Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Christopher Meloni

Christopher Meloni shows off his package

christopher meloni

Oh dear, it’s a Jon Hamm‘s dong situation all over again, but this time, Christopher Meloni is the one posting dick pics (of sorts) online. In fact, he is fully clothed, but I dunno what made him think posting this picture of his dog staring at his crotch was a great idea. Here we are, though, so we might as well just accept it. Here’s Chis’s dong in all its shrouded glory (Oh, and he captioned it: “I will stare at your genitalia until u feed me…. #dogpsychology.” Ooookay!):

christopher meloni dong

I guess we know where Detective Stabler kept his gun, now? (Awful, I know.)

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Rumor: Detective Stabler to Join Cast of ‘True Blood’?

Photo: Christopher Meloni at the Radio City Christmas SPECTACULAR!!!!!!!

I’ve never quite gotten “into” True Blood—although I am pretty sure I can name the television show’s creator and stars offhand. But! If producers have their way, that might be about to change! (The part about actually watching True Blood, I mean.)

The-powers-that-be are apparently rallying hard to add Christopher Meloni to the HBO vampire drama’s cast. MY HEAD JUST BLEW UP. Can you even imagine? “Count Stabler”—that has such a nice ring to it.

Ooh! What if…

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Christopher Meloni is Leaving ‘SVU’, I Have Nothing Left to Live For

Photo of Christopher Meloni Shirtless on a bearskn rug

Alright, perhaps the headline on this post is a wee bit dramatic, but yo! Have you seen that Detective Stabler is leaving Law & Order: Special Victims Unit?

According to the New York Times, NBC “quietly announced” that Mr. Meloni will be leaving the show at the end of this season because his team and the network couldn’t come to an agreement regarding his contract. I’m not sure how it’s even possible that they could axe the show’s greatest (and sexiest) character over what’s probably toilet paper money for the NBC in the grand scheme of things.

Maybe it wasn’t the money. Maybe it was the idea that he’d potentially have to look Jennifer Love Hewitt in the face every day and not laugh.

I’m going to call it now though: Stabler’s final episode will be him getting the book thrown at him for beating up yet another pedophile. Actually, maybe he’ll go all the way and kill ‘em. The show sure could use that kinda drama going in to what will probably be its last season.

*SADFACE*