I’ve never quite gotten “into” True Blood—although I am pretty sure I can name the television show’s creator and stars offhand. But! If producers have their way, that might be about to change! (The part about actually watching True Blood, I mean.)

The-powers-that-be are apparently rallying hard to add Christopher Meloni to the HBO vampire drama’s cast. MY HEAD JUST BLEW UP. Can you even imagine? “Count Stabler”—that has such a nice ring to it.

Ooh! What if…

(more…)

Alright, perhaps the headline on this post is a wee bit dramatic, but yo! Have you seen that Detective Stabler is leaving Law & Order: Special Victims Unit?

According to the New York Times, NBC “quietly announced” that Mr. Meloni will be leaving the show at the end of this season because his team and the network couldn’t come to an agreement regarding his contract. I’m not sure how it’s even possible that they could axe the show’s greatest (and sexiest) character over what’s probably toilet paper money for the NBC in the grand scheme of things.

Maybe it wasn’t the money. Maybe it was the idea that he’d potentially have to look Jennifer Love Hewitt in the face every day and not laugh.

I’m going to call it now though: Stabler’s final episode will be him getting the book thrown at him for beating up yet another pedophile. Actually, maybe he’ll go all the way and kill ‘em. The show sure could use that kinda drama going in to what will probably be its last season.

*SADFACE*

I saw these photos and I had to share them with you because they are like, such a moment in time. It’s Ann-Margret celebrating her Emmy Nomination (a couple weeks late?) with the stars of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. These photos are more or less everything I love about entertainment in one photo: old school babes, sex crimes, Christopher Meloni and beautiful flowers. If Nicki Minaj could rap over these photos, they’d be perfect. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

And, while you’re at it, also take off that belt and those pants and throw me on the bed and take all the stress of your long, hard, thick detective job out on me. Ooh, baby. Fuck yeah. Solve that crime.

Seriously, Chris Meloni fucking sucks and I’ll tell you why. This sonofabitch refuses to walk a single damn red carpet if he can’t bring along his stupid wife of 1000 years and his one billion children with her. How am I supposed to take my Detective Stabler sex fantasies seriously when you pull this shit? Think of your fans, Chris.

Here he is not having sex with me at the Children Affected by AIDS Foundation Dream Halloween benefit in NYC.

Also there: James Gandolfini, with his new wife and his old kids.

I mean, the hat?

It’s not a cowboy hat.

It’s not even really a top hat.

What type of hat is it, then?

It is the wrong hat. It is the wrong hat, Chris.

With his wife at a screening of The Savages.

Okay, so total hottie Chris Meloni (Evil T once grinded on his lap — long story, and I promise his wife’s okay with it) took his two kiddos to an event where he and his wife, Sherman, were honored, the Children Affected by Aids Foundation’s Dream Halloween. How cute are they???

James Gandolfini showed up with his wife, Marcy, and son Michael, who’s wearing about the cutest costume I’ve ever seen.

Plus we’ve got new shots of Kelly Ripa and her son Michael leaving a birthday party in NYC.