Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Dakota Johnson

Here’s Your First ’50 Shades of Grey’ Poster

50 shades

Hope you’re all getting moist in your nether regions for the upcoming watered-down 50 Shades of Grey movie that will not contain any of the explicit sex scenes that the entire book is based on! It’s gonna be GREAT! Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson have “chemistry” which they’ll totally put on show for you via a lot of lip biting and some sultry looks before the camera cuts when panties start dropping. I’m sure it’ll be everything that people who actually like that shite were hoping for.

In any case, we’ve got our first look at the poster for the film – which isn’t even due out until 2015, I might add. That seems like a bizarrely far away release date for a franchise whose popularity is already past its prime, right? Ah, whatever. I’m sure plenty of people will go to see “real passion” and the “moving storyline”.

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’50 Shades of Grey’ Stars “Have Chemistry”

jamie dornan dakota johnson

Whoopdi-fuckin-do and all, but it turns out that Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson – the stars of the forthcoming big screen shitshow that will be the 50 Shades of Grey movie – have found “chemistry” together, both on AND off screen. Don’t get any freaky ideas into your head – Jamie is a family guy and I don’t think anyone cares what Dakota does with her life, but they’re just “hot” together.

From E! Online:

The highly anticipated film’s producer, Michael De Luca, spoke with E! News about how filming is going at the Producers Guild Awards over the weekend in Los Angeles.

“It’s hot,” he said of Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan’s chemistry throughout shooting. “I think we are a little more than halfway through but it’s going really good. I’m excited!”

So how are the future Mr. Grey and Anastasia Steele getting along with one another when the cameras aren’t rolling?

“The chemistry is there, they genuinely like each other,” De Luca revealed to us. “They’re enjoying the story, the story is so powerful.”

LOL, the story is so powerful? Dear God, please help the idiots who believe that to be a true statement. Powerfully awful? Powerfully boring and stereotypical? Powerfully geared towards bored housewives? Ah right, I guess that’s what they must’ve meant.

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Dakota Johnson Staying In Shape With Expensive Juice

Dakota+Johnson

Dakota Johnson, who is playing Anastasia in Fifty Shades of Grey, is staying in shape for the role by drinking some very expensive juice from a company called The Juice Box. Director Sam Taylor-Johnson is also partaking in the rich people drink. Here’s what an “insider” (read: Juice Box spokesperson) told E Online,

They order the organic cold-press juices. They love them. They have a standing order for them. [They] are not doing a cleanse and are basically drinking a couple each day.

Okay, now for the prices. Each indivudual juice costs $10-$11.50. A month-long subscription costs $340 and includes only 10 juices. Um, what?

I cannot handle Hollywood’s ridiculous food trends sometimes.

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