Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Dog The Bounty Hunter

Round One: Dog the Bounty Hunter’s Wife Vs. Randy Quaid

Photos of Dog the Bounty Hunter, Beth Chapman, Randy Quaid

You can run to Canada, Randy and Evi Quaid, and you can hide, but—I’m sorry, I can’t even talk about this with a straight face.

Apparently, Dog the Bounty Hunter’s wife, Beth Chapman, is hunting the Quaids.

I mean, I think she is, at least. In the open letter Beth Chapman posted to her blog yesterday, she threatens that, the instant the Quaids return to the U.S., she and Dog will be there, ready to scoop them up and collect the reward. “You are a fugitive!” she writes. “YOU’RE FREE GAME! And we’re gonna get ya no matter where you go no matter how long it takes.”

But Chapman’s letter suddenly turns sympathetic. “We are reaching out to you, Randy,” she writes. “If you want our help now’s the time to ask.”

“Let us help you negotiate your surrender,” she concludes. Well, that’s very nice of her.

The entire letter, chronicled here for posterity, after the jump.

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Dog The Bounty Hunter Got Nicolas Cage Out of Jail

A photo of Duane "Dog the Bounty Hunter" Chapman

Remember how Nicolas Cage got arrested yesterday? Well, lucky for him he’s got friends in low places, because none other than his BFF Dog the Bounty Hunter posted Nic’s $11,000 bond.  Hey, what are friends for?!

Dog made a statement to E! about his good deed, natch:

“Media from around the world have been requesting interviews with me today after reports surfaced about my posting a bond for actor Nicolas Cage in New Orleans,” Chapman said in a statement to E! News. “I am a truly dedicated fan of Mr. Cage and will not be granting any interviews about my client as I wish to respect his privacy. I performed my duties as a bail bondsman and not in connection with our show. This is what I do for a living. There are two sides of my job: I release my clients after they have been arrested; and pick them up if they don’t show up in court. I do not believe the latter will be the case for Mr. Cage.”

I could poke fun at Dog for his Nic Cage boner, and I could also hint that Dog is still trying to look good for the media after that racism scandal back in ’07.  I could do many things, but I won’t.  I’m just going to mention that this little story has nestled the image of Dog and Nic, BFF extraordinaires, walking down the street hand in hand while “The Best of Friends” from The Fox and the Hound plays in the background in my head forever.  You’re welcome.

Don’t Bother, Dude

Dog the Racist Bounty Hunter is trying to rehabilitate his image.

On Saturday, he appeared at a holiday toy giveaway sponsored by Brotherhood Organization of a New Destiny, a black advocacy group.

“We don’t condone racial slurs, but upon hearing Dog’s apology and after meeting with him and his family, we don’t believe he’s a racist. We also believe that Duane ‘Dog’ Chapman sincerely wants to make amends to the black community, and deserves a second chance,” BOND founder the Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson said in a statement.

WHATEVER!

I mean, I’m glad he’s trying to help out and all, instead of being like, “Okay, guys, you got me,” and then showing up at a KKK holiday toy drive, but still.

There is NO excuse for calling a person the n-word!