18This Is How Dita Von Teese Dresses To Go To The Foot Doctor

Dita Von Teese is glamorous as hell, and she’s not going to give up her signature retro inspired style for anyone or anything, not even a visit to a podiatrist in a stip mall.

Goddamn she is fancy. This seems like a huge waste of an outfit, but you know she has so many outfits this is probably her equivalent of sweatpants and flip flops. Very high maintenance though. Maybe that’s why Bradley Cooper turned her down. Who really wants to sit around for 1 – 2 hours so your girlfriend can do her hair and makeup to run errands?

May 10, 2013 at 4:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives

4Love It or Leave It: Dita Von Teese Did This

See, I really, really like this look, just not on Dita Von Teese. Not at all, come to think of it. The color washes her out entirely, makes her teeth look beige (which is never a good thing), and generally makes her look slightly older than her 40 years. Also? She kind of looks like Marilyn Manson in drag in this picture, and even after staring at the photo for fifteen minutes, trying to convince myself otherwise, the image is still there.

The things I do like about the ensemble? The shoes and the bag, because red is usually a pretty good decision and Dita always does red well, if nothing else.

Love it or leave it—Dita Von Teese’s outfit today?

January 18, 2013 at 6:30 am by Sarah

13Oh Ew: Dita Von Teese and Russell Crowe—Are They Hittin’ That?

From the New York Post:

Russell Crowe has been sharing some intimate rubdowns with burlesque goddess Dita Von Teese, sources tell us.

The “Les Misérables” star, who split from his wife, Danielle Spencer, in October after nine years of marriage, was spotted holed up with the pin-up gal at the Four Seasons Hotel in December, and they even got a romantic couple’s massage together at 6:30 a.m., says the source.

Crowe and Von Teese have been flirting with each other on Twitter for a while. Last year, Crowe retweeted her posting “Dressage. Was measured for bespoke blk patent boots w/my name stamped on the heel . . . But under whose bed did I leave my Hermes riding crop?”

Around the same time, he also retweeted her message: “Giving airport security a lesson in garter belts this morning.”.

Ugh, I can’t even tell you guys how mildly grossed out I am by this. Wait. I’m sorry—did I say “mildly”? Because I definitely meant “majorly.” See, Dita Von Teese is this lovely, unique creature who seems all delicate and soft and demure, while Russell Crowe is gross, gregarious, and gangrenous (the last one was a stretch, but do you have any better ‘g’ insults?).

Thoughts on the happy new hookup?

January 14, 2013 at 10:30 am by Sarah

29Bradley Cooper Turned Down Dita Von Teese: Girl, What?

Look at this lady. No, really look at her. Oh my god, that fierce bitch is Dita Von Teese, and she is flawless. I can’t even wrap my head around how gorgeous she is: she is too beautiful for the human mind to comprehend beyond “nnngh.” I know she’s done some questionable things (marrying Marilyn Manson, namely, but she fixed that), but I honestly didn’t think that one single person on this planet would be able to turn down this lady if they were ever given the precious, precious chance to be in her presence.

But Bradley Cooper did. And he as to answer for this.

Dita Von Teese has claimed she is enjoying the single life, but she recently got blanked when she tried to chat-up Hollywood hunk Bradley Cooper in a Los Angeles restaurant, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

The star pair found themselves in trendy hotspot — Italian eaterie Farfalla in Los Feliz — at the same time when an eyewitness spied Dita, 40, licking her lips in the general direction of The Hangover star.

However, the burlesque dancer’s attempts at inviting Bradley, 37, over to her table floundered after she tried to send a drink his way. He refused her offer and left the restaurant without even saying goodbye! ( In September, Cooper revealed he’s been sober for 8 years.)

“Bradley completely snubbed Dita when she made a beeline for him,” an onlooker told RadarOnline.com.

“She was desperate to get his attention, so she asked the waitress to go over to his table and ask him what he wanted to drink. Bradley told the waitress he’s on a health kick at the moment and said he was fine.

“After that, Dita was looking over at him, fluttering her eyelids and wanted him to join her and her friend. But Bradley just wasn’t that into her, he ignored her eye contact and just looked down at his phone. He left before she did and didn’t even acknowledge her on the way out of the restaurant. She looked gutted.

“It really was an awkward moment for Dita, I’m sure a lot of men wouldn’t turn her down,” the source concluded.

There have been rumors that Bradley is back with his ex-girlfriend, Zoe Saldana, so I’m hoping that’s the case. I’m hoping that Bradley is just super faithful and in love with her, and that he wasn’t just some single dude with no attachments who turned down Dita Von Teese. Because my mind can’t handle that, it really can’t.

October 14, 2012 at 3:00 pm by Emily

12How Does Dita Do It?

OK, so I realize that about 90% of this woman’s job is to show up and look flawless (the other 10% would be snaking around half-naked inside of a large glass) but for real… how does this woman do it? And don’t you dare say “it’s all hair and make up! We’d all look that good if we had the glam squad she does!” because no we wouldn’t. So I have to know, I just have to know what it is that makes her the physical manifestation of every human’s dream woman because I think my head will break in two if I continue to live ignorant.

Check out these photos of her shilling something called the Cointreaupolitan in Madrid today. Not one hair our of place, not one gangly eyelash. Nothing. I’d hate her if I didn’t want her secrets so badly.

May 28, 2010 at 1:00 am by Molls

7Dita Von Teese Likes Showering With Other Women

The always-effervescent and classic Dita Von Teese attended a book signing at the New Orleans Hotel in Las Vegas yesterday as part of the Rockabilly Party Weekend where she signed “autograph after autograph.”

Von Teese rocked a traditional country-western dress during the day and vamped it up later on at the opening with a low-cut red cocktail dress. The burlesque princess was later scheduled to perform at the Las Vegas opening of The Crazy Horse Paris, where she was scheduled for back-to-back performances. After taking part in what I’m sure was a pretty amazing show, Dita took to her Twitter account and stated:

“Confession: real reason I don’t do aftershow meet&greets each night is because I would miss out on the group shower with the dancers….it’s like gym class, but with beautiful french girls laughing & washing…this giant shower with happy, sweet, funny gorgeous showgirls!”

To the woman who has universal appeal: you’ve just addressed every androgynous sex dream, Dita.  Get some.

April 4, 2010 at 6:14 am by Sarah