Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Dog The Bounty Hunter

Round One: Dog the Bounty Hunter’s Wife Vs. Randy Quaid

Photos of Dog the Bounty Hunter, Beth Chapman, Randy Quaid

You can run to Canada, Randy and Evi Quaid, and you can hide, but—I’m sorry, I can’t even talk about this with a straight face.

Apparently, Dog the Bounty Hunter’s wife, Beth Chapman, is hunting the Quaids.

I mean, I think she is, at least. In the open letter Beth Chapman posted to her blog yesterday, she threatens that, the instant the Quaids return to the U.S., she and Dog will be there, ready to scoop them up and collect the reward. “You are a fugitive!” she writes. “YOU’RE FREE GAME! And we’re gonna get ya no matter where you go no matter how long it takes.”

But Chapman’s letter suddenly turns sympathetic. “We are reaching out to you, Randy,” she writes. “If you want our help now’s the time to ask.”

“Let us help you negotiate your surrender,” she concludes. Well, that’s very nice of her.

The entire letter, chronicled here for posterity, after the jump.

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Dog The Bounty Hunter Got Nicolas Cage Out of Jail

A photo of Duane "Dog the Bounty Hunter" Chapman

Remember how Nicolas Cage got arrested yesterday? Well, lucky for him he’s got friends in low places, because none other than his BFF Dog the Bounty Hunter posted Nic’s $11,000 bond.  Hey, what are friends for?!

Dog made a statement to E! about his good deed, natch:

“Media from around the world have been requesting interviews with me today after reports surfaced about my posting a bond for actor Nicolas Cage in New Orleans,” Chapman said in a statement to E! News. “I am a truly dedicated fan of Mr. Cage and will not be granting any interviews about my client as I wish to respect his privacy. I performed my duties as a bail bondsman and not in connection with our show. This is what I do for a living. There are two sides of my job: I release my clients after they have been arrested; and pick them up if they don’t show up in court. I do not believe the latter will be the case for Mr. Cage.”

I could poke fun at Dog for his Nic Cage boner, and I could also hint that Dog is still trying to look good for the media after that racism scandal back in ’07.  I could do many things, but I won’t.  I’m just going to mention that this little story has nestled the image of Dog and Nic, BFF extraordinaires, walking down the street hand in hand while “The Best of Friends” from The Fox and the Hound plays in the background in my head forever.  You’re welcome.

Don’t Bother, Dude

Dog the Racist Bounty Hunter is trying to rehabilitate his image.

On Saturday, he appeared at a holiday toy giveaway sponsored by Brotherhood Organization of a New Destiny, a black advocacy group.

“We don’t condone racial slurs, but upon hearing Dog’s apology and after meeting with him and his family, we don’t believe he’s a racist. We also believe that Duane ‘Dog’ Chapman sincerely wants to make amends to the black community, and deserves a second chance,” BOND founder the Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson said in a statement.

WHATEVER!

I mean, I’m glad he’s trying to help out and all, instead of being like, “Okay, guys, you got me,” and then showing up at a KKK holiday toy drive, but still.

There is NO excuse for calling a person the n-word!

THE SHIT HAS HIT THE FAN: Dog’s Show Pulled from the Air

Dog the Bounty Hunter Off the Air at A&E After Racist Rant

AMERICA WILL NOT TOLERATE RACISM!

A&E has officially decided to pull Dog the Racist Bounty Hunter from its schedule.

“In evaluating the circumstances of the last few days, A&E has decided to take `Dog The Bounty Hunter’ off the network’s schedule for the foreseeable future,” the network said in a statement Friday. “We hope that Mr. Chapman continues the healing process that he has begun.”

Learn more about the racist rant that started it all!

It’s Official: Dog’s Son Sold Him Out

Tucker Chapman Sold Tape of Dog on Racist Rant to National Enquirer

Dog’s lawyer today announced that, as we’d suspected, Dog’s son sold the tape of his father going on a racist rant to the National Enquirer for “a lot of money.”

“I guess because of whatever level of anger he had of his father, he felt the need to express it in that manner,” the lawyer said.

Damn. Why would the lawyer make that statement? Is Dog trying to make his son look bad now??

That’s sure how it seems!!!

His son Tucker could not be reached for comment.

Dog the Bounty Hunter Is Way Sorry

dog_pic.jpg

Yeah, he’s way sorry that his career is gonna go buh-bye, just like he feared would happen in his little racist rant.

Here’s the ultra-long statement/apology/Hail Mary he came out with late Wednesday:

“My sincerest, heartfelt apologies go out to every person I have offended for my regrettable use of very inappropriate language. I am deeply disappointed in myself for speaking out of anger to my son and using such a hateful term in a private phone conversation. It was completely taken out of context. I was disappointed in his choice of a friend, not due to her race, but her character. However, I should have never used that term. I have the utmost respect and aloha for black people – who have already suffered so much due to racial discrimination and acts of hatred. I did not mean to add yet another slap in the face to an entire race of people who have brought so many gifts to this world. I am ashamed of myself and I pledge to do whatever I can to repair this damage I have caused.

“In Hawaii, we have something called Ho’oponopono, where people come together to resolve crises and restore peace and balance. I am meeting with my spiritual advisor, Rev. Tim Storey, and hope to meet with other black leaders so they can see who I really am and teach me the right thing to do to make things right, again.

“I know that all of my fans are deeply disappointed in me, as well, as I have tried to be a model for doing the right thing. I did not do the right thing this time, and hope you will forgive me. We learn from our mistakes, as my story of overcoming a life of crime has proven, and I will learn from this one for the rest of my life.”

Honestly, I think he probably is a good guy, and probably not racist, but Jesus Christ why on earth would anyone ever use that word to describe another human being these days? It just doesn’t make sense. What the hell was he thinking?

Ohhhhhhh Shit. A&E Suspends Production on Dog’s Show

Duane “Dog the Bounty Hunter” Chapmans Gets Show Pulled by A&E After Racist Comments

After hearing about his little racist rant, A&E, the network that airs his TV show, released the following statement:

“We take this matter very seriously. Pending an investigation, we have suspended production on the series. When the inquiry is concluded we will take appropriate action.”

They probably don’t want to take the same heat NBC took after those Don Imus comments.

Way to go, A&E!