So, in short, here’s why Courtney and Doug’s blissful marriage is on showcase for VH1′s ‘Couples Therapy’—Doug is angry about Courtney‘s skank-dressing, which means he probably hates all of her videos, all of her photo shoots, and all of … oh, wait. Everything. And this whole clip is so weird. At one point, Courtney claims that sometimes she calls Doug ‘Dad’, and Doug claims that he’s “raising his wife.” So, so bizarre.
And here’s some more freaky shit—the day after Doug met Courtney in person, he proposed to her. And she accepted. That day. Doug also claims that the marriage, naturally, set off a chain of disastrous life events, like Doug being dropped by his agent, by his family, and by Hollywood in general. Courtney, however, is said to be way better than all three of those things combined, and Doug says it was his “destiny” to marry his child bride, so there’s that, I guess. I’ll say no more. Who am I to shit all over the pure love of two people I don’t even know, anyway, right?
Are you guys going to start watching ‘Couples Therapy’ now? Has this clip sort of set off a chain of disastrous life events for you, too? Like watching ‘Couples Therapy’?
October 4, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Sarah
Honestly, if this was just a three second clip of Courtney Stodden claiming that she’s saved many lives, that would be enough for me. But it’s not, you guys. Well, it is, but it’s so much more than that, too. It’s three minutes and 54 seconds from the new season of Couples Therapy, featuring Courtney and her creeper husband, Doug Hutchison, JoJo from K-Ci and JoJo, and a bunch of other people who are apparently somewhat famous. And it’s wonderful.
Just look at those stupid shapes that Doug shaved onto the side of his stupid head. Just listen to Courtney say “I call him Dad instead of Doug,” and Doug respond with a smile and a comment of “I’m raising my wife.” And then after you get your nausea under control, listen to Courtney tell the therapist that she forgets she’s married sometimes, and let’s all urge her to take that feeling and run, literally run with it. If you can handle it, keep watching until you see Doug’s cry face, and then push through a little more so that you can see Doug say “I didn’t think it was possible, but I’m more deeply in love with you than ever,” and Courtney’s “whatever” face in response. It’s so worth it, you guys. It’s so incredibly worth it.
September 26, 2012 at 10:30 am by Emily
Oh man. What a ripe, hot mess this is going to be. That being said? I’m totally going to watch it.
This is another exclusive clip from the new marriage counseling-reality show called Couples Therapy that VH1′s peddling, because really, what’s a better solution to fixing your dysfunctional, famewhore-based relationship than to televise it for the world to see? This is going to be a goldmine.
In the clip, you can see another contestant (or whatever you’d call people in this particular set of game show-like circumstances) saying that Courtney is “trash,” prompting Doug to get up off his weird ass, while starting to throw down with the naysayer. Later, when Doug is asked why he couldn’t just wait to hit it with Courtney when she turned eighteen instead of being a total creeper, he claimed, “I didn’t want to!” whilst grinding all over her knee.
Quality programming, guys. Quality programming.
September 19, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah
All right, the fact that someone called Doug Hutchison a child molester isn’t all that astonishing or LOL worthy, considering that I’m pretty sure at least one of you guys do that every time we talk about this dude. But here’s where it gets good: someone called Doug Hutchison a child molester to his face.
If you’ll remember, Doug and his shooting star of a wife, Courtney Stodden, recently did a show called Couples Therapy, another VH1 masterpiece. While they were filming, Doug introduced himself to one of his co-stars, gossip blogger Nik Richie of The Dirty. Or, well, he tried to introduce himself, but Nik refused to shake Doug’s hand. He called Doug a child molester, and those were apparently the first and last words he ever said to him, because he wouldn’t acknowledge him afterwards. Doug was reportedly “deeply offended” and “extremely upset” by the whole thing. Bless his heart.
But you know, I don’t think Doug is a child molester, even though his 52-year-old ass did marry his darling bride at the tender age of 16. I think there’s a difference between a child molester and a dude who’s into 16-year-olds. I’m definitely not saying that Doug’s move wasn’t creepy or wrong or gross or any of those things, but he’s not a child molester.
But hey, at least we know that this show is going to be awesome now, right?
August 19, 2012 at 8:00 am by Emily
And I’m really sorry, you guys, but I think you might be disappointed.
It turns out that while Courtney Stodden is, in fact, filming a reality show, it’s not the show we had hoped for. It’s not a new show focusing on the wonderful life of Courtney Stodden, or a new show focusing on Courtney’s journey to become a porn star. It’s not a new show at all.
It turns out that Courtney – take a deep breath now – feels that her marriage to Doug is, despite all we’ve come to believe, NOT perfect. They’re doing the show so they can work on their issues, which, according to someone involved with the production, are due to “their age difference and the notoriety they’ve gotten because of their relationship.” I hope they work on what I’d imagine is the main problem though, which would be the fact that Courtney is way more famous than Doug’s ever been. That’s really got to hurt the old pride, right?
Whatever their issues are, I really hope they work it out. Even though, as Courtney said last year, “51 plus 16 equals sexy love.” Then what about 52 plus 17, Courtney? What does that equal, heartache and misery?
It’s so hard to believe in love anymore, you guys. Especially sexy love.
August 3, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily
Ha! Did you actually think she’d be at Target if she were spending her own? No, she’d be at a corner drugstore, scouring the seasonal clearance aisle for last holiday’s ‘A Christmas Story’-themed decor. See, Doug brings an element of class to a girl’s life, you know.
Doug and Courtney were out shopping this past weekend, where they picked up kitchen essentials like a rolling pin and a hand juicer.
Either that, or they were about to get into some really freaky shit that involved vegetables, homemade ball-gags, and extendable … never mind.
In related Doug-and-Courtney news, Courtney’s new single, ‘Reality’ hits iTunes tomorrow. CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT. Rumor has it that the song’s going to be blow her self-written anthem, ‘Don’t Put It On Me, Girl’ out of the water, but I’m having a hard time believing that, because really—what could possibly be better than this?:
Oh, right, yes. Her new single, ‘Reality’. Here’s a sample:
That’s quality work right there, folks. Will you be setting your alarms for midnight so you can be one of the first to buy Courtney’s new song?