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Gwyneth Paltrow

10Quotables: Nas is An Idiot

photo of gwyneth paltrow and nas pictures

“I would slap the s*** out of somebody for Gwyneth Paltrow. She’s the homie, she’s cool. Gwyneth gets a pass. Real people get a pass. We know what this s*** is. We don’t interrupt Italians when they say ‘Wop’ to each other. They gonna punch you in the mouth if you interrupt that. Don’t interrupt us. We pick and choose. … Some might not feel the same way. Some of us will get angrier about it than others; but some people get a pass. The people that I know who are cool and real n****s, Gwyneth Paltrow is a real n****, that’s my homie. That’s how I’m on it. Some people get a pass.”

So is that how this all is? Because I’m afraid I just don’t get it. Here’s a quick suggestion: how about we ALL stop saying the offending word (people of all races), and be done with it? Then no one feels insulted, excluded, faked out, shit on, oppressed, or revered. Will that work for everyone?

Whatever. Nas is a pretentious idiot anyway.

June 13, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Gwyneth Paltrow, Nas

10Apparently Gwyneth Paltrow’s a Racist Now, is Tweeting the N-Word

Gwyneth Paltrow on WhoSay

That photo up there is from Gwyneth’s Twitter account, and the photo was captioned with the following:

Ni**as in Paris for real

And people are FREAKING THE F-CK OUT. All sorts of media outlets are reporting Gwyneth as racist, and claim that she’s spreading hate messages all over the internets. And it’s seriously one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard in my lifetime. Gwyneth Paltrow, racist? Please. Racism is so not cool, so there’s no way she’d be a part of it, even if she really *did* have racial sentiments. Second, Gwyneth Paltrow is known to be close friends with Jay-Z and Beyonce, and has professed her love for rap in the past. That kind of behavior definitely doesn’t trigger a “RACIST!” response within me, sorry. Last? It’s the damn title of the song. And she was IN PARIS. How quickly people turn their selective memories off and on.

I’m not Team Gwyneth in, like, practically anything, but come on. Even I have to defend her from this kind of garbage. Jeez.

June 4, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Gwyneth Paltrow

1Kim Kardashian Has A New Twinsie!

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow and Kim Kardashian

Last year, Gwyneth Paltrow wore an awful, awful dress to the Emmys. She should never have worn it in the first place, but if she absolutely had to, then it should have been stripped from her body and burned by her servants immediately after the event. Of course, that’s how things would go in a perfect world. Since this world isn’t perfect, Kim Kardashian wore the same awful dress to a party in Cannes.

This is interesting because Kim and Gwyneth are both pretty unlikable ladies, and if they’re both wearing the same unlikable dress, well, then we’ve got a whole mess of horrible then, don’t we? The question is which of these two looks less awful.

Here’s another shot of Gwyneth:

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow

And here’s Kim:

A photo of Kim Kardashian

Man, I really, really despise that dress. That being said, I think Kim might pull it off just a little better. Gwyneth has more of a straight figure, where Kim (obviously) has a lot more curves. I think those curves make the top stay in place a little better, so it’s not so obvious that this is a damn formal belly shirt. As the late, great Whitney Houston said, it’s not right, but it’s ok.

But what do you guys think?

Who wore it better?
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May 24, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily

1Gwyneth Paltrow Reveals The Best Compliment She’s Ever Received

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow

I’ve received some pretty nice compliments in my day. I’ve had a few people tell me that they like the way I speak, which is nice. One time I had this big financial aid crisis in college, and I thought I wasn’t going to be able to finish on time without summer classes or extra credits, and for my broke ass self attending my insanely expensive college, that wasn’t going to work. I cried in my professor’s office, and when it turned out that everything was actually in order and I didn’t have anything to worry about, he told me that I had magical unicorn tears that could cure cancer, which was also a good one. One of the best compliments I’ve ever gotten though came from one of my friends, this wacky, amazing girl, who would often tell me how beautiful I was. We’d be having lunch, and she’d just look at me and say something like “Emily, you look like the Mona Lisa,” and then go on about my eyes or my smile or whatever. Compliments are nice, aren’t they?

But if I’ve gotten such nice compliments, just think about what sort of compliments a gorgeous, glamorous celebrity like Gwyneth Paltrow has gotten. I can’t even begin to imagine all the wonderful things that she’s heard about herself, can you? I’m sure us lowly common folk wouldn’t be able to handle such high praise.

So what’s the best compliment Gwyneth Paltrow has ever received then?

“It’s whenever flight attendants tell me my kids are the most polite fliers they’ve ever seen, and when someone tells me they’ve gotten something great out of goop.com.”

Really? Those are the best compliments you’ve ever gotten, Gwyneth? Your kids can behave themselves on flights and people like your website? I don’t know what I’m more surprised about, the fact that that was her answer or the fact that anyone has actually benefited from that dumb site.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever gotten?

May 9, 2012 at 11:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Gwyneth Paltrow

3Stars Without Makeup: Gwyneth Paltrow

photo of gwyneth paltrow pictures photos
Ugh, man, I’m going to totally hate myself for saying this, but isn’t Gwyneth Paltrow cute without makeup? I know that’s probably precisely what she wants to hear from us (the commoners), and she’s probably going to ride this high horse for the next six years—at least—but I had to say it. I’m sorry. Sometimes I just can’t lie when it comes to certain celebrities, and though it’s unfortunate that it’s all about Gwyneth Paltrow this time, I couldn’t do it now, either.

This is Gwyneth, no makeup, running errands in the rain while in London. And it’s apparent—personal feelings aside—that girlfriend is even striking when she doesn’t have a full face of powder and contouring paste and fake eyelashes on.

How do all you guys feel about girlfriend? Is she a self-righteous twat little flower no matter what she looks like? Or should we cut her some slack and say, “Hey. Maybe she’s not as miserably self-involved as she comes off”?

Gwyneth - what is it?
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May 2, 2012 at 4:30 am by Sarah

32Celebrities Reveal Their Favorite Sex Positions

photo of gwyneth paltrow on the conversation pics
From Starpulse:

Celebrity guests on the premiere episode of Amanda De Cadenet’s new chat show “The Conversation” were quizzed about their favorite sex positions.

Gwyneth Paltrow, Zoe Saldana, Jane Fonda and Sarah Silverman were all asked what makes them most comfortable in intimate settings.

The racy question raised eyebrows for Fonda and prompted de Cadenet’s longtime pal Paltrow to shriek, “What?”

Silverman said, “I do enjoy a good sound missionary-ing… and I like to be manhandled.”

Saldana replied, “I like missionary and I like being on my knees too. And I love being on top… I love doggy-style or standing up.”

Candid Fonda offered: “While I am quite flexible and I can kneel, it’s not quite as comfortable for me as it used to be before I had a fake knee… (I like to be) either lying down or sitting up on a couch with him coming on to me, no pun intended.”

After her initial shock, Paltrow added, “I’m down with all of them.”

Ha! Of course Gwyneth Paltrow was all taken aback by the question. God, she probably hasn’t had sex since Brad Pitt back in 1997! And Sarah Silverman, peh. For as raunchy and down-and-dirty nasty as she pretends to be, you’d think she’d have come up with a better answer than “I do enjoy a good sound missionary-ing …” because what? She feels the need to play coy to The Conversation‘s easy-to-offend audience? No, because the audience isn’t easy to offend, but Sarah likes to pander to whomever she sees as important for the minute. OK, I’m done ranting about Sarah Silverman for right now. Needless to say, she’s not one of my favorite people in Hollywood, but if you’ve been here as long as I have, you probably already knew that.

Jane Fonda is still totally hot for her age (which is seventy-four if you can believe it), and her detailed answer (minus the fake knee thing, all that was successful in was making me cringe with my whole spirit) was, by far, the best and least-rehearsed, but I’m thinking she should probably elaborate the whole “sitting on a couch” thing, because that just sounds frightening and geriatric, at best.

Zoe Saldana did best with what she had to work with, and gave us a peek into what a very active sex life with People’s Sexiest Man Alive was probably like. Don’t be jealous.

Did you guys watch The Conversation this past weekend?

April 30, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Sarah