their stupid ball, either.

June 8, 2010 at 6:32 am by Sarah

3Jake Gyllenhaal is Fearful of Long-Legged, Beak-Faced Predators

So I guess ever dating Gwyneth Paltrow is totally out of the question.

Jake dishes on his upcoming movie, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, and the film’s use of ostriches to enhance the film’s ambiance. Gyllenhaal states:

“They would say, ‘Don’t make any noise around the ostriches. They’ll tear out your eyes and rip out your heart.’ So, I was naturally terrified … They look like they’re innocent, but they’re really not.”

Prince of Persia is based on the video game of the same name and follows a prince (Gyllenhaal) on his quest to prevent worldwide doom in a scantily-clad kind of way, similar to almost every other fantasy/action movie. On the whole, it sounds alright, but I think it’s going to be one of those movies I happen to see accidentally, rather than making the conscious effort to get in my car, drive seven miles to the nearest theater and pay ten bucks to see a movie that features a shirtless Jake Gyllenhaal … ’cause it’s Gyllenhaal shirtless or not.

The moral of the story? Keep the hell away from ostriches (and Gwyneth Paltrow) at all costs.

May 10, 2010 at 10:52 am by Sarah

23Quotables

“I can be mean. I can cave in to gossip. I can ice people out and I can definitely harbour revenge. In fact, I’m having a situation right now with a friend where I’m feeling pretty angry. But revenge is corrosive and it doesn’t make me feel good. I’ll wake up in the morning and think, ‘Ugh, I feel terrible’, and suddenly realize, ‘Ah, that’s why. I’m holding on to so much hate.”

–Gwyneth Paltrow gives us an inside look at the ice-chip-nipple queen herself in an interview with Brit Vogue. Shite, paint me shocked in all the colors of Paltrow’s monochromatic wardrobe. But I guess if I didn’t allow myself to eat pasta … or doughnuts … or brownies and flour and water, too, I’d probably be a bitter suck-egg bitch as well.

April 7, 2010 at 6:27 am by Sarah

30Gwyneth Paltrow Gives Pretentious Advice, Also Sings Like Shit

Well, well … For someone who presents herself to be so hoity-toity, enlightened and above it all, Gwyneth Paltrow can’t sing a note to save her life.

Paltrow was spotted out at a wrap party for her latest flick, Love Don’t Let Me Down and girlfriend sounded like she’d swallowed a bag of smashed cats.

For someone who I consider to be a sub-par actress to begin with, I hardly think this clip is for “pretend.”

I know there are probably some of you out there who’ll read this, shit all over yourselves and start with the “Gwyneth is God, Gwyneth is a fucking guru of fine living, Gwyneth bumped uglies with revered sex-beast Brad Pitt for shit’s sake” and you know what? I’ve fastened my index fingers securely into my ear canals. A tool is a tool no matter how partially chewed off the thorns are and there is nothing endearing or cute about Gwyneth Paltrow mumbling clumsily along to a song that practically anyone with a half a lung can sing.

What do you guys think?  Do you think she can sing?  You know, in that special kind of way that she thinks she can?

March 11, 2010 at 6:54 am by Sarah

9Does Gwyneth Paltrow Think She’s Above the Law?

Gwyneth Paltrow kind of strikes me as a self-important snob, but not necessarily one who doesn’t think the rules apply to her. However, the New York Post brought up an interesting question regarding one of her latest entries on that crappy highfalutin lifestyle site she runs, GOOP. Apparently Gwen raves on and on about her recent visit to the Mamounia Hotel in Morocco where she was attending a junket with Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom. The problem with that? According to new FTC guidelines, bloggers now have to disclose any and all information about gifts and services they receive for free. Odds are that if she was staying at the hotel for a junket, she wasn’t picking up the tab.

My guess is that Gwynnie wasn’t trying to pull a fast one on the housewives and desk jockeys that actually read her blog so they can follow her advice, I’m guessing that she was just clueless to the rule. However, it’s quite important to keep in mind that someone like Gwyneth is not really a regular blogger. Your average blogger might get a free hand cream or book to review, but celebrities who have blogs? Totally different ballgame. I’m not sure it’s even fair for the same rules to apply. Beside, don’t we all kind of assume that famous people get just about everything for free except their houses?

December 21, 2009 at 9:00 am by Molls

15Chris Martin Could Possibly be Having an Affair with Kate Bosworth

Star is reporting that Gwyneth’s husband is having an affair with Kate Bosworth.  This presents some problems because Kate is totally dating Alexander Skarsgard.  How is she finding the time to fuck all these dudes?  No wonder she’s so thin!

This story originated at Star, but now X17 has an “exclusive source” who confirms that Chris Martin has been publicly macking on Kate while playing at a benefit.  That would certainly be a Boldplay.  According to the “source”, Gwyn and Chris’ marriage is over and he’s moved on to Kate.  I don’t buy it.  I’m sure that Chris Martin was making out with some anorexic, pasty, marginally talented blonde — the one he’s married to.

November 4, 2009 at 12:11 pm by Wendie