In case you have a life and/or enough self-respect to have missed watching Nick Gordon‘s interview-cum-intervention with Dr. Phil yesterday, don’t worry – I’m here to tell you what an unsurprising trainwreck the whole thing was. Not because I watched it live either, of course, but the internet is a miraculous place where things are available roughly five seconds after they air, so here we are. Before we get to the video, here are a few… erm, highlights? Or at least a few things to note, at the very least. – Nick was drunk when he turned up for the interview. Dr. Phil was aware of this before the cameras started rolling but decided a paycheck was worth more than his dignity, so the interview went forward. At one point, Nick says, “You’re gonna ask… I’ve been drinking. I have been doing Xanax… I’ve been sober besides that.” – Nick’s mom claims that Nick has tried to kill himself by taking pills and insists that he would never have hurt Bobbi Kristina. – At one point, Nick shouts “I hate Bobby Brown!” – At another point, he begins playing a Whitney Houston song on his phone and sobbing. Yikes. Really don’t even know what to say about this giant mess. Every single person involved in this should be ashamed of themselves for various reasons… but here ya go.
Nick Gordon won’t talk to police or Bobby Brown about what really happened with Bobbi Kristina before she was found face down in her bathtub at the end of January, leading to her being placed in a medically induced coma with little chance of survival. So who will he talk to? Dr. Phil, of course! That’s right – he’s taking all that “mental anguish” and cashing in on some TV time (and probably actual cash, since you know he’s getting paid for this bullshit) by opening up about his feelings for a total quack, as you do.
Here’s the scoop from People:
The episode airing Wednesday, per a CBS press release, will see Dr. Phil McGraw “offering Gordon the treatment he appears to so desperately need as he battles drug and alcohol addiction.”
Also appearing on the segment will be Gordon’s mother, Michelle.
“As we sit here right now, my son’s life hangs in the balance,” says Michelle in her segment with Dr. Phil, according to the release.
Gordon, 22, will open up about the “severe pain, mental anguish and panic attacks” he says that he has been experiencing ever since finding Bobbi Kristina, now 22, face down and unresponsive in a bathtub in her Georgia home on Jan. 31.
“He won’t let go of the guilt,” reads Michelle’s statement.
Yeah, okay. I mean, sure, maybe he does love her – so much so that he had allegedly been abusing her for years. He’s a drug addict and so is Bobbi Kristina, only her life is the one that’s been lost and he’s the asshole trying to make money off the whole thing. He’s so desperate to see Bobbi, but not willing to meet the very few conditions he’d need to in order to see her, so I’m not buying this bullshit. The only things Dr. Phil did by having Nick on his show is a) give him more publicity and b) buy him more drugs.
Dr. Phil has never really seemed like the smartest cookie to me, despite his esteemed title. Instead, he’s just another money hungry asshole who tries to tell everyone else how to live their lives even though his own isn’t all that great. Even if it was great, the idea that some idiot with a few years of schooling and a TV show knows how you should live your life better than you do is absolute bullshit, but some people still buy it.
In any case, it’s become clear that even Dr. Phil ponders the deep questions in life, as he posted to his Twitter account yesterday a very important question:
Basically, Dr. Phil wants to know if you should fuck a woman who’s off her head on too many Mike’s Hard Lemonades (or whatever) because she might say later she didn’t want it and you might be in a pickle. Is it okay? Considering the implication of his question – which, by the way, was deleted VERY soon after (when he must’ve realised what a dickhead thing it was to ask) – the man in question would be sober, while the woman is drunk. We’re not talking about two drunk people going for it, here. He’s asking if a WOMAN is drunk, can you fuck her and basically get away with it if she says later that it wasn’t consensual. I don’t need a doctorate to answer that. IT IS NOT OKAY, ASSHOLE.
I know I’ll have some dudes (and probably some ladies, naturally) come in the comments here and say I’m “overthinking” it or looking too deeply, but considering that there are high profile cases going on in this country right now that rest on this very argument, I’m gonna call bullshit and say no one’s taking it seriously enough. Tell that high school student in Steubenville that it’s “okay” she got gang-raped by a group of boys because she was drunk. Then come back here and let me know how that goes for you.
Dr. Phil sucks, man.
I didn’t, because I had to go to the dentist and beg him to cut this stupid wisdom tooth out of my head (he didn’t), and I’m incredibly disappointed. But I have read the quotes and watched the clips, and I think it’s safe to say that she was the trainwreck we all expected she would be.
Let’s see, there was the time that Dina was telling Dr. Phil about the time that crazy ol’ Michael Lohan broke into her house, but she couldn’t call the police because “cell phones weren’t as inept as they are now so I didn’t really have that.” It seems like Dr. Phil let that one go for a while, but before the interview was over, he let her know that “that word doesn’t fit in that sentence.”
At one point, Dr. Phil called Dina “phony and inauthentic,” which is when she chose to flip everyone off, and then when Dr. Phil showed a list of the crimes that Lindsay’s gotten in trouble for, and Dina told him that if they were in New York, “five of them would be obsolete,” to which Dr. Phil was basically just like “whatever.”
Oh, and there was this other time that Dina complimented Dr. Phil’s shoes, and then requested a friendly fist bump, saying “can we pound that?” Her request was denied.
Now let’s watch a few clips I found:
I think I’m going to revoke my previous “drunk” guess and change it to something else. Probably pills or just regular old crazy. What about you guys?
When our friends at Celebitchy posted this video and said that Dina Lohan was “completely wasted,” I’ll admit that I was a little skeptical. I mean, of course it’s not a stretch to think that Dina Lohan could be wasted at all, ever, in any situation, but I didn’t think that Dina would get that drunk for an interview with Dr. Phil.
Was I wrong? Boy, was I ever.
Just look at that blatant display of drunkeness, with such strong hints of not giving a f-ck. Is this how she copes with the knowledge that she’s released Lindsay into this world, or is her zany behavior part of why Lindsay is the lovable trainwreck that she is? Do you think she realizes that she just made Michael Lohan look like the most stable Lohan? Why have I never watched Dr. Phil before, if he’s such a sassy bastard?
I hope at least some of these questions will be addressed during the interview, which airs on Monday. Even if they don’t, how could you resist an hour of this?
Check out Dr. Phil’s interview with Diane Sawyer on GMA.
Everything Britney Spears touches turns to shit. Except for Kevin Federline, who apparently turns into Father of the Year.
Dr. Phil is trying to book celebs for his 1000th episode show, but, after the Britney insanity, no one wants to touch him with a 10-foot pole.
“Nobody good wants to go near it,” says a source familiar with the booking process.
Ouch! See what happens when you try to help Britney Spears? Nothing good, people!