Today's Evil Beet Gossip
George Lucas

Star Wars Updates

NERDS, GET IN HERE, WE’RE TALKING ABOUT STAR WARS IN HERE. Mark Hamill AKA Luke Skywalker of the Star Wars trilogy, is in talks about possibly returning to the franchise. “Who cares about Mark Hamill?” you ask. I CARE. A LOT OF US CARE. THERE ARE 4 – 8 PEOPLE READING THIS WHO CARE ABOUT MARK HAMILL.

Via Hollywood Reporter:

They’re talking to us. George [Lucas] wanted to know whether we’d be interested. He did say that if we didn’t want to do it, they wouldn’t cast another actor in our parts; they would write us out. I can tell you right away that we haven’t signed any contracts. We’re in the stage where they want us to go in and meet with Michael Arndt, who is the writer, and Kathleen Kennedy, who is going to run Lucasfilm. Both have had meetings set that were postponed — on their end, not mine. They’re more busy than I am.

Omg, Mark Hamill, you adorable national treasure. “They’re more busy than I am.” That is some beautiful honesty right there.

In January it was announced that J.J. Abrams is directing the first sequel, Episode VII. Then, there was discussion that Harrison Ford is reprising his role as Han Solo, but reports conflict as to whether or not it’s official just yet. Rolling Stone says it is, but check out their source.

From Rolling Stone:

Harrison Ford will return as the original space cowboy, Han Solo, in the new installments of the Star Wars franchise, according to Fox News Latino columnist Umberto “El Mayimbe” Gonzalez. The reporter said he “triple checked” his “legitimate sources”…

Oh cool, well we all know how legit that Umberto “El Mayimbe” Gonzalez is.

Hamill goes onto speculate,

I’m assuming, because I haven’t talked to the writers, that these movies would be about our offspring — like my character would be sort of in the Obi-Wan range [as] an influential character. … When I found out [while making the original trilogy] that ultimate good news/bad news joke – the good news is there’s a real attractive, hot girl in the universe; the bad news is she’s your sister – I thought, ‘Well, I’m going to wind up like Sir Alec. I’m going to be a lonely old hermit living out in some kind of desert igloo with a couple of robots.’

mark hamill simpsons

Or doing dinner theater!

George Lucas is Giving All That ‘Star Wars’ Money Away

photo of george lucas pictures disney pic
So you obviously heard about George Lucas selling the next three ‘Star Wars’ movies (plus some other marketing stuff) to Disney for a cool $4.5 billion dollars, right? If not, well, he did, and the *latest* story now is that he’s donating all of the money he received to education. Yes, to charity, more or less. Not to his grandchildren, and not to some obscure ‘Star Wars’ foundation or whatever. A spokesperson for Lucasfilm says:

“George Lucas has expressed his intention, in the event the deal closes, to donate the majority of the proceeds to his philanthropic endeavors.”

George himself also said yesterday:

“For 41 years, the majority of my time and money has been put into the company. As I start a new chapter in my life, it is gratifying that I have the opportunity to devote more time and resources to philanthropy.”

I guess for all you folks out there who say that George Lucas did what he did with Episodes I, II, and III sold out and did it for the money, well. I think that George has a little bit more in his head and his heart than lining his pocket. You know. Obviously.

Oh hey! Here’s an idea! Maybe Lindsay Lohan could follow suit and donate all of her hard-earned ‘Liz & Dick’ money (you know, all $300k of it) to the Meth Dealers of America, because Lord knows that they’re probably hurting with Michael Lohan, Master Interventionalist at large.

The wheels are always turning, here, guys. The hamster might be asleep occasionally, but the wheel goes on.

OK, So the ‘Star Wars’ Fan in Me is Geeking Right Out

photo of star wars pictures
Have you heard? Those pesky ‘Star Wars’ installments that were supposedly never going to happen? Well. BY GUM THEY ARE. From the mouth of Disney CEO Robert A. Iger:

“Lucasfilm reflects the extraordinary passion, vision, and storytelling of its founder, George Lucas. This transaction combines a world-class portfolio of content including Star Wars, one of the greatest family entertainment franchises of all time, with Disney’s unique and unparalleled creativity across multiple platforms, businesses, and markets to generate sustained growth and drive significant long-term value.”

And from the man, the master, himself, George Lucas:

“For the past 35 years, one of my greatest pleasures has been to see Star Wars passed from one generation to the next. It’s now time for me to pass Star Wars on to a new generation of filmmakers.”

So! Who should direct these films? Joss Whedon would be my first pick naturally, but since he’s gone and endorsed Mitt Romney … well, I just don’t know that I can do that now.

Oh, and by the way? The whole deal went down for a little over FOUR BILLION DOLLARS. Not a bad penny, huh?

Oprah Tops Forbes‘ Highest-Paid Celebrities List

photo of oprah winfrey forbes highest paid list pictures
… And interestingly enough, she’s the only woman in the Top 10. Others on the list are as follows:

#10 – Simon Cowell, $90 million
#9 – George Lucas, $90 million
#8 – James Patterson, $94 million
#7 – Howard Stern, $95 million
#6 – Tyler Perry, $105 million
#5 – Dr. Dre, $110 million
#4 – Jerry Bruckheimer, $115 million
#3 – Steven Spielberg, $130 million
#2 – Michael Bay, $160 million
#1 – Oprah Winfrey, $165 million

The monetary amounts are calculated by endorsements, profits, upfront pay and advertising work, and doesn’t even factor in whatever these people might be making off the books for … well, for whatever, really. When you’re making that kind of money, there’s lots of ways to fudge the numbers, I suppose.

When you’ve got it, you’ve got it, right? Damn.

There’s Going to Be a Star Wars Television Series? Seriously?

George Lucas Working on Live-Action Star Wars Television Series

You’d think at this point George Lucas would want to move on with his life.

Like, buddy, you’ve been doing this Star Wars thing forever. Fidel Castro’s smoking a cigar somewhere like, “When is this guy gonna stop?”

I guess the live-action television series Lucas is working on will not focus on the primary Star Wars characters.

“The Skywalkers aren’t in it, and it’s about minor characters,” he told the LA Times. He’s just begun work on the series, and won’t reveal anything more about it.

But at Evil Beet, we can exclusively reveal very important details about the Star Wars television series:

1) It will suck.
2) It will totally suck.
3) George Lucas hasn’t put out a decent piece of film in nearly 25 years.
4) So this will suck.