Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Christopher Meloni

Christopher Meloni shows off his package

christopher meloni

Oh dear, it’s a Jon Hamm‘s dong situation all over again, but this time, Christopher Meloni is the one posting dick pics (of sorts) online. In fact, he is fully clothed, but I dunno what made him think posting this picture of his dog staring at his crotch was a great idea. Here we are, though, so we might as well just accept it. Here’s Chis’s dong in all its shrouded glory (Oh, and he captioned it: “I will stare at your genitalia until u feed me…. #dogpsychology.” Ooookay!):

christopher meloni dong

I guess we know where Detective Stabler kept his gun, now? (Awful, I know.)

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Rumor: Detective Stabler to Join Cast of ‘True Blood’?

Photo: Christopher Meloni at the Radio City Christmas SPECTACULAR!!!!!!!

I’ve never quite gotten “into” True Blood—although I am pretty sure I can name the television show’s creator and stars offhand. But! If producers have their way, that might be about to change! (The part about actually watching True Blood, I mean.)

The-powers-that-be are apparently rallying hard to add Christopher Meloni to the HBO vampire drama’s cast. MY HEAD JUST BLEW UP. Can you even imagine? “Count Stabler”—that has such a nice ring to it.

Ooh! What if…

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Christopher Meloni is Leaving ‘SVU’, I Have Nothing Left to Live For

Photo of Christopher Meloni Shirtless on a bearskn rug

Alright, perhaps the headline on this post is a wee bit dramatic, but yo! Have you seen that Detective Stabler is leaving Law & Order: Special Victims Unit?

According to the New York Times, NBC “quietly announced” that Mr. Meloni will be leaving the show at the end of this season because his team and the network couldn’t come to an agreement regarding his contract. I’m not sure how it’s even possible that they could axe the show’s greatest (and sexiest) character over what’s probably toilet paper money for the NBC in the grand scheme of things.

Maybe it wasn’t the money. Maybe it was the idea that he’d potentially have to look Jennifer Love Hewitt in the face every day and not laugh.

I’m going to call it now though: Stabler’s final episode will be him getting the book thrown at him for beating up yet another pedophile. Actually, maybe he’ll go all the way and kill ‘em. The show sure could use that kinda drama going in to what will probably be its last season.

*SADFACE*

These Pictures Are Adorable

I saw these photos and I had to share them with you because they are like, such a moment in time. It’s Ann-Margret celebrating her Emmy Nomination (a couple weeks late?) with the stars of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. These photos are more or less everything I love about entertainment in one photo: old school babes, sex crimes, Christopher Meloni and beautiful flowers. If Nicki Minaj could rap over these photos, they’d be perfect. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

Take Off That Ridiculous Hat, Detective Stabler

And, while you’re at it, also take off that belt and those pants and throw me on the bed and take all the stress of your long, hard, thick detective job out on me. Ooh, baby. Fuck yeah. Solve that crime.

Seriously, Chris Meloni fucking sucks and I’ll tell you why. This sonofabitch refuses to walk a single damn red carpet if he can’t bring along his stupid wife of 1000 years and his one billion children with her. How am I supposed to take my Detective Stabler sex fantasies seriously when you pull this shit? Think of your fans, Chris.

Here he is not having sex with me at the Children Affected by AIDS Foundation Dream Halloween benefit in NYC.

Also there: James Gandolfini, with his new wife and his old kids.

Celebs and Their Kids: Still Cute!

Christopher Meloni from Law & Order with His Son Dante and His Daughter Sophia at Children Affected by Aids Foundation’s Dream Halloween

James Gandolfini with his Wife Marcy and Son Michael at Children Affected by Aids Foundation’s Dream Halloween

Okay, so total hottie Chris Meloni (Evil T once grinded on his lap — long story, and I promise his wife’s okay with it) took his two kiddos to an event where he and his wife, Sherman, were honored, the Children Affected by Aids Foundation’s Dream Halloween. How cute are they???

James Gandolfini showed up with his wife, Marcy, and son Michael, who’s wearing about the cutest costume I’ve ever seen.

Plus we’ve got new shots of Kelly Ripa and her son Michael leaving a birthday party in NYC.

Christopher Meloni from Law & Order His Daughter Sophia at Children Affected by Aids Foundation’s Dream Halloween Christopher Meloni from Law & Order with His Wife Sherman and His Daughter Sophia at Children Affected by Aids Foundation’s Dream Halloween Kelly Ripa and Son Michael Leave a Birthday Party at Reebok Sports Club in New York City, Pictures, Photos Kelly Ripa and Son Michael Leave a Birthday Party at Reebok Sports Club in New York City, Pictures, Photos