Today's Evil Beet Gossip
David Schwimmer

David Schwimmer is a regular Sherlock Holmes

david schwimmer

When you think of David Schwimmer, what do you think of? Most likely Ross Gellar, his character on Friends, comes to mind. But guess what! He’s also a super good crime solver and recently helped the NYPD solve a stabbing case! Whaaaat?

From the New York Post:

“Friends” star David Schwimmer invited cops into his East Village townhouse on Monday for a special screening — a video of an early-morning drunken fight among three men, police sources said.

The brawl had broken out at around 5:40 a.m. in a first-floor apartment in a building on East Sixth Street that adjoins the actor’s home. It spilled into the hallway before the men smashed through a glass lobby door.

Afterward, a 26-year-old john was taken to Bellevue Hospital with stab wounds to the face. His transvestite prostitute ran off, and a third combatant was arrested.

Robert Rainey, 21, of Newark was charged with assault, criminal possession of a weapon and robbery, the sources said.

Witnesses heard the older man shout, “He sliced me up!”

Police had only the two men’s accounts of who did what to whom — until they noticed a security camera on Schwimmer’s property, the sources said.

He showed them the video, and they left with a tape that might be used in court.

I seriously love this whole story – David Schwimmer helping fight crime in the big city? That’s a show in and of itself – and obviously it’d be way better than Joey. Plus, I think we know THIS little tidbit is false now:


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David Schwimmer and Wife Announce Pregnancy

photo of david schwimmer and zoe buckman pictures photographs

If Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie procreating didn’t send Jennifer Aniston over the edge, you know this shit will.  Yeah, I know that Jen never had an actual romantic relationship with David Schwimmer, but come on. This is so something that Jennifer would privately bellyache about, even if she had no prior claim to him. Why? I don’t know.  It’s just what she does.  Please don’t ask me to fathom the brittle mind of a spurned rom-com addict like Jennifer Aniston. I just can’t go there today. It’s too close to the holidays.

Schwimmer, who is newly wed to actress Zoe Buckman, announced yesterday afternoon that they are having a baby.

This, by the way, was Jen’s response to her old friend’s good news:

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Ross and Rachel Are Off Again

Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer reportedly aren’t so friendly after Jen’s most recent Tonight Show appearance. According to the Examiner (a really, really, super credible news source), David’s pissed that Jen told David Letterman that she really had no idea who her former on-screen love interest was engaged to.  And he’s being dramatic about it, too. David’s reportedly not even taking Jen’s phone calls. To be fair, I said the same exact thing when I found out he’d gotten engaged.

Assuming David and Jennifer aren’t super close (think about how different their lives have been the last 10 years… She became A-list/Brad Pitt’s wife and who can name the last thing Schwimdawgs was in?), I don’t really see what the big deal is. I mean, aren’t celeb-types usually thrilled when the details of their personal life are vague?

Ross is Getting Married

David Schwimmer aka The Schwimdawg is getting married to his girl, Zoe Buckman. It will be a first marriage for both the 43-year old actor and 24-year old Zoe. The two reportedly met while Schwimmer was in London directing the movie Run Fatboy Run.

No one cares about David Schwimmer getting married, I know, but I want to know more about this Zoe Buckman. She’s a 24 year old photographer who’s marrying a 43 year old dude I watched on TV my whole life. This chick is younger than me! How’d she pull this off? I’m dying to know…