Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Fatmire Sinanaj

Fatmire Is Back, Is Writing A Book, Painting, And Starting A Fashion Line

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

Oh, Fatmire. It’s been far, far too long since we last heard from dear Fatmire, hasn’t it? Three long, torturous month of missing out on the tenacity of the girl who maybe slept with Kris Humphries a few times. But fear not, friends, because Fatmire is back. And she’s back hard.

From Page Six:

Kris Humphries’ “booty call girl” Myla Sinanaj is trying to extend her 15 minutes of fame by launching fashion lines and also writing a tell-all book. (But she may need spelling and geography lessons first.)

A press release issued yesterday gushed that Sinanaj — who lied about being pregnant with Humphries’ baby, and is still seeing the Brooklyn Nets star — is a “modern ‘it’ girl” with “beauty and brains” whose new swimwear line 4 Seasons will “cater to those jet-setting women who need to look hot and sexy in the dead of winter on a quick get away to St. Tropaz or Maui.” We’re not sure about the winter weather in St. Tropaz— but in St. Tropez, the average high in February is all of 54 degrees. So jet-setters, leave those bikinis at home.

Either way, Sinanaj, according to the release, is also “expressing her feelings and thoughts by painting” and “working on an exclusive signature spikes & studs, diamonds, and crystals fashion line while writing a much anticipated raw account of her life, where she does not hesitate to push the limit on decency, scandal, sex, and trafficking.”

This is just the best, isn’t it? I had no idea how much I missed typing or even thinking about her name until I started this story. And just think about it: this girl is trying to start an entire career from her experience of faking a pregnancy with a guy who is only famous (and not even all that famous at that) for being married to Kim Kardashian. How do you live with yourself after that?

Fatmire Called Out Kim Kardashian on Twitter

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

Oh, I’m sorry, did you think that Fatmire was going to go away quietly? After that whole pregnancy scam fell through, she had to think of some way to stay in the spotlight. And what better way to do it than to start tweeting at your fake ex-boyfriend’s ex?

From TMZ:

Kim Kardashian just got a WARNING from a woman with whom she has something in common – Kris Humphries … and the warning is … BACK OFF!

Myla Sinanaj just tweeted to Kim, “Why don’t u enjoy ur Miami trip and stop sending private investigators to my house-Stop dragging me into ur drama.”

Myla followed that up with, “I don’t have to explain Or apologize for who I chose to be friends with.  Subpoena or not!”

Myla is referring to a subpoena from Kim’s camp ordering her to sit for a deposition at the end of the month.  The depo involves Kim’s divorce from Kris — something Myla may know a  thing or 2 about.  Myla’s ex-lawyer, Joe Tacopina, already accepted service on Myla’s behalf, but it seems Kim’s camp may be worried Myla may now say he didn’t have authority to do that.

Myla also just tweeted, “Subpoena me twice for the same thing!  Hilarious.”

I just love that Fatmire is the kind of person who thinks that there’s this big fight going on when, in reality, the person she thinks she’s fighting with barely has a clue that she exists. I seriously doubt that Kim is sitting around, plotting out how to ruin Fatmire’s life. That’s what her lawyers are for.

I also enjoy the bonus hilarity of the “why don’t u enjoy ur Miami trip” bit, mostly because I bet she read that Kim is in Miami when she was Googling herself. Fatmire is truly an exceptional breed of fame whore.

Fatmire and Kris Humphries Never Even Had Sex, God

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

Look, I know that some of you can’t appreciate Fatmire here as much as I can. And I respect that, I really do. I admire your ability to just say no to all the new train wreck fame whores on the block, but that just not an ability that I have. I can’t look away from this, and as much as I wish I could, I just can’t quit Fatmire. I can’t. I’m sorry.

Now that that’s out of the way, let me tell you all about how Fatmire is now claiming that she never even had sex with Kris Humphries. This news, of course, comes just a week after she called TMZ to let them know that she was pregnant with Kris’ baby and posed for some paparazzi shots. That Fatmire, she’s like the wind:

When Myla was asked point blank if she has had sex with Kris she denied that they had. “No, I don’t do that type of thing,” she said.

“We’re friends. We’re really close friends.”

She also said that Kris needs to get a divorce before he starts dating, but that he’s “a great guy with a great heart.” During the interview they also talked about Kim (who has never had the honor to meet Fatmire, by the way) and the divorce proceedings (Fatmire has been subpoenaed by Kim’s lawyers), and she had this little gem to say:

“I’m hoping Kim realizes that she doesn’t have to fly all the way to New York for me, we’re just friends,” she said about her non-sexual relationship with Kris.

I’m not sure what that even means, but it just proves how delusional Fatmire is. I read through some of her tweets last night, and it sounds like this girl has lost touch with reality. Here are a few samples of tweets from the past few days:

So I say I’m not prego & ppl say why did u say u were?Wtf you want me to pee in a cup & post te results? LMAO I never said I was Press did

I swear you can’t win with ppl you tell the truth but they don’t like the answer. Yea I know truth isn’t as entertaining! Geez

Watch 2mrw they will report I have a life threatening illness with only 2 weeks to live lol I feel like I’m on Maury Everyday ?#markmyword?

I’m a curvy girl! Just depends on angle of pic Media job is to get bad ones of me! Its what sells

Girl. You are Fatmire. You are not Angelina Jolie. You are not Lindsay Lohan. You’re not even Courtney Stodden. You are a woman who talked to Kim Kardashian’s soon-to-be ex on a beach one time, and you ran with it. And good for you, that’s some good hustle, but I don’t think all these members of the press are sitting around, trying to come up with the next great Fatmire story. If you’d stop alerting TMZ of your every move, it wouldn’t be too long before you slipped back out of the public eye.

Oh, and just because I can’t let the whole “bad angle” thing go, here’s one of the photos of Fatmire that, along with her tip to TMZ, started the pregnancy rumors:

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

Yeah, that’s not a bad angle, that’s an ill-fitting dress and a pushed out gut. Oh, that Fatmire, she never disappoints!

Fatmire Was Just Playin’ About That Whole Baby Thing

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

Let’s all take a deep sigh of relief, for our dear Fatmire is actually not pregnant. She will not bear the child of Kris Humphries, for there is no Fatmy Jr. nestled in her tummy. Nope, not pregnant. Just crazy.

From TMZ:

Kris Humphries can breathe a sigh of relief — his ex-girlfriend Myla Sinanaj insists she’s NOT PREGNANT … her belly’s just naturally round.

Myla was out in Jersey earlier today, where a photog asked her straight — are you pregnant or not? Myla responded, “I am definitely not pregnant.”

What Myla DOESN’T explain is why she texted her lawyer Friday night that she WAS pregnant — and why she told numerous other people, including Kris, that she was expecting.

Myla’s latest version is that people just started talking and, “Of course, me not being a size zero kept it going.”

That, and her lying about being pregnant.

Yesterday I said that Fatmire had some pretty impressive game, but she obviously took it too far with this whole pregnancy thing. She lost any credibility that she had, which was approximately none, so I don’t know how she expects to come back from this. She’ll probably have to move on out to L.A. and make best friends with Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton. OR KIM KARDASHIAN.

Your future’s so bright, Fatmire!

Fatmire’s Follies: A Fantastic Frolic Through The Fanciful Fibs of Fraudulent Fatmire

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

Fatmire’s gone and done it again! This girl has some amazing game, if you think about it. Like, this is the kind of strategy I bet Kim Kardashian would have used if she wasn’t lucky enough to have Robert Kardashian for a father: find some remotely famous guy, talk to him, maybe sleep with him, and then call TMZ and tell them every single detail. Oh, and if you feel like interest in you may be slipping a little, be sure to fake a pregnancy.

Anyway, when I say that Fatmire’s done it again, I mean that she’s managed to get herself on the front page of TMZ several times in the past few days. Here’s a breakdown of what she’s been doing for attention:

- A few weeks ago, poor Fatmire got her feelings hurt when Kris Humphries denied that she was his lady. She called Kris multiple times, then she called his friends and left a voicemail in which she threatened to leak information about Kris, whatever that might be. Kris got a hold of the voicemail, sent it to his lawyers, and his lawyers sent it to the FBI, claiming that Fatmire was trying to extort him. Fatmire and her lawyer told TMZ that unless Kris said he was sorry, they were going to file a defamation suit. POOR FATMIRE.

- But then, just yesterday, Fatmire was all “just playin’!” and dropped the lawsuit because she wants Kris back. She even agreed to sign a confidentiality agreement. She’s not even getting paid! Girl’s got it bad!

- Meanwhile, Kris isn’t so sure that he’s the father of that baby.

- Then today we got the warm and fuzzy news that Kris very well could be that father because he isn’t too fond of condoms. Specifically, “if there wasn’t one handy, Kris had no problem going about his business.” Aww, Kris! Don’t be a turkey, wrap that jerkey! Gah!

- Finally, just a few minutes ago, Fatmire tweeted a photo with the caption “Loook No Babyy bump!” Here’s the photo:

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!